As we inch ever-closer to Dark Legion: Hell on Earth, journalist, streamer, and video producer Patrick Gill joins us to pitch a fresh, modern take on the cult classic monster movie C.H.U.D.! What compelled Patrick to rent this movie from the old mail-order Netflix? What does this high-end B-movie have in common with Jaws? How will Patrick, Dylan, and Dalton reimagine it to speak to modern New York? What, if anything, will "C.H.U.D." stand for this time around? Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Start 00:02:18 - Welcome Patrick Gill! 00:05:27 - Why C.H.U.D.? 00:09:13 - Patrick’s Dark Universe credentials 00:15:02 - C.H.U.D. Recap 00:39:17 - Patrick’s pitch for a better C.H.U.D. 01:14:49 - Casting 01:25:30 - Plugs 01:26:41 - Patron Thanks 01:27:55 - Prevues of Coming Attractions
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1:31:03
DU Plus: 5 TV Pitches w/Joseph Fink
Back in 2024, we appointed Welcome to Night Vale co-creator Joseph Fink to be the Dark Universe's Head of Television. Now, he's returned to the show to pitch Dylan & Dalton FIVE new TV ideas that run the gamut from hospital drama to reality competition show! It's a jam-packed one-hour creative jam session like nothing we've done before. Check out Joseph's new podcast The Best Worst, and find out if Welcome to Night Vale's live tour is coming to a city near you this summer, fall, or winter! Our podcast partner this week is The White Meat Podcast, on which filmmaker David Dylan Thomas and a parade of filmmakers, fans, and historians discuss the inspiration and production of his upcoming zombie horror-comedy about the bodies of enslaved people rising from the grave with a powerful and very specific hunger for the flesh of white people. If you like hearing us yammer on about our imaginary movies, go follow someone who's actually making one! TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Start 00:03:21 - Re-introducing Joseph Fink! 00:07:11 - Dr. Frankenstein, MD 00:22:09 - A Graveyard Smash 00:30:34 - Prodigium 00:44:47 - Are You Afraid of the Dark Universe? 00:53:39 - The Invisible Family 01:05:40 - Plugs 01:07:41 - Show announcements!
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1:14:25
Field of Nightmares
Nearly two years ago, Dylan announced that he'd be writing a Dark Universe take on Field of Dreams. Now, for his last solo pitch of the Death's Door Saga, he finally has to pitch it, and it's not remotely the script he initially planned. So, is that a good thing, or a bad thing? What the Hell is Field of Nightmares, and how will it be recieved by Dalton, who has no fondness for the 1989 baseball film on which it's based? PLUS: A quick clip from this month's bonus episode, on which D&D pitch a chapter in the Jenny & Carol saga based on the obscure TV movie Snow White: A Tale of Terror! Dylan would also like to acknowledge the late, great film composer James Horner, whose themes from the original Field of Dreams feature heavily in his score to this episode. TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:32 - Why Field of Dreams? 00:07:28 - Dalton hates Field of Dreams 00:08:57 - A brief Field of Dreams recap 00:11:44 - Fan expectations 00:15:00 - Director choice (or is it?) 00:21:02 - Prologue 00:25:31 - Discussion 00:27:00 - Act One 00:42:57 - Discussion 00:46:46 - Act Two Part One 01:11:01 - Discussion 01:21:23 - Bonus pod clip 01:22:27 - Act Two Part Two 01:31:54 - Discussion 01:38:13 - Act Three 02:03:00 - Mid-Credits scene 02:04:48 - The Post-Credits scene that WASN’T 02:06:02 - Discussion 02:11:15 - The ACTUAL director choice! 02:12:24 - Coming up next… 02:16:02 - Patron acknowledgement
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2:16:57
Waterworld: The Stunt Show w/Danielle Radford
Actor, writer, podcaster, and professional funny person Danielle Radford join the Dark Universe to pitch what might be our most unhinged installment yet. It's not "Waterworld," it's "Waterworld: The Stunt Show... The Movie? Learn how this beloved theme park attraction based on the maligned box office boondoggle found a special place in Danielle's heart, and how we can possible turn this into a franchise extension of our sprawling Dark Universe! Our podcast partner this episode is DC Action News, a new podcast reporting bravely and boldly every Wednesday as the news breaks from the center of the multiverse (by which we mean the DC Comics Universe). Hosted by Alex Jaffe. PLUS: Stick around to the end to hear the new single from Dylan's band No Jersey, "How to Make it In America!" Now streaming wherever you're listening to this. Plus, there's a music video on YouTube. TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Intros 00:03:33 - Introducing the Waterworld Stunt Spectacular 00:16:33 - Danielle talks horror 00:21:17 - I guess we'll also summarize Waterworld the Movie 00:33:25 - Stunt show plot summary 00:45:12 - Break, DC Action News promo, quick Dylan announcement 00:46:28 - Danielle's pitch 00:53:49 - D&D workshop the pitch 00:01:17 - "How to Make It In America" by No Jersey
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1:21:01
The Exorcist
It's Dalton's final solo pitch of the Death's Door Saga, and not coincidentally the bleakest and most disturbing! In the spirit of the original Exorcist and their beloved Exorcist III, Dalton's reimagining is obscene, blasphemous, but also totally sincere and even a little bit profound. Be aware that this episode is not for the faint of heart and we've included a LONG list of content warnings that you should not take lightly. (See: 02:20:17) But, if you like shocking, transgressive horror stories, you may well get a lot out of it. Either way, our next few episodes are guaranteed to be a lot lighter in tone! This episode includes a clip from the latest bonus podcast, which you can check out by joining our Patreon at Patreon.com/DylanAndDalton for as little as $5/month. Start your 7-day free trial today! TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Start 00:03:23 - Fan Expectations 00:11:11 - Trigger Warnings 00:13:13 - Dylan’s Expectations 00:14:49 - Director Choice 00:17:57 - Act One - Station 1: Jesus is Condemned to Death 00:24:46 - Discussion 00:27:28 - Station 2: Jesus Takes Up His Cross 00:38:49 - Discussion 00:42:37 - Station 3: Jesus Falls for the First Time 00:47:17 - Station 4: Jesus Meets His Mother 00:48:16 - Discussion 00:52:14 - Act Two - Station 5: Simon of Cyrene Helps Jesus Carry the Cross 00:58:35 - Discussion 00:59:58 - Station 6: Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus 01:05:31 - Discussion 01:08:10 - Station 7: Jesus Falls for the Second Time 01:12:54 - Discussion 01:18:21 - Station 8: Jesus Meets the Women of Jerusalem 01:25:36 - Discussion 01:28:11 - Station 9: Jesus Falls for the Third Time 01:35:40 - Station 10: Jesus is Stripped of His Garments 01:37:14 - Discussion 01:39:39 - Act Three - Jesus is Nailed to the Cross, AKA the Three Hours’ Agony 01:53:38 - Discussion 02:01:06 - Station 12: Jesus Dies on the Cross 02:04:08 - Station 13: Jesus is Taken Down from the Cross 02:08:27 - Station 14: Jesus is Laid in the Tomb 02:10:59 - Station 15: The Resurrection of Jesus 02:17:14 - Discussion 02:20:17 - Trigger Warnings (SPOILERS) 02:22:27 - Discussion
Horror writer Dalton Deschain and film critic Dylan Roth are tasked with reviving the short-lived Dark Universe of horror movies, pitching each other a new installment in a Marvel-style grand opus featuring Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Mummy.
This podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Universal Pictures but it's funnier if you pretend that it is.
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