The Big Drink Rethink

What if the life you’re chasing, and the drinking that comes with it, are both keeping you from the life you really want?
In this honest conversation, Anna Donaghey welcomes recovery and transition coach Alina Roselli, who shares her journey from living “outside-in” - seeking validation, people-pleasing and pushing through burnout, to soul-led sobriety and deep self-acceptance.
Together, they explore why we can lose ourselves trying to meet other people’s expectations, how burnout and exhaustion can force us to question the life we’re living, and why transformation isn’t simply about giving up alcohol, it's about discovering who you are without it.
They also explore self-worth, radical honesty, the trap of external validation and practical ways to start living more “inside-out”.
For anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol, their sense of purpose, or whether there could be more to life, this episode offers an invitation to stop chasing approval and start coming home to yourself.
Highlights:
00:00 Welcome & introduction to Alina Roselli
00:40 Alina’s unraveling, burnout, alcohol and not knowing herself
02:46 The culture of drinking and starting at 15
05:55 Seeking belonging and landing in “image-driven” circles
10:07 What is “outside-in” living and how it shaped Alina’s self worth
12:28 When alcohol shifts from fun to medicine
15:46 How self-image creates our lives (and can keep us lost)
16:43 Burnout as a wake-up call
17:40 Trying everything (yoga, therapy, self-help) but not getting better
23:27 Filling the “God-shaped hole” - how misaligned living leaves us empty
26:04 Making hard changes and letting go of old identities
28:46 Why inside-out living is terrifying and ultimately liberating
30:10 “Pain pushes until the vision pulls”: learning to listen to your soul
32:43 Finding calm, silence, and the right conditions to truly meet yourself
34:19 Discovering introversion, the need for solitude, and creative renewal
36:29 How the small actions revealed a bigger self and a life worth keeping
39:32 How to reconnect with your needs and stop abandoning yourself
41:36 The courage in honesty and the gifts waiting in the unknown
43:42 Acceptance, creativity, and the joy of simply feeling okay
46:35 Becoming yourself changes the world around you
49:33 People have no idea how amazing they are
50:19 How to join The Big Drink Rethink community.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Alina Roselli:
Alina is a recovery and transition coach who believes we are in an epidemic of not knowing who we truly are. Through her recovery and coaching work, she is witnessing firsthand how most people are living as smaller versions of themselves without knowing it. She's developed Soul Coordinates, a portrait that bypasses the mind entirely and reveals who you actually are underneath the survival strategies. Her online community and course, The Naked Soul Path on Skool, is an accessible way to come home to yourself in community. Her own journey through burnout, addiction recovery and self loss is the source of everything she offers

Connect with Alina: https://www.alinaroselli.com/

What if your drinking habits aren’t really about alcohol at all, but about the quiet, powerful beliefs sitting beneath the surface? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey dives into the “Pyramid of Belief”, a simple framework that explains how deeply-rooted feelings of “not enough” shape much of our behaviour, including drinking.
Using lived experience and insights from Dave Gray’s "Liminal Thinking," Anna breaks down how our early experiences, the culture we grow up in, and the swirl of online comparison, all reinforce beliefs like “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not interesting enough,” and “I’m not enough, full stop.” She explores why alcohol so often becomes the go-to answer for the emotional discomfort those beliefs trigger and guides listeners through the first, vital steps to uncovering what they’re really thirsty for.

Highlights:
00:00 Welcome & intro
00:40 The "not enough" beliefs we rarely examine
01:13 Why this episode isn’t (really) about alcohol at first
02:14 What is the Pyramid of Belief
05:04 How our minds filter reality
05:57 How a single shame-triggering moment forms a core belief
09:03 Why you’re not flawed and how “not enough” beliefs got there
10:30 Anna Donaghey’s own formative “not smart enough” moment
13:39 The modern "comparison machine"
14:20 How alcohol soothes the “not enough” wound
16:15 Key question: “What is my drinking actually trying to answer for me?”
16:27 Find your own “I’m not enough” belief
17:47 What “I need...” before a drink reveals about your core beliefs
17:59 Why pinning down beliefs (not just thoughts) is tricky
18:42 Announcing a series exploring specific “not enough” beliefs
19:37 None of this is your fault
20:23 Resources & how to join The Big Drink Rethink community.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

Why does alcohol seem to have a different, more intense pull for some people - and could undiagnosed ADHD be the missing piece of the puzzle? In this episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Matt Wing, a midlife mentor who spent over 30 years in a cycle of high achievement and high-functioning drinking, before a late ADHD diagnosis reframed everything.

Together, they explore the misunderstood relationship between ADHD and alcohol use, bust the myth that it’s a simple willpower problem, and break down the real, neurological drivers behind compulsive drinking.

Highlights:
00:00 Intro: Meet Matt Wing, midlife mentor, exploring ADHD and alcohol
01:13 Decades of "normal" drinking and the invisible exhaustion under it
04:45 Compulsive self-fixing, failed solutions, and obsessive searching
06:12 The pink book, ADHD traits, and why self-help didn't always land
10:21 ADHD as a chronic dopamine deficit
11:08 Instant dopamine hits: why nothing's enough
12:44 Why attempts to cut down usually fail: it's not a "willpower" issue
15:03 Alcohol's social acceptance hides its true addictiveness
18:02 ADHD drinking: urgency, intensity, and chasing the unattainable
23:19 Why 4pm is the real problem, not "having a drink problem"
24:16 Racing head syndrome: alcohol as the only "off switch" that works
29:19 Hyperfocus, the evening crash, and alcohol as relief not reward
31:13 Rejection sensitivity and rejection-sensitive dysphoria in ADHD
33:28 Why social drinking feels so necessary (and so hard to quit)
34:38 "Time blindness": why the ADHD brain struggles with "forever”
43:04 The missed ADHD generation: making sense of the past
46:22 New ways to soothe the nervous system
51:40 Growth mindset: you're not stuck, and social skills can be learned
53:37 ADHD as a superpower if you channel it right
56:40 Where to find Matt Wing and resources to get support.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk
About Matt Wing:
Matt Wing is the founder of Midlife Mentor, a coaching and content brand for midlife adults who want to change their relationship with alcohol without calling themselves an alcoholic or sitting in a recovery group. He's the creator of the 4PM Reset Method, built around the idea that most people don't have a drinking problem, they have a 4PM problem: the daily window where old habits take over. Matt speaks from experience, not theory, and has helped clients through his 30-Day Reset, 90-Day Deep Work, and 1:1 coaching programmes. He shares free tools and weekly insight through his newsletter, The Friday Feeling, and on Instagram @midlife.mentor, where he's built a community of over 100,000 followers.
Connect with Matt:
Website: https://www.midlifementor.me/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mentor

Why do high-flying CEOs, investors, and ultra-successful leaders, people with every resource at their fingertips, still end up stuck, lonely, and reaching for a drink?
In this episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Lindsey Frances, a leadership psychologist. Together they unpack the universal experience of feeling trapped by drink, the myth that outer success delivers inner fulfilment, and why human suffering pays no attention to your bank balance.
Is the pull to drink really about stress, status, or socialising, or is it something deeper: unmet needs for purpose, connection, and calm? As Lindsey and Anna discover, real change starts with a single question: what are you truly thirsty for?
Highlights:
00:00 Intro: High achievers & high-functioning alcohol use
02:03 What boardrooms and AA rooms have in common
05:15 The trap: shame, disconnection, and feeling unworthy
06:09 Why suffering feels the same in £1000 shoes or 99p flip-flops
09:36 Success as an external “cage”; failing on the inside
12:14 Coping at the top: alcohol and other numbing strategies
13:32 Addiction is disconnection, so what comes first?
15:13 Alcohol as a (false) shortcut to connection and significance
17:06 What are people really thirsty for? Purpose, enough-ness, & joy
22:30 Why high achievers can’t just “stop”
26:12 Sophrology and imagining a life beyond work (and drinking)
30:27 What does constant “fight or flight” feel like?
36:31 Why you can’t biohack your way out of pain
40:08 Universal issues, whether you run hedge funds or trim hedges
45:08 Simple, accessible tools for regulating your nervous system
48:01 “Simple, but not easy”: choosing your hard
49:20 Lindsey’s own journey - making sense of emotions after quitting
54:09 Andrew Lloyd Webber’s story: why sobriety trumps career success
54:55 Serving others, and the real sources of flourishing
55:23 Where to find Lindsey Frances and resources for sophrology

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk
About Lindsey Frances:
Lindsey Frances is a clinical sophrologist, legacy and wealth psychologist, preventative health expert and data-led performance coach, helping high performers, CEOs and investors master financial and emotional stress, sleep and self-regulation through a unique blend of sophrology, biometrics and behaviour change psychology.
In 2021, she opened a private sophrology cabinet on the Alpine French-Swiss border, where she has since guided clients ranging from cross-border executives and athletes to burnout recoverers towards calmer nervous systems and more sustainable performance.

Connect with Lindsey:
Website: https://www.lindseyfrances.co.uk/

What if all the sleep scores, step counts, and readiness reports in the world still leave you missing the point? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey unpacks the paradox of our “self-quantified” age: we collect endless data about our bodies, yet remain confused about why we reach for that Friday night drink.
Why do so many of us meticulously track our health and download optimisation apps, but still pour a glass (or two) at the end of the week even though the data says it’s a bad idea? Anna explains why metrics alone can’t change behaviour and why the real question isn’t “What does the data show?” but “What are you truly thirsty for?”

Highlights:
00:00 Intro: Obsessed by health data but still drinking?
00:44 The archetype: data-obsessive, wine-on-Friday person
02:04 We’re more quantified, and less self-aware, than ever
03:21 Data isn’t enough to change behaviour
05:30 We’ve stopped asking about causes and focus on numbers instead
06:53 The wine and wellness routines: same job, different means
07:33 Understanding your body is useful but it’s only the doorway
08:23 The answer is found in your life, not your data
09:45 The core unmet needs that drive drinking
10:06 Meeting your deeper needs transforms your relationship with alcohol
10:44 The real question: what is this drink telling me about my life?
11:29 Next week: Lindsey Frances using data as the start, not the end, of self-discovery
12:11 The question to sit with: not your sleep score but what are you thirsty for?

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk