Love is the power podcast

In this Part II episode on the theme of romantic relationships, following last week’s profound inquiry on the idea of unattractiveness, a couple works with Tom on a common pitfall that occurs in committed relationships: trying to control what your partner does and how they show up. Many of us can relate to this, even outside partnerships. Parents, children, friends…there’s a whole variety of relationships to be had that the mind will try to control in order to feel safe. This episode peels back the deeper layers of fear behind that need to control, and ultimately leads to the place Byron Katie says we arrive at when we stop opposing reality: somewhere kind, loving, and peaceful. Feel free to follow along using your own relationship (any kind will do!) and see where it takes you.

This week’s episode is part one of a deep dive into romantic relationships – the interest in them, the fear of them, and the frustrations of having them. In this first half of the two-part series, a participant speaks to the belief that men will not be interested in her romantically. When Tom asks what her mind is using as proof for that concept, she identifies the thought that men only look at the surface of a person, never deeper. This is one of those concepts that, from a certain perspective, seems pretty fair. But how does it affect us when we are actively seeking a romantic relationship while simultaneously believing this kind of thought? This inquirer notices how it undercuts the whole process of meeting people, infusing it with a sense of defensiveness. As Tom sometimes points out, we are free to continue believing whatever stories we like. And the invitation in this episode is to question the ones that bring stress into our lives.

This week on Love Is The Power, Tom invites participants to notice the habit of trying to control things in life. Money, love, security, health… You name it, the ego will attempt to control it. It can be so liberating to look at this pattern and notice what it actually does to our lives. Does it empower us? Does it relax us? Or does it cause stress and fear? As Tom points out, living is like surfing. And this habit can cause us to attempt to control the wave instead of riding it. It could be that as soon as we let go of the need for control, life becomes light again and we remember our freedom to live playfully and joyfully. If you want to find out for yourself, enjoy this week’s episode on learning to respond to the wave of life.

This week’s episode brings you one of Tom’s favourite questions to pose: What, if it were true, would give you a big fat ‘YES’ to life? In a popcorn-style meditation, the group explores this question and comes out with some profound answers to what the nature of creation would have to be in order for it to feel good. For example, it would have to be true that no one can actually be permanently harmed. Or, life would have to not be serious. Could it be that these desires we have for reality are actually reality itself, and only our internalized beliefs stand in the way of us and the life we’d like to be living? Could it be that the answer to, “What’s it all about,” is whatever we want it to be about? What would give you a ‘yes’ to life?

This week’s episode explores the popular concept of having a fair share. As humans, we can get pretty touchy if we believe someone is getting more than their ‘fair share’ of something, and pretty stressed if we believe that we have more than our fair share (whether of money, time, privilege, luck, etc.) One of the great things about self-inquiry is that we get to really get into these commonly held concepts and take a good, long look at them. Is there actually such a thing as a fair share? Is that how this Universe is set up? How do we react when we think that’s how it is? How does it affect us? Does it allow us to show up the way we’d really like to? Or does it end up contributing to more miserliness in the world? Who might you be without this story?