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Memoir Snob

Charlie Bleecker
Memoir Snob
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  • Episode 61: Wayne Scott
    A conversation with the author of The Maps They Gave Us.Wayne Scott refers to himself in the third person when discussing his memoir. I asked if that was a tool. “Absolutely,” Wayne said. “Some of my most miserable experiences in writers’ critique groups have been when people were writing memoir, and as you’re having the conversation in the group they’re saying, ‘I did this, I did that.’ They’re talking about the story and continuing it in the first-person narrative, and then it really just becomes group therapy because people want to rush and comfort the ‘I’ that’s sitting in front of them.”Wayne and I also discussed when to take creative liberties and change inconsequential details, how to build suspense in scenes, how writing in first-person present tense kept him more vulnerable because it created guard rails around the narrative and did not allow him the foresight or knowledge of the writer at the desk, and how he thinks about writing memoir and its impact on our kids.I asked his advice on how to move through the publishing process for my own book.“Write an honest book that’s beautiful,” he said. “And don’t think about the market. Then see where you can make it go.”References:Wayne’s Modern Love essayHuffington Post essays about his son:Why We Let Our Teenage Son Treat His Mental Health Issues With MarijuanaMy Son Is Skipping Thanksgiving This Year, But Not For The Reasons You Might Expect
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  • Episode 60: Michael Dean
    A conversation with my editor, Michael Dean. Our biggest tension, in the eighteen months we’ve worked together on my book, is Show vs. Tell. I want to show all the time with action, dialogue, examples, and stories but Michael says you can’t only show. You have to tell sometimes so the reader can make sense of what you’ve shown them. We discussed multiple examples of showing and telling, and what makes a good tell vs. a bad tell. We also worked towards a new principle. There are two yous in the book—the you in the story and the writer at the desk. The new principle is this: the writer at the desk should be curious. The writer at the desk can wonder and think and have tangential thoughts, but she cannot show emotion or pass judgment. It doesn’t matter if you’re writing about a story that happened twenty years ago or one that happened yesterday. There has to be some detachment from the writer-you and the person-in-the-story-you. So I can say a direct quote from the me in the story that was emotional: “Get out of the pool! You’re not listening!” but my commentary on that cannot pass judgment with something like, “I shouldn’t have said that,” or “They were stressing me out,” or “I wish I could just be more patient with my kids.” Michael, who has a knack for coming up with principles, added, “It's not that no present self is allowed, it's that the present self shouldn't do too much emotional manipulation. They can wonder, digress, show you things like a time traveler, but it's not their role to label or interpret.”This led to our thoughts on vulnerability and what it means to be vulnerable. I said vulnerability should feel scary when you hit publish, like jumping off the high dive. If you write something shameful or embarrassing like, “I yelled in my kid’s face,” you can’t then say some version of, “I know that was wrong, I know that was terrible, I know I’m the worst.” Michael added, “To be vulnerable means to surrender control of the narrative of yourself.”
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  • Episode 59: Joanna Rakoff
    A conversation with the author of My Salinger Year.How many characters do you really need? Make a list. Every character needs to be fully-fleshed, each with their own motivations. In order to make them real, you need to find them interesting, complicated. You need to be curious. Then, you need to write from a place of love and cold-bloodedness at the same time. “If you really want to write something great, if you’re really aiming at greatness, at things truly working, not at just like getting something out there, you have to be okay with letting some time pass. … You ultimately know what you want to do. You know what your book is, even if you don’t think you do, you do, and you just have to do be patient with yourself.”Book proposals are difficult to write (it took her two years to write her most recent book proposal). It’s not something to write on your own; it’s something you tackle with an agent. You should not consider hiring a publicist until you sell your book to a publisher. Favorite writing conferences:Bread Loaf Writers’ ConferenceSewaneeAWP ConferenceUnbound Festival Newburyport Literary Festival Nantucket Literary FestivalBook recommendations:Fairyland by Alysia AbbottPoser by Claire DedererWild by Cheryl StrayedWhen Skateboards Will Be Free by Saiid SayrafiezadehThe Mothercode by Ruthy AckermanPermission by Elissa AltmanAll You Can Ever Know by Nicole ChungAll of Donna Tartt’s novelsThe Girls from Corona del Mar by Rufi ThorpeFaith by Jennifer HaighWrite Through It by Kate McKean
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  • Episode 58: Virginia DeLuca
    A conversation with the author of If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets:-When you include your thoughts that are unkind, immature, or that you’re embarrassed to admit, it’s funny and relatable. “In the bedroom, I grab two boxes and throw in Perry's shirts, belts, ties, underwear, shorts, and pants, and dump them in the garage. Hopefully, they'll mildew.”-Sometimes you need an outside perspective to title your book. You, as the writer, are too close to it. Fresh eyes on the manuscript could see something you don’t. Virginia used a company called Title Doctor.-When you’re writing a scene about your younger self, think of how that version of you is different from your current self. In Virginia’s case, she used to curse a lot and avoided direct confrontation with her mother, so in the scene, she cursed (only once; otherwise it would have been distracting), and when he mother asked her questions she responded in other ways: shrugging off the jacket she didn’t want, and cursing in her mind, wondering where her ride was. -Endings are hard! According to Virginia, “It’s hard to sign out.” She wrote an Epilogue five years later, and ended with dialogue—a conversation with her ex-husband. Originally, the exchange was supposed to be at the beginning of the book. Late in the writing process, she moved it to the end. -Virginia published her book through Apprentice House Press, the nation’s first and largest entirely student-managed book publisher. They don’t require an agent. University presses are a great way to publish your book if you don’t self-publish or go through a traditional publisher. -Write fan letters to your favorite writers! Virginia wrote a fan letter to Abigail Thomas. She wrote that it was her first fan letter, told her how much she loved her writing, and that she had had a small writing success. Abigail responded immediately and said no writing success is small, and asked Virginia to share the link for the article she had published. Later, Virginia asked her to write a blurb. Abigail read her manuscript and wrote a blurb that said, “I’ve never quite felt this way before with any other book.” -Virginia’s advice, when I asked about publishing my first book, was to get into a writers group. You need a few people to read your writing and see how everything is landing.
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  • Episode 57: Kate Gies
    A conversation with the author of It Must Be Beautiful To Be Finished.-The key to writing about someone you love who you’ve also been hurt by, is to write with empathy. Think about their perspective and their experience and be generous and loving when you do. -Be wary of the please-feel-bad-for-me voice-Analogies should be both fresh and accurate-Metaphors written as standalone chapters, without any reference to how they relate to your story, are a powerful way to trust the reader and not hit them over the head with they're meaning. -The most important person in getting her book published was her agent.-Three memoirs that have inspired her writing.
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About Memoir Snob

Charlie reads memoirs and talks about what she learned, so she can write her own.
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