Flying Free

• Understanding Coercive Control and the Harms Inflicted on to Adult and Child Victims [350]

  “He doesn’t hit you, so it must not be abuse.” Yeah, no. That tired old line needs to die.This week, I sat down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a powerhouse expert on coercive control, the kind of abuse that doesn’t leave bruises but instead, destroys lives. Christine breaks down how abusers don't need fists to dominate; they weaponize EVERYTHING from the court system, to churches, to your very own kids.If you’ve ever been dismissed, disbelieved, or labeled “too angry,” this episode is a masterclass in seeing the invisible, calling it what it is, and taking your power back, even if you have to fake it ‘til you make it from the ICU of your life.What You’ll Learn: Why coercive control isn’t a form of abuse, it IS abuse. Period. Full stop.How abusers hide behind charisma, charm, and a well-timed Bible verse.The horrifying way the legal system often rewards abusers and punishes protective moms.How abuse affects children, even when it’s subtle, and especially when it’s court-sanctioned.Why your anger is holy fire, not a character defect.How to start healing and parenting differently, even while walking through hell with a diaper bag.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out Dr. Christine Cocchiola’s website.Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.  Read FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld, Dr. Cocchiola’s co-authored book. Get her free map called Clinical Implications for Children Who Are Coercively ControlledWatch her recent TED Talk: It’s All Coercive ControlChristine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is an expert on the experiences of adult and child victims of coercive control. A college professor teaching social work, she received her doctorate in clinical social work from New York University working under the tutelage of Dr. Evan Stark. She presents nationally and internationally on the concept of coercive control with a focus on educating professionals, advocates, and protective parents, on the experiences of children and best intervention strategies for adult and child victims of coercive control/narcissistic abuse. Her Clinician Certification Training is ASWB approved for 14 CE’s. Dr. C is the creator of The Protective Parenting Program, a therapeutic evidence based attachment focused program for parents of children harmed by abusers and the co-author of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld.

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• Toxic Beliefs That Keep Christian Women From Their True Identity (A Story about a Runner) [349]

  Have you ever felt like life has you wearing a 200-pound emotional backpack labeled “Christian womanhood”? In this episode, I unpack (literally) the toxic beliefs that are holding us back using a metaphorical story about a woman who wants to run, but can’t. Because, surprise! She's lugging around spiritual abuse disguised as Bible truths.You’ll meet Sarah, a fictional but oh-so-familiar woman who stands at the edge of a running trail, paralyzed by invisible weights. Enter Elena, the wise older woman who helps her go full Marie Kondo on her belief system. You’ll want to tattoo some of Elena’s one-liners on your forearm. (Okay maybe just put them on sticky notes.)Key Takeaways:Toxic beliefs often come wrapped in spiritual language. Just because it came from a pulpit or your well-meaning Aunt Kathy doesn’t make it true or helpful.You’re allowed to question what you’ve been taught. Especially if what you’ve been taught keeps you silent, stuck, or scared.Jesus didn’t ask you to carry a crushing load. He said His yoke is easy. Your religious trauma backpack is not that.Replacing lies with truth doesn’t mean you’re sinning. It means you’re healing.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Here are some other related Flying Free Podcast episodes: “12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse” and “The Beliefs that Keep Christian Women Stuck in Abusive Marriages.” 

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• Beautiful Prisons and Golden Lies [348]

  What if that golden cage you're sitting in was never locked? What if all that “God’s will” rhetoric was just fear cosplaying as holiness? In this episode, I tell you a story, a simple one with birds, bars, and just enough metaphorical mic drops to wake up the part of you that’s been sedated by religious gaslighting. Buckle up, buttercup. It’s time to talk about freedom.This isn’t just another chirpy motivational talk. It’s a truth-telling, cage-rattling invitation to examine the lies we’ve been fed about safety, love, and obedience, especially in the name of God. You were made to fly, not decorate someone else’s spiritual furniture.Key Takeaways:The cage was never locked. You've been conditioned to think you're choosing it, but that choice was built on fear, not freedom.That “protection” they sold you? It's control in disguise. And the house full of golden cages? It’s not a sanctuary. It's a system designed to keep you small, scared, and obedient.Even your longing has been demonized. Longing is labeled sin. Discontent? A character flaw. But maybe it’s your soul whispering, “There’s more.”Freedom is risky, but it’s real. There are storms and hawks and hard days out there. But there’s also wind, sky, stars, and the exhilaration of living unchained.Jesus doesn’t lock cages. He flings those suckers open and says, “Come on out, sister. It’s time.”Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:If today’s episode resonated with you, here are some others you may find helpful: “From Trapped to Free in 30 Days” and “Praying for a Miracle—When the Miracle Might Be You Walking Away.”

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• Nine Tricks Emotional Abusers Use to Pull Us Back Into the Cycle (and six clever ways to respond!) [347]

  In this episode, we're taking a look at the classic emotional abuse push-pull cycle that makes us feel like we’re starring in a soap opera we never auditioned for. This one's for the Christian woman who’s been there, twisting herself into a holy pretzel trying to keep the peace, hold the family together, and love like Jesus while getting emotionally sucker-punched by someone who claims to love her. What We Cover: The nine mind-warping tactics emotional abusers use to keep you locked in their circus of dysfunction.Why your loving heart (and need for connection) makes you the perfect target, and why that’s not a flaw.The six empowering, grown-up strategies to unhook yourself from their drama without turning into a fire-breathing dragon.Why explanations are overrated, and how less really is more (especially when you're dealing with a manipulative guilt ninja).How to set boundaries like a boss while still loving people, but from a safe distance.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Liked this episode? Here are some others you might want to check out: “Your Marriage Abuse Cycle Exercise” and “How to Respond to Emotional Abuse Tactics.”

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• Gaslighting and Guilt: Why Christian Women Stay Stuck in Toxic Relationships [346]

  If you’ve ever second-guessed your sanity, asked Google “Is my husband a narcissist or just an annoying human?” or thought you might be sinning by not cheerfully submitting to your own emotional obliteration, this episode is your wake-up call... with love.Christian counselor, Kris Reece, is back on the show for part two of our convo about the toxic mind games that keep Christian women stuck, particularly when Jesus is used as the emotional ball-and-chain.Together, we unravel gaslighting, guilt, spiritual manipulation, emotional immaturity, and why you’re not selfish or sinful for walking away from garbage disguised as godliness.Key Takeaways:Label-Schmabel: Stop obsessing over whether he's a narcissist or just "difficult." The real question is: does he take responsibility or make excuses? That’s your answer.Jesus Isn’t Your Abuser’s Alibi: Jesus didn’t die so you could stay trapped in a soul-sucking relationship. Guilt is a Control Tool: Toxic people weaponize your good-girl guilt to keep you stuck. Change the Dance: You can’t make him change. But you can change the steps you’re taking, and that alone can shift the entire dynamic. You’re Not Powerless: If everything hinges on him, you’re trapped. Shift the focus back to YOU: your choices, your growth, your freedom.Truth Bomb: It’s Not Your Fault: You’re not responsible for his tantrums, beliefs, or abuse. You are responsible for how you respond and whether you keep playing along.Rebuilding Takes Time: Gaslighting screws with your reality. Healing comes as you reconnect with truth, reclaim your identity, and learn to giggle (a little) when grown men act like kindergartners.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Listen to Part One of my interview with Kris.Grab a copy of Kris’ new book, Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip.Get her FREE Narcissist Survival Guide. Check out her YouTube channel.Connect with Kris on Instagram and Facebook.Kris Reece is a Christian counselor, author, and speaker who helps believers break free from toxic relationships and codependency biblically and practically. With over 30 years of combined personal and professional experience, Kris has guided thousands through the emotional wreckage left by narcissistic and manipulative relationships. She blends deep biblical truth with real-world strategies to help others reclaim their identity, rebuild confidence, and walk in the freedom Christ offers. Kris is the author of Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip and host of a fast-growing YouTube channel where she equips Christians to set boundaries, overcome manipulation, break trauma bonds, and heal after toxic relationships.

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