What does it mean to raise boys in a world where masculinity feels impossible to get right? This week on No One Told Us, Rachael is joined by author and cultural critic Ruth Whippman to talk about her powerful new book, BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity.
We’re digging deep into the unspoken challenges of parenting boys today—gendered expectations that begin before birth, the emotional isolation of boys in our culture, and the ways that patriarchy harms everyone, not just women. Ruth brings a compassionate, sharp, and often funny lens to topics like toxic masculinity, feminism, screen time, school struggles, and why our young boys are struggling so much right now.
Inside this episode…..
Ruth’s own experience raising 3 boys as a feminist
Unhelpful stereotypes like “boys will be boys” and how they harm our children
Ruth’s opinion on Netflix’s show "Adolescence" and its portrayal of modern boyhood
Why today’s world is a “perfect storm” for young boys and men to be radicalized
How do we hold young men accountable without sending them into shame and shutdown?
How patriarchy harms both men and women, and Ruth’s recommendations for both #boymoms and #boydads
And what can we do—today—as parents, to change the story for our little boys?
Plus so much more!
This episode is for anyone raising boys, loving boys, or trying to understand them in a culture that so often gets masculinity wrong. 💙
Mentioned in this episode:
Ruth’s Book: BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity
Ruth’s Substack: I Blame Society
If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️
✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨
Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast.
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51:29
Rewind: We Have Good Reason to Be Angry with Yara Heary
Did you feel totally unprepared for just how angry you might feel after becoming a mom? You’re not alone. In this episode, Rachael sits down with psychologist Yara Heary to unpack why anger shows up so often in early motherhood and why it’s not something to feel ashamed of.
Together, they explore the identity shifts that happen postpartum, the strain on relationships, and the nervous system challenges that can leave us feeling triggered. Yara offers compassionate, practical tools to understand your anger, support yourself before it boils over, and move through motherhood with more ease and self-compassion.
Inside this episode:
Why anger is a normal and valid part of postpartum life
How shifting identities and relationship changes fuel resentment
The role of expectations in couples after a baby
Tools to support your nervous system before anger escalates
What to do when you feel triggered by your kids or partner
Practicing self-compassion and connecting with your inner child
How to assume the best of our children and others around us
Mentioned in this episode:
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Follow Yara on Instagram
Life After Birth with Yara Podcast
If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️
✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨
Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast.
Instagram | Tiktok | Website
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Rewind: How to Fight for Your Rights at Work with Daphne Delvaux
In this episode, Rachael sits down with attorney and women’s rights advocate Daphne Delvaux to uncover what every working parent needs to know about their rights in the workplace. Known as The Mamattorney, Daphne has built her career fighting for fair treatment, equal pay, and family-friendly policies and she’s here to share the essential tools you need to advocate for yourself at work.
Together, they dive into pregnancy and postpartum protections, how to navigate discrimination, and why knowing your rights is one of the most empowering things you can do as a parent.
Inside this episode:
What to line up before and after announcing your pregnancy at work
How and when to share your pregnancy with your employer
Your legal rights around maternity leave, partner’s leave, and pumping accommodations
How to handle discrimination, unfair treatment, or wrongful termination
Negotiating family-friendly policies for better work-life balance
Tips for easing the transition back after maternity leave
Why knowledge is power when it comes to planning your family and your career
And so much more!
Mentioned in this episode:
The Mamattorney Academy membership
Employment Rights Guide
If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️
✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨
Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast.
Instagram | Tiktok | Website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Rewind: Fostering a Secure Attachment with Michelle Charriere
Rachael chats with birth-to-five mental health specialist Michelle Charriere about what it really takes to build (and repair) a secure attachment with your child. They cover the four attachment styles, why repair matters more than perfection, and how to choose childcare that supports connection...plus real talk on daycare and sleep training without the internet drama.
And because they couldn’t resist, they end with a little Bravo TV fun, including Michelle’s pick for the best Housewives franchise to start with and a round of “F**k, Marry, Kill” (Bravo edition).
Inside this episode:
The four attachment styles (and why secure is the goal)
How repair builds trust after ruptures
Choosing childcare that supports emotional connection
Thoughts on daycare and sleep training
What to look for in a caregiver
Bravo TV picks and guilty pleasures
Mentioned in this episode:
@babiesandbrains
Parenting Through Attachment Course
Childcare & Preschool Guide
New Sibling Guide
If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️
✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨
Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast.
Instagram | Tiktok | Website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Rewind: Maintaining Intimacy After Kids with Vanessa & Xander Marin
Maintaining Intimacy After Kids with Vanessa & Xander Marin
Parenthood changes a lot, including your relationship. In this episode, Rachael sits down with New York Times bestselling authors (and real-life couple) Vanessa and Xander Marin to talk about keeping intimacy alive after kids, the infamous “roommate phase,” and why honest conversations about sex matter more than you think.
Vanessa, a sex therapist with 20 years of experience, and Xander, her “regular dude” husband, share how they’ve navigated their own ups and downs while helping millions of couples do the same. They dive into the five conversations from their book Sex Talks, why emotional connection is the real foreplay, and what to do when one partner isn’t feeling ready for intimacy. Plus, they share how couples therapy, online courses, and even their own podcast have helped them, and can help you, build a more connected, playful, and passionate relationship.
Inside this episode:
The inspiration behind Sex Talks and the five key conversations couples need to have
How to break out of the “roommate phase” and reconnect
Tips for navigating mismatched readiness for intimacy
Why emotional connection is just as important as physical intimacy
The benefits of couples therapy (and other resources that work)
How to keep sex and pleasure on the table even when life is hectic
Mentioned in this episode:
Instagram: @vanessaandxander
Vanessa & Xander’s Online Courses
Rediscovering Us: Intimacy and Sex for Parents Course
Pillow Talks Podcast
Sex Talks Book
If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️
✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨
Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast.
Instagram | Tiktok | Website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
No One Told Us the truth about parenthood. WHY?!
Welcome to No One Told Us, the podcast where we uncover the raw, unfiltered truths about parenthood. I'm your host, Rachael Shepard-Ohta, mom of three and founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby. Each week, join me as we dive deep into the joys, challenges, and surprises of raising children with a mix of expert insights, personal anecdotes, and candid conversations.
From navigating postpartum anxiety to mastering the art of making mom friends, and from introducing solids to tackling tantrums, we cover it all. Whether you're a first-time parent or a seasoned pro, this podcast is your go-to resource for honest advice, relatable stories, and plenty of laughs along the way.
Join me as I sit down with experts in their fields, as well as friends, family, celebrities, and influencers, to share their experiences and wisdom on everything from sleepless nights to rocky relationships. No topic is off-limits, and no story goes untold on No One Told Us.
So grab a cup of coffee, pop in your headphones and join the conversation. This is the podcast everyone needed before they had kids- because now that those little ones are here, there's a lot to unpack. So let's pull back the curtain on becoming a first-time mom (or dad!) to share the good, the bad and the ugly. A little education, a little fun, and a whole lot of heart goes into each and every episode of No One Told Us to have you feeling less alone and way more empowered.
Ireland