More on Healing Intimacy After Betrayal with Debby Wade
In this follow-up conversation, Rusty and Heather continue their discussion with certified sex therapist Debby Wade as they discuss the real questions couples face when rebuilding intimacy after betrayal. Debby offers clear, compassionate guidance on navigating triggers, creating emotional safety, supporting one another in the healing process, and learning to reconnect without pressure or fear. Her insight helps couples understand what healthy intimacy looks like as trust is restored and hope begins to rise again.
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Visit Debby Wade's Website
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Healing Intimacy After Betrayal with Debby Wade
In this episode, Rusty and Heather welcome certified therapist Debby Wade for an honest and hope-filled conversation about rebuilding intimacy after betrayal. Debby offers wisdom on the questions couples often struggle to voice—navigating triggers, intrusive thoughts, emotional safety, and the slow process of reconnecting after trust has been broken. Her compassionate insight gives couples practical steps for healing and a clearer understanding of how intimacy can be restored in a healthy, honoring way.
The Redeemed Marriage Website
Watch on YouTube
Debby Wade's Website
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From Fixing My Spouse to Surrendering My Heart
There’s a reason certain questions rise to the surface at 2:00 a.m.—the hour when the house is quiet and the worries feel loudest. One of the questions couples wrestle with most in those restless moments is, “When will my spouse ever change?” It’s a question born from disappointment, discouragement, and the fear that nothing will ever be different.
In this episode, Rusty and Heather gently turn that question in a new direction. Instead of focusing on what a spouse is or isn’t doing, they explore the deeper truth that genuine transformation in a marriage often begins within the heart that is willing to be changed. When a person stops trying to fix or manage their spouse’s growth and instead comes to God with humility, readiness, and expectation, something shifts. A surrendered heart becomes the doorway to peace, clarity, and spiritual growth—even if the circumstances in the marriage haven’t moved yet.
Listeners will hear how preparing one’s own heart creates space for God to work in ways frustration never could. Rusty and Heather describe the difference between waiting for a spouse to become someone new and allowing God to shape one’s own responses, attitudes, and patterns. It’s a hopeful reframe for anyone lying awake at night, exhausted from carrying the weight of change that was never theirs to hold.
There’s hope at 2:00 a.m.
And it starts with a simple shift:
“God, change me first.”
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The Midnight Lie: I Wasn't Enough
We’re continuing our discussion on the questions that keep us awake at 2 a.m.—the ones that every married couple wrestles with at some point, especially those walking through betrayal or trauma.
Last week, Heather opened up about her side of the question, “What’s wrong with me?” This week, Rusty shares his own sleepless nights—the nights filled with questions like, “Why wasn’t I enough?” and “What did I do wrong?”
In this honest conversation, Rusty talks about the haunting thoughts that come when you feel unworthy, unchosen, or powerless to fix what’s been broken. He shares how learning to recognize and replace those lies became one of the most important parts of his personal healing and the redemption of their marriage.
If you’ve ever battled feelings of not being enough—or wondered if your worth could survive what happened—this episode will remind you that shame doesn’t get the final word.
The Redeemed Marriage Website
The Redeemed Marriage YouTube Channel
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When Shame Whispers: What's Wrong With Me?
We all have those 2 a.m. moments—the questions that swirl in our minds when everything feels quiet but our thoughts are loud. This week, Heather leads the conversation with raw honesty about a question she once wrestled with deeply: “What is wrong with me?”
Before her infidelity, she remembers lying awake wondering why she was even entertaining the idea of another life—another marriage—something “different.” She shares what she wishes she could say to you if she could sit in your thoughts during those restless nights, especially in a world where social media constantly whispers, “You deserve more.”
After betrayal, that same question turned darker: “How could I have done something so horrific?” Heather opens up about the shame, guilt, and self-condemnation that can feel crushing after failure—and how she learned to hear truth instead of lies in those moments.
If you’ve ever questioned your worth, your sanity, or your faith in the middle of the night, this episode is for you. You’re not broken beyond repair. There is hope, even at 2 a.m.
The Redeemed Marriage Website
The Redeemed Marriage YouTube Channel
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