Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!

This weeks podcast guest is the lovely Lori Massicot a midlife sobriety coach.

I discovered Lori when I found her podcast – it’s called “to 50 and beyond” – it’s a podcast aimed at women in mid-life where she highlights the beauty of aging and the freedom that comes along with alcohol free life.

She’s on a mission to raise awareness towards the life changing impact of sobriety as we age.  She interviewed me for her podcast and you can hear that conversation on episode 182 of to 50 and beyond.

It’s called “Getting Sober Over 60” and you can access it here

In this Episode

I’m always fascinated by the way peoples drinking evolves over the years – I’m the first person to admit that drinking can be a lot of fun – until it’s not – until you become dependent - check out our podcast on how we go from "liking to wanting to needing" 

Let’s remember that 20% of social drinkers WILL become dependent over the years – if we are in that 20% then that doesn’t make us bad people – or weak people – or diseased people. It just makes us people who have become addicted to an addictive drug!  People who will have to do a bit of work to change their habits – and that’s where people like myself and Lori come in – we’ve been where you are and we can help you make the change. 

As you heard Lori did the fun bit in her teens and 20’s – partying as a teenager and then working in real estate, earning good money and drinking wine with friends and colleagues.

Then it was the mommyjuice phase – in here 30’s Lori felt depressed, put on weight and found her high pressure job all a bit much. She was using wine at home to cope with her stress and felt trapped in a vicious cycle.

She refers to her early 40’s as the “dark years, she lost her mom and could get through two bottles of wine at a time. She had a wake up call when a family member asked her if she was an alcoholic.  That’s when she realised that alcohol had become the centre of everything in her life.

Of course like many of us she tried “the rules” (drinking only on certain days, drinking red rather than white etc etc) which of course didn’t work.

Of course she also tried to “moderate” but of course that didn’t work either - in fact we agreed that for many of us its only when we try to cut down that we realise the extent of our problem.  We realise that we have crossed a line with our drinking and it’s going to take more than a bit of willpower to make a change.

So if you are busy trying to “moderate” and using rules to control your drinking please save yourself a lot of heartache and take a complete break – no need to use the F (forever word) – just take a break

“Playing the Movie Forward” is a very popular tool in our community.  Lori found herself “playing the movie forward 20 years” and was  horrified at what she saw.  She knew her drinking would escalate over the years and decided that she was done.  She poured her Chardonnay down the sink and got started on her life changing journey to sobriety.

Lori used journaling as her key tool –there is so much evidence of the value of keeping a journal – and it helps us so much when we are on this path. We can use it to process our emotions, note our triggers and track our journey. 

We can read back to the early days and see how much easier its getting and realise how many benefits we are experiencing. And of course the more benefits we do experience the less likely we will be inclined to return to Day 1!

Exercise was another key tool for Lori and she educated herself about the best ways to strengthen her body in midlife.

So journaling, exercise and playing the movie forward are all great tools which will help us to quit drinking. We all need to create a personal toolkit and we help you with that at Tribe Sober workshops.  

Sobriety has given Lori freedom and peace. When she feels anxious she now understands how to self soothe without alcohol.

I loved the way she said that in early sobriety we have to protect ourselves and build ourselves up so that we can learn to cope.

Then we can go on to learn how to actually thrive our alcohol free lives. That’s exactly what we help our members to do at Tribe Sober with program – get more info and sign up here

We agreed that ditching the booze gives us a feeling of power - we are doing something that the majority of the population would not even consider - Sobriety is a Superpower!

Times are changing and the sober curious movement is helping that. People are getting “sober curious” and wondering what their life would look like without it. 

Loris podcast is called "to 50 and beyond" and her website is here: lorimassicot.com. Lori coaches women on health, wellness and sobriety and you can contact her via her website and she’s also on Instagram.

More info

Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up here

To access our website click HERE

If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com

If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com

    

 Help us to spread the word!

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We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.

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Thank you for listening! 

Till Next Week

Janet x

PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)

1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.

2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.

3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).

4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.

5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

The Sobriety Experiment: Stop Looking for the Missing Piece

Episode Summary

Have you ever wondered why, even after months or years of sobriety, a part of you still remembers alcohol fondly?

Does that mean you’re destined to drink again?

Or could it simply be that your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do?

In this episode, Lynette explores a thoughtful question from a Tribe Sober listener who has spent years learning about recovery, trying different approaches, and wondering whether there is still a “deep-rooted belief” keeping her stuck.

Together we’ll explore a different perspective.

Rather than endlessly searching for the missing piece, perhaps recovery invites us into something much more exciting: becoming curious enough to discover who we are without alcohol.

Drawing on neuroscience, Brooke Castillo’s teaching on the Scientific Method, and Lynette’s own experience of leaving South Africa to build a new life in Mauritius, this episode is an invitation to stop waiting for certainty and begin experimenting with the life you truly want to create.

In this episode we explore:

Why your brain continues to predict alcohol long after you’ve stopped drinking.

The difference between memory, prediction and genuine desire.

Why enjoying memories of alcohol doesn’t mean you should return to it.

Brooke Castillo’s Scientific Method as a framework for lasting recovery.

The importance of making your own “best guess” rather than waiting for the perfect answer.

How curiosity creates lasting change.

Why sobriety is about building a life that becomes bigger than alcohol.

What Lynette’s move from South Africa to Mauritius taught her about leaving something you love in order to step into something even more aligned.

Key Takeaways

Your brain predicts your past—it doesn’t determine your future.

Research and education are important, but transformation happens when you begin experimenting with your own life.

You don’t have to hate alcohol to decide you’re finished with it.

Sometimes we leave something we love because we’re saying yes to something we love even more.

Sobriety isn’t about certainty.

It’s about curiosity.

Reflection Questions

What if there isn’t another hidden belief to uncover?

What if you’ve already gathered enough information?

What experiment could you try this week?

What kind of life are you creating that is so meaningful, so expansive and so deeply yours that alcohol gradually becomes less interesting?

If you stopped asking, “Why am I like this?” what new possibilities might open up when you ask, “Who am I becoming?”

Resources Mentioned

Recovery Rewired Podcast Series

Path to Purpose Membership

Positive Intelligence® (PQ)

Brooke Castillo’s teaching on the Scientific Method

Neuroscience of prediction and habit formation

Ready for the Next Step?

If this episode resonated with you, and you’d like support creating a life where alcohol is no longer at the centre, Lynette would love to work with you.

Whether through one-to-one coaching or the monthly Path to Purpose membership, you’ll explore your brain, your nervous system, your identity and the practical tools that help you create lasting freedom.

Connect with Lynette by emailing her lynette@llrcoaching.com

 

If you enjoyed this episode…

Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who may need to hear this message today.

Every review helps us reach more people looking for freedom from alcohol.

 

Music

Intro and outro music kindly supplied by Sutherland.

Thank you for listening, and remember:

Sobriety isn’t about becoming certain you’ve left the right thing behind; it’s about becoming curious enough to discover the life waiting in front of you.

This week Janet talks to Tribe Sober member Lynn Griffith from Durango, Colorado, who shares her powerful journey from decades of drinking to discovering the freedom of an alcohol-free life.

Lynn first began worrying about her drinking back in 1999, yet it took many years, several attempts at sobriety, and countless moderation strategies before she finally found lasting freedom. In this honest conversation, she reflects on the exhaustion of trying to control alcohol, the impact on her health, confidence and creativity, and why mindset change has been the key to making sobriety stick.

The episode concludes with Lynn reading her beautifully written "Goodbye Alcohol" letter—a heartfelt farewell to a substance that stole decades of precious time and energy.

In this episode:

Why Lynn knew she had a drinking problem as far back as 1999

The moderation tricks that never worked

How a health scare became a turning point

The books and podcasts that helped shift her thinking

Why community support is essential for lasting sobriety

The surprising role of alcohol-free drinks in her recovery

The connection between drinking, depression and cognitive decline

How alcohol robbed her of confidence, creativity and vitality

Why it's never too late to reclaim your health and happiness

The importance of taking recovery one day at a time

Finding your tribe and building meaningful sober connections

Memorable Quotes

"I know how I felt drinking and I know how I feel not drinking, and there's just no comparison."

"I wish someone had told me that it's so much easier just to quit than spend a lifetime trying to moderate."

"I don't want to be an old lady drunk."

"The poisonous effects of every previous night confiscated my brain cells, robbed me of my confidence, tamped down my spirit and crushed my creativity."

Lynn's Top Tip
"Just don't drink."

It sounds simple, but as Lynn explains, recovery begins one day at a time. Focus on the one thing that matters most in early sobriety and allow everything else to follow.

About Tribe Sober
At Tribe Sober we help people discover that an alcohol-free life doesn't have to be boring, lonely or difficult. Through community, connection, coaching and education, we support our members to create a life they no longer want to escape from.

Interested in taking a break from alcohol?
Join our next 3-Day Reset taking place 1–3 July.

During the Reset you'll discover:

Why alcohol affects us differently as we get older

The neuroscience behind cravings

How to navigate social situations alcohol-free

Practical tools to make sobriety stick

How to create an alcohol-free lifestyle you genuinely enjoy

Find out more at:

Tribe Sober

Subscribe & Review
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who might benefit from hearing Lynn's inspiring story. Every conversation helps break the stigma around alcohol and shows others that change is possible at any age.

Recovery Rewired: Why Knowing Better Isn’t Enough
Episode 3: Recovery Is Repetition
Creating From the Future Instead of the Past
This week we conclude our three-part Recovery Rewired series with perhaps the most important question of all:

If I understand my patterns and I can see what’s happening, how do I actually change?

The answer is surprisingly simple:

Recovery is repetition.

Not perfection.
Not willpower.
Not motivation.

Repetition.

In this episode, Lynette explores how the brain rewires itself through small repeated actions, and why lasting sobriety is built one choice, one breath, one pause, and one day at a time.

Following the continuing story of “May,” we discover that awareness alone isn’t enough. Real transformation begins when we consistently practice new responses to old triggers.

Through neuroscience, practical recovery tools, and real-life examples, Lynette explains how confidence is built through evidence, how the brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) shapes what we notice, and why the tiny decisions we repeat each day ultimately create our future.

In This Episode

Why recovery is a practice, not a single decision

The difference between understanding a pattern and rewiring a pattern

How neuroplasticity changes the brain through repetition

What the Reticular Activating System (RAS) is and why it matters in recovery

Why confidence comes after action, not before it

How urge surfing teaches the brain that cravings are survivable

What it means to change a habit by 10%

Why community, accountability, and connection accelerate recovery

How small daily actions create a new identity

May’s Recovery Journey
When May joined Tribe Sober, she wasn’t thinking about ninety days sober.

She wasn’t trying to figure out how she would stay sober forever.

She was focused on the next craving.
The next Friday.
The next difficult moment.

Instead of trying to change everything overnight, May began taking the next best step.

She joined Zoom meetings.
She connected with others in recovery.
She posted in the WhatsApp group.
She learned urge surfing.
She experimented with breathwork.
She listened to podcasts while walking.
She reached out instead of isolating.

Most importantly, she stopped trying to win forever and focused on one decision at a time.

Today, May is ninety days sober.

Not because of one dramatic breakthrough.

But because of hundreds of tiny choices repeated over time.

Key Takeaways

Recovery is not about becoming someone different; it’s about becoming who you were always capable of being.

The brain changes through repetition, not information.

Confidence grows from evidence, not positive thinking.

Every urge survived becomes proof that you can trust yourself.

The brain pays attention to what you repeatedly focus on.

Small changes repeated consistently create lasting transformation.

Community provides new evidence that change is possible.

Memorable Quotes from this Episode
“The brain changes because you repeatedly practice something new.”

“Confidence is not created through positive thinking. Confidence is created through evidence.”

“An urge is not an emergency.”

“Where attention goes, wiring grows.”

“Recovery isn’t one big decision. Recovery is thousands of small decisions repeated long enough that the brain starts predicting a different future.”

“The brain predicts from the past. Recovery asks us to create from the future.”

Reflection for the Week
Choose one thing.

Just one.

One thought.
One habit.
One reaction.
One daily ritual.

And change it by 10%.

Not dramatically.

Not perfectly.

Just intentionally.

Ask yourself:

What is one small interruption I can make to an old pattern?

What is one piece of evidence I can create today?

What is the next best step available to me right now?

Remember:

You don’t need to figure out forever.

You only need to take the next step.

Recovery Rewired Series Recap
Episode 1: Why the Brain Chooses Alcohol
The brain predicts from the past.

Episode 2: The Theatre of Surprise
We stop pretending we don’t see the pattern.

Episode 3: Recovery Is Repetition
We consciously create a new future.

If You Enjoyed This Series
If you’ve enjoyed the Recovery Rewired series, please leave us a rating and review. It helps more people discover the Tribe Sober Podcast and supports our mission of helping people create a life they no longer need to escape from.

And if you’re ready to take the next step in your own recovery journey, we’d love to support you.

Visit:
www.tribesober.com

Or email Lynette directly:
lynette@llrcoaching.com

Music Credit
Intro and outro music:
“Remember” by Sutherland

Recovery Rewired:  Why Knowing Better is not Enough

Episode 2:  The Theatre of Surprise

Why we keep repeating what we already know

In this second episode of the Recovery Rewired series, Lynette explores one of the most powerful concepts in recovery, emotional growth, and self-awareness: The Theatre of Surprise.

How often have you found yourself saying:

“I can’t believe I drank again.”

“I can’t believe they did that.”

“I can’t believe I’m still struggling with this.”

“I can’t believe this keeps happening.”

But what if the problem isn’t the pattern?

What if the problem is pretending we’re surprised by a pattern we’ve seen many times before?

Drawing on the teachings of neuro-psychologist Dr Julia DiGangi, Lynette explores how the brain’s role as a pattern detector can keep us trapped in cycles of frustration, disappointment, and resistance to reality.

Through the continuing story of “May,” we discover how recognising familiar patterns is not a sign of failure—it’s the beginning of freedom.

Because recovery isn’t about becoming someone new.

It’s about becoming honest enough to see what is already true.

In This Episode

What Dr. Julia DiGangi means by “The Theatre of Surprise”

Why the brain is constantly looking for familiar patterns

The difference between surprise and resistance

How we create suffering when we argue with reality

Why cravings, triggers, and emotional reactions are often predictable

The role of emotional adulthood in lasting recovery

How accepting reality creates the space for change

Why honesty is the foundation of personal power

Key Takeaways

The brain is a pattern detector—it notices repetition and predicts what comes next.

Many of the things we say we’re surprised by are actually familiar patterns.

Resistance often disguises itself as surprise.

Emotional growth begins when we stop arguing with reality.

The craving is not the problem; our resistance to the craving is often what creates suffering.

Honesty is not punishment—it is freedom.

We don’t become free when the pattern disappears; we become free when we stop pretending we can’t see it.

Reflection for the Week
Take a few moments to reflect on the following questions:

Where am I pretending to be surprised when it’s really no surprise at all?

What pattern have I been seeing for months—or even years?

What truth have I been resisting?

What disappointment, grief, or longing might be sitting underneath my frustration?

And perhaps most importantly:

What changes when I stop saying,
“I can’t believe this is happening,”

and start saying,

“Ah, there it is again.”

Memorable Quotes from this Episode
“The Theatre of Surprise is when we pretend we don’t know what we already know.”

“The pattern isn’t the problem. Pretending we’re surprised by it keeps us stuck.”

“The moment we stop fighting reality, we gain the power to work with it.”

“Honesty is not punishment. Honesty is freedom.”

“We don’t become free when the pattern disappears. We become free when we stop pretending we can’t see it.”

Coming Next Week
Recovery Rewired – Episode 3

Recovery Is Repetition
In the final episode of the series, Lynette explores how real change happens.

Not through willpower.
Not through motivation.
Not through perfection.

But through repetition.

Learn how the brain builds new pathways, how confidence grows through evidence, and how sobriety becomes stronger one small choice at a time.

If You Enjoyed This Episode
If you found this episode helpful, please take a moment to leave us a rating and review. It helps more people discover the Tribe Sober Podcast and supports our mission of helping people create a life they no longer need to escape from.

And if you’re ready to take the next step in your own recovery journey, we’d love to support you.

Visit:
www.tribesober.com

Or email Lynette directly:
lynette@llrcoaching.com

Music Credit
Intro and outro music:
“Remember” by Sutherland