Winning Child Custody & Divorce Battles: Pro Strategies from a Top Attorney [329]
Strap in, ladies. This episode is basically law school meets your best girlfriend telling you how to survive divorce court with a toxic ex who thinks the law is optional and reality is negotiable. I’m joined by Arizona attorney Wendy Hernandez (aka courtroom gladiator and truth-spewer), who unpacks what you really need to know when facing custody battles, financial warfare, and the endless parade of legal shenanigans from an abusive ex.This episode was originally a private workshop inside the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community, and now it's yours, too. You're welcome. (And also, if you want more, jump in with us!)Key Takeaways:How to get out when you're financially trappedWhat temporary orders are and how they can help you immediatelyWhy documentation beats opinions in court, and how to gather it smartlySecrets to dealing with exes who refuse to work or disclose incomeHow to present strong evidence without being overwhelmedLegal options for supervised visitation and protecting your childrenModifying custody when major life changes occurProtecting kids from subtle forms of abuse within court limitationsHow to handle mediators and avoid coerced agreementsSanctioning your ex for using the legal system abusivelyThe emotional encouragement you need when you feel too overwhelmed to fight backRead the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources: Wendy’s YouTube channel: Command the CourtroomHer “Best Interests of the Child” checklistThe “Is Love Resilience” worksheet (traits that resilient women develop to rebuild their lives)The “Know Your Rights – Protect. Prepare. Empower. Escape” worksheetOur Day’s co-parenting calendar appAimee Says, an AI app to help you craft response, document abuse, prepare for court, and more Flying Free Podcast Episode 220 with Wendy: Dealing with Fear During DivorceHaving tried over 1,000 cases during her twenty-seven years as a litigator, Wendy is a courtroom warrior who has tackled every type of family law matter — from divorce to child custody and everything in between. Sharing secrets learned from the country’s top law professors at the University of Notre Dame Law School and during her battles on the family law front lines, Wendy is passionate about helping not only her clients, but also those representing themselves, to feel competent, confident and comfortable in the courtroom.
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How Christian Women Resist Oppression in Their Marriages [328]
So many of you come to me and say things like, "Natalie, I was such a doormat. I just stood there and let it all happen."Listen up, beautiful butterfly: You didn’t “just stand there.” You were resisting the entire time, and no one told you that’s what it was. Until now.In this episode, I shine a flashlight on the small but powerful acts of resistance Christian women pull off daily in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages. We’re talking journal-hiding, secret-crying, sanity-preserving, Jesus-whispering defiance that deserves a standing ovation—but probably got met with church lady side-eye instead.Here’s what you’ll learn:What resistance really looks like Why keeping your mouth shut can be a power moveHow even the tiniest choice—like skipping his coffee—can be the first domino to freedomWhy the culture you were raised in trained you to erase your own bravery—and how we’re done with that nowRead the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources: This podcast script is inspired by Allan Wade’s article, “Small Acts of Living: Everyday Resistance to Violence and Other Forms of Oppression.” Some related Flying Free Podcast episodes you may enjoy: “Should a Christian Wife Submit to an Abusive Husband?” and “An Emotional Recovery Tool That Changes Everything.”
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The Best Worst Decision: Erin’s Story [327]
Ever feel like you’re losing your mind but everyone around you says you’re just too sensitive? Welcome to the club you never asked to join. In this episode, I sit down with Erin, a long-time member of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community, who opens up about her raw and redemptive journey out of emotional and spiritual abuse. From marrying a man who knew his way around a Bible and a manipulation tactic (convenient, right?) to raising six kids in eight years while being told she was a “terrible housekeeper,” Erin did what so many Christian women are taught to do—sacrifice, submit, and smile. But eventually, she realized something crucial. God wasn’t calling her to be a martyr in her own marriage.In this episode, you’ll hear:The subtle and not-so-subtle red flags Erin missed (like that “I wanted to kiss your sister” comment… um, what?)How spiritual gaslighting and weaponized Scripture kept her stuckThe pivotal moment she knew she had to get outWhat helped her make her escapeHow the Flying Free Kaleidoscope and a few fierce new friendships helped her healWe talk about the awkwardness of being told you’re abandoning your family when all you’re trying to do is not literally abandon your sanity. Erin’s story is heartbreaking but also full of hope.So grab your tissues, maybe a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and hit play. You’ll walk away feeling seen, heard, and a little more brave.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:Do you like listening to survivor stories? We have more! Listen to Marie’s story, Laurie’s story, and Stacie’s story.
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Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Abuser—and When That Changes [326]
Hey there, beautiful butterfly! It's Natalie here, and boy do I have an episode for you today that's going to make you feel SEEN in a way that might just take your breath away.Have you ever found yourself at 3 AM, deep in a Google rabbit hole, trying to make sense of your husband's behavior like you're some kind of undercover FBI agent? Well, I'm here to tell you that this obsession isn't a sign you're losing it—it's actually the FIRST step toward your freedom.In this episode, I'm breaking down the five stages of recovery from emotional abuse that I've witnessed time and again in my work with thousands of women:Discover why your brain's detective mode is actually a necessary part of healing (and why you should stop beating yourself up for "still thinking about him")Learn about the powerful moment when your focus shifts from figuring HIM out to reclaiming YOU—and why this is where the real magic happensUnderstand how your healing journey transforms you from a survivor desperately searching for answers to the wise mentor you never had (but always deserved)Find out why setting boundaries isn't just about protecting yourself—it's about rediscovering joy and learning to trust yourself againRemember, healing isn't linear, and every stage serves a purpose. Whether you're analyzing text messages at midnight or helping other women find their wings, you're exactly where you need to be. Grab your coffee (or wine—zero judgment here!), get comfortable, and let me walk you through how this messy, beautiful recovery process really happens.You are becoming who you were always meant to be. And I promise you, butterfly—you are NOT alone.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Liked this episode? Here are some other episodes and an article that you may find helpful as well: Episode 306, “Lessons I’m Learning in Physical Therapy About How We Heal.” Episode 277, “What the Healing Journey Looks Like.” An article, “7 Steps to Identifying and Healing from an Emotionally Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage.”
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The Truth About Divorce in Christian Marriages: What They Don’t Tell You From the Pulpit [325]
Today we’re tackling a topic that's kept too many women trapped in painful marriages: divorce. If you've ever been told "God hates divorce" or made to feel like leaving your abusive husband is somehow worse than what he's doing to you, this episode is specifically for you.We’ll dig into some fascinating research by Dr. Valerie Hobbs on how conservative Christian sermons frame divorce - and let me tell you, what's being preached often doesn't match reality. Here's what you'll discover in this episode:The surprising biblical truth about divorce, including the fact that God Himself got a divorce (Jeremiah 3:8) and what this means for women in harmful marriagesHow common Bible verses about divorce are routinely misinterpreted and weaponized against women seeking safety and freedomThe shocking difference between why women initiate divorce (abuse, infidelity, and substance abuse) versus men's reasons (falling out of love, different lifestyles)How the ancient marriage certificate (ketubah) actually protected women's rights and gave them grounds for divorce - completely changing how we should understand Jesus' teachingsThis isn't just theological debate - this is about real women making heart-wrenching decisions every day. I've walked this path myself, and I know the spiritual anguish of believing God wants you to stay in a destructive marriage.If you're questioning what you've been taught about divorce, experiencing emotional or spiritual abuse, or supporting someone who is, please listen to this episode. You'll discover that God cares about your emotional and spiritual safety and wellbeing, and that leaving an abusive marriage just might be the most faithful thing you can do.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources: Dr. Valerie Hobbs' groundbreaking study that I used for this episode, "The Discourse of Divorce in Conservative Christian Sermons."Some related Flying Free Podcast episodes you may be interested in: “God Doesn’t Hate ALL Divorce,” “How Do I Know if Divorce Is the Right Choice for Me?” and “How To Tell Your Kids You’re Getting Divorced.”
Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get help from her equally abusive church environment, she is betrayed and re-abused. Flying Free offers a Christ-centered, gospel-oriented perspective on domestic abuse that protects and honors the voices and autonomy of women. Tune in each week to hear conversations with emotional abuse advocates and fellow survivors who will walk with you on your journey up and out. We hear you. You are not alone. Learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
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