Autism, ADHD and Us Three

Welcome back to Autism, ADHD and Us Three. In this community Q&A episode, Jenny answers 10 questions sent in by listeners and Instagram followers about late-diagnosed autism, ADHD and AuDHD identity. This is the final episode of Season 3 as the podcast will be taking its summer break in July and August.

This episode explores the huge emotional reckoning that can come after diagnosis or self-discovery, including identity confusion, masking, self-diagnosis, exhaustion, executive dysfunction, relationships, friendships and redefining success on your own terms.

Jenny talks about why self-diagnosis is valid, why you are not lazy, why masking can be so hard to untangle and how late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults can begin building lives that actually respect their nervous systems, energy and needs.

If you have ever wondered who you are now, whether you have made it all up, why you are so tired or what success even looks like anymore, this episode is for you.
Who am I now and who have I been?
Why diagnosis can make your whole life reorganise itself
Why self-diagnosis and self-discovery are valid
Why exhaustion is not laziness
The invisible energy cost of masking, sensory processing and executive function
How to challenge the lazy script in your head
What masking actually is and how to start spotting it
Why relationships can shift after diagnosis
How to get things done with poor executive function
Body doubling, timers, rituals and externalising your memory
How to build a life that respects your AuDHD needs
Redefining success after late diagnosis
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Useful linksJoin the Reclaim Yourself membership waitlist or check whether doors are open:
https://www.audhdistically.me/join-the-membership
Work with Jenny, including 1:1 coaching and text coaching options:
https://www.audhdistically.me/work-with-me
Sign up for Jenny’s weekly Positivity Pause newsletter:
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Buy Jenny’s book:
https://amzn.to/4o58FQf
Visit Audhdistically Me:
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Follow Jenny on Instagram:
Keywords
Late diagnosed autism, late diagnosed ADHD, AuDHD, autistic ADHD adults, neurodivergent women, self-diagnosis, autistic self-discovery, ADHD self-discovery, masking, unmasking, executive dysfunction, autistic burnout, ADHD burnout, neurodivergent exhaustion, self-acceptance, neurodivergent identity, adult autism diagnosis, adult ADHD diagnosis, AuDHD relationships, neurodivergent friendships, sensory overload, late diagnosed AuDHD women, autistic women, ADHD women, Reclaim Yourself membership, Audhdistically Me, Autism ADHD and Us Three.

If you are parenting a disabled or neurodivergent child and sometimes feel like the world was not built with your family in mind, this episode will land.
In this episode of Autism, ADHD and Us Three, Jenny sits down with Dana Garrett to talk about parenting, advocacy, communication, community, and the very real emotional load of caring for a child with additional needs.
Dana shares her experience as the mother of a mostly non-verbal daughter, and opens up about everything from diagnosis and communication differences to sibling dynamics, self-care, and the power of creating stories that help children feel seen.
Together, they explore how behaviour is often communication, why caregivers need support too, and how inclusive books and communities can make life feel less isolating for families navigating disability and neurodivergence.
Inside this episode:
Communication beyond words, including AAC, sign language, gestures, and behaviour
Why behaviour is often communication, not defiance
The reality of parenting a non-verbal child
Supporting siblings of neurodivergent and disabled children
Why caregiver self-care is essential, not selfish
The importance of community, shared understanding, and safe spaces
How inclusive children’s books can build empathy, acceptance, and confidence
This is a warm, honest conversation about advocacy, resilience, and the need for families like ours to feel held, understood, and less alone.
🎧 Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Dana Garrett
01:40 Early Development and Diagnosis of Elena
05:26 Communication Beyond Words
09:42 Understanding Behavior as Communication
12:12 Advocacy and Navigating Social Situations
13:34 The Journey of Self-Publishing Children's Books
17:44 Supporting Siblings of Neurodivergent Children
20:46 Creating Inclusive Stories
24:03 The Importance of Community
27:29 Self-Care Strategies for Caregivers
33:21 Upcoming Retreats and Workshops for Caregivers
💛 Connect with Dana Garrett
Author website:
https://danagarrett.com
Rare Blooms Foundation:
https://rarebloomsfoundation.org
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/danagarrett/
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/danagarrett/
💫 Resources Mentioned
Elena and Wyatt's Adventures on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Elena+and+Wyatt%27s+Adventures
Self-love journals for caregivers on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=self-love+journals+for+caregivers
Breathe: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VJX4V4X
Coherent Breathing Technique:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6362514/
💛 Work With Me & Next Steps
New here? Start here:
https://welcome.audhdistically.me/start-here
Sign up for The Positivity Pause newsletter:
https://www.audhdistically.me
Connect with me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/audhdistically.me

Hello lovely humans, and welcome back to another episode of Autism, ADHD and Us Three. If you’re new here, I’m so glad you’ve found us. And if you’re a regular listener, thank you for being part of this space 💜

If you enjoy the podcast, it would mean the world if you could leave a quick review. It helps more people find these conversations and feel a little less alone.

In this episode, I’m joined by Yenn Purkis, an autistic and ADHD advocate, author of 18 books, TEDx speaker and PhD candidate. We talk about how Yenn was unexpectedly pulled into advocacy, and the moment that shifted everything for them. From there, we explore the realities of being visible, the impact of deficit-based narratives around autism, and why so many common assumptions about autistic people are still so harmful.

We also dive into gender identity, inclusion, and what it really means to stand up and be seen in a world that doesn’t always feel safe to do so.

This conversation is honest, thoughtful and at times challenging, but also incredibly grounding for anyone navigating identity, late diagnosis, advocacy or burnout.
​How Yenn found themselves in advocacy and what changed their direction
​The impact of deficit-based messaging on autistic people
​Why visibility and representation matter so much
​The truth about “functioning labels” and why they’re often misunderstood
​Navigating identity, including gender diversity and autism
​Dealing with criticism, pushback and online spaces
​Burnout, work and creating a life that actually fits
​Autism diagnosis should mean liberation
​Visibility is vital for change
​Functioning labels are not diagnoses

00:00 Introduction to advocacy and autistic identity
01:34 The journey into advocacy
04:54 Writing as a tool for change
10:37 The evolution of public speaking
15:26 Changing perspectives on neurodiversity
19:39 Balancing advocacy and academia
20:36 Embracing passion and overcoming adversity
24:50 Redefining work and income streams
28:05 Identity and advocacy in the non-binary and asexual community
32:11 Navigating pushback and promoting visibility
34:52 Debunking myths about autism
41:51 Future aspirations and life philosophy
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You can find Yenn and their work here:
Website https://www.yennpurkis.com
Books on Amazon*https://amzn.to/4dg03Eg

If something in this episode resonated with you, I’d love you to share it with someone who might need to hear it too. And if you want more conversations like this, you can follow along wherever you listen to your podcasts.

*Affiliate links are used in these show notes.

If you thought finally getting your autism or ADHD diagnosis would feel like pure relief… and instead you feel exhausted, foggy, emotional or completely flattened… this one’s for you.
In this solo episode of Autism, ADHD and Us Three, Jenny breaks down something nobody really warns you about. The post-diagnosis crash.
She explains why so many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults experience burnout after finally getting answers, and why this isn’t weakness, regression or you not coping well enough. It is physiology.
Jenny explores what happens inside the nervous system after decades of masking, hypervigilance and pushing through environments that were never built for your brain. She talks about the relief that comes with diagnosis, and why that relief can actually trigger shutdown, exhaustion and emotional fallout.
Inside this episode:
Why diagnosis can act like a circuit breaker for your nervous system
How ADHD hyperfocus and autistic deep processing can accelerate burnout
The physical signs of nervous system recalibration
Why you cannot “optimise” your way out of this phase
Practical ways to stabilise when everything feels too much
What real recovery actually looks like
This episode is a permission slip to slow down. To stop turning yourself into a project. To let your body land after years of survival mode.
If you are in that shaky “who am I now?” space… you are not alone.
🎧 Chapters
00:00 Introduction and episode overview
01:05 Relief and the unexpected crash
01:34 Why burnout happens after diagnosis
02:30 What is happening inside the body and brain
03:34 Masking, hypervigilance and chronic stress
05:48 The nervous system under long-term pressure
07:42 Diagnosis as a circuit breaker
08:36 Physical signs of recalibration
09:29 Identity shifts and psychological changes
10:54 Grief after diagnosis
12:13 The post-diagnosis crash explained
12:53 ADHD hyperfocus and autistic deep processing
13:44 Medication and increased sensory awareness
15:09 Nervous system regulation and perceived regression
17:02 Acceptance and self-compassion
20:42 What to actually do during burnout
21:34 Myths about strength and recovery
22:55 Practical regulation and self-care
23:50 Small steps that help
24:46 Community and support
28:00 Final encouragement
💛 Work With Me & Next Steps
Join my free 5 day live experience Unlearning the Bullshit
https://welcome.audhdistically.me/unlearning-bs-registration
New here? Start here:
https://welcome.audhdistically.me/start-here
Sign up for The Positivity Pause newsletter:
https://www.audhdistically.me
Connect with me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/audhdistically.me

In this episode, Jenny Lucas speaks with Leanne Tran, a registered psychologist specializing in assessments for autism, ADHD, and specific learning disorders. They discuss the importance of early diagnosis and support for neurodiverse children, the impact of parental neurodiversity, and the assessment process. Leanne shares insights on navigating the challenges of accessing support in rural areas and the significance of individualized support in schools. The conversation emphasizes the need for understanding self-identity in neurodiverse children and innovative approaches to parental support.Contact Leanne Tran:
https://learn.leannetran.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/leannetranpsychology/

Contact Jenny Lucashttps://welcome.audhdistically.me/start-here
https://www.facebook.com/Audhdistically.me
https://www.instagram.com/audhdistically.me/
https://www.tiktok.com/@audhdistically.me
Keywords
neurodiversity, autism, ADHD, assessments, parental support, self-identity, rural access, school support, psychological assessments, early diagnosis

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Neurodiversity and Early Support
02:48 Understanding Parental Neurodiversity
05:16 The Importance of Self-Identity in Assessments
08:00 Navigating the Assessment Process
10:35 Challenges in Accessing Assessments
13:15 Working with Schools for Support
16:02 The Role of Online Resources
18:45 Innovative Support Strategies for Parents
21:22 Conclusion and Resources for Families