The Better Man Podcast

Today's guest, Boys Will Be Men author and therapist, Vince Benevento has spent decades of his life helping men battle their own demons and heal their internal environments. 
 
Vince was originally attracted to men's mental health after facing his own share of demons in his 20s. But he never imagined how much he'd need to lean on his decades of experience when his life was uprooted in the face of an unspeakable trauma…
 
One day, out of absolutely nowhere, one of his sons developed an unexpected rash that suddenly turned into life-threatening illness. His son spent 135 days in the hospital. Went through multiple surgeries. And at one point, he had a sub 10% chance of surviving. 
 
Vince and his wife spent every second in that hospital with their son as he fought to survive. And despite being a therapist, an experience as traumatic (and random) as this caused a swelling of big, heavy emotions. 
 
Vince admits that he didn't handle those 135 days in the hospital in the best way. But his son survived. Vince changed as a result. And he gives some pointers on how he would act today if he was thrown into a similar situation, which you'll find instantly applicable to any traumatic event that happens in your life. 
 
Today's show is a masterclass in courageous vulnerability. And you'll learn a lot about how to soothe your own internal environment too. 
 
Listen now. 
 
Here's what Vince and I discuss: 
 
How men can have more meaningful and vulnerable conversations with each other 

The one area I'm personally stuck at in my healing journey (and why so many men get stuck at this point) 

And, of course, Vince shares the story about how he handled his son's life-threatening illness

 
And more, including… 
 
How conventional dialogue between men chokes out your emotions and your ability to connect meaningfully with other guys (5:06) 

How to heal yourself so when your childhood wounds get poked you don't revert back into your old patterns or search for external support (6:13) 

The counterintuitive way the traits you pride yourself on are the very things that box you in an emotional wall (16:22) 

The "Do, Not Be" trap that guys are particularly vulnerable to that causes you to replace your emotional fulfillment with meaningless achievements (16:32) 

Why success blows up so many marriages and relationships fathers have with their kids (17:23) 

How Vince handled one of the most traumatic experiences a parent have (and how he would handle it differently today): his son ended up with a life-threatening illness out of nowhere, spent 135 days in the hospital, and at one point had a sub 10% chance to survive (20:43) 

Why surrendering to deeply traumatic experiences, as wrong as it may sound, gives you the deepest sense of freedom, peace, and relief (39:51) 

 
Guest Bio: 
 
Vince Benevento is the Director and Founder of Causeway Collaborative, leading and providing direct service for all three specialized teams. A licensed professional counselor, he holds a BA in Psychology from Wesleyan University and an MA in School Counseling from Fairfield University.
 
Vince began his career as an in-home therapist for adolescents and families at the Wheeler Clinic in Plainville, Connecticut, a regional behavioral health services provider. From there, he entered the corporate world, where he worked as a professional recruiter and honed his career-counseling skills. With this valuable experience under his belt, Vince transitioned back to individual and community-based counseling as an employment specialist for the Kennedy Center, one of Connecticut's largest and most highly regarded community organizations. At the Kennedy Center, Vince worked to find meaningful jobs for unemployed adults with psychiatric diagnoses and criminal histories. He joined Freudigman & Billings in 2010 as an educational therapist and completed a year-long internship in the Weston High School guidance department, where he initiated and co-led weekly support groups for at-risk-students. In 2012, Vince brought his skills and experiences together to start Causeway Collaborative.
 
Vince's work experience, whether in the corporate world or in counseling, is united by a single purpose: to help students, young professionals, and those who are struggling to plan for the future and to realize their potential.
 
Vince recently published the book, Boys Will Be Men: 8 Lessons for the Lost American Male too. 
 
Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. Buy Vince's book, Boys Will Be Men: 8 Lessons for the Lost American Male on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Boys-Will-Be-Men-American/dp/1959170317 
 
2. Follow Vince on Instagram: @vince_benevento_LPC
 
3. Visit Vince's company, Causeway Collaborative, here: http://www.causewaycollaborative.com/ 
 
4. Or, check out Vince's personal website (for speaking and coaching) here: https://www.sharperformen.com/ 
 
5. Man Flow Yoga Events: We just announced new locations for 2026 in-person events. Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events/ 
 
6. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7

Everyone lives in a world of their own creation through their conditioning, their thought patterns, and their behaviors. The problem is, this route leads to pain because it severs the connection with your true identity. 
 
When you're disconnected from your true identity, and you forget to remember who you are, you'll wake up one day and realize you're living a complete lie. Instead of creating a life that makes you happy and fulfilled, you trade your future for someone else's opinion of you. 
 
Today's guest, retired Navy SEAL Commander Mark Divine, was lucky enough to discover this early in his life thanks to his meditation practice. 
 
His conditioning told him that he was going to business school to join the family business. But a few months after getting his MBA and CPA, Mark decided to give it all up to become a Navy SEAL because his meditation practice created enough stillness that he remembered he was a warrior.  
 
Despite being a "civilian" (who have terribly low success rates of becoming a SEAL - only about 10 to 15% make it), Mark's meditation practice allowed him to reconstruct his identity and become the #1 student in SEAL training. 
 
As Navy SEAL Commander, Mark introduced other SEALs to meditation, yoga, and fully integrating the body, mind, and spirit. Since he's retired, his Navy SEAL training program (called SEALFIT) has had incredible success. 
 
Mark's students who went through his SEALFIT program had a 90% success rate of joining the SEALs (which is even more impressive when you realize the failure rate is between 85-90%). 
 
He's also authored several best-selling books that are designed to help anyone rediscover their true identity. 
 
This conversation won't just open your eyes, but it will be deeply inspiring too. Listen now. 
 
Here's what Mark and I discuss: 
 
How to start meditating and the reason why so many people fail at it 

Why remembering who you truly are helps you stumble on your true identity

How integrating all your training can greatly accelerate your journey to self-awareness 

 
And more, including… 
 
How your mind gets conditioned (by your parents, society, schooling, and more) from the very second you open your eyes in this world (4:14) 

This book can reframe spirituality for you (without any religious overtones) and make it easier for you to tap into "Zen" (8:28) 

How to become still enough to hear your soul's whispers and discover your true calling (12:54) 

The #1 source of angst among men in the world (and the trick Mark used to avoid living a life of quiet desperation) (14:00) 

3 things you must do to break through separation and tune into "Unity Consciousness" that turns the universe into your silent partner (15:35) 

Why the "descriptive-prescriptive fallacy" makes meditation impossible (and a simple mindset shift that makes mediating as simple as riding a bike) (20:27) 

How to change the very nature of what you believe to be true about yourself (32:03) 

The incredible story about how Mark used meditation to change his identity, join the Navy SEALs off the street, and become the #1 student in his SEAL training (37:42)

Why figuring out how to navigate "VUCA" is like becoming Neo in the Matrix (in fact, according to Mark, this is what SEAL training is all about) (40:19) 

How training to be softer, more flexible, and more durable is the ultimate "strength training" for men (54:29) 

 
Guest Bio: 
 
Dr. Mark Divine|PHD is a retired Navy SEAL Commander, New York Times Best-Selling Author, Founder / CEO of SEALFIT and Unbeatable Mind, founder of multiple million-dollar businesses, lifetime Martial Artist, Ashtanga Yoga teacher, and host of the Unbeatable Mind podcast (recently rated #1 health podcast and #30 overall on itunes).
 
The U.S. Navy selected him to create a nationwide leadership and mental-performance program for the SEALs, designed to help elite teams excel under extreme stress.
 
Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. Find Mark's programs, coaching, books, and podcast on his site here: https://markdivine.com/ 
 
2. Man Flow Yoga Events: We just announced new locations for 2026 in-person events. Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events/ 
 
3. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7

There are certain athletic principles that can significantly increase your longevity and your quality of life. And no, you didn't have to grow up playing sports or thinking of yourself like an athlete to adopt these principles. 
 
In fact, adopting an athletic mindset is one of the most important things you can do if you're over 40 years old because it protects you from injuries, increases your strength (which is one of the best predictors of lifespan), and reframes your entire approach to fitness. 
 
That's why I invited Greg Herceg, The Volleyball Strength Coach, onto today's episode. Greg helps adult and recreational volleyball players extend their careers because he's cracked the code for extending physical longevity. 
 
He's an absolute wealth of knowledge when it comes to injury prevention, increasing your fitness longevity (and your overall longevity), and becoming more confident in functional movements especially as you get older. 
 
If you find yourself getting injured too often or you want to do everything in your power to build a body that's injury-proof, listen now. 
 
Here's what Greg and I discuss: 
 
What most middle-aged men are missing from their workouts 

Why isometric exercise (like yoga postures) is the most effective pain relief exercise you can do 

The simple injury prevention formula that keeps you active as you age

Why adopting an athletic mindset is perhaps even more important for non-athletes 

 
And more, including… 
 
How Greg chopped at least five years off his volleyball career by making innocent training mistakes in the gym that most guys make too (9:22) 

The "strength through length" secret for getting stronger without increasing your risk of injury (9:58) 

The 2 completely separate root causes of knee pain (and why both versions require a different recovery protocol) (12:53) 

How isometric holds have a direct pain elimination effect for tendon-specific issues (15:39) 

Why you should almost NEVER use ice on injuries (contrary to popular belief, ice prolongs recovery!) (17:30) 

The subtle way training the spine to move (instead of training the spine to be stable) goes a long way towards increasing your physical longevity (23:52) 

The single fastest way to exponentially increase your risk of injury (28:27) 

How low-intensity athletic movements can delay your death (and why these movements might be more important for non-athletes) (34:07) 

The scientific explanation behind why injuries become more common with age (it has to do with the natural loss of elastin that starts in your 20s… but it doesn't have to be permanent!) (36:38) 

How to prevent the aging process from deteriorating your body by simply playing like a kid (47:37)  




Guest Bio: 
 
Greg Herceg is The Volleyball Strength Coach. He coaches adult and recreational volleyball players to extend their careers by increasing their vertical, improving their performance, and eliminating their pain.
 
Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. Find Greg on Instagram: @the.volleyball.strength.coach
 
2. Man Flow Yoga Events: We just announced new locations for 2026 in-person events. Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events/ 
 
3. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7

What if you wake up one day and despite living up to society's definition of success, you feel empty inside?
 
That's what happened to today's guest Brian Dubow, host of Hit of Happiness and happiness coach. 
 
By all accounts, Brian reached a level of success that most people envy. But he slowly realized that his drive to work hard was a defense mechanism protecting himself from asking the harder questions - like why he wasn't happy. And why he didn't actually care about a job that made his peers envy him. 
 
So, his quarter-life crisis forced him to embark on a journey to rediscover his own happiness, quit his job, and launch Hit of Happiness - a podcast and coaching program that helps others build a life that matters. 
 
If you've been silently wondering why your life hasn't led to the happiness you imagined, this episode is your first step towards building a life that matters. To you. 
 
Here's what Brian and I discuss: 
 
How to undo your subconscious programming that's keeping you stuck in someone else's life 

Why thinking of happiness as an inside job is the fastest way to become happier in your day-to-day life  

The 3 phases of happiness (and why most men are stuck in the first two levels) 

 
And more, including… 
 
The insidious way people will push you to do what they want you to do (and how defining success for yourself prevents you from living another person's dreams) (6:01) 

How to tell if your desire to be busy is a sneaky way to avoid your emotions (this is the case for most men) (6:38) 

What to do when you reach society's definition of happiness but not your own (7:26) 

How inspiration from others means you have a version of them living inside you (9:11) 

The "happiness is an inside job" secret that can triple your happiness without anything changing in your external environment (10:39) 

A potent question (Brian asks himself this every two weeks) that reveals the path to the life you're meant to live (16:42)

Why do so many men feel like they're enough logically but not emotionally? (22:23) 

How to "listen" to what your feelings of being comfortably numb are trying to tell you so you don't live your life on autopilot and full of regrets (30:59) 

The counterintuitive way your internal world creates your external surroundings (not the other way around) (42:08) 

The "mood follows action" mindset shift that sounds simple, but can completely change the trajectory of your happiness (49:34) 

 
Guest Bio: 
 
Brian Dubow is the founder of Hit of Happiness and just another human trying to figure out life's purpose. Founded in March of 2020, his company came out of his desire to make a difference as a response to COVID-19. What started as a blog and coaching business has now grown into a podcast, a thriving community, a corporate consulting company, and a happiness revolution. 
 
Brian is a Certified Happiness Trainer and feels strongly that understanding the science behind happiness is a powerful tool to improve overall wellbeing. By building habits backed by the science of happiness, we can all grow into our happiest and healthiest selves. 
 
Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. Hit of Happiness: If you're struggling with happiness or making your life count, Brian's happiness coaching and podcast can make you feel happier, more fulfilled, and more alive. Learn more here: https://hitofhappiness.com/ 
 
2. Follow Brian on Instagram: @hitofhappiness and feel free to reach out personally to Brian if you have any questions.  
 
3. Man Flow Yoga Events: We just announced new locations for 2026 in-person events. Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events/ 
 
4. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7

Coming out is never easy. Despite the societal progress we've made culturally, there is a large swath of men who would, quite literally, rather be hit by a truck than come out. 
 
This pressure, if you feel it, only compounds with age. Especially if you're also married to a woman and have kids, like today's guest David was.
 
David didn't come out until his late 50s - after a successful career in the U.S. Air Force as Brigadier General, after being married to a beautiful woman, and after having kids.
 
The truth was, he had always wondered and had inklings about his true self. But he buried them and focused on his career and parenthood. 
 
But after his kids moved out, he couldn't wear the three-foot mask over his true self any longer. 
 
Coming out was one of the hardest things he's ever done. 
 
And it completely changed his personality. He went from being an introvert to an extrovert, and he uses his real personality to help other men who are coming out late. 
 
If you've been struggling with whether or not you're gay - or you just want to learn more about what gay men go through so you can be more compassionate and empathetic, listen now.
 
Here's what David and I discuss: 
 
Why it's never actually too "late" to come out (even though it might feel like it) 

Why "letting people in" instead of "coming out" can make it easier

How to better navigate coming out (especially if you're married and have kids) 

 
And more, including… 
 
Why the BEST way to improve your mental health is by moving your physical body (4:40) 

How to better handle coming out later in life (even if you've already married a woman and have had kids like David) (8:16) 

How cultural and subconscious homophobia can delay your coming out (14:30) 

Why letting your loved ones "in" (instead of "coming out") makes these tough conversations easier and less daunting (15:31) 

Dr. Joe Kort's (a sex therapist) "Beach Test" that can help confused men decide if they're gay or not (24:57) 

How finally accepting yourself as gay can alter your entire personality (David lived his life as an introvert until he came out) (26:16) 

The strange way your repressed fears get projected onto others (David first noticed this as the U.S. Air Force Brigadier General - where being gay could get him fired back then) (44:01)

 
Guest Bio: 
 
David Cotton is a certified life transition & personal development life coach, retired U.S. Air Force Brigadier General, and former corporate executive who now dedicates his life to helping others step into their truth and live with intention. After decades of living in alignment with expectations rather than identity, David came out as a gay man later in life — a transformational experience that fuels his passion for guiding others through life's biggest transitions.
 
David specializes in coaching men who are coming out later in life, as well as individuals of all backgrounds seeking clarity, courage, and authenticity in the face of personal change. His coaching practice is rooted in deep empathy, strategic reflection, and a belief that it's never too late to become the person you were always meant to be.
 
He is also the creator and host of Out Late With David, a podcast that amplifies powerful, heartfelt stories of people who have come out later in life — often after years of silence or living in the shadows. Through real conversations and unflinching honesty, David offers listeners hope, insight, and a sense of belonging.
 
Based in Palm Springs, California, David brings warmth, wisdom, and just the right touch of wit to his coaching, his podcast, and every life he touches.
 
Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. David Cotton Coaching: Whether you're transitioning through a tough period in your life (like coming out) or you just want to get more out of your life, David's coaching might be able to help. Learn more here: LINK
 
2. Out Late with David Podcast: While coming out (especially "late") is never easy, hearing other men share their stories helps. That's what Out Late with David is about. Listen to it here:  
 
3. Find more of David's Coming Out Resources: If you want more resources for coming out, check out David's Linktree here: https://linktr.ee/davidacotton 
 
4. Man Flow Yoga Events: On February 28, I'm hosting a Saturday Workshop in Denver, CO. If you want to do yoga with me and get feedback in real-time, get your ticket here: https://shop.manflowyoga.com/collections/in-person-events/products/mfy-workshop-denver-february-2026-02-28 
 
5. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7