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Figuring Sh!t Out

Vanessa Fontana
Figuring Sh!t Out
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  • 84. Your Body Wants to be Your Friend: Overcoming Insecurity, Self-Rejection, & Perfectionism in an Age of Image-Based Obsession
    Our bodies - they live for us. And they allow us to live. They give us the ability to sift through this life experience with the breath of both joy and fear, the expression of both laughter and pain.In them, we celebrate. In them, we ache. And yet in them, we often do everything we can: To escape them. We meet ourselves in the mirror, avoid our eyes, and dart to the pieces of our beings that we hope to be different. We bombard ourselves with never-enoughness and create a shell of distance between us and these vessels that live to support us. We try to love our inner child, yet we perpetuate the same talk-tracks that reject their desire to live freely in their skin without the weight of judgement.Our bodies — they want to be our friends. They always have.And yet, in them - we wage a silent war.For many of us, this is habit. I don't know a single female who hasn't dealt with some bout of shame, distortion, or insecurity from the pain of a toxic body image.I am one of them. I have dealt with the ups and downs and everlong fluctuations of body image distress, disordered and restrictive habits, coming into a healed and accepting place time and time again only to find myself fall into old spirals of shame and self-rejection. I have had this podcast for two years and have never spoken about this topic — because though I have dealt so intimately with this, I didn't know how to speak about it. I didn't know what to say. I didn't feel — qualified.How could I? When I was still figuring it out? And then, this week - I had a moment of reckoning with myself in a dressing room. There was a light cast onto the dark shadow of a tired talk-track I'd heard too many times — and I realized that this cycle does not stop by living in silence.That too many of us carry around this silent shame and guilt with this subject matter. And it was time to break that cycle.This episode is a soft but honest exploration of our relationship with our bodies, self-rejection, and the perfectionistic expectations we may carry in an age where image feels like currency. During this episode, I talk about: how we perpetuate toxic cycles of conditional love with ourselves and how to stop this cycles of perfectionism ways the inner critic shows up and steps to keep the inner critic in checkstrategies to become a friend to yourself and earn your own trust back how to approach change from a place of love rather than FOR lovehow the body is an energetic extension of us, reflecting our inner dialogue the projection of control and "the need to fix:" my story and reflections with this topic throughout my lifeTW: Body Image, Disordered Eating.Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, doctor, nor an expert on this topic — I am just sharing my own experience and the reflections of what I've learned. If you are in need of assistance or help, please seek an expert's guidance.xIF YOU LOVE FSO, PLS RATE THE SHOW ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOW, & LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS EPISODE WITH A COMMENT <3Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout - DM Me "Invite" with your email to learn more about The Road Less Travelers 4 week Course or 1:1 work! (Cohort 2 Begins 5/19)JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3Link to Growth Diaries (mentioned in the podcast): HerePersonal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainMY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)Stan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase being added as we speak!)xIf you liked this episode, you'll like this one: 73 - Intentional Practices for an Aligned Life: How I Remain Organized, Consistent, & ConnectedCHAPTERS: 0:00-6:00: Being a Friend To Ourselves while Living in an age of "Perfect"6:00-14:00: My Moment of Reckoning & Background 14:00-16:00: Happiness is not on the Other End of your Standard of Perfection16:00-23:00: Criticism as a form of Control & Self-Protection23:00-28:00: Perfectionism to Procrastination Pipeline 28:00-32:00: Just as You Are: Building Practices32:00-35:00: Changing from a place of Love > changing FOR love35:00-39:00: Earning your own Trust Back, the Body as an Energetic Extension of Us 39:00-43:00: You're Going to have Bad Days - Leaning into Love in those Moments 43:00-49:00 ANNOUNCEMENT & Special Opportunity!!!! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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  • 83. Unserious, Unbothered, and Unapologetically Alive: The Art of Whimsy, Joy, & Romanticizing Your Life
    This episode is a love-letter to aliveness, and gives you sacred permission to be soft, silly, and slow.It asks: What if today, you let yourself believe it was all magic? What if joy wasn't something to earn — but something to practice? This is your invitation to reject the homogenization of happiness, to romance the ordinary by becoming alive to our senses, and to let bliss be your rebellion - because it takes discipline to be in it.If you've been caught up in the trap of productivity, control, have forgotten that you are a human on a floating rock and we're ALL just figuring sh!t out, this episode is for you — and it is a sacred portal to come home to wonder. Inside the episode: Why softness and joy are powerful and sacred practices (not weaknesses) that have been practiced for centuries in ritualHow your inner child is your portal to your higher selfThe myth of "coolness" and how it keeps us disconnectedMy personal rituals and list of romanticizing the every day The feminine void, divine energy, and what it means to create from nothingness without an agendaWhy play is a spiritual portal and how to reclaim it as an adult What to do when joy feels scary or guilt-inducingRomanticizing your life is not delusional, it is devotional. Play, Art, & Joy are not frivolous - they are sacred. So sit back , soften your edges, make a cup of tea — and come home.xIF YOU LOVE FSO, PLS RATE THE SHOW ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOW, & LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS EPISODE WITH A COMMENT <3+ JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to WorkshopsStay Connected!Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout - DM Me "Invite" with your email to learn more about The Road Less Travelers 4 week Course or 1:1 work!Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainMY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)Stan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase being added as we speak!)xCHAPTERS:0:00-6:00: Being Silly is Sacred - Softness Isn't Weakness6:00-8:30: The Myth of Maturity: Get Over Yourself. Being Cool is a Cage8:30-11:50 Falling in Love with the Process 11:50-14:00: The Power of Joy, Dance, & Community as Sacred Ritual14:00-18:30: Shedding the Guilt of Happiness, Being in Bliss is Being in Divine Service18:30-20:00: Inner Child is the Gateway to the Higher Self 20:00-28:00: The Little Ways I Romanticize My Life 28:00-32:00: Joy is a Great Business Strategy 32:00-36:00: De-Influencing Minimalism & Curating a Life that Feels like Magic Adornment36:00-40:00: The Feminine Void, The Sacred Unknown, The Dance of Energies 40:00-47:00: The First Step to Manifestation & What Real Luxury Is 47:00-48:00: Opportunity!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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  • 82. How EMDR Heals: Rewiring the Past, Reclaiming the Present, & Transforming through Trauma (with EMDR Expert Dana Carretta-Stein)
    Trauma is not what happens to us - it is what happens inside of us as a result of what happens to us.Which is why healing comes from the inside out -- through modalities that often get us out of the thinking mind and into the body.We've all heard it: The Body Keeps the Score. But what does that mean?In this episode, I sit down with Dana Carretta-Stein — a certified EMDR therapist and trauma-informed care expert whose work has informed a community of over 100,000— to unravel how EMDR Therapy actually works. Not just as a therapy, but as a powerful pathway for healing the past and reclaiming the present.We unpack what EMDR is and why it works, who it’s for, and why talk therapy isn’t always enough. We explore the overlap between ADHD and trauma, the importance of an attuned therapist, the phases of EMDR, and what healing really looks like when you’re finally ready to face the past.I also share my personal journey with EMDR — from mother wound work to reprocessing deep-rooted patterns I didn’t even know were trauma responses.This conversation is packed with insight, validation, and gentle encouragement for anyone navigating their own healing. For anyone who feels stuck, numb, and is carrying the weight of what hasn't been held yet -- may this conversation be a guiding light for you.xIF YOU LOVE FSO, PLS RATE THE SHOW ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOW, & LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS EPISODE WITH A COMMENT!+ JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to WorkshopsDANA'S LINKS:Dana's WebsiteFree EMDR ResourcesDana's IGxStay Connected!Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout - DM Me "Invite" to learn more about The Road Less Travelers 4 week Course or 1:1 work!Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainMY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)Stan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase being added as we speak!)CHAPTERS:0:00-6:30: Introduction6:30-9:00: What does Healing Mean to You?9:00-14:00: Trauma is Not an Event, It's An Experience14:00-18:00: The overlap between ADHD & Trauma. Rejection Sensitivity18:00-26:00: How is Talk Therapy Different than EMDR? Feeling & Processing vs "Out-thinking" or Intellectualizing26:00-40:00: My journey with EMDR, The Mother Wound, Attachment Trauma40:00-46:00: How do You know You're "Done" with EMDR?46:00-49:00: The Codependent Therapist/Patient Relationship & Importance of Attunement49:00-53:00: "Pre-Requisites for EMDR," Fear around Repressed Memories Resurfacing53:00-59:00: Results: What is the Biggest Change You've Seen in Someone through EMDR59:00-1:07: Finding the Right Therapist, Insurance, & Investment in your Healing1:07-1:09: EMDR & Joe Dispenza Overlap1:09-1:15: Why EMDR? & Who is the Therapists' Therapist?1:15-1:20: Road Less Traveled & Figuring Sh!t Out AdvicexGLOSSARY:DBT: Dialectal Behavioral Therapy / CBT: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - commonly used modalities of Talk Therapy EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing IFS: Internal Family Systems / Parts WorkSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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  • 81. Authenticity, Art, & the Audacity to Be Seen: 5 Lessons on Creating, Healing, & Showing Up
    In this episode, I talk about the dreaded yet silent fear many of us have: being seen and perceived. Reflecting on two years of sharing my heart & soul with the world, I outline the five most important things you need to know in beginning to listen to what your heart calls you to.We discuss the identify shifts that happen when you start showing up authentically and what I’ve learned about living more truthfully. We touch on guilt, money, intuition, and the chaos that comes with committing to a vision that only you can see.On the Two Year Anniversary episode of FSO, we sit with what it really means to do the thing you know you need to do and let your truth lead: even when it’s messy, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when you want to hide and have spent your whole life doing so.Two years ago, when I dropped this podcast - I did so out of just a little inkling of desire. I was 23, working full time in Tech, knowing if I didn't do something with my creative energy, I would go insane.And two years later, here I am: listening to this authentic calling has become my full time job, I've made a deep commitment to honoring a life in pursuit of the expressive truth -- and I'm here to tell the tales along the way.If you’re navigating the resistance of taking up the space your heart calls you to take up, waiting to be ready to create instead of consume, wondering how to begin, or just love Figuring Sh!t Out (thank you, I love YOU!!!!) -- this episode is for you.-Substack Article IF YOU LOVE FSO, PLS RATE THE SHOW ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOW, & LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS EPISODE WITH A COMMENT!+ JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to WorkshopsStay Connected!Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout - DM Me "Invite" to learn more about The Road Less Travelers 4 week Course or 1:1 work!Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainMY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)Stan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase being added as we speak!)CHAPTERS:0:00-6:00: 2 years of FSO: what happens when you let your authentic truth lead / getting in touch with the divinity of who you are 6:00-8:33: transformation lives in the breaking point. integration > information; action > learning8:33-12:00: (you're probably wondering how I got here) 12:00-15:00 strategy has no place in your dreams 15:00-24:00: how a life of silence led me to talking for a living 24:00-26:00: living guiltlessly in the place of authenticity & how to stop making excuses for yourself26:00-29:00: money transparency & taking risks 29:00-40:00: The Five Things40:00-47:00: you can't even imagine how good it gets 47:00-53:00: you are a multidimensional being not to be defined53:00-58:00: commitmentSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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  • 80. Surrender the Clenched Hand of Control: The Portal to Divinity, Peace, & Your Inner Magic
    Surrender is soft, sweet, – and so quiet, you’d almost miss it. And I think that is why we do. What is your relationship with the need to know? What is your dialogue with desire? What gnaws at the insides of your brain and creates compulsions of “must do’s” and “have to”? What lie led you to believe that those traits serve you more than they hurt you? Herein lies the entrypoint to your darkest shadow and your deepest peace. Can you sit in the stillness long enough to uncover magic? As we sit in the space between winter and spring, where windchill still whispers and the sun overcomes it’s fear of being seen, we see nature mimic this sentiment:To sit in the space of something yearning to sprout – Requires patience, hope, and trust. We could plop ourselves in front of the budding tulips and urge them to come out of the ground. We could harness all of our energy and scream at the daffodils to make them sing.But no amount of force will stop the natural becoming of what has been sewn into the surface of this life. When you’ve gripped so tightly onto control that the forces of nature just want to teach you your lesson, a catalyst occurs. Life bites you back with a distinct surprise, a death, a destruction. You are shown that – you can sure as hell try, but you won’t ever really know or guarantee or be certain of a thing. In surrender, there is a silent trust, a connected breath, a subtle heart-beat that begins to get louder with attention and intention. In this breath, you sink deeper into the now and realize this is the place where all of the magic happens.Can you repeat: "I love you where you are and I love you where you're going?" as you stare back at yourself in the mirror --- and mean it?xIF YOU ARE A FREQUENT LISTENER OF FSO, RATE THE SHOW ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOW THE SHOW, & LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS EPISODE WITH A COMMENT!& Stay connected through:MY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout - DM Me "Invite" to learn more about The Road Less Travelers 4 week Course or 1:1 work!Personal Instagram: @222vgfTikTok: butterflyfountain+ JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops Stan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase being added as we speak!) CHAPTERS:0:00-4:00: to pursue growth out of love, not escape is where true transformation is4:00-6:30: the quiet space between two choices: life works with us or against us 6:30-15:00: I love you where you are & I love you where you're going, Growth is About Allowing15:00-19:00: Releasing the clenched hand and allowing discovery & receptivity20:00-24:00: the art of surrender - confronting our need to control24:00-28:00: get out of your own way. the calling wouldn't be in your heart if it wasn't meant for you28:00-34:00: You were never in the Driver's Seat - Allowing Divinity In 34:00-38:00: The Evidence of Fate's Hand & miraculous simplicity 38:00-43:00: Unwavering Trust & Faith is an Illusion, Most times it is Blind43:00-46:00: You're literally on a floating rock 46:00-48:00: Come Back Home. 48:00: Announcement!!x Substack (Soft Focus) Youtube Video to this EpisodeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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About Figuring Sh!t Out

For those seeking purpose, healing, and direction for navigating life’s grey areas - Figuring Sh!t Out is a haven for those on their path of self-discovery & inner-awakening. This podcast is a guide to help you enjoy and surrender to the unfolding process of discovering yourself.On FSO, there is a pathway to embrace the process of navigating uncertainty in a world of flux while blooming and expanding into who you want to be.Hosted by Vanessa Fontana in her New York City bedroom, FSO was born in the throws of a deeply personal coming of age and self-discovery journey. Whether you’re in the midst of coming of age chaos, breaking generational cycles, or chasing elusive dreams, FSO is a way to make sense of the world by opening dialogue with a deeper part of ourselves.So... how to Figure Sh!t Out?Realize that you never really will + learn to enjoy the process.New episodes every Sunday.Stay Connected:FIGURINGSHTOUT.COMJOIN THE COMMUNITYIG: @figuringshiiitoutIG: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainYouTube:@figuringshitoutInquiries: [email protected]
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