Breaking Free from Narcissistic Moms and Spouses Without the Guilt Bound by Blood or Vows [345]
Is it ever okay to walk away from your own mother… or your husband? (Cue the gasps from the peanut gallery clutching their pearls.) If you grew up in church culture, you probably heard that honoring your parents and submitting to your husband meant swallowing abuse with a smile. But guess what? That’s not actually what Jesus had in mind.In this episode, I sit down with Christian counselor and author Kris Reese (yes, the YouTube powerhouse with over 476,000 subscribers) to dismantle the toxic myths that keep Christian women chained to destructive relationships.Together, we talk about:The big guilt trip – Why Christians confuse “honor” with “obey” and how that keeps grown women stuck in parent-child dynamics with their 70-year-old mothers.The covenant conundrum – What makes walking away from a spouse more complicated, and why wisdom (not religious rule-keeping) is the real key.The fog machine – Fear, obligation, and guilt: the trifecta abusers use to keep you running in circles like a hamster who just discovered Peloton.Boundaries ≠ lack of forgiveness – FACTS: You can forgive your mom and still not show up to her guilt-drenched Sunday dinners. You can forgive your husband and still not share a bed with him while he weaponizes scripture against you.Manipulation tactics 101 – Victimhood and scripture-twisting are the go-to moves of toxic moms and spouses everywhere. (“You’re not being a good daughter/wife” translates to: “My control over you is slipping and I hate it.”)Trauma bonds and porcupines – Why you might be clinging to the emotional equivalent of a barbed-wire teddy bear, and how to finally put it down without losing your sanity.Why Christians stay too long – It’s not because they’re lazy or selfish. It’s because they’ve been conditioned to confuse holiness with masochism.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Go to Kris' website to get on the waitlist so that you're the FIRST to know when her new book, Breaking the Narcissist's Grip, is released!Get her FREE Narcissist Survival Guide. Check out her YouTube channel.Connect with Kris on Instagram and Facebook.Kris Reece is a Christian counselor, author, and speaker who helps believers break free from toxic relationships and codependency biblically and practically. With over 30 years of combined personal and professional experience, Kris has guided thousands through the emotional wreckage left by narcissistic and manipulative relationships. She blends deep biblical truth with real-world strategies to help others reclaim their identity, rebuild confidence, and walk in the freedom Christ offers. Kris is the author of Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip and host of a fast-growing YouTube channel where she equips Christians to set boundaries, overcome manipulation, break trauma bonds, and heal after toxic relationships.
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Two Hotel Rooms: One Rescue Mission [344]
You know how sometimes life gives you lemons and then instead of sugar for lemonade, the church hands you a moldy marriage book and says, “Submit harder”? That was my reality. In this episode, I take you back to a hotel room where I was nine months pregnant and seriously questioning if I wanted to keep living. Instead, I stumbled my way out of despair and into freedom thanks to a stack of books, a laptop, and eventually, the real God (not the mean knock-off version I had been worshiping).What You’ll Learn in This Episode:The two hotel rooms that changed everything: one where I nearly gave up, and one where I finally woke up.How books became my lifelines (thank you, Google rabbit holes).The moment I realized the “god” I was serving looked suspiciously like my abusive husband. Why leaving my marriage also meant leaving behind a toxic image of God.What it really means to be a butterfly (It’s not about fluttering around in a meadow. It’s about fierce, unapologetic freedom).Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Who’s Pushing Your ButtonsFoolproofing Your LifeCheck out a related Flying Free Podcast episode, “We Are Like the God We Worship,” and then check out my comprehensive list of the best books for Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages.
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Out of the Poisoned Pond: Jennie’s Story [343]
What happens when you grow up in hyper-conservative church culture, marry your Bible camp sweetheart at 20, and then spend decades swimming in a poisoned pond of patriarchy, affairs, gaslighting, and spiritual abuse? Jennie’s story is a real look at what it takes to finally climb out of the muck and into fresh water.If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it me? Or is this whole thing just completely bonkers?” then pull up a chair. Jennie’s journey from silent suffering to empowered freedom will resonate with every woman who’s ever been told to “submit more, pray harder, and wear longer skirts” while her husband runs wild and gets a pat on the back from church elders.What You’ll Learn in This Episode: How a “perfect Christian marriage” turned into decades of betrayal and control.The role toxic church teachings played in keeping Jennie (and her kids) trapped.Why standing up for her daughter was the unexpected turning point that led Jennie toward freedom.The difference between swimming in poisoned pond water and finally breathing fresh air.How Flying Free gave Jennie the tools, words, and community she needed to rewire her brain and rebuild her life.The power of “just the next step” (because I hate to break it to you, but God doesn’t hand out the whole escape plan on a silver platter).Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Some other survivor stories to give you hope: “Military Marriage Abuse: Elizabeth’s Story,” and “Escaping the Man Everyone Admired: Lisa’s Story.”
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How to Find Peace When Your Marriage Feels Toxic [342]
Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in guilt, shame, and Christian “shoulds” while trying to survive a toxic marriage, a brutal divorce, or the aftermath of both? What if I told you that letting go, accepting reality, and loving yourself isn’t just a cliche, but it can actually change everything?In this episode of Flying Free, I dive into the “Let Go, Accept, and Love” tool (a.k.a. LAL, because who doesn’t love an acronym?). Plus, you’ll hear how one brave mama used these steps in the middle of a soul-crushing custody battle, and she came out stronger, freer, and a whole lot wiser.What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why believing the actual good news (and not the toxic “dirty worm theology”) matters more than you think.The three steps of the LAL toolHow one Flying Free member used LAL to survive a painful separation from her child with compassion instead of despair.The messy, real-life lessons another member learned during her custody evaluation, and why showing humility beats trying to look like “Super Perfect Christian Mom.”Practical ways to prepare for divorce and custody evaluations without losing your sanity.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, my newest podcast specifically for divorced women rebuilding their lives.The Mirror Bible is a refreshing Bible translation I highly recommend. Go follow Gretchen Baskerville’s YouTube channel. Also check out a recent interview I did with her, “Do Marriage Intensives Help to Heal Abusive Marriages?”Need a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA)? Rhonda Noordyk will help you with financial clarity and advocacy in divorce.
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Your Marriage Abuse Cycle Exercise [341]
Have you ever felt like you're starring in a rerun of your own life? Same arguments. Same heartbreak. Same fake flowers and empty promises. It’s called the abuse cycle, my friend.In this episode, I dive deep into an exercise that one of our Flying Free members shared in the private forum. She mapped out her relationship’s specific abuse cycle, and what she discovered was pretty important.Nothing changes when nothing changes. Oof. That one landed.What you’ll learn:The Three Phases of the Abuse CycleWhat HE Does vs. What YOU Do in each phase, and why it’s crucial to spell it out.How this member's personalized cycle became her key to awareness, and eventually, empowerment.The Denial Trap: Why “love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs” is not a permission slip to forget he’s hurting you.The radical difference between surviving the cycle and disrupting it with intentional action.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out some other related Flying Free Podcast episodes: “Interrupting the Abuse Cycle” and “How to Change Yourself While Still Stuck in an Emotionally Abusive Marriage.”
Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get help from her equally abusive church environment, she is betrayed and re-abused. Flying Free offers a Christ-centered, gospel-oriented perspective on domestic abuse that protects and honors the voices and autonomy of women. Tune in each week to hear conversations with emotional abuse advocates and fellow survivors who will walk with you on your journey up and out. We hear you. You are not alone. Learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
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