In this episode of Connected Parenting, we dive into a powerful visual and verbal tool that helps kids regulate their behavior and emotions called the "Stoplight Technique" (also known as Red Light, Green Light).As parents, one of our greatest challenges is guiding our kids through big feelings and impulsive behavior without losing our own cool. That’s where this simple yet effective method comes in.Listen in to hear me explain how the stoplight framework teaches children cause and effect, emotional regulation, and personal accountability, all in a way that’s age-appropriate and easy to apply at home or in the classroom. It gives them a clear visual anchor to understand what’s expected, and when things need to pause or shift.You’ll also learn how to modify the strategy for teenagers (because let’s be honest, a red light chart on the fridge might not go over so well at 15), and why this tool can be just as helpful for you as the parent.Whether your child struggles with emotional outbursts, transitions, or impulsive behavior, this episode offers a compassionate, practical way to build emotional intelligence together.Jennifer's Takeaways:Red Light, Green Light Technique Overview (00:00)Explanation of Red Light, Green Light Behaviors (01:05)Handling Yellow Light Behaviors (03:01)Applying the Technique to Teenagers (06:57)Using the Technique for Consistency and Flexibility (11:36)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
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12:31
[REPLAY] Summertime Connection | CP213
As the busy school year winds down, summer opens the door to something we often miss, space to slow down, breathe, and truly reconnect with our kids.In this heartfelt replay, we say goodbye to the hectic pace and explore simple, intentional ways to make this summer feel calm, connected, and full of joy for the whole family.Remember; summer doesn’t need to be packed to be powerful, it just needs presence.Jennifer's Takeaways:Summer as a Time for Connection and Refreshment (00:00)The Calm Technique and Its Benefits (02:07)Practical Application of the Calm Technique (03:40)Structuring Summer Days for Children (07:27)Balancing Structure and Flexibility in Summer (09:38)Divide and Conquer Strategy for Family Outings (11:38)Maintaining Structure During Vacations (13:21)Bringing Back the Magic of Family Time (14:11)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
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15:37
ADHD Waiting Mode | CP212
You may have a child who freezes up for hours before a dentist appointment or refuses to start anything all day because they're waiting for a playdate or appointment later on. It’s not laziness or defiance, it’s their ADHD brain getting stuck in “waiting mode.”Today we unpack what ADHD waiting mode is, why it happens, and how it connects to hyperfixation, time blindness, and emotional regulation. Listen in to hear me explain why even bright, capable kids with ADHD often struggle to shift gears, stay organized, or follow through, especially when there's a delay between now and the task or reward.Whether you’re parenting a “neuro-spicy” child or navigating your own ADHD challenges, this episode offers empathy, understanding, and a powerful toolkit to help you move forward with compassion and connection.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Daily Life (00:00)Hyperfocus and Time Blindness in ADHD (01:27)ADHD Waiting Mode and Its Effects (11:13)Strategies for Managing ADHD Waiting Mode (11:29)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
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16:19
Handling Meltdowns & Teen Pushback: Your Parenting Q&A | CP211
In this episode of the Connected Parenting Podcast, we're diving into two real-life listener questions as part of our Q&A series.First, we explore how to support an eight-year-old who has emotional outbursts in stores when they’re told “no.” Why do these meltdowns happen, and how can we respond in ways that actually build emotional regulation instead of making things worse?Then we shift gears to talk about teens, specifically, what to do when your teenager refuses to go on family weekends or trips. We unpack the reasons behind this resistance, and how to balance empathy with boundaries while still keeping the family connection strong.These two scenarios may seem different, but at their core, both are about emotional regulation, autonomy, and how we show up as calm, connected leaders for our kids, even when things get heated or hard.Tune in to hear strategies, mindset shifts, and scripts you can start using right away to manage these tough parenting moments with more confidence and less stress.Jennifer's Takeaways:Addressing Tantrums in Young Children (15:35)Strategies for Managing Tantrums (15:47)Handling Teenage Refusals to Go Away with the Family (16:00)Maintaining Consistency and Confidence (16:12)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
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18:08
Building Independence | CP210
The balance between guidance and freedom helps children develop emotional strength, problem-solving skills, and a deeper sense of self. While today’s kids have endless access to information, what many lack is the freedom to explore, try, fail, and figure things out on their own.Whether your child is a toddler or a teen, this episode will give you practical and compassionate guidance on building independence in ways that feel safe and supportive for both of you.Tune in and rediscover the magic of letting go just enough to help your child grow. Jennifer's Takeaways:Building Independence in Children (00:00)Challenges of Modern Parenting (01:55)Encouraging Age-Appropriate Responsibilities (05:08)Age-Appropriate Privileges and Problem-Solving (08:57)Balancing Protection and Independence (13:05)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
Connected Parenting shares techniques that therapists use to help parents soothe their child as well as enhance the parent-child bond and is based on the understanding that correcting and guiding behavior works best when it is preceded by and linked to empathy. At the heart of this parenting model is the CALM Technique which helps parents accurately attune to children’s affect and experience. These empathic interactions release reward chemicals in the brain that stimulate positive emotions and increase order and balance in the nervous system. Reward chemicals, including natural opiates, endorphins, and a powerful hormone called oxytocin, reduce and inhibit stress hormones and bathe the brain in positive emotions that ripple through every cell in the body. The benefits of empathy and compassion have a strong base in science that cannot be underestimated. Simply put, it is brain food, the emotional nutrition all of us need, perhaps our children most of all.
Although many parenting techniques stress the importance of empathy, Connected Parenting will show you how to use it skillfully to repair frayed bonds, deescalate tantrums, contain and correct difficult behaviors and help your child to become more confident and emotionally resilient. We use a collaborative and supportive coaching model and provide inspirational, easy-to-understand techniques grounded in neuroscience and attachment. In the end, your child will be more compliant, more relaxed, and – most importantly – happier. Connected Parenting will bring out the best in you and your child.
Ireland