Can’t Cope

• #6: No Trial, No Mercy. People Who Deserve 40 Years (Minimum)

  Kelsey and Rebecca are handing out sentences this week - no trial, no mercy. It’s time to lock up the worst offenders of everyday life, from people with zero manners to gym creeps hovering over machines. If you’re guilty, consider this your official warning.Kelsey kicks things off with a gym-rage rant about men stalking her treadmill time, while Rebecca goes straight for the real criminals… people who don’t say please and thank you. Were you raised in the wild? The girls also tackle the shameless chancers who only text when they need something, disrespectful partners who treat their significant others like household staff, and the energy vampires who hate fun, joy, and anyone who dares enjoy life.Things take a turn when Kelsey reveals her latest TikTok violation for simply existing with big boobs, and Rebecca refuses to let men off the hook for thinking women can get pregnant 30 days a month. The audacity is at an all-time high, and the girls are not holding back.If you’ve ever had to endure public transport speakers blasting awful music, been forced into a conversation with someone who never asks how you are, or found yourself raging at a fully grown adult refusing to acknowledge basic human decency, this episode is for you. Expect rants, roasts, and absolutely no parole for the worst offenders. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  --------  

  57:12
• #5: St. Patrick, The Pied Piper & Absolute Scandal at London Zoo

  It’s St. Patrick’s week, which means Kelsey and Rebecca are embracing their Irishness, well, as much as they can while sitting in two different countries.Rebecca is sipping a cocktail in a hotel robe in Rome, but it hasn’t all been glamorous. The wild ride of grief has hit hard, and seeing things that reminded her of being there with her father has been brutal. Life is peaks and troughs, but honestly? The girls would love a few more peaks.Meanwhile, Kelsey is in London and reeling from the absolute scandal at London Zoo, where things got so dramatic that staff are no longer allowed to socialise together. A workplace romance involving a hunky llama keeper, an ex, and an actual glassing. Saint Patrick himself could not have predicted this level of madness.Somehow, the conversation veers from St. Patrick to the Pied Piper, because why stop at one mythical man who led creatures away? The girls also chat about Seachtain na Gaeilge and how it feels to embrace the Irish language (or fail spectacularly at it). It’s Irish pride, Roman spirals, zoo bans, and far too many tangents. Grab a pint, embrace the madness, and enjoy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  --------  

  55:25
• #4: Boobs for Beads, Pancakes for Jesus & A Life-Altering Sacrifice

  Lent, Mardi Gras, and Rebecca questioning why people willingly deprive themselves of things when life is already hard enough.Kelsey and Rebecca are still in London after a nice, civilised family dinner, but civility goes out the window the second they hit record.Rebecca is spiralling over her addictive tendencies, which now include Rescue Remedy, Vicks MicroMist, and aggressively vaping for no reason. She knows she should quit, but it’s not looking likely. Meanwhile, Kelsey can’t cope with Elon Musk’s obsession with repopulating the planet and is considering giving up her little sweet treat for Lent. Rebecca, on the other hand, is giving up absolutely nothing because she simply doesn’t believe in suffering.Then it’s Mardi Gras talk, where the beads-for-boobs tradition gets discussed in great detail. Rebecca reckons if she took her top off, not a single soul would notice, while Kelsey is fairly certain she’d accidentally flatten three people. This naturally (obviously?) leads to a Would-You-Rather about giving up food or sex. Rebecca’s main concern? Making sure that even if she couldn’t eat, her life would be sustained. Kelsey? Weighing up the pros and cons.Kelsey accidentally launches an ASMR career, Rebecca is somehow running for Mayor of Fermoy, and both of them are off to The Prince of Wales for a pint, because this much nonsense requires refreshments. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  --------  

  47:08
• #3: First Shift on the Back of the Bus & Hear Me Out… Tom Jones

  First kisses. Cringey, terrifying, and in some cases, highly organised. Rebecca recalls her militant first shift, because at that age, you just had to get it over with. Meanwhile, Kelsey’s was peak Irish culture: at the back of the bus, obviously.Then, somehow, they end up discussing Sir Tom Jones (hear Rebecca out), Kelsey relives how Rebecca ruined Sabrina Carpenter’s Espresso within hours of its release, and they get slightly derailed by the fact that Viagra is freely available, while women can’t even get antibiotics for basic health issues.Oh, and Rebecca might have a very controversial take on Paul Mescal’s level of stardom. You’ve been warned. No plan, no theme, just an absolute scream and questionable opinions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  --------  

  48:33
• #2: Buses, Butterflies & Certain Death

  Irrational fears, everyone has them, but some are more unhinged than others.Before getting into the madness, Rebecca shares a shambolic leftover story from Episode 1, because apparently, her Valentine’s disasters didn’t end there. This one involves an ex, a 5-minute reunion in Killarney, and the absolute state of a “To My Girlfriend” card from a man who was, in fact, not her boyfriend (nor would he ever be). Naturally, this reminds Kelsey of the opposite nightmare, an ex who actually was her boyfriend but handed her a birthday card that read “To My Friend.”Then, the girls dive into irrational fears, and a clear pattern emerges: Rebecca’s are catastrophic, life-threatening and straight out of a Final Destination movie, while Kelsey’s are… butterflies and jelly. Rebecca is convinced she’ll die in a freak bus crash into a river, a bathtub disaster straight out of Coronation Street, or a roof collapsing at any moment, while Kelsey just wants to live in a world where she doesn’t have to think about winged creatures, questionable food textures or the deep psychological horror that is claymation.It’s deranged, outrageous, and full of non stop laughter - if nothing else, at least you’ll feel less mad about your own irrational fears. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  --------  

  52:13

More Comedy podcasts

Trending Comedy podcasts

About Can’t Cope