Dam Internet, You Scary!

• 300: Crows Hold GRUDGES?! This Bird Attacks Her EVERY Day! on DIYS with Chris Sneed

  A crow that attacks ONE person every day?! Parrots ordering snacks on Alexa?? Cartel graveyards with air conditioning and balconies?! This episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! is full of the most insane real-life stories that’ll leave you shook and in stitches. 💀 From birds with vendettas to million-dollar mausoleums, Tahir, Patrick, and guest Chris Sneed break it all down with nonstop laughs and wild takes. 🎟️ Plus: Chris Sneed is filming his stand-up special “I Need Urgent Care” on June 26th at the Regent Theater — don’t miss it! https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0900627BE3654976?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaeaIzJ6tdwJsC5yVBOdn-IQ-BjTplSDJedGGtgu390WM6HPUY4cNC1mq4vUyA_aem_KwNEdvAIjRpICjH3j9Jj-A 🔔 Subscribe now for more hilarious episodes:  @DamInternetYouScary 🎙️ Producer:  @HippieGoals 📱 Follow the hosts:  @tahirmoore   |  @PatrickCloudChannel   Guest:  Chris Sneed https://www.instagram.com/itschrissneed/ 🕒 CHAPTERS: Join our Patreon now!!  https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

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• 299: China’s Super Soldiers, Creepy Heart Transplants & Hallucinogenic Fish w/ Devonte West

  This episode of Damn Internet, You Scary! is a full-blown ride. Guest: Devonte West https://www.instagram.com/_devontewest/ Devonte West joins Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud for an unhinged convo that covers: Snail trail face masks 🐌 Edible horror stories 🍪 CIA-level hallucination fish 🐠 The wildest heart transplant suicide story 🫀 Purple not being real 👁️ And China's terrifying new super soldier experiment 🧬 It's skincare, science, and superpowers all rolled into one. Buckle up — this episode gets deep, weird, and hilarious. 🔔 Like, subscribe & hit the bell — or risk eating a DMT fish by accident. S/O to our Sponsors SKIMS https://www.skims.com/diys Blue Chew Https://www.bluechew.com Promo Code: DIYS Kikoff Get your first month FREE at https://www.GetKikoff.com/DIYS 0:00 - Glow, Sponges & Hot Oil Treatments 1:18 - Spa Days & Korean Skincare 2:31 - Snail Masks & Slippery Science 5:15 - Compliments & Confidence 8:12 - Devonte Joins the Chaos 10:53 - Type Sh*t Global Culture Stories 20:15 - Fish That Get You High?! 23:00 - DMT, Edibles & Driving While High 32:00 - Heart Transplant Suicide Mystery 37:00 - Purple Isn't Real?! 41:00 - Satellites, GPS Hacks & Creamer Prices 45:00 - Coffee Subs, Skims & Bluechew 49:00 - China's Super Soldiers 53:00 - Custom Superpowers & The Real Goku Life Producer:  @HippieGoals   Join the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/daminternetyouscary

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• 298: We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things | DIYS w/ Spank Horton

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/diys What happens when comedian Spank Horton pulls up to Dam Internet, You Scary!? Shirtless birthday parties, wild drug trips, international thirst stories, detachable sea penises, and cows who hate country music. Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud go toe-to-toe with Spank in one of the most hilariously unhinged episodes ever. 💥 From talking ketamine to awkward strip club returns, from Brazilian magazine girls to frogs getting divorced for too much rain—this one has it ALL. 🎤 Hosted by: Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud 🎧 Guest: Spank Horton https://www.instagram.com/spankhorton/ 🎥 Produced by:  @HippieGoals   📍 Chapters + Timestamps below 👇 📲 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weekly chaos! 🔗 Follow us on socials: @daminternetscary ✂️ Best moments from this episode? COMMENT BELOW! 0:00 - The Freestyle Is Wild Right Away 2:01 - Spank Talks Getting “Fired” by Kevin Hart 4:04 - Kev’s Workout Rules & Phone Calls at 6AM 5:10 - Spank’s Birthday Turn-Up: No Shirt in the Club 7:00 - “Would You Take Your Shirt Off In Church?” 9:00 - Spank’s Freestyle to a Mario Trap Beat 11:10 - Macy’s Catalogs & Magazine Shopping Woes 13:00 - Brazilian Magazine Girls & "Ordering by Name" 15:10 - Beauty in Brazil vs. Getting Kidnapped 17:00 - The Artist Who Drew Himself on Every Drug 20:30 - Ranking Drug Portraits: Weed, Cocaine, Meth 25:00 - Everyone Admits Which Ones They Tried 27:00 - DMT Trips, Hieroglyphics & Lucy-Level Visuals 30:00 - Spank Tries Ketamine—Then Rips His Shirt Off 32:00 - “We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things” 33:45 - Cows Hate Country Music?! 35:00 - Wagyu Cows Live Better Than Us 36:15 - Women’s Self-Defense Gloves from the 1800s 38:10 - Sea Creatures with Detachable D**ks 🤯 40:00 - Frog Marriage & the Flood It Caused 43:00 - Spank’s Favorite City for Beautiful Women 45:00 - India, Mia Khalifa & Trash City in Egypt 48:00 - Spank’s Chaotic Jamaica Trip w/ 90 People

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• 297: Are Spiders Plotting Against Us? + Downtown LA’s Creepiest Secrets on DIYS w/Vanessa Graddick

  🎙️ Welcome back to Damn Internet, You Scary! with your hosts @PatrickCloudChannel and @TahirMoore. This week’s hilarious guest is none other than comedian, writer, and mixologist-in-residence Vanessa Graddick! https://wwww.instagram.com/vanessagraddick In this episode: 🍸 Vanessa drops drink game with edible glitter cocktails 👮‍♂️ We dive into the wild conspiracy that Family Matters was a delusion created by Carl Winslow! 🕷️ Spiders could theoretically eat all humans in under a year?! Say what? 🌲 We explore the real-life Zone of Death loophole where you could legally get away with murder! 🌆 Plus: the haunting side of downtown LA, from graffiti ghosts to pigeon-covered staircases. Don’t forget to like, comment, and SUBSCRIBE for more comedy, conspiracies, and chaos. 💬 Drop your thoughts: What show from the 90s deserves a conspiracy theory? S/O to our Sponsors Blue Chew Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code DIYS -- just pay $5 shipping. https:/www.bluechew.com Prize Picks Download the app today and use code DIYS to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup! 0:00 - Kicking Things Off & Making Wishes at 12:34  0:42 - Birthday Numbers & Seeing Patterns in Time  1:21 - Can You Manifest the Clock?  1:55 - Timing Needs to Be Organic  2:29 - Sleepy Faces & Misinterpreted Drool  3:02 - The Money Shot Debate  3:15 - Titty Bang Failures & Bad Aim  3:30 - Vasectomy Confessions & Reduced Velocity  4:27 - The Brick House Blueprint  5:03 - Invention: The Skee-Ball Sex Game  5:37 - Olympic Score System for Sex  6:14 - Global Expansion for Semen Games?!  6:50 - Scoring Hair vs Headboard vs Butt  7:35 - Missionary Skeeball Gets Competitive  8:07 - Can Amazon Sell This?  9:01 - Sitcom Theme Songs with a Trap Remix  10:17 - Vanessa’s Glitter Cocktails & DIY Mixology  11:22 - Frasier Love & Drink Inspiration  12:12 - Sitcom Reboots & Night Court Talk  13:49 - Kathy Bates in Matlock & Writing Classes  15:17 - Sitcom Trap Beat Freestyle  16:59 - Cheese is as Addictive as Cocaine?!  17:32 - The Carl Winslow Multiverse Conspiracy  19:42 - Typecasting & The Ghost of Urkel  21:17 - Family Matters Is a Cop's Fantasy  23:51 - Schizophrenia Dog Named Barbie 🐶  24:35 - Could Spiders Eat All Humans?!  26:20 - Slavery Stats & Spider Logic  27:34 - If We Ate White People Instead of Chicken...  28:40 - What If Don Julio Sponsored Cracker Barrel?  29:58 - Ad Read: Bluechew Comedy Segment  32:37 - Words We Can’t Say: Specificity & Naïveté  33:43 - The Zone of Death: Legal Murder in Idaho?!  36:08 - Yellowstone’s “Train Station” Theory  38:43 - Downtown LA: Squatters, Drugs & Dodger Dogs  43:57 - Man in a Diaper with Pigeons?!  44:58 - Why Dodger Dogs Are Baseball's Real MVP  45:40 - PrizePicks Sports Talk & Fantasy Betting  51:20 - Cheese Debate Continues: Sharp Cheddar Wins  55:55 - Vanessa’s Final Plugs & Upcoming Projects  #DIYS #VanessaGraddick #FamilyMattersTheory #Spiders #ZoneOfDeath #ComedyPodcast #BlackCreators #urbanlegends Producer:  @HippieGoals ​

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• 296: Frog or Lizard Afterlife? Terminal Man Story, Mario Debates + More | DIYS

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir and Patrick go from conspiracy theories to hilarious hypotheticals. They dive into the real-life story behind The Terminal, uncover wild Mountain Dew conspiracy theories, and debate the practicality of Mario’s power-ups. Also—should you come back as a frog or a lizard in the next life? And how powerful is Dr. Doom really? We’re talking: Getting stuck in an airport for 18 years Frog butt cheeks Marvel movie hot takes Star or 1UP—what would you pick IRL? 💥 Sponsored by Factor Meals & BetterHelp 🍽️ Get 50% off at https://www.factormeals.com/diys50off 🧠 Try online therapy at https://www.betterhelp.com/diys 🔥 New episodes every week! Subscribe for more wild convos and nerd debates. 0:00 – Intro + Martial Arts Fitness 1:08 – Energy Drinks, Mornings & Sugar 1:26 – Guest Cancellations & Old School Vibes 2:00 – The Mountain Dew Conspiracy 🥤 3:07 – The Terminal Was Real?! 5:00 – Living in an Airport: Hacks & Struggles 9:10 – Worst Airports Ranked ✈️ 14:30 – Vegas Airport = Chaos 16:52 – Life Hacks & Crazy Tariffs 18:00 – Billionaires Losing Billions 20:00 – Jackie Chan Won’t Leave His Kids a Dime 22:25 – Factor Meals Ad Read 23:00 – Mario Star vs 1-Up Debate 🍄 26:08 – Robbing a Bank with Mario Powers 28:07 – First Animal That Doesn’t Need Oxygen 30:25 – Animals That Don’t Drink Water 34:13 – Would You Come Back as a Frog or Lizard? 🐸🦎 36:11 – Poison Dart Frog Swag 40:05 – BetterHelp Ad Read 42:14 – Avengers: Endgame Deserves a Spot in Top 5 44:13 – Marvel vs DC: Who’s Winning Now? 48:00 – Doctor Doom is Tony Stark?! 50:52 – Most Powerful Marvel Villains Ranked 52:56 – Wanda’s True Power & Marvel Plotlines 54:00 – Disney+ Pricing Woes 55:00 – Sneak Peek: Sleeping Sickness Segment Join our Patreon now!!  https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

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