Ask Christopher West

Questions answered this episode:
I have a question about Second Chronicles, chapter seven, verse fourteen, which says: 'If my people, who are called by my name, humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' My question is: how do we seek God’s face? I hear it all the time, but I’m not sure exactly how to do it. Is it through adoration, reading scripture, or sitting silently in His presence?"
My wife and I have been married for 11 years with six children. Before we met, she had a four-year romantic relationship that was not chastened. Through the Lord’s work, we lived a call to chastity in our engagement and marriage. While there has been healing from her past wounds, we realize more is needed. When we married, my wife was shocked that she had less desire for sex than in her previous relationship. We also struggle for her to reach climax, which wasn't a problem then. This leaves me feeling unworthy, incapable, and unloved, despite her deep love for me. We’ve tried applying Theology of the Body to our struggle, but we don’t know how.
Can you talk about lingerie or cute short dresses only used within the privacy of a husband and wife in Catholic teaching? I always thought about it as something beautiful that looks good and that I would love to wear, but not outside—something that my husband could enjoy between us privately. I’m worried it is not good to wear anything ‘sexy’ or short, flattering on the body, and clearly inviting even for your husband. I don’t know if this is scrupulosity or fear that it will be bad for our marriage, for him, or for me. For context, I’m not married yet but soon will be and I’m preparing excitedly.

Resources:
Nacho Libre Video
TOB1 Course
Course Schedule
Lingerie Podcast

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

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🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
As a teacher of Theology of the Body, I was presented with a picture of Pope John Paul II by a former student. Before seeing it, I hoped for an image of his younger, energetic self—skiing, hiking, or writing. However, it was a close-up of him as an elderly man, hunched in a chair. I felt a wave of disappointment, realizing I struggle to see the beauty in the entirety of life and the aging body. I know I have healing to do in my heart; how do I begin to see the whole life cycle as a gift?
As a single woman, is it wrong to have sexual desires? I don’t think about men lustfully; it’s more of a deep ache to be loved, married, and have sex. At random times, I wish I had someone to hold, caress, and embrace in the marital act. My body also shows physical signs of arousal, especially during certain times in my cycle—perhaps God’s way of giving me a foretaste of the New Jerusalem. I’ve tried offering my desires to God in prayer, but I still feel this ache in my heart and body.
I am 60 years old and have been a widow for eight years. My husband and I were looking forward to a new chapter of intimacy after our children moved out, but then he died. In my anger and grief, I invited a deviant sexual spirit upon myself, feeling it was ridiculous to live without sex or marriage at my age. Though I have since repented, I feel heartbroken and betrayed by God. I feel I was created to be a wife, yet I am exhausted from being alone with no mate in sight. I simply want to know: why?
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Resources:
⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠
Love & Responsibility YouTube Series

Questions answered this episode:
I’m a first-time mom to an almost six-month-old, and motherhood is both the most beautiful and difficult thing I’ve ever done. I struggle with knowing what it means to lay down my life as a parent. In other relationships, we’re taught to set healthy boundaries and ensure our needs are met, but in motherhood, even my basic needs—sleep, exercise, seeing friends—feel like sacrifices. The other night, a failed attempt at extra sleep left me frustrated with God, my baby, my husband, and myself for not sacrificing more joyfully. I genuinely love my daughter, but how do I truly learn to joyfully surrender? Why does the Lord ask so much of me?
I know Christopher has mentioned in the past that music and movies can be a pathway to feeling the Lord’s love and grace. But what about movies and music that are vulgar or sexually explicit? Is this holy in its own way, or is it something that should be avoided?
In a YouTube video, I heard Christopher distinguish between "being gay" and experiencing same-sex attraction. I began to understand that my sexual dimension doesn't define my whole person, yet that "something more" has become invisible due to pornography. I mostly feel desire, longing, and conflict. I felt that if I fought my inclinations, there would be nothing left of me; need for love and pleasure became so intertwined I couldn't distinguish them. I viewed my lack of a physical partner as proof I’m unworthy of love. After much pain, I’m asking if there’s another way to fill this void—one that seeks deep, soulful closeness rather than just pleasure.

Resources:
U2 Scars Song
Course Schedule

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
In Matthew 5:30, Jesus says, 'And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you...' In the spirit of the theology of the body, the idea of cutting off one's own hand seems like a gross insult to God's image in which we are made. I can understand amputation for medical reasons, but I cannot help but think that sin is a matter of will, so no kind of concupiscence could merit amputation. But in believing that, I would seem to be going against Christ's guidance here. How are we to understand this commission to go so far as to irrevocably alter the body in service of mitigating concupiscence?
I struggle to believe that I can be loved because of the way I look. Growing up, I'm told that no man will ever love me because I'm fat and that in order to be lovable I have to be skinny. I was diagnosed with PCOS, which explains the uncontrollable weight gain. I do my best to take care of myself but my body does not lose weight so easily. Recently, there has been a guy who has been flirting with me, but I have a hard time believing he's interested because how can someone love me looking the way I look? I don't know what to do or how to change my concept of myself.
Why is Mary called Stella Maris?

Resources:
Discerning Marriage Podcast with Elizabeth Busby
Are you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning Marriage
⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

Questions answered this episode:
I came into the Church about three years ago, and my fiancé is entering this Easter. He quickly came to know Mary, but it has been taking me some time. I buy her flowers and pray the Rosary, but I don’t seem to connect with her. In John, Jesus says, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' Yet there is the saying 'to Jesus through Mary.' How can I know her?"
The girl who I thought I would marry had suddenly broken up with me. I'm happy to report that the Lord's healing has been present, and He has worked a lot of good in my heart. However, I find that my romantic desire is seemingly broken. After two or three dates, I feel like my heart just gives out. Like a battery in a TV remote—it comes back on for a little while and then it goes back out. How can I cultivate eros again? I know that I’m supposed to feel it.
My husband and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I am now navigating perimenopause and have been diagnosed with potentially dangerous ovarian cysts, adenomyosis and endometriosis. Doctors have suggested medically inducing menopause to stop ovarian function and potentially stop the progression of these conditions. My husband made the remark that inducing menopause artificially is a way of making me intentionally sterile. I am now torn by the idea that I would be committing mortal sin.

Resources:
🎟️ Event Schedule
📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠