Football Cliches

The pod welcomes the writer, esteemed pintsman and creator of Dead Pubs, Jimmy McIntosh, for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Jimmy's selections are the nuances of watching live games in the pub (feat. Arsenal fans doing the Gyokeres celebration), the pioneering work of sporting director Damien Comolli, British football's aversion to poetic player nicknames, the rise (and potential fall) of "limbs" culture and the logistical nightmare of the half-time stadium pint.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel reflect on the subtler elements of Tuesday night's Atletico-Spurs chaos.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a new shade of yellow card is invented, VAR delays in Roman times, legendary goalscorers' names in police documentaries, Neil Warnock's ultra-obscure cultural references in post-match interviews and Richard Keys on Indy 500 hosting duties.

Meanwhile, the panel classify each FA Cup fifth-round exit/progression and ponder if someone could ever win player of the month with just a single-game performance.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and James Maw. On the agenda: the official start to the business end of the season, Wolves getting people whispering, Evann Guessand's very precise transfer clause, other podcasts adopting the Cliches Way, Benjamin Sesko's windows, Emma Radacanu's Watford coaches and Richard Keys featuring in a sensational URL.

Meanwhile, the panel determine the exact criteria for a team to be in “freefall” and which football clubs have the most similar level of prestige as their local university.

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The pod welcomes TNT Sports co-commentator Lucy Ward for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as she chooses her six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Lucy's selections are the joy of young players making their senior debut, fence-perching and megaphone-toting Continental ultras, the post-goal cue for a co-commentator to wax lyrical, the "Ayling Flop" and clubs tenuously claiming youth signings as "one of their own".

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel hear an unexpected pre-penalty shout at Yeovil, ponder a potential technicality in awarding the save of the season, and get mathematical about passes being put on a proverbial "sixpence".

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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the mid-game solidarity between opposing 5-a-side goalkeepers, top-half teams with wildly anomalous goal differences, managers who performatively refuse to watch their players taking penalties, and the attitude of pubs towards their flag-based bunting during major tournaments.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a quintessentially Scottish football phone-in caller and a listener flags a very niche noise made by a commentator that we will now never be able to ignore.

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