Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the players' disbelieving reactions to team-mates' wondergoals, goalkeepers who react furiously to Panenkas against them, the anxiety of shooting into an empty goal in a 5-a-side warm-up and a never-before-heard grievance about scoring penalty shootouts.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel assess Peter Crouch's "streets won't forget" 5-a-side lineup and wonder if some lamentable footballspeak in a political drama is not quite as it seems.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
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56:05
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56:05
Dyche goes dating, Dean Ashton's defensive doughnut & textbook piledrivers
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Stockley Park canteen saga rumbles on, inexplicable TV cameos from Sean Dyche, the closest we’ve come to locating the end of Graham Potter’s tether, footballing events that are too big to be “sliding-doors moments”, an incredible deployment of “for my sins”, some glorious proverbial-cotton-wool confusion and Richard Keys christens Everton’s new home.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com
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48:53
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48:53
Champion flatulence, football punditry sat navs & Sean Dyche X Big Sam
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Jon Champions lowers the commentary tone in the Champions League qualifiers, Sky Sports' on-screen butchering of the embryonic Premier League table, a classic football geography error in Sherlock & Co, a sat-nav voiced by a football pundit and the maximum number of footballing "times of asking".
Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Sean Dyche's date with destiny: a long-awaited appearance on Sam Allardyce's podcast.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com
Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Match of the Day's non-evolution, the opening-weekend Premier League verdicts on who to fear for/who'll be fine, the concept of “knocking on the door" of the opposition, a low-key early contender for "game’s gone" moment of the season, a finely-poised "watching football on holiday" dilemma, refereeing clampdowns down in Sunday league, Nigel Farage's unconvincing football campaign and Stockley Park's latest crisis.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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52:45
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52:45
8.55 seconds in Wrexham, Celeste's Sky Sports flame is out & niche 2025-26 predictions
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the nichest world record in football is shattered once again, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's ex-footballer/Strictly contestant spiel, the extinguishing of Celeste’s five-year Sky Sports flame, why Dominic Calvert-Lewin to Leeds just feels so right, throwaway footballspeak in Homer’s Iliad and the Robert Earnshaw of bedwetting.
Meanwhile, the panel run through some niche Premier League predictions for 2025-26, including the first 10 guests on Monday Night Football.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker.
Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN
Ireland