The Selfish Woman

What if being a 'good woman' is the very thing keeping you stuck? 
Be nice. Be reasonable. Keep everyone happy. Don't disappoint people. Don't make a scene. And whatever you do, don't be selfish. 
I followed those rules for YEARS. I stayed married for 24 years, raised 3 kids, tried harder, kept the peace and did everything I though a good woman was supposed to do. 
And I was fucking miserable. 
In this episode, I'm breaking down the Good Woman rules so many of us have been following without even realizing it, why leaving a marriage doesn't necessarily free you from them, and the difference between being a Good Woman, a Bad Girl and a Selfish Woman. 
Because you can leave the marriage and still live like you need permission. 
You can stop pleasing your husband and start pleasing your kids, your ex, your parents, your friends or the entire fucking internet instead. 
Different people. Same prison. 
And if you've spent your life trying to do everything 'right' and still find yourself wondering when the hell your life gets to belong to you, this epsiode is for you. 
IN THIS EPISODE:
The invisible rules women learn about being 'good' 
Why self-abandonment can feel like virtue
 How Good Woman programming follows you into divorce and your next chapter 
Why becoming the Bad Girl isn't the same as becoming free 
The difference between rebellion and self-posession 
How to catch yourself obeying rules you never consciously chose 
The questions that changes everything: Who gets to write the rules for your life? 
Being a Selfish Woman isn't about not giving a fuck about anyone else. 
It's about finally refusing to abandon yourself to prove that you're good. 
Your life belongs to you. 
READY TO STOP ABANDONING YOURSELF? 
If you're questioning leaving your marriage, preparing to leave, or navigating divorce and you want me beside you through it, I now offer a small number of six-month private coaching engagements. 
This is the work we do in real life: when you're second-guessing yourself, terrified of making the wrong decision, trying to manage everyone else's feelings, or you know what you need to do and can't seem to make yourself do it. 
Explore Private Work with Valerie

What if burnout isn't evidence that you're doing life wrong? 
For high-achieving women, burnout can come with an extra layer of shame. We think we should be able to handle it. Mange it better. Be more disciplined. Get it together. 
In this episode, I'm joined by Wendy Meadows, author of Sparkle & GRIT, for a conversation about creating a life that holds ambition, meaning, joy, and the inevitable harder seasons too. 
Wendy shares her Sparkle & GRIT framework and we talk about what happens when the balance gets lost, and why women have been conditioned to experience burnout as a personal failure rather than something we can respond to with awareness and empowered choice. 
In this episode: 
The balance between sparkle and grit in a meaningful life 
Why high-achieving women are particularly vulnerable to burnout 
Releasing the guilt and self-blame we attach to burnout 
Wendy's definition of burnout and how it can shift you toward empowered choice 
The Groundhog Day framework for when life feels monotonous 
Bringing more joy into your life in ways that actually work for you 
This is an inspiring conversation with a lovely reminder at its centre: a meaningful life gets to contain ambition and effort, pleasure and play, darkness and light. The whole colour palette. 
About Wendy Meadows 
Wendy is a seasoned family law attorney, former litigator, and certified life coach. She is also a mediator and author of the best-selling book, Sparkle & GRIT: Live a Technicolor Life by Finally Finding Balance, Escaping Montony, and Beating Burnout:  a framework that helps high-achieving women break free from burnout and live on purpose. She blends practical strategies with compassionate mindset work to help them reboot their habits, re-ignite their purpose, and build lives that actually fit. 
Wendy's Website 
Get Wendy's book 
Grab Wendy's FREE Sparkle & GRIT Playbook

You feel the pull. The idea keeps returning. Some part of you knows you're meant for something bigger. 
Then...the other voice arrives. 
Who do you think you are? What if you're not ready? What if everyone realizes you have no idea what you're doing? 
In this episode, I'm joined by award-winning media personality, coach, and podcast host Christine Blosdale for a candid conversation about why imposter syndrome follows so many talented, high-achieving women into the very rooms they've earned the right to occupy. 
We explore how deeply women have been conditioned to doubt themselves, downplay their gifts, and wait until they can do something perfectly before allowing themselves to begin. Christine also shares the perspective shift that can pull you out of imposter syndrome almost immediately. 
In this episode, we talk about: 
Why self-doubt is so deeply embedded in women's conditioning 
Why accomplished women still feel like frauds, even when the evidence says otherwise 
How perfectionism disguises itself as preparation and keeps you from taking action 
The inner pull that tells you there is something bigger you're meant to do 
Why you don't need to know exactly where that pull will lead before following it 
How shifting your attention from yourself to the person you can help quiets imposter syndrome 
Why your quirks, personality, and humanness are part of your power 
What becomes possible when you finally stop hiding and own your spotlight 
 
If you've been circling an idea, waiting to feel qualified, or overthinking everything instead of taking action, this episode is your loving kick in the pants. 
Christine Blosdale is the Expert Authority Coach  - a visibility strategist and personal branding expert who helps entrepreneurs, coaches, authors and thought leaders get seen, trusted, and paid for what they already know. 
Connect with Christine

You can love someone and still outgrow the version of yourself that exists around them. 
And nobody warns you about this part of changing your life. 
We talk about the habits you'll have to change, the risks you'll have to take, the courage it takes to walk away from something familiar. 
We don't talk nearly enough about what happens when the people you love are still connected to the person you used to be. 
This episode is about friendship, growth, and the strange, sometimes painful experience of realizing that a relationship that once fit your life may not fit the life you're building now. 
Because every room has an invisible definition of what's normal. 
What you're allowed to want. What feels possible. What seems too ambitious, too risky, too expensive, or simply not like you. 
And sometimes, all it takes is getting close to one woman who is already doing the thing you thought was impossible. 
She doesn't have to coach you. She doesn't have to give you a ten-step plan. 
Sometimes another woman gives you evidence. 
In this episode, we're talking about: 
What it actually means to outgrow people 
Why the people you love may still be relating to who you used to be 
How the people around you shape what feels normal and possible 
Why outgrowing a room isn't the same as abandoning the people in it 
Why courage, desire and aliveness is contagious 
Powerful questions to audit the spaces you're spending time in 
Why I created The Society and why it's the antidote to being stuck 
This isn't about deciding your old friends aren't 'good enough' anymore 
It's about recognizing that you may need people in your life who have evidence of where you're going, not only memories of where you've been. 
And maybe the question isn't simply, 'Who have I outgrown?' 
Maybe it's, 'Who do I become when I'm around the people in my life?' 
You're invited to The Society's Opening Weekend 
From July 24-26, we're gathering for three live experiences: 
Happy Hour, Coffee Chat, and Sparkle Party. 
Come to one. Come to all three. Opening Weekend is completely free. 
SAVE YOUR SEAT HERE 
Your next chapter may begin with one conversation, one new room, or one woman who makes you realize that the thing you want isn't nearly as impossible as you thought. 
Go find her....or maybe, come find us.

What if the same conditioning that teaches women to abandon themselves in life is also showing up in the bedroom? 
In this fascinating and often hilarious conversation, Valerie sits down with intimacy expert Susan Bratton to explore what happens when women reclaim their desire, their pleasure, and their right to experience the full spectrum of who they are. 
Together, they unpack the impact of cultural conditioning on intimacy, why so many couples struggle to talk openly about sex, and how creating a thriving intimate relationship has less to do with performance and more to do with curiosity, communication, and connection. 
Susan shares surprising insights on everything from libido difference and orgasmic potential to the male loneliness epidemic, erotic play, and why great sex can continue to evolve throughout our lives. 
Whether you're single, partnered, divorced, dating, or simply curious about your own relationship with desire, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on intimacy, pleasure, and what it means to come fully alive. 
In This Episode: 
The hidden impact of cultural conditioning on men and women in the bedroom 
Why living as your full self transforms intimacy 
The intimacy gap many people aren't discussing 
Orgasmic cross-training and expanding your pleasure potential 
Practical ways to get your partner engaged in the conversation 
Why orgasms are the fountain of youth! 
About Susan Bratton 
Susan Bratton is a leading advocate for passionate relationships and lifelong intimacy. She is known for helping people create deeper connection, greater pleasure, and more fulfilling relationships through practical, approachable education about intimacy and sexual wellness. 
Connect with Susan
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