I'm launching a new series diving deep into cognitive distortions—those sneaky thinking errors we all fall into—and exploring how they show up at the intersection of psychology and religion.
In this first episode, I tackle "Should/Must statements" with research psychologist Laird Edman. We go way beyond the therapy textbooks to explore how these rigid internal rules can either guide us toward our values or trap us in cycles of shame and perfectionism, examine why our brains evolved to be so rule-obsessed in the first place, and dig into the messy territory of spiritual abuse, purity culture, and religious scrupulosity. We also venture into how different faith traditions—from Orthodox Judaism to Islam to Christianity—grapple with the balance between divine standards and human fallibility.
Whether you're wrestling with unrealistic expectations in your faith community, trying to understand OCD and religious anxiety, or just curious about finding that sweet spot between perfectionism and permissiveness, this conversation offers both psychological insight and practical tools for a more grace-filled approach to life. Plus, Laird shares some surprisingly vulnerable stories about altar calls and guitar playing that'll make you rethink what "good enough" really means.
Laird's Website | Lairdedman.com
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Ireland