Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

This weeks guest is… Tribe Sober Coach Darren

Darren came to our Masterclass a few years ago…and hasn’t had a drink since!

In this episode:-

Darren started drinking at the age of 13

His drinking escalated during university years, influenced by the heavy drinking culture which is prevalent in Northern Ireland

Darrens drinking began to impact his life:-  
Struggled to maintain some of his responsibilities like paying rent. 
He experienced severe blackouts and embarrassing incidents at social events.  
He damaged relationships as a result of his drinking

Darren’s Turning Point was a wedding which led to a realization about the damage he was doing to his relationships

His Partner’s comment about him having an issue with alcohol made him realise he had to make a choice

So he decided to quit

Even though he’d been a heavy drinker for a couple of decades he was able to quit by attending a 3-hour Tribe Sober Masterclass

He also listened to podcasts, read the quitlit and connected with our community via the whatsapp groups and Zoom meetings

Darren got curious about underlying reasons for his drinking and began addressing his self-esteem issues.

He realised that alcohol was adding nothing but trouble to his life…and that without it he was experiencing many benefits 
He gained clarity, self-compassion, and a renewed sense of identity. 
His relationships improved, especially with his partner, who expressed pride and renewed love.  
Darren felt empowered and inspired to help others on their sobriety journey so he trained as a Coach

He gave us a nice analogy about recovery being similar to an athlete healing from an injury: a temporary phase followed by ongoing management.

His website is called "www.pauserecovery.com" and his email address is darren@pauserecovery.com

Darrens Advice for Others wanting to quit drinking:   
start small,  listen to podcasts and explore the QuitLit.
get curious and reframe sobriety as freedom, not deprivation
join Tribe Sober!

More Info

Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.

To access our website, click HERE.

If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.

If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.

 

Episode Sponsor

This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today
Read more about our program and subscribe here

Bootcamp on Demand

         To kickstart your alcohol free life check out our Bootcamp on Demand here

 

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Show Notes
Why You Keep Going Back (Even When You Desperately Want Sobriety)
Why is it that we can desperately want sobriety… and still find ourselves reaching for the very thing we promised we’d leave behind?

In this episode, Lynette le Roux explores one of the most misunderstood aspects of recovery. Drawing on neuroscience, Positive Intelligence, and years of coaching experience, she explains why relapse is rarely about a lack of willpower—and much more often about a nervous system that has learned alcohol is its fastest route to relief.

This episode explores:

Why knowing isn’t enough to create lasting change.

The difference between the brain’s wanting system and getting system.

How “threshold addiction” keeps us feeling as though we’re changing before we’ve taken action.

Why repeated behaviours become deeply wired through myelin.

How GABA and glutamate influence stress, cravings, and emotional regulation.

Why so many people binge after days of “being good.”

The hidden “alarm” beneath drinking—and why understanding it changes everything.

How small, repeated actions begin rewiring the brain and creating lasting freedom.

Reflection Questions

What alarm might your nervous system be trying to silence?

Where have you been standing in the doorway of change rather than walking through it?

What is one small physical action you can take today that teaches your body there is another way?

Connect with Lynette
If this episode resonated with you and you’d like to explore what’s driving the drinking beneath the drinking, Lynette would love to support you.

🌿 Email: lynette@llrcoaching.com

Music
“Remember” by Sutherland 🎵

Thank you for listening to the Tribe Sober Podcast. If you found this episode helpful, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear this message today.

In this inspiring episode of the Tribe Sober podcast, Janet talks to Tribe member and Ambassador Beth as she celebrates her first full year alcohol-free.

Beth had known for many years that alcohol was holding her back. She tried AA, medication, self-help books and numerous attempts at moderation, but nothing lasted. Then she discovered Tribe Sober and realised that it wasn’t too late to change -and that she didn’t have to do it alone.

Beth speaks honestly about the difficult early months of sobriety, when her body and brain were recovering and her emotions felt overwhelming. She explains how trusting the process, connecting with the community and listening to others who had walked the same path helped her keep going.

Gradually, the benefits began to emerge: peaceful mornings, mental clarity, renewed confidence, more energy and an almost childlike excitement about life.

Beth’s decision also had a remarkable ripple effect. Her husband chose to stop drinking a month later and subsequently lost three and a half stone. His previously high blood pressure returned to a healthy level, allowing his doctor to take him off medication.

Now a Tribe Sober Ambassador, Beth is passionate about helping others discover the freedom she has found. She also shares a moving story about a caged eagle that had forgotten it was born to fly - a powerful metaphor for the way alcohol confines us and sobriety sets us free.

In this episode, we discuss:

Why Beth’s previous attempts to stop drinking didn’t last

The importance of getting off the fence and making a commitment

Why the first six months can feel so challenging

Trusting the recovery process through the difficult days

How connection and community support lasting change

The return of peace, clarity, energy and self-belief

The positive effect Beth’s sobriety had on her husband

Why helping others strengthens our own sobriety

Beth’s hopes and creative ambitions for her second alcohol-free year

Why we must “choose the hard that leads to freedom”

Beth’s message to anyone who is still sitting on the fence is simple:

“Seize the moment. Decide that this is your time for recovery and sobriety. You were created to be free.”

If you’re ready to change your relationship with alcohol, visit www.tribesober.com to learn more about our community, programmes and support.

Show Notes – Thinking Is Best Used as a Power Tool
🎙️ Tribe Sober Podcast

🎵 Intro and Outro Song: Remember – Sutherland

🦋 Episode Summary
What if one of the greatest sources of our suffering isn’t our circumstances—but our relationship with our thinking?

Inspired by a powerful insight from neuropsychologist Dr Julia DiGangi, Lynette explores why thinking is best used as a power tool: something to be picked up intentionally, used wisely, and then put down.

Drawing on neuroscience, recovery, and lived experience, this episode explains why our brains are prediction machines, why familiar thoughts can feel like facts, and how emotional freedom begins when we stop treating every thought as an instruction.

Recovery isn’t about controlling every thought.

It’s about changing our relationship with thinking itself.

✨ In This Episode

Why thinking is a powerful tool—but a poor master.

How the brain creates predictions from familiar patterns.

The difference between a thought and a fact.

Why cravings often arise from well-rehearsed neural pathways rather than genuine need.

How becoming a “detective” of your thinking creates freedom.

Why awareness gives us choice.

The difference between surviving on autopilot and living intentionally.

How emotional sobriety extends far beyond alcohol.

💡 Memorable Quotes
“Thinking is best used as a power tool.” – Dr Julia DiGangi

“A thought is an invitation, not an instruction.”

“Our brains don’t predict what is true. They predict what is familiar.”

“Recovery isn’t about never thinking about alcohol again. Recovery is about changing our relationship with thinking itself.”

“The most powerful tool in the workshop isn’t the drill. It’s the person holding it.”

🌱 Reflection
Take a few quiet moments this week to reflect on these questions:

Where in my life is my thinking running on autopilot?

Which thoughts do I repeatedly mistake for facts?

What old prediction keeps showing up in my life?

Which thoughts deserve my attention… and which can I simply notice and let pass?

What would change if I remembered that I am the operator—not the tool?

💛 Remember…
Your brain is doing exactly what brains are designed to do.

It generates thoughts.

You don’t need to believe every one of them.

You always have the power to choose which thoughts you nourish, which you question, and which you simply allow to pass by.

That is where freedom begins.

🤝 Let’s Connect
I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode or learn more about your own recovery journey.

📧 Email: lynette@llrcoaching.com

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may be carrying their “power tool” with the switch permanently on.

Until next time…

Stay curious. Stay compassionate. And remember… you are always more powerful than your thoughts.

🎵 Closing Song: Remember – Sutherland

This week I'm talking to Cape Town-based CBT practitioner Emily about the practical ways Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can support behaviour change and an alcohol-free life.

Emily explains how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours become connected over time, and why drinking can become an automatic response to anxiety, stress, celebration or discomfort. Rather than judging these patterns, CBT encourages us to become curious about them — and then start interrupting them.

Emily introduces the simple STOP technique for dealing with an urge:

S — Stop: pause rather than reacting automatically.
T — Take a breath: interrupt the urge and calm the nervous system.
O — Observe: notice the thought or feeling without treating it as a command.
P — Proceed: choose what you want to do next with intention rather than running on autopilot.

We also discussed urge surfing, journalling and thought records, as well as how to challenge limiting beliefs such as “I deserve a drink” or “I can’t relax without alcohol.” Instead of simply replacing these thoughts with positive ones, Emily suggests looking at the whole truth: What is alcohol really giving you — and what happens afterwards?

The conversation also explores why people can become trapped in repeated attempts at moderation, the importance of building alternative coping strategies, and why an alcohol-free life needs to contain things that genuinely provide relaxation, pleasure, connection and purpose.

There’s even a fascinating discussion about dogs and emotional regulation — including Emily’s six-month-old Staffy, Vizoo — and the role that movement, routine, connection and unconditional companionship can play in our wellbeing.

Emily leaves us with a beautifully simple message: you don't have to change everything at once.

If you're feeling stuck in your drinking, becoming curious is already a beginning. Take one small step — write down a thought, speak to someone, try a tool or experiment with a few alcohol-free days. Change doesn't require perfection; it begins with awareness, curiosity and action.

You can find Emily on Instagram - @cbtincpt

You can find Tribe Sober here