Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

<p style="text-align:left;">What do you do when your people pleasing tendencies continue to come up again and again? How do you navigate the desire to please people, but ultimately continue to strive to please God? Today, I talk to Judah Smith about his tendencies to care too much about what people think, and the self-serving, self-protecting, selfish nature behind being a person who cares too much about what people think. We unpack the idea that ultimately, the root of people-pleasing is actually selfish -- because it's the desire to be wanted, loved, accepted, and validated -- is actually a desire to meet a deep, unquenchable need in us. If you struggle with people-pleasing, you need to tune in to this one.</p>

<p style="text-align:left;">The Debra Fileta Counselors Network:</p>

<p style="text-align:left;">Book a counseling session at the <a href="https://debrafileta.com/counseling/" target="_blank">Debra Fileta Counselors Network</a> and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!</p>

<p style="text-align:left;">DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the <a href="https://debrafileta.com/counseling/" target="_blank">Debra Fileta Counselors Network</a>. She is the bestselling author of eight books including <a href="https://debrafileta.com/choosing-marriage/" target="_blank">Choosing Marriage</a>, <a href="https://debrafileta.com/are-you-really-ok/" target="_blank">Are You Really OK?</a>, <a href="https://debrafileta.com/reset/" target="_blank">RESET</a>, and <a href="https://debrafileta.com/soulcare/" target="_blank">Soul Care</a>. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show <a href="https://truelovedates.com/talktome/" target="_blank">Talk To Me</a> where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/DebraFileta/" target="_blank">Instagram</a> or at <a href="https://debrafileta.com/" target="_blank">DebraFileta.com</a>.</p>

It's hard enough to deal with feeling offended by people, but what do you do when you feel offended by God? In this on-air session with Alexandra Hoover, we talk about healthy vs. unhealthy ways to handle offense from people who hurt us deeply, and then we move into healthy ways to deal with feeling offended by God. We talk about important mindset shifts that need to happen, in order for us to be able to deal with our real and significant hurts, disappointment, and pain. How can offense bring us closer to God, rather than push us away from Him? If you've ever felt disappointed by God or by people, this conversation is just what you need

The Debra Fileta Counselors Network:

Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

We know God's heart is for a healthy marriage, but what happens when life has other plans? Today, I sit down with Lysa Terkeurst and unpack the series of events and discoveries leading up to the letting go of her marriage. She shares what she's learned along the way about boundaries, and her tendency to do more than her fair share of work in a relationship. We get to the root of the why, and what made her susceptible to this type of relational dynamic -- and ultimately, how she found healing in spite of it all.



The Debra Fileta Counselors Network:

Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!



DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

"I've always just wanted to be accepted". I think many of us can relate to that sentiment. Max Lucado certainly could. Much of his life was spent feeling "on the outside" and wanting to be accepted, which led to a series of unhealthy behaviors just to try and find acceptance. Today, he vulnerably unpacks where this belief system started in his childhood, how it led him down a very unhealthy path, and how it still creeps into his life, even though he's been walking with Jesus for so many years. This is one of my favorite on-air sessions, with one of my favorite people. I know it will challenge and change you.  

The Debra Fileta Counselors Network:

Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

We’re spending the last few weeks of 2025 reviewing our TOP 5 MOST DOWNLOADED episodes! 

Why do so many Christians struggle with boundaries? 

We are taught that boundaries are wrong, sinful, or selfish — and that we should always say YES and be ready to sacrifice and serve at a moment’s notice. 

But is this really the way of Jesus? Or could this lead us down a path of emotional burnout, codependency, and unhealthy relationships? 

Today, we have an on-air counseling session with my friend, Bianca Olthoff. Bianca has been on the podcast before, processing pain from the past (listen here if you missed it!) but today we dive into the topic of BOUNDARIES and learning to protect your heart and calling.

Bianca shares how she lived so many years with low to no boundaries, and the damage that caused in her life and in her relationships. We talk about her childhood, and how the concept of low boundaries began to take root in her life…and followed her into adulthood. 

If boundaries have been a weakness for you, you HAVE TO make time to listen to this episode from start to finish! Setting healthy boundaries is the Jesus way. 

Find out how!

Extras:

Soul Care: Order Soul Care Today!

The Debra Fileta Counselors Network:

Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! 

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.