The Selfish Woman

Most people choose a word for the year based on what they want to achieve, acquire, or accomplish. But that's not how transformation works.  In this episode, I'm sharing why your word of the year should be about who you're becoming, not what you want to get. It's a practice in identity, not goals. A call toward the woman you're evolving into. not a to-do list disguised as intention-setting.  I'll walk you through:  Why choosing a word based on outcomes keep you stuck in the same patterns  The difference between a word that motivates and a word that transforms  My own experience choosing 'selfish' as my word in 2020 - what it taught me, how it challenged me, and why it was exactly what I needed  How to choose a word that serves your evolution (not just your ambition)  This isn't about New Year's resolutions or vision boards. It's about claiming who you're becoming and letting that guide everything else.  WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE:  I'm now posting full video episodes on YouTube! If you prefer to warch rather than listen, head over to my channel and subscribe so you don't miss future episodes.  MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  The Selfish Year - available everywhere books are sold, or click here  CONNECT WITH ME:  Substack: The Selfish Gospel weekly essays  Book: The Selfish Year  Instagram  LET'S TALK:  What's your word for 2026? Drop me a message on Instagram or YouTube.  SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:  If you loved this episode, please subscribe and leave a review, on Spotify or Apple. It helps others find the show.  Thanks for listening. Now go choose your word, and let it choose you back. 

2025 is the Year of the Snake. 2026? The Year of the Fire Horse.  If you're familiar about Chinese zodiac symbolism, you know what that means: the Snake sheds what no longer fits. The Fire Horse charges forward with unstoppable momentum.  But here's the thing: you can't ride the Fire Horse into 2026 while still carrying 2025's dead weight.  This episode is about what needs to be shed now, before the year turns.  IN THIS EPISODE, I SHARE:  The symbolism of Snake and Fire Horse years: and what they're asking of us right now.  What a death cycle actually looks like (from someone living it): why you can't 'positive mindset' your way through and what to do instead.  The difference between shedding and suppressing: one creates space for growth, the other just buries what will resurface later.  A December ritual for intentional release: specific steps you can take this month to shed what's keeping you small, stuck, or performing.  Why 'not enough', shame, and old survival strategies have to go: and what becomes possible when you finally release them.  The gift of radical permission: why The Selfish Year is the book to give yourself (or someone you love) this holiday season.  What's coming in 2026: a hint at something I'm creating for women ready to make next year their Selfish Year  IF YOU'RE FEELING:  The tightness of an old identity that doesn't fit anymore  Exhausted by maintaining 'impressive'  Ready to stop carrying what's dead  Curious about what 2026 could look like if you actually chose yourself  ....this episode is for you.  RESOURCES MENTIONED:  Read the full essay: What a Death Cycle Actually Looks Like (from someone living it)  Get the book: The Selfish Year - perfect for gifting yourself and your friends permission this Christmas  Choose your 2026 word: Are you claiming SELFISH as your guiding intention for next year? Let me know!  SOMETHING'S COMING:  I'm gathering women who are ready to make 2026 their Selfish Year. A community....a container...a place where choosing yourself isn't rebellion, it's a homecoming.  I can't share all the details yet, but if you're feeling the pull toward radical selfishness - stay close.  CONNECT WITH VALERIE:  Instagram  Newsletter Work with Valerie  YOUR DECEMBER PRACTICE:  This month, ask yourself every morning:  What am I carrying that's already dead?  What old skin am I ready to shed?  What wants to emerge in 2026?  Then do one small thing - sage, movement, journaling, walking - to physically release it.  SHARE THIS EPISODE:  Know someone who needs permission to shed what's no longer serving them? Send them this episode. Sometimes the most generous thing we can do is name what's true.  RATE & REVIEW:  If this episode resonated please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps other women find The Selfish Woman podcast when they need it most. 

This is a personal episode for me, one that I feel led to share with you, because I know it's going to resonate.  There's a moment in every woman's life when she look at what she's been worshipping - success, motherhood, marriage, being 'nice' - and realizes none of it was built for her freedom. That's the holy sh*t moment. The one where you finally stop trying to earn gold stars for suffering and start knocking over every sacred cow that's been keeping you in a cage.  This is aboout burning down the old rules, setting yourself free from everyone else's opinion of you, reclaiming your wild self, and realizing that sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do...is commit a little heresy.  Take the Reveal Your Mask quiz  Get your copy of The Selfish Year  Inquire about working with me as a private client  Read The Selfish Gospel on Substack  Watch on YouTube 

In this episode I'm joined by Erin Gallagher, author of Hype Women: Breaking Free From Mean Girls, Patriarchy and Systems Silencing You.  Buckle up for a fiery conversation about what it really means to trust yourself after a lifetime of being told you're wrong. We talk about the incredible origin story of her book, and why she's not here to hype all women - especially not the ones still acting as foot soldiers for the patriarchy.  We also go there:  Who are the mean girls in your life?  Why do we keep trying to gather in circles with women who've burned us?  What does it mean to self-source instead of always giving your power away?  This one is bold, vulnerable and unapologetically honest. Press play and get hyped - for yourself.  Erin Gallagher is the CEO and Founder of Hype Women, an inclusive ecosystem hyping women to remember who the f**k they are, author of Hype Women, and host of the Hype Women Podcast.  Her book is an electrifying and extraordinary approach to life for ambitious women everywhere.  Connect with Erin  Buy your copy of Hype Women now!  The Phoenix private community  The Selfish Year 

What happens when strategic intelligence meets spiritual intuition?  In this electric conversation, I sit down with keynote speaker and author, Karen Romine, to explore the intersection of artificial intelligence and the unseen realms.  We talk about how AI is transforming the way we make decisions and scale our lives - and how inner knowing is the missing data point most women ignore.  Karen shares her journey from corporate strategy expert to discovering that she is a psychic medium (yes, both can live in one woman!), and how merging logic with intuition creates exponential growth.  This one's for the woman who knows she's meant to lead, but also trusts the whispers. The woman who wants to scale her vision without abandoning her soul. And the woman who's secretly felt there's more to 'data' than numbers.  We're not choosing between the mystic or the machine. We're using both.  Join Karen's book launch event  Get your copy of The Selfish Year