In last week’s episode, we looked at the tendency to hold things as problems. This week we’re adding to the exploration the tendency to believe “I have to do something with my life” and “There’s a destination I have to get to.” Some key questions in this episode are:Is it true in this moment that there’s a destination to get to? Or that we have to ‘do something’ with our lives or hold things as problems?What kind of experience of life do we give ourselves by believing those thoughts? What might an experience of life look like beyond these beliefs? Happy inquiring!
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269. Holding things as problems
This week the Love Is The Power inquiry group looks at the habit of holding things (situations, people, the state of the world) as a problem. It’s such an insidious habit, it tends to fly under the radar for most of us until we check in. But when we consciously look at a situation that we’d like to be different, it’s easy to see the belief, “I have to hold this as a problem." We might think that if we hold it as a problem we’ll fix it better or faster, and if we don’t then the situation won’t change at all. But what does this thought actually create in our lives? Does it help us show up the way we’d like to? Or does it give us a harvest of fear?
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268. The $84,000 bathroom
This week, as Tom puts it, the trigger for self-realization could be a bathroom! In a playfully profound inquiry on money, the group questions the thought, “There is a right and wrong amount of money to have, and a right and wrong way to spend it.” One person’s share acts as a through-thread in the inquiry, pondering whether or not it’s wrong to want and pay for a bathroom renovation. It sure feels wrong when this is the thought running our financial lives. But, as Tom will often ask, is the feeling proof? Is the sense of wrongness surrounding the spending of money really proof that it is inherently wrong somehow? We noticed we don’t know for sure. What we do know is that we’ve seen a lot of people act like it’s true since we arrived on this planet. But what if they all learned to believe this story, just the same as we did? What would that mean about the nature of money? What if it’s nothing like we imagine it is?
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267. The Jerk Police
Last week’s episode looked at the experience of innocence, and the belief that we, ourselves, are not that pure innocence. In this part two episode, we look at the fear that comes up when we aren’t believing that about ourselves or others. The fear of being a doormat. “Oh, if I just see everyone as innocent, I’ll just let them walk all over me.” Seems accurate enough, right? This position, though, gives us the role of constant self-preservation. When we’re afraid of being steamrolled, we have to approach life in a controlling, angry manner. Or as Tom puts it, we become the Jerk Police. We can’t just ask someone not to do something because that’s what we’d prefer, we have to make them wrong. We have to manipulate our perceived attackers – the jerks – with guilt or shame or anger. But what would life be like if we weren’t constantly giving ourselves this role? Pick a situation in your own life where someone is being a total jerk, and find out for yourself.
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266. I'm not that innocent
Notice a time when you’ve experienced innocence. (Tip: dogs, cats, babies and little kids are a good touchstone for this kind of experience.) What did it bring up within you? In this group inquiry, participants become aware of a sense of openness, levity, and joy, as well as a sense of wanting to protect and care for that innocence. And then Tom asks this question: Is it true that you are not that innocent? Can you absolutely know you are not innocent in that exact way? What is your experience of the world when you believe this of yourself and the rest of humanity? After joining in this inquiry, you might notice the next time you have that experience (whether it’s one of guilt, blame, self-condemnation, or any withholding of love) it’s easier to just say, “Oops, I did it again. I believed I’m not that innocent.”
We bring to you the voice and perspective of Tom Compton, a Facilitator of "The Work." Using a method of self-inquiry developed by Byron Katie, this podcast explores the underlying thoughts and beliefs that lead to suffering—at the personal and collective level. Tom guides us through meditations and invites us to pierce the stress and drama that often prevent us from seeing ourselves (and our freedom) clearly.
Ireland