Chart Music: the Top Of The Pops Podcast

The latest episode of the podcast which asks; Tango or Telstar?

Yes, it’s that time of the year, Pop-Crazed Youngsters – we decide to do a Christmas episode, and then Christmas happens and gets in the way of everything, the bastard. Luckily, this episode – from Boxing Day – comes from a time when they did the festivities properly and didn’t hang it out like we do, so there’s very little in the way of tinsel and fake snow and turkey carcasses (and yes, it is Boxing Day, they did things differently then, don’t @ us). It’s from 1971, the Year Zero of the post-Beatle world, where a void suddenly opens and is immediately filled with an array of Sixties sorts who never got a look-in before and are making their grab for the big brass ring of Pop stardom.
Tony Blackburn – the host of the Daily Mirror Hot Pants Ball himself – is at the controls in his belted-off cardie, and it’s safe to say that 1971 is his most Blackburny year ever. We take you through it, from the highs of debating the merits of wank mags with Lord Longford and having his own board game to the lows of having his photo ripped up by Bristol Prog bands and being stalked by the Heavy Music Brigade.

Musicwise, it’s a fascinating trawl through the post-Mopfab landscape. Marc Bolan assumes his dominance in front of a floor manager who looks well Bullet Baxter. The Tams look like John Inman if he supported FC Barcelona. Benny Hill airs the Xmas #1 again. Slade take one massive stomp for a band, one giant leap for Glamkind. Pans People get out of quarantine and flounce about for Liverpool Jesus. The Stones ensure that every wedding do of the next 15 years will feature Dads dancing to one of the most brutal songs ever. Eight Ace and the Paedophile Information Exchange Horns celebrate their one hit for the last time on telly. We get to witness Diana Ross’s Armchair Thriller. And John Peel stares at the camera with a mandolin in his hands.

Taylor Parkes and David Stubbs join Al Needham for a complete evisceration of the Sounds of ‘71, veering off on such tangents as the dangers of having a Raleigh Chopper in Leeds that was Flamboyant Green, a detailed breakdown of Tony Blackburn’s weekly shopping list, Britain’s Grooviest Granny, Rod Stewart’s Whole Lotta Rosie moment, and John, Paul, George or Ringo: who’s getting it first, lads? DO IT WHILE YOU’RE STILL YOUNG, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!
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David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham reach the end of their journey through 1971 with the unsavoury sight of Ashton, Gardner and Dyke, before Diana Ross goes all Tales Of The Unexpected on us. The New Seekers – the shoulders that Guys and Dolls would stand upon – pitch up with their sanitised Hippy nonsense, and we finish with a kickabout with a garage football and John Peel on mandolin...

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Taylor Parkes, David Stubbs and Al Needham continue to gorge upon the selection box of 1971, and the big hitters have arrived. Slade – midway through their gestation into Tramps Of The Future – pitch up with their first #1. George Harrison celebrates his first and only year as the most successful solo Beatle – is emoted to by the People of Pan, who are still in quarantine after being stuck in Kenya. And Mick and the Kens make a rare appearance before nipping back to France to remind us who the Daddies are now...

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David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham commence their expedition into a TOTP end-of-year review with a comprehensive breakdown of Tony Blackburn’s 1971 – from the highs of compering the Daily Mirror Hot Pants Ball and having his own board game to the lows of having his image desecrated by Bristolian Prog bands and the nightmare of being stalked by the Heavy Music Brigade.

Marc Bolan celebrates being the new King of Pop, The Tams have come dressed as John Inman if he supported Barcelona, and Benny Hill cops a meat pie in the heart...

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Taylor Parkes, David Stubbs and Al Needham prepare to set about a rare Sixventies episode of The Pops – a gloriously fecund time where the death of the Mopfabs creates a massive void. Who’s gonna fill it? We’ll find out in this end-of-year special. But first, it’s a leaf through the music papers of the day and a frank discussion on the rights and wrongs of having it off after a Sunday dinner...

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