Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

This week I'm talking to Cape Town-based CBT practitioner Emily about the practical ways Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can support behaviour change and an alcohol-free life.

Emily explains how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours become connected over time, and why drinking can become an automatic response to anxiety, stress, celebration or discomfort. Rather than judging these patterns, CBT encourages us to become curious about them — and then start interrupting them.

Emily introduces the simple STOP technique for dealing with an urge:

S — Stop: pause rather than reacting automatically.
T — Take a breath: interrupt the urge and calm the nervous system.
O — Observe: notice the thought or feeling without treating it as a command.
P — Proceed: choose what you want to do next with intention rather than running on autopilot.

We also discussed urge surfing, journalling and thought records, as well as how to challenge limiting beliefs such as “I deserve a drink” or “I can’t relax without alcohol.” Instead of simply replacing these thoughts with positive ones, Emily suggests looking at the whole truth: What is alcohol really giving you — and what happens afterwards?

The conversation also explores why people can become trapped in repeated attempts at moderation, the importance of building alternative coping strategies, and why an alcohol-free life needs to contain things that genuinely provide relaxation, pleasure, connection and purpose.

There’s even a fascinating discussion about dogs and emotional regulation — including Emily’s six-month-old Staffy, Vizoo — and the role that movement, routine, connection and unconditional companionship can play in our wellbeing.

Emily leaves us with a beautifully simple message: you don't have to change everything at once.

If you're feeling stuck in your drinking, becoming curious is already a beginning. Take one small step — write down a thought, speak to someone, try a tool or experiment with a few alcohol-free days. Change doesn't require perfection; it begins with awareness, curiosity and action.

You can find Emily on Instagram - @cbtincpt

You can find Tribe Sober here

Eclipse the Story: Remembering Your Light
🎵 Intro and Outro Song: Remember – Sutherland

🦋 Episode Summary
This week, Lynette reflects on the symbolism of the recent total solar eclipse and asks a powerful question:

What if it isn’t life that’s eclipsing your light… but the thoughts you’ve been practising?

Drawing on neuroscience, coaching, and her own journey as she approaches nine years alcohol-free, Lynette explores how our brains become prediction machines. Repeated thoughts, when linked with feelings and behaviours, become familiar neural pathways that shape our beliefs, our identity, and ultimately the life we create.

Using a simple coaching model—Circumstance → Thought → Feeling → Action → Result—this episode explores how we can become detectives of our own thinking, understand why we keep repeating old patterns, and intentionally create new ones.

Recovery isn’t just about stopping drinking.

It’s about remembering who you’ve always been.

✨ In This Episode

Why the eclipse is a powerful metaphor for recovery.

The difference between circumstances and the thoughts we have about them.

How the brain becomes a prediction machine.

Why familiar thoughts often feel like facts.

How repeated thoughts become beliefs.

The coaching model that transformed Lynette’s life.

A real-life example of how one thought can lead to completely different outcomes.

How to stop reacting to life and begin creating it intentionally.

Why recovery is about changing identity, not just behaviour.

🌱 Reflection Questions
Take a few quiet moments this week to reflect on these questions:

What thoughts have been eclipsing my light?

Which thought do I keep rehearsing that no longer serves me?

What result do I want to create in my life?

Who am I becoming?

What new thought could I begin practising today?

💛 Remember…
An eclipse never destroys the sun.

It simply hides it for a while.

Your light has never gone out.

Old stories, old beliefs, and old predictions may have hidden it—but they don’t define who you are.

As Sutherland’s beautiful closing song reminds us:

Remember.

Remember your strength.

Remember your light.

Remember who you’ve always been beneath the stories.

🤝 Let’s Connect
I’d love to hear what resonated with you from this episode.

You can email me at:

📧 lynette@llrcoaching.com

Or come and join us inside the Tribe Sober community, where together we’re learning not only how to live alcohol-free, but how to create lives we genuinely love.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need this message today.

Until next time…

Keep noticing your thoughts. Keep protecting your light. And remember… your light has been there all along.

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!

This week my guest is tribe member Clive Vanderwagen.  Clive is a business and leadership coach who is also a wine expert!  

In this Episode

Clive’s father offered him a taste of wine at quite an early age in an effort to make it “less exciting” but looking back Clive feels this was a bit naïve and if he was ever a parent he would probably share with his kids that he had struggled with alcohol himself and that it should be treated with caution.

Educating our kids about alcohol is SO tricky but one thing is for sure – it’s easier to do it if we don’t drink – it’s no good saying one thing and then modelling another as we open our nightly bottle of wine!

Like many of us Clive felt invincible when he was younger and the fact that he became dependent on alcohol took him by surpise. Alcohol dependency tends to sneak up on us over the years and its only when we try to cut down or give up that we realise we have a problem!

That’s why regular breaks are so important – if you want to try 21 alcohol free days with online, community and audio support then just sign up for Accelerate

I could really identify with Clive when he said he went to AA to see everyone chain smoking and talking about their rock bottoms and just didn’t feel he fitted in! He just didn’t feel like an alcoholic because he wasn’t drinking in the morning, crashing cars, losing jobs etc

The thing is we don’t have to wait until we hit “rock bottom” before we make a change

Like most of us Clive tried “moderation” and we agreed that our “drinking neural pathway” will always be there so once you’ve crossed a line with your drinking moderation is no longer an option.

Clive talked about being triggered by a sunny day and the thought of drinking rose – he has a sensible approach to his triggers – he just recognizes them, gets a bit curious about them and then lets them pass without acting on them

One way of dealing with those triggers is to create another ritual to replace it – for example if Clive started enjoying a glass on AF bubbly everytime he sat drinking in the sunshine then his subconscious would gradually create a new and less harmful trigger.

Clive’s Madonna Story was a classic example of how we expect alcohol to enhance our experiences – in Clive’s case he ended up almost blacking out and missing most of a concert he’d been looking forward to for months!

Clive has made the joyful discovery that “Clive doesn’t need alcohol to be Clive” – he can still be the life and soul of the party when stone cold sober!

11 months into his sobriety Clive feels he's regained control of his life and reduced his anxiety -he feels strong and is proud to be alcohol

Clive ended our interview by reading his stunning Goodbye to Alcohol letter which he found a powerful and cathartic experience 

Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership

More info

Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE


To access our website click HERE


If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com


If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com   

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Thank you for listening! 

Till Next Week

Janet x

Episode Title : Sakili – Life is Beautiful

Episode Description

Sakili is a beautiful Creole expression that means, “It’s going to be okay,” or simply, “Life is beautiful.”

In this heartfelt episode, Lynette explores what it really means to participate in your own rescue. Recovery isn’t simply about giving up alcohol—it’s about reclaiming your life, expanding your world, and reconnecting with the joy that has always been available beneath the numbness.

Drawing on a powerful encounter with four magnificent sperm whales in the Indian Ocean, Lynette reflects on how addiction slowly shrinks our comfort zone until life itself becomes small. True recovery begins when we stop waiting for life to change and begin courageously participating in it.

In this episode you’ll discover:

Why recovery is about so much more than stopping drinking.

How addiction gradually shrinks your world—and how to begin expanding it again.

The difference between understanding your past and participating in your future.

Why thoughts alone don’t change the brain—behaviours do.

A fresh perspective on the Hero’s Journey, and why sometimes the dragon has to slay the old identity before a new life can emerge.

How coming home to your body reconnects you with your joy, vitality, and life force.

If you’ve relapsed, feel discouraged, or are wondering whether life without alcohol can ever feel joyful, this episode is a gentle reminder that healing isn’t about perfection.

It’s about choosing one courageous step.

One new behaviour.

One breath at a time.

Sakili.

Life is beautiful.

 

Quote from this Episode

“Every time you choose life over numbness, every time you participate in your own rescue, your world expands.”

 

Resources

If this episode resonated with you and you’d like support on your own alcohol-free journey, you can connect with Lynette through:

Website: https://www.tribesober.com/

Path to Purpose Community: https://www.tribesober.com/path-to-purpose/

Email: lynette@llrcoaching.com

Music

Intro & Outro Music:
“Life is Beautiful” by The K Club featuring Brittany Rogers.

Thank you for listening.

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the Tribe Sober Podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need the reminder that recovery is not about losing your life—it’s about finding it.

Samantha Ancy is a coach, writer and wellness educator who helps people break free from diet culture and understand what's really driving their cravings. Her work combines trauma awareness, gut health and nervous system regulation to explain why so many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits.

What I loved about this conversation is how many parallels there are between food addiction and alcohol addiction. We talk about why willpower isn't enough, how ultra-processed foods hijack our dopamine pathways, why your gut microbiome has such a powerful influence over cravings, and how healing the nervous system can help us make lasting changes.

If you've ever blamed yourself for lacking discipline, or wondered why your cravings seem to have a mind of their own, then this episode will give you a completely different perspective.

Episode Summary
In this episode, Samantha explains why cravings are rarely a sign of weakness and are often driven by biology, trauma and the modern food environment rather than a lack of willpower.

We discuss the remarkable similarities between alcohol addiction and food addiction, exploring how both activate the brain's reward system and why changing our mindset is far more effective than relying on self-control alone.

Samantha shares practical advice on managing sugar cravings after quitting alcohol, explains the importance of gut health and the microbiome, and introduces the concept of interoception—learning to listen to the body's signals rather than reacting automatically to cravings.

We also explore the hidden impact of ultra-processed foods, the role of fibre in balancing blood sugar, and why nourishing ourselves well is one of the foundations of sustainable recovery.

If you're building an alcohol-free lifestyle and want to understand the powerful connection between nutrition, the nervous system and long-term wellbeing, this episode is packed with practical insights that will help you on your journey.

If you'd like to learn more then you can order Sam's book on Amazon - it's called the Bio Hijack

Learn more about Sam by going to https://linktr.ee/SamanthaAncy

If you enjoyed this conversation, please subscribe to the Tribe Sober podcast, leave us a review and share the episode with someone who might benefit.

As always, if you'd like support with your own alcohol-free journey, visit tribesober.com to find out more about our community, courses and coaching.