Recovery Elevator

• RE 520: The Next Party Begins

  Today we have Kathy. She is 57 years old from Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on October 21st, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   Registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens today, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.   Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.   [02:43] Thoughts from Paul:   At the end of last week's episode, I discussed how certain chapters in our lives might be closing, particularly those involving drinking and all the associated antics. As Yung Pueblo poetically expressed, endings are a natural part of life. The universe thrives on cycles, where every beginning anticipates an eventual end. Embrace this closure, grieve it, if necessary, write a farewell letter and consign it to the flames if it helps. But remember, alongside the end of the partying comes the end of hangovers, bloating, puffy eyes, heartburn, and a myriad of other unpleasant side effects.   Let yourself mourn the end of this chapter. For me, the cessation of drinking heralded a new beginning in September 2014. Let's explore what awaits after setting the bottle aside—a life free from elevated liver enzymes.   Five months ago, I asked our Instagram followers to describe sobriety in three words. The prevailing themes were peace, energy, and presence. I can't predict your future, but I can assure you that whatever it holds, you'll face it with more vitality, tranquility, and mindfulness. This journey is far from solitary, as more Americans are reducing their alcohol intake.   So, as one party ends, another begins, brimming with the promise of a healthier, more vibrant life.   [06:09] Paul introduces Kathy:   Kathy is 57 years old, is divorced and lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husky mix named Mario. She works in big data analytics. For fun, Kathy enjoys walking her dog, hiking, riding a mountain bike, kayak and read. She enjoys memoirs, thrillers and enjoys Quit Lit.   Kathy says her drinking was in the moderate category for many years. In her forties she became part of a friend group that enjoyed drinking and spending time on the lake together. Kathy was comfortable letting her hair down and didn’t have any fears of becoming an alcoholic.   Kathy did begin to question her drinking after it started noticeably affecting her sleep and how she felt the next day. She explored some Quit Lit and since her drinking didn’t look like the author’s, Kathy decided it wasn’t bad enough to stop completely but would try to cut back a bit and skip days here and there.   When Kathy was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, the doctors put her on pills she couldn’t drink with. It was a relief to her to have to stop, but was surprised how little support others would have for her not drinking. After her oncologist told her she could drink a little, she started drinking again. A constant cycle of ramping up and ramping down began.   After some issues with her white blood count, Kathy had to quit for three weeks awaiting a blood test. She decided to join Café RE for support to quit drinking. Kathy really identifies with gray area drinking and has found stories from other people helpful in continuing her pursuit of quitting drinking. She prefers her life without alcohol and hopes to continue. She says her sleep has improved and she looks forward to lifting weight again, traveling and being cancer-free.   Kathy’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re questioning it, just start talking to sober people, join Café RE, seek out more podcasts, whatever.     Recovery Elevator Alcohol is shit and we both know it. I love you guys.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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• RE 519: Oh My

  Today we have Nick. He is 41 and lives in Richfield, MN. He took his last drink on November 8th, 2023.   In one week, registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.   Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.   Sponsors for this episode include:   Better Help – 10% off of your first month   [03:19] Thoughts from Paul:   Imagine if aliens were cruising the universe and made a stop on planet Earth and they saw human beings drinking a substance that appeared to be damaging their lives.   But first, this is revealing of the power of the unconscious mind, or the paradigms in our society. If you take crack, cocaine, heroin and meth and right off the bat it’s like, yeah, that will fuck your life up. But with alcohol, which has the data to show it’s the most dangerous drug on the planet, it’s flipped. Thankfully the correct messaging is starting to come out, but we have a way to go still.   Paul shares what he imagines would be the conversation between aliens and humans as they begin to ask questions about why we humans are consuming a toxic substance that has no health benefits and leaves them incapacitated the next morning.   [08:24] Paul introduces Nick:   Nick is married with three young children. He says he is a pop culture aficionado. He enjoys hunting, fishing, camping and spending time at their cabin a few hours away. Nick is big into fitness as well.   Being around alcohol was a normal thing for Nick growing up. He drank some in high school but hit the ground running in college with all the typical vices. He says he never had any major consequences and did well in school. The “work hard, play hard” mentality ran strong even after college.   Nick met his wife on a flight and soon after they began a long-distance relationship. Around this time Nick says his drinking was causing some negative behavior and people were noticing. A comment from his dad had Nick feeling some embarrassment so he started trying to moderate his drinking by limiting his consumption while socializing but drinking more at home alone. After attempting to moderate with the use of an app, Nick found himself drinking more in secret. He and his wife would have conversations about it, but he wasn’t ready to quit. Nick was hiding bottles of alcohol throughout the house and drinking daily and going out less, so it wasn’t as obvious to others that he had an issue. It was a constant battle in his mind.   One afternoon, Nick drove with his wife to pick up their daughter from preschool. When he came out of the school, his wife had taken the driver’s seat. He had driven to the school drunk, and she decided enough was enough. She took them to the police station and had him arrested. When he came by the house the next day he expected her to kick him out but instead she hugged him and shared she just wanted him to get better.   Nick was able to stay sober for three months, but wasn’t doing it for himself so it didn’t stick. His drinking ended up worse than ever after that until he finally hit rock bottom. He wasn’t doing well physically or mentally at this point. He woke one morning and decided to go to treatment that week.   Nick threw himself into treatment and experimented with several modalities. In the past he was resistant to AA but now embraces it as an abundant resource and enjoys the community. Nick’s health has greatly improved, and he has been able to get off of all medications in addition to ditching the booze. Fitness is his medicine now, Nick says.   Nick’s parting piece of guidance: You can do it. Do it for yourself, don’t do it for someone else.   Recovery Elevator Alcohol is shit and we both know it. I love you guys.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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• RE 518: Your Idea of Good Evolves

  Episode 518 – Your Idea of Good Evolves   Today we have Ashley. She’s 25 years old from Spokane, WA and took her last drink on September 22nd, 2024.   Sponsor for this episode:   Better Help – 10% off your first month   This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.   Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica.   [03:17] Thoughts from Paul:   Quoting Yung Pueblo, “Maturity is knowing that endings are a part of life. Jobs change, who you hang out with changes. Your idea of what is ‘good’ evolves. An ending is a sign that you’re opening a new chapter.”   There’s a saying in this space that we stop maturing when our drinking becomes problematic. When alcohol begins to take over every aspect in our lives, our maturation is halted. Our idea of what is good evolves, but it doesn’t evolve when we keep labeling booze as a good time.   Start using your brain to build your alcohol-free life in your mind. Eventually the universe will line up to make this happen, in fact, it’s already happening. Think about the podcast you are listening to and how you got here. You’re probably way further down this journey than you think.   [07:30] Paul introduces Ashley:   Ashley lives in Spokane, WA and works for a cleaning business. She enjoys crafting and journaling. Right now she is working on a scrapbook that looks like a Vision Board for 2025.   Ashley says she didn’t really drink until college. When COVID shut everything down in 2020, Ashley was a junior in college and had just turned 21. She was living alone in a studio apartment and got to drink the way that she wanted to drink. When she noticed her drinking ramp up, she started to cut it back a bit.   After the shutdown was lifted, Ashley started bartending and didn’t want to drink much on the job. That shifted a bit when she changed jobs and was working at a brewery where she and other coworkers would take drinking breaks while on their shift. Over time she recognized she was drinking too much and tried to moderate at least at work.   Ashley began to recognize that she didn’t like that she was becoming very cynical while at this job. She talked to her partner about it, and he encouraged her to leave the job since it was affecting her so negatively. Ashley took the time off after quitting to do whatever she wanted and saw her drinking increase. She would hide her bottles so her partner wouldn’t see how much she was actually drinking.   On the day of her last drink, Ashley and her partner had gone out and bar hopped. Ashley ended up blacking out and when she woke up, her partner was gone. She could not remember most of the night before and wasn’t sure  what was going to happen next but knew she could no longer drink.   Ashley says the first two days were full of anxiety, but she just focused on one day at a time. She distracted herself with movies and video games. At therapy that week, she shared where she was with alcohol for the first time. Her therapist recommended the I Am Sober app which Ashley found very helpful. The cravings have decreased over the last few months and when they do happen, she plays the tape forward. Since quitting Ashley says her depression and anxiety has reduced dramatically. She has more energy, and her routines have become more consistent. Ashley is happy to find she can still socialize even without alcohol.   Ashley’s parting piece of guidance: it is important for you to look inside yourself and see if it’s actually something you want to do or if you’re afraid to do it, maybe look into why you’re afraid to do it.   Recovery Elevator Rule 22, let’s lighten up, not take ourselves too seriously. I love you guys. We can do this.   RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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• RE 517: Protect Your Sobriety Like a Child

  Episode 517 – Protect Your Sobriety Like it’s Your Kid   Today we have Cindy. She is 36 years old, lives in Los Angeles, CA and took her last drink on December 31st, 2023.   Sponsor for this episode:   Better Help – 10% off your first month   Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we’ve got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar.   This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.   [03:11 Thoughts from Paul:   A member of Café RE shared that their therapist told them to protect their own sobriety like it was one of their own children, especially in the delicate stages at the beginning. Everything good that comes your way in life will be anchored to your sobriety.   This seed, that perhaps today is tender, raw and vulnerable, can grow up to provide shade for others. This seed that you are nurturing will provide life, care and love to others in the very near future. This may seem like a lot of pressure, but here’s the cool thing: we are not worried about watering the seed tomorrow, we’re taking it one day at a time. That’s it.   Listeners, thank you for being here, together we are infinitely stronger.   [06:40] Paul introduces Cindy:   Cindy is 36 years old and lives outside the city of LA. She works in a hospital and has been with her husband for 13 years. They have a cat named Murphy.   Cindy recalls her first real experience with alcohol was when she was 14 or 15. Her friend knew someone who was visiting, and they had a hotel room. While there she drank a whole glass of vodka straight because she didn’t know how to drink. The night was a disaster, Cindy says. From that point on Cindy says she never had an off switch.   After high school Cindy started working and taking classes at a community college. She discovered the party scene, had a fake ID and knew people that could get her into clubs. When she was 20, Cindy first voiced her thoughts that she had a problem with alcohol. Her friend reassured her that they were young and that’s what young people do.   After meeting her husband, they bonded over going out to new restaurants and bars together. Cindy says her drinking calmed down a bit because she had someone to help her rein it in. The moderation attempts started at this point in time.   In 2017, Cindy fell into a deep depression. She says nothing specific triggered it, but says alcohol had a lot to do with it. One evening she called the suicide hotline just to talk to someone and came to realize it was time for some therapy. Her current therapist is the first person she told about her alcohol problem since she was 20. She says talk therapy is helpful for seeing a different perspective.   Before quitting drinking, Cindy’s schooling required her to attend different meetings. She says it was an eye-opening experience. Soon after, Cindy committed to Dry January. She looks back at the first 30 days and uses it as motivation to keep going. Her advice to people that are currently doing Dry January is to play the tape forward and consider what it might look like if they drink again.   Cindy says her anxiety has decreased and she has learned to be kinder to herself. She tries to just take one task at a time and ask, “what things do I need to take care of today?” Focusing on the present moment and meditation has helped her a lot in addition to therapy and time at the beach.   Cindy’s parting piece of guidance: if you have an inkling that anything is an issue, listen to that voice – your gut instinct is telling you something.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys.   RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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• RE 516: The Source of Pain

  Episode 516 – The Source of Pain   Today we have Hattie. She is 34 years old from South London, UK, and she took her last drink on April 25th, 2021.   Sponsors for this episode include:   Better Help – 10% off your first month   Sober Link - get a promo code for $50 off of the device.   Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. We’ve got space for 12 guys.   Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we’ve got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar.   [03:57] Thoughts from Paul:   Ask the Magic 8 Ball “is alcohol the primary source of my pain?” and the responses will be “it is certain” “it is decidedly so” “without a doubt” and “yes, definitely”.   Of course, alcohol is causing the pain. It’s the most destructive and addictive substance on the planet and for some strange reason it’s still in our face daily with advertising everywhere.   You want to start viewing alcohol similarly to how you would look at a moldy, half-eaten hoagie sandwich on a park bench: you wouldn’t touch that sandwich, let alone eat it. The tricky part is that our addiction lies to us in our own voice and do it’s best to convince you that alcohol is the source of relief rather than pain. Which it can be at first, but inevitably that doesn’t last long.   But your life is not over when you quit drinking. A better chapter is just beginning.   [09:24] Paul introduces Hattie:   Hattie grew up in a place called New Forest where there are wild ponies and pigs. She now lives in London with her husband and two young children. Hattie works in sustainability and also has set up Sober Happy Free on Instagram and TikTok sharing her story around sobriety.   Hattie says she took her first drink at 14. Her alcohol seeking behavior began quickly thereafter. She says alcohol helped her with confidence and feeling comfortable with herself. Drinking was more of a need than a want, she says. She says at this age it was easy to consider the drinking normal but knew that drinking alone or secretly would be a problem.   When Hattie was around 26, she was introduced to cocaine which allowed her to drink more and drink longer. Hattie says she did not have any authentic connections with people at this time. There was not a corner of her life that alcohol didn’t touch.   Even once getting pregnant, which she and her husband were trying to do, she looked at the test and wondered “how on earth am I not going to drink?” Hattie made it through the pregnancy but was drinking as soon as she could after and says she was right back where she started.   Seeing a lot of people talking about Dry January online inspired Hattie to give it a try. She continued after the month ended, but never planned to quit entirely and was planning dates that she would allow herself to drink. Hattie got a sobriety coach and ended up not drinking for four months. The day that she decided to have a drink, she found herself on the phone with a friend who was in AA saying she couldn’t do it anymore.   Hattie joined AA and found community. She still stays involved in it now at over three years sober. She has a sponsor, and they worked through the 12 steps together. Hattie’s advice around AA is to go into it with an open mind.   For Hattie, year one was about changing her lifestyle. Year two was more about discovery as she tried new hobbies and experiences. Hattie says year three has been about giving back to the community by way of chairing meetings and starting her sober social media accounts. She is passionate about breaking the stigma of alcohol abuse.   Hattie’s parting piece of guidance:  If alcohol is dominating your life or playing a negative role in it, the best thing you can do is get sober.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you’ve gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this.   RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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