Ask Christopher West

• Fantasies in the Marriage Bed, Finding God in Ice Cream, and Redeeming of Arousal | ACW321

  Questions answered this episode: 1. I’m a woman in my 40’s and I’ve found it difficult to get in the mood with my husband unless I create fantasies in my head. These fantasies are usually of sexual situations I create that don’t involve my husband or in many cases even me. I’ll picture two nameless people in an intimate act. Sometimes one party is using another party or the other party is cheating on his wife with a beautiful young woman. Before I was serious about my faith I had looked at porn although it was rare, and my sexual history was not good; multiple parters out of wedlock, using and being used, contraception, and other things. I hate that I have these fantasies because I want the union with my husband to be holy. However, either I create the fantasies to get in the mood or if I push those fantasies away I find sex boring and just another item on my to do list. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think about when in the marital embrace. I feel like my mind has been so warped by the culture that it is hard to move forward. Can you help my mind and these fantasies during the marital embrace? What should I be thinking about? 2. I’ve heard you say that it’s important not to stop at the window. Meaning not to let the icons in our lives become idols where we expect from them what only God can be for us. I love the emphasis on finding windows to the divine in our life and how many of these can lead us towards rather than detract us from our relationship with God. How can this be applied on a practical day to day basis? 3. For most of my life I’ve had a warped view of the natural experience of erections. I’ve been told that it’s meant to be immediately relieved, that it’s meant to be pleasurable, but most of all that it’s shameful and dirty. As I’ve gotten deep into my faith and discovered TOB I’ve wrestled with what new redeemed definition this experience could have. Could it be that this rising of my body could be the desire of my heart and soul to rise to the occasion of loving well and the desire to physically give myself to someone else? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. 🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body (https://www.tobforfree.com) 📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty (www.eatingthesunrise.com) ⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community (https://tobpatron.com)! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com (http://www.askchristopherwest.com). Resources mentioned this week: Join Christopher on a ski trip to Utah Click here (https://jp2trails.com/trip/utah-ski- retreat/) TOBI COURSE SCHEDULE (https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/) List of trusted professionals (https://tobinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/TOBI-Recommended-Psychologists-Updated-6-8-20.pdf). 🎥 Check out our YouTube Channel (https://www.youtube.com/@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute) 📚 View our COURSE SCHEDULE (https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/) to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! 📘 GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE (https://shop.corproject.com/collections/best-sellers/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage) by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies. ⛷️ Join Christopher on a ski trip to Utah Click here (https://jp2trails.com/trip/utah-ski-retreat/) 🏔️ Want to join us on one of our pilgrimages? Click here (http://tobpilgrimages.com/) 🌟 For professional Catholic Life Coaching, including Porn Recovery: https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/ (https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/) If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: [email protected] Find Christopher West on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/cwestofficial) and Instagram (http://www.instagram.com/cwestofficial). Discover the Theology of the Body Institute (http://www.tobinstitute.org). If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ask-christopher-west/id1448699486). Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals (https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing). Featuring music by Mike Mangione (https://www.mikemangione.com/).

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  54:57
• Love in an Abusive Marriage, Confessing Lust as a Woman, and “Same-Sex Vocation” | ACW320

  Questions answered this episode: 1. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. Shortly after we got married, my husband became verbally and physically abusive. There’s such a disconnected between his professed love for me and the lived reality of our marriage. As his abusive behavior has continued, I’ve found myself walling off my heart more and more. Intellectually I know that a covenantal relationship with God is different and I need to remain open but it feels like my heart has stopped believing it. Many days I feel like if marriage reflects how God loves us then I’m sick of “being loved”. How can I stay open to the beautiful promises of the eternal wedding feast when its early foretaste is ugly and painful? 2. Recently I was in confession and I said that at times I am “lustful”. The priest asked me to be more specific and as a woman I felt very uncomfortable being more specific. After confession I was reflecting on it more and realized maybe I do need to be more specific so the priest understands what exactly I’m confessing. Typically how I feel when I engage in this sin is when I see an attractive man that’s not my husband, I may find myself aroused by him and let myself entertain the idea of him to much. Also at times I see my intentions for coming together with my husband are not fully pure and there might be some selfish, lustful desires there. Many times I stop myself and do not suggest coming together with my husband to avoid using him. Is there a more concise yet specific way of confessing these sins without giving all these details? Is there a name for these sins? I want to be accountable but understand that priests are fallen men too and I want to be prudent especially because I’m a young woman. 3. What would your advice be for two catholics with same sex attraction who want to adhere to the teachings of the Church who believe it is their vocation to be life partners romantically but not sexually? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. 🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body (https://www.tobforfree.com) 📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty (www.eatingthesunrise.com) ⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community (https://tobpatron.com)! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com (http://www.askchristopherwest.com). Resources mentioned this week: Jameis Winston Video (https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Jkz6xlfb89s?si=sgenYc8iOfnWQCtm) Join Christopher on a ski trip to Utah Click here (https://jp2trails.com/trip/utah-ski-retreat/) TOBI Event Calendar (https://tobinstitute.org/live-events/) Hope’s Garden (https://hopesgarden.com/) Desert Stream Ministries (https://www.desertstream.org/) 🎥 Check out our YouTube Channel (https://www.youtube.com/@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute) 📚 View our COURSE SCHEDULE (https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/) to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! 📘 GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE (https://shop.corproject.com/collections/best-sellers/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage) by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies. ⛷️ Join Christopher on a ski trip to Utah Click here (https://jp2trails.com/trip/utah-ski-retreat/) 🏔️ Want to join us on one of our pilgrimages? Click here (http://tobpilgrimages.com/) 🌟 For professional Catholic Life Coaching, including Porn Recovery: https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/ (https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/) If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: [email protected] Find Christopher West on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/cwestofficial) and Instagram (http://www.instagram.com/cwestofficial). Discover the Theology of the Body Institute (http://www.tobinstitute.org). If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ask-christopher-west/id1448699486). Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals (https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing). Featuring music by Mike Mangione (https://www.mikemangione.com/).

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  48:00
• Bodily Functions in Eden, Navigating Endometriosis, and Finding Confidence in Disability and Masculinity | ACW319

  Questions answered this episode: 1. In the state of original innocence did Adam & Eve experience bodily functions like defecation and urination? If so, how would these have aligned with their original harmony and the perfection of creation. Sometimes these functions are uncomfortable or even painful. 2. For almost a year now I’ve been in a beautiful catholic relationship. We both love God and our faith and want to follow the Church’s teaching in our relationship. We’re discerning marriage at the moment and we’re navigating through the obstacles. I’m 21 now and since I was 13 I’ve had endometriosis with heavy symptoms. I’ve tried many treatments over the years with little success. One year ago, after a lot of inner battles I started taking a birth control pill. Since them I’m almost symptom free. If we were to get married in the next year, it wouldn’t be responsible for us to have children right away because we’re both still in college for at least 2 and a half years. If I would stop taking the pill and start NFP that would mean a lot of pain and a great burden for my daily life. I’m extremely afraid of this scenario. Could you shed some light into this confusion? 3. I have a physical disability that prevents me from driving and being handy and limits my ability to provide physical protection. I hear so often about how women want men with these traits so they feel safe to express their femininity. I want to trust that God will help me find someone but I get discouraged thinking about how my disability limits me in fulfilling natural female desires. How should I make myself worthy of a kind, affectionate and loyal woman given my disability. Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. 🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body (https://www.tobforfree.com) 📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty (www.eatingthesunrise.com) ⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community (https://tobpatron.com)! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com (http://www.askchristopherwest.com). Resources mentioned this week: Paul VI Institute (https://popepaulvi.com/) NAPRO Technology (https://naprotechnology.com/) Good News About Sex & Marriage (https://shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage) 🎥 Check out our YouTube Channel (https://www.youtube.com/@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute) 📚 View our COURSE SCHEDULE (https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/) to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! 📘 GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE (https://shop.corproject.com/collections/best-sellers/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage) by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies. ⛷️ Join Christopher on a ski trip to Utah Click here (https://jp2trails.com/trip/utah-ski-retreat/) 🏔️ Want to join us on one of our pilgrimages? Click here (http://tobpilgrimages.com/) 🌟 For professional Catholic Life Coaching, including Porn Recovery: https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/ (https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/) If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: [email protected] Find Christopher West on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/cwestofficial) and Instagram (http://www.instagram.com/cwestofficial). Discover the Theology of the Body Institute (http://www.tobinstitute.org). If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ask-christopher-west/id1448699486). Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals (https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing). Featuring music by Mike Mangione (https://www.mikemangione.com/).

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  44:19
• Rehabilitating Sexual Desire, Pelvic Health Practice, and Embracing Masculinity | ACW318

  Questions answered this episode: 1. I’m 21, finishing up college soon and have been fighting for the past 6 years to overcome an addiction to porn and masturbation that started when I was first exposed to porn in 4th grade. The past 2 years have been especially tumultuous with lots of victory and defeat. However I believe God has been allowing these setbacks in order to purify me in numerous ways. Recently I started going on dates with a good friend of mine. As a result, I’ve noticed two particularly concerning things in myself. 1: I feel like I’ve resigned myself to the fact that God is the only one who would ever accept me. I can’t imagine someone knowing everything about me and still loving me fully. I want to be loved by more than just God but I see that as a fantasy. 2: I feel like my battle with porn has left me needing physical therapy for my sexual desire. I feel like I’ve been so hard against lust that I’ve lost the ability to experience sexual desire purely. Do you have any recommendations on how to rehabilitate my sexual desire? 2. I’m a physical therapist specializing in pelvic health. I see prenatal and postpartum women, postmenopausal women, and men who also may suffer from pelvic pain or pelvic surgery. This is a wonderful profession which also opens a door to see a lot of suffering and life challenges. In my work I meet people from all walks of life and belief systems who are experiencing pain and sometimes trauma. Lately I’ve been asking myself how I can best help people when the help they want is not in keeping with my catholic faith. These are matters around sex, gender and all the values and teachings that come with these. How do I practice and stay true to my faith. Can I treat them according to their goals and tell myself is between them and God or am I complicit in their sin? 3. How can I learn to embrace my masculinity in a healthy way when sometimes I do not feel like a complete normal man since I only have 1 testicle. I’ve always felt a little shy and inadequate even though I’ve excelled in many areas of life. Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. 🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body (https://www.tobforfree.com) 📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty (www.eatingthesunrise.com) ⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community (https://tobpatron.com)! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com (http://www.askchristopherwest.com). Resources mentioned this week: Help against porn playlist (https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAbqXQaOvkM5bCz689gTJM4IdMr7Qd5gb&si=rbsKflk3Hc-a9bwg) Catholic Medical Association (https://www.cathmed.org/) National Catholic Bioethics Center (https://www.ncbcenter.org/) 🎥 Check out our YouTube Channel (https://www.youtube.com/@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute) 📚 View our COURSE SCHEDULE (https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/) to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! 📘 GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE (https://shop.corproject.com/collections/best-sellers/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage) by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies. ⛷️ Join Christopher on a ski trip to Utah Click here (https://jp2trails.com/trip/utah-ski-retreat/) 🏔️ Want to join us on one of our pilgrimages? Click here (http://tobpilgrimages.com/) 🌟 For professional Catholic Life Coaching, including Porn Recovery: https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/ (https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/) If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: [email protected] Find Christopher West on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/cwestofficial) and Instagram (http://www.instagram.com/cwestofficial). Discover the Theology of the Body Institute (http://www.tobinstitute.org). If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ask-christopher-west/id1448699486). Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals (https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing). Featuring music by Mike Mangione (https://www.mikemangione.com/).

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  53:18
• Wedding Hypocrisy, Mystery of Confession & Feminine Body, and Desire Gap Between Couples | ACW317

  Questions answered this episode: 1. I’m discerning marriage with a wonderful girl and I discovered a hurt in my heart that I wasn’t fully conscious of. While growing up I was always scandalized and nauseated every time I perceived hypocrisy from others, especially in marriage celebrations. I knew that all the display of vanity that society prescribes is about appearance and virtue signaling to others. The spouses are expected to give some sort of public performance showing their great love story and fulfillment of personal projects. At the thought that I will have to live this I still get nauseated and angry. The whole process of preparing the celebration takes more than a year where I live. I wish I felt differently about it and I wish I could be a part of a community that lives and thinks differently about this. How can I heal? 2. A few months ago, I began to go to Confession every time I started my cycle but after attending the Marian Mystery Course, I wonder if there’s more truth to that practice than I originally thought. Is there or could there be a connection between a woman’s body going through a type of painful purification in order to receive her husband and conceive life to God’s church being called to purify their souls in confession in order to receive God’s gift of eternal life in the Eucharist. 3. I am a relationship therapist. I struggle when couples come to me regarding discrepancies in sex drive. Most often, the issue is that the man wants sex, the woman denies it and the man pouts and potentially becomes very upset. Do you have any thoughts about how I can help these couples? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. 🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body (https://www.tobforfree.com) 📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty (www.eatingthesunrise.com) ⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community (https://tobpatron.com)! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com (http://www.askchristopherwest.com). Resources mentioned this week: TOBI COURSE SCHEDULE (https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/) Join ChristJP2 Trails (https://jp2trails.com/trip/utah-ski-retreat/) JPII Legacy Foundation Website (https://www.jp2legacy.org/) Please reach out to Dave Sloan for info on the John Paul II Legacy Foundation: [email protected] Click here if you’d like to make a gift to the St. John Paul II Legacy Foundation (https://secure.myvanco.com/L-ZN01/campaign/C-15133) 🎥 Check out our YouTube Channel (https://www.youtube.com/@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute) 📚 View our COURSE SCHEDULE (https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/) to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! 📘 GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE (https://shop.corproject.com/collections/best-sellers/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage) by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies. 🏔️ Want to join us on one of our pilgrimages? Click here (http://tobpilgrimages.com/) 🌟 For professional Catholic Life Coaching, including Porn Recovery: https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/ (https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/) If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: [email protected] Find Christopher West on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/cwestofficial) and Instagram (http://www.instagram.com/cwestofficial). Discover the Theology of the Body Institute (http://www.tobinstitute.org). If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ask-christopher-west/id1448699486). Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals (https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing). Featuring music by Mike Mangione (https://www.mikemangione.com/).

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  50:42

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