Why do so many women leave their birth experience wondering, “Why did I agree to that?”
In this episode, we explore a rarely discussed but deeply important aspect of childbirth — the body’s survival response, and how it can shape decision-making in labour in ways we don’t always recognise at the time.
Through a powerful listener story, this conversation gently unpacks what can happen when a woman is in a highly vulnerable, hormonally driven state, and how her nervous system may respond to pressure, authority, or perceived threat. We explore the concept of fawning — a natural, biological response where the body seeks safety through compliance — and how this can lead to saying “yes” in moments where there may not have felt like a real choice.
We then move into cognitive dissonance, the psychological process that often follows birth, where the brain works to make sense of decisions that may not have felt fully aligned in the moment. This can leave women feeling confused, questioning themselves, or quietly unsettled — even when everything appeared to go “well” on the surface.
This episode is not about blame or criticism. It’s about understanding.
Understanding the nervous system.
Understanding the power dynamics within maternity care.
And understanding how true, informed consent relies on more than just the presence of a “yes.”
We also explore what this means in the context of autonomy and consent, and why awareness of these responses before birth can be so powerful. When women understand how their body and brain may respond under pressure, they can begin to prepare — not to control birth, but to stay more connected to themselves within it.
If you have ever felt unsure about decisions made during your birth, or if you’re preparing for birth and want a deeper understanding of how to protect your space, your voice, and your autonomy, this episode will offer a new lens — one rooted in compassion, not judgement.
Because this isn’t about getting it “right.”
It’s about understanding what’s happening — and giving yourself the support and awareness to stay connected to your choices, even in the most intense moments.
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If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford
If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-
Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove
The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df
Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO
Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF
You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk
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Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford
Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable fo...
Ireland