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Episode #63: The Undivided Heart: Catholic Parts Work with Jared Schiemer

Steve O’Connor opens the episode by introducing the saint of the day on recording, St. Clare of Montefalco, and connecting her inward, Christ-centered self-examination to “parts work” as a path to healing. 
He interviews Jared Schiemer, a certified life coach trained in IFS-informed parts work, who explains how he discovered the modality through somatic-based sessions, therapy, and training with IFS founder Dr. Richard Schwartz, describing it as faster and more experiential than traditional talk therapy. 
Jared outlines core IFS concepts (Self and parts such as managers, firefighters, and exiles), emphasizes “No Bad Parts,” and discusses regulation, validation, and meeting needs to reduce shame, compulsions, anger, and relapse risk. 
They address Catholic compatibility through Scripture and Dr. Gerry Crete’s Litanies of the Heart Book and the Souls and Hearts Community, then announce a 16-week Catholic men’s group, The Undivided Heart.

00:00 Welcome 
01:06 Saint Clare Spotlight
02:24 Parts Work Invitation
03:34 Meet Jared Schiemer
05:30 How Jared Found IFS
10:24 What Parts Work Is
17:51 Self Leadership and Needs
21:32 Firefighters and Regulation
25:18 Is IFS Catholic
28:19 The Self and Shame
34:14 Sobriety, Anger + Empathy
39:12 Undivided Heart Program
43:38 Info Night and Closing

FREE INFO SESSION - Monday, August 24 at 8PM ET
Curious about the Undivided Heart Program? Join Steve and Jared for a FREE, live info session on Monday, August 24 at 8PM Eastern. This is your chance to ask questions, get a feel for the work, and find out if this program is the right next step for you. Spots are limited for the group. Email Steve directly to get the Zoom link: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
About Jared Schiemer: Jared Schiemer is a certified Life Coach, trained through the Robbins-Madanes Training Center, with additional training in NLP, Human Needs Psychology, and IFS-informed Parts Work. He is a certified FOCCUS pre-marriage and marriage Facilitator and continues his study of Internal Family Systems through the Souls and Hearts Catholic community and IFS Institute.
He is a graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville where he obtained a degree in Business Management and a minor in Psychology. At Franciscan, he deepened his Catholic faith, formed lifelong friendships, and strengthened his relationship with his now-wife, Claire, who is also a graduate of Franciscan University and now works as a mental health therapist and coach. He and Claire have been together for over 14 years, since high school, and have been married for the past seven years.
Jared has also walked his own path through Parts Work, in both therapy and coaching, and experienced what it's like to watch emotions and triggers he'd carried for years dissolve rather than just get managed. That's why he does this work, he's not only trained in the method, he's lived what it can do.
Jared brings a steady presence to men doing this work, meeting every part of themselves with curiosity and compassion. His coaching specialty is connection: helping clients reconnect to themselves, to the people they love, and to their God-given purpose.
About the Undivided Heart Program: The Undivided Heart is a 16-week Catholic Parts Work group for men, co-facilitated by Steve O'Connor and Jared Schiemer. It is built for the Catholic man who has tried everything and is ready to go deeper. Rooted in IFS-informed Parts Work and Litanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry Crete and fully integrated with the Catholic faith, the Undivided Heart helps men identify the wounded parts driving their behavior, build a relationship with those parts and lead with the innermost Self, and experience a kind of freedom that is not white-knuckled but real and tangible.
Starting September 2026. Spots are limited for the group.
To learn more or reserve your spot, email Steve: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
📌 Resources & Links:
Free Info Session - Undivided Heart Program: Monday August 24 at 8PM ET. Email steve@catholicsfightporn.com for the Zoom link
Join Finally Free - CFP's group coaching program for Catholic men: catholicsfightporn.com/groups
Book an intro call with Steve: catholicsfightporn.com/introdiscoverycall
Daily CFP Boost texts — text SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or visit catholicsfightporn.com/dailytext
The Freedom Letter - a daily email newsletter - sign up at catholicsfightporn.com
Full Disclosure support - Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process. Email Steve for more info: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
Covenant Eyes accountability software - Get 30 days free at covenanteyes.com | Promo code: CFP
Wisephone - a safe, locked-down smartphone that's not a flip phone - techless.com/CFP | Promo code: CFP saves $25
Instagram: @catholicrecovery
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Steve O’Connor is Interviewed by Tom Weaver of Come to the Table Ministry.
They discuss emotional sobriety, connection, and an empathy angle related to the 12 Steps.
01:03 Welcome and Retreat Info
03:11 Steve's  Story Recovery and Coaching Story
12:47 Why Empathy Matters
14:09 Sobriety Versus Recovery
19:03 Defensiveness and Patience
22:10 Scripts and Being Prepared
24:19 Connection and AVR Practice
26:40 Daily Check In Calls
27:18 Connection Beats Defensiveness
28:04 12 Steps + Empathy Angle
35:00 Emotional Sobriety Defined
37:52 Call Up Stick With Winners
42:31 Keep Recovery Simple
44:42 Make The Call
47:38 Build Your Recovery Team
HELPFUL LINKS:
Tom + Michele Weaver at Come to the Table Ministries:
-Website here.
-Retreats + Conferences here.
-Their Podcast here.
-Email: info@tableministry.com 
CATHOLICS FIGHT PORN:
-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at:  https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP

-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone!  Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP

-Join the Finally Free Coaching Group: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/need-help

-Book an Intro Discovery Call with Steve: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/contact

-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
-Sign up for the email newsletter at the bottom left of catholicsfightporn.com

-Connect with me on Instagram @catholicrecovery

-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship.  Email Steve for more info.

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What does a sobriety actually look like? In this episode, Steve breaks down the concrete benefits of recovery, not the absence of sin, but the presence of something better. Integrity. Honesty. Hope.  Not living a double life.
One of the greatest and most underrated gifts of sobriety is time spent in a state of grace - sometimes longer than a man has experienced since childhood. 
If you've been wondering whether recovery is real, it is. 
Steve shares some of the many gifts of sobriety and what you actually gain when you quit the behavior.
HELPFUL LINKS:
-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at:  https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP

-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone!  Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP

-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.

-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
-Sign up for the email newsletter at the bottom left of catholicsfightporn.com

-Connect with me on Instagram @catholicrecovery

-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship.  Email Steve for more info.
-Donate to CFP to support this work here.

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We talk a lot about men and p*rnography. But what about the woman sitting three rows back in the same parish, carrying the same secret, with nowhere to turn? And what about the betrayed husband who just discovered his wife is the one struggling? 
In this episode, Steve sits down with Rachael Killackey, founder and executive director of Magdala Ministries and author of Love in Recovery, to have an important conversation. Women struggle with p*rn too. And the way they struggle, the way they hide, and the way they heal is not the same as men. 
This episode is for the woman who needs help and hope. It's for the betrayed husband who just found out his wife is the one struggling. And it's for every priest and counselor who wants to serve the whole room, not just half of it.
In this episode we cover:
How Rachael founded Magdala Ministries and why she chose Mary Magdalene as its patron
Statistics on women and p*rn
How shame hits differently for women, including what often happens when they bring this to confession
Women's pathways into p*rn, including visual content, erotica, hookup culture, and the growing threat of AI
How women heal
The core wounds beneath the behavior and what men and women actually share at the root
Betrayal trauma when the roles are reversed, what the betrayed husband experiences and what he needs
Episode Timestamps:
01:12 — Saint of the Day
04:13 — Meet Rachael Killackey
05:52 — Founding Magdala
07:30 — Why Mary Magdalene
09:22 — Women and P*rnography, The Reality
10:51 — The Statistics on Women's Use
12:23 — Shame and the Confessional
17:05 — Breaking Isolation Together
20:26 — Women's Hook, Imagination and Erotica
22:46 — Prayer as Rewiring
23:45 — Hookup Culture and Its Fallout
26:30 — Culture, Access, and Normalization
29:53 — How Women Heal
32:29 — Mary, Surrender, and the Path Forward
35:20 — The Core Wounds Beneath the Behavior
37:26 — When the Husband Is the Betrayed Spouse
43:35 — What Magdala Ministries Offers
45:22 — Love in Recovery and Words of Hope
About Rachael Killackey: Rachael Killackey is the founder and executive director of Magdala Ministries, the first Catholic ministry of its kind specifically for women healing from sexual addiction. She holds bachelor's and master's degrees in theology from Ave Maria University, is pursuing her certification in sex addiction therapy, and has personally walked with over a thousand women through stories of shame, secrecy, and healing. Her book Love in Recovery is available through Ave Maria Press.
🌐 magdalaministries.org 📖 Love in Recovery - avemariapress.com
HELPFUL LINKS:
-Join amazing groups of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at:  https://www.covenanteyes.com
CODE: CFP

-Get a Wisephone!  Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -https://www.techless.com/CFP

-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.
-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
-Sign up for the email newsletter 
-Donate to CFP

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In 2025, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops released Create in Me a Pure Heart- a landmark document addressing p*rnography, its devastation, and the Church's responsibility to respond. 
In this follow-up conversation with Joshua Urrutia, we go beyond the document itself and into the realities it names: the loneliness driving individuals to p*rnography in the first place, the p*rnography industry's deliberate targeting of children, the betrayal trauma impact on marriages, and what it actually looks like to walk toward healing in all of it.
00:58 Episode Welcome and Guest
01:39 Saints and Recovery Themes
04:09 Bishops Document Overview
05:11 Key Takeaways Loneliness Trauma
06:37 P*rn and Loneliness Stats
11:09 Isolation and Inner Child
15:23 Grooming and Tech Access
18:37 Phone Safeguards and Tools
22:30 Neuroscience of Addiction
25:15 Dopamine And Denial
25:50 Neurobiology Visual Tools
26:58 Betrayal Trauma Explained
28:12 D-Day Discovery Shock
30:41 Patience And Living Amends
33:47 Support Groups And Disclosure
36:23 Helping Others Stay Free
38:45 Practical Recovery Strategies
41:08 Church And Family Action
45:05 Resources And Farewell 
Referenced in this episode: Create in Me a Pure Heart document— United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2025 Available at usccb.org
About Joshua Urrutia: Joshua Urrutia is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate and ASAT Candidate with Intuitus Group in Texas. He holds a Master's in Counseling from Divine Mercy University, is EMDR trained, and is a verified member of the Catholic Psychotherapy Association. Joshua works with individuals and couples navigating compulsive sexual behavior, betrayal trauma, and the intersection of faith and mental health.
Website: intuitus-group.com 
Phone: (512) 650-8018 
Email: joshua@intuitus-group.com
HELPFUL LINKS:
-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at:  https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP

-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone!  Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP

-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.

-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
-Sign up for the email newsletter at the bottom left of catholicsfightporn.com

-Connect with me on Instagram @catholicrecovery

-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship.  Email Steve for more info.
-Donate to CFP