HERself

Long-term relationships often come with recurring challenges that don’t fully resolve, no matter how many times you revisit them. In this episode, we open up about the patterns that keep resurfacing in our own relationships and what it looks like to navigate those tensions with more awareness and intention. From communication differences to division of responsibilities, we share how we’re learning to approach these sticking points differently, including adjusting expectations, asking for what we need, and recognizing when support might need to come from outside the partnership.
Differences between verbal processing and internal processing in communication.
Navigating humor versus emotional support in sensitive moments.
The tendency for partners to jump into problem-solving mode.
Identifying when to lean on friends or therapists for deeper support.
Perceived imbalance in household and family responsibilities.
The role of recognition and appreciation in partnerships.
Gaining perspective through shared experiences and role reversal.
The added strain of parenting a child with special needs on a relationship.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:
Listen to Episode #333: Our Holy Grail Advice for Relationships : https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/333-our-holy-grail-advice-for-relationships/id1489878793?i=1000761069923

HERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u 

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Reflecting on the past ten years feels especially meaningful as Abby turns 40 and we both hit a decade of motherhood. While there’s no version of the last ten years where everything would’ve been done “perfectly,” there’s so much growth, perspective, and beauty in what we’ve learned along the way. This conversation is your reminder to look back on your own journey with a glass-half-full mindset because you’re likely doing better than you think. From redefining rest and challenging the idea that your best years are behind you to letting go of the “start next week” mindset, we’re sharing the lessons that have shaped us and the ones we wish we had embraced sooner.

Topics We Cover:
Why rest doesn’t have to be earned and how to actually make time for it.
Letting go of the “work for the weekend” mindset.
The reality of building meaningful, trustworthy friendships in your 30s and 40s.
Why “starting next week” isn’t a strategy.
Abby’s journey with binge eating and the importance of starting now.
The reminder that it’s never too late to change your habits or lifestyle.
Honest reflections on early motherhood and what Amy wishes she knew.
The power of asking for help and leaning on your support system.
Simple resets, including the impact of a 20-minute break.
Real-life topics like period cups and navigating everyday womanhood.
Encouragement to reflect on your own growth over the past decade.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

Colorsciene Sunscreen Affiliate Link: https://www.amazon.com/Colorescience-Protection-Shield-Formula-Medium/dp/B093W7CDWD?th=1

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Menstrual Cup Affiliate Link:
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Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

This week, we’re answering your questions straight from Instagram, and a clear theme emerged: relationships. From navigating constant arguments after the kids go to bed to figuring out how to move forward when you and your partner feel completely out of sync, we’re sharing honest insights, personal experiences, and practical mindset shifts that have made a real difference in our own marriages. We talk through what it looks like to step into your partner’s perspective, why some relationship challenges aren’t actually “fixable,” and how to approach them in a way that works for your unique dynamic. We also open up about intimacy, including the factors that impact sex drive and why this conversation matters more than we often admit.

Topics We Cover:
• A counterintuitive strategy that helped break the cycle of nightly arguments.
• How differing timelines and priorities can create tension in relationships.
• A mindset shift that can help you better understand your partner’s perspective.
• What to consider when small annoyances start turning into constant nitpicking.
• Why some household tasks may not be the best ones to delegate.
• The difference between “equal” and “fair” when it comes to division of labor.
• Why many relationship challenges aren’t fully solvable and how to navigate that reality.
• The two types of sex drive and how they show up in long-term relationships.
• Two common factors that can significantly impact intimacy.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:
Listen to Episode 21 with Vanessa Marin, Sex Therapist: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/21-herself-expert-vanessa-marin-sex-therapist-all-of-your-sex-questions-answered

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

This episode was inspired by a post from one of our favorite Instagram therapy accounts, @millennial.therapist, titled “Let’s Stop Postponing.” It sparked an honest conversation as we walked through each point and reflected on how these patterns show up in our own lives. From expressing appreciation to making decisions, navigating emotions, and leaning into joy, we share where we feel confident, where we are still growing, and how these small shifts can create meaningful change in our everyday lives.

Key Topics Covered:
Letting people know what they mean to you and the impact of expressing appreciation in real time.
Navigating big decisions with more trust and less hesitation, with different personal perspectives.
Allowing space for emotional release instead of holding everything in.
Taking accountability and offering genuine apologies when needed.
Asking for support and clearly communicating personal needs.
Approaching hard conversations with more confidence and emotional maturity.
Wearing clothes that make you feel good instead of saving them for later.
Exploring hobbies and rediscovering what feels fun and fulfilling.
Celebrating small, everyday moments instead of only major milestones.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

Follow Dr. Sara Kuburic on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/millennial.therapist/

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

After Amy sparked a conversation on Instagram about expecting more independence from her boys, it became clear just how many moms are wondering the same thing: when do you start, and how do you actually follow through? In this episode, we’re sharing how we’ve gradually increased expectations in our own homes, why contributing to the household matters, and how to get your kids involved in a realistic, sustainable way..

Key Topics Covered:
When to start expecting more independence from kids.
Why contributing to the household builds confidence and responsibility.
The importance of predictable routines at home.
Practical ways kids can help with laundry, kitchen tasks, and shared spaces.
Managing clutter in mudrooms and sports bags.
How to handle different expectations for siblings of different ages.
A helpful mindset shift for explaining responsibilities to kids.
How personality types can influence chores and participation.
Why starting small leads to long-term success for both kids and parents.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.