The Family Podcast

Using technology as a babysitter can be harmful to a child’s development when it replaces consistent human interaction and active play. While digital devices offer temporary relief for busy parents, over-reliance on screens often leads to behavioral issues, delayed social skills, and a lack of emotional regulation. The Bible encourages parents to intentionally shepherd their children’s hearts, suggesting that passive screen time should never substitute for active, Christ-centered parenting and engagement.
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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
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The Science Of Developing Brains
The general consensus among developmental pediatricians, including experts at Cedars-Sinai, is that children under age 3 should have little to no screen exposure. This is because their brains are in a critical stage of development involving myelination—a biological process that coats nerve fibers to speed up brain signals. Research shows that excessive screen time is associated with lower integrity in the brain's white matter, which is essential for language, literacy, and cognitive processing. When a young brain is overexposed to screens, it can overstimulate the visual cortex at the expense of the auditory cortex. This is a major concern because the auditory cortex is vital for developing the social skills and language children need to navigate the world.
Ideally, early learning should be grounded in real-world, interactive, face-to-face experiences rather than passive viewing. Studies have shown that the more children engage with electronic screens, the more likely they were to develop socioemotional problems. A meta-analysis published by the APA, reviewing data from over 292,000 children, revealed that high screen use is linked to internalizing problems like anxiety and depression, as well as externalizing problems like aggression and hyperactivity. Interestingly, girls are often more susceptible to internalizing issues, while boys are more likely to increase screen use as a coping mechanism when they are already struggling.
The Trap Of The YouTube Algorithm
We live in a fast-paced world, and the temptation to hand a crying child a tablet is incredibly strong. It works instantly, providing a "digital pacifier." However, the platform matters significantly. Streaming services like YouTube are designed with algorithms specifically engineered to maximize "watch time." Unlike traditional television, which has a set duration and natural stopping points (like the end of an episode or a commercial break), YouTube utilizes auto-play and a "infinite scroll" of suggested videos to keep kids hooked.
These algorithms analyze every click and "re-watch," serving up "bite-sized hooks" and constant novelty that can overwhelm a child's underdeveloped self-regulation skills. This creates an addictive "just one more" loop. From a biblical perspective, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. We want our children to grow in their ability to regulate their impulses through the help of God and the guidance of their parents. If technology becomes the primary tool for emotional regulation, children miss out on developing the "inner muscle" of character required to navigate boredom and big emotions without a digital escape.
Practical Steps For Intentional Parents
Instead of turning to technology to give yourself a break, try creating a structured family schedule that fosters imagination and creativity. Parenting requires us to be the architects of our children’s environment. By setting clear boundaries, we provide a safe framework where they can flourish without the overstimulation of the digital world.
Proverbs 22:6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.Here are a few practical strategies to avoid using tech as a babysitter:
Create a Family Schedule: Designate specific times for chores, reading, and play to reduce "pester power."
Prioritize Outside Play: Aim for two hours of outdoor time to help kids burn energy and improve focus.
Implement Imagination Time: Encourage "quiet time" in their bedroom with blocks or books to build self-reliance.
Strict Tech Boundaries: Maintain a "no tech" rule at the dinner table and for at least an hour before bed.
Set Fixed Limits: If you use tech, allow for a specific 30-minute window or one single 30-minute show, then turn it off.

Reclaiming The Parent-Child Bond
The heart of this issue isn't that technology is "evil," but that it is an inadequate substitute for a parent. God gave your children to you, not to an algorithm. Every time we choose to engage with our kids instead of outsourcing that time to a screen, we are making an eternal investment. We are showing them that they are seen, known, and loved—which is exactly how God feels about us.
Jesus placed a high value on children and wanted them in His presence. When we prioritize being present with our kids, even when it’s exhausting, we follow Christ's example. We are building a foundation of trust that will eventually serve as a bridge to talking about deeper spiritual truths. Reclaiming this bond starts with putting the phone down and picking up the calling God has placed on your life as a parent.
Mark 10:14 When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, "Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children."The Takeaway
Using technology as a babysitter can be harmful because it replaces vital human interaction with passive consumption that can delay brain development and increase socioemotional problems. Biblical parenting requires intentionality and presence. By replacing excessive screen time with physical play, family schedules, and focused attention, we shepherd our children’s hearts and help them grow into the people God created them to be.

To honor your father and mother means to treat them with respect, value, and care, recognizing the God-given position they hold in your life. In today’s hectic world, this goes beyond simple childhood obedience; it involves a lifelong posture of gratitude and responsibility. Honoring your parents is a choice to prize their well-being and dignity, ensuring they are not forgotten or discarded even when life becomes overwhelmingly busy.
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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
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The Cultural Weight of the Family Unit
In the Old Testament, the family was not just a social group; it was the essential building block of the entire nation. The Hebrew culture was deeply “collectivist,” meaning the identity of the individual was inextricably linked to the family line. To honor your parents was to protect the integrity of the family legacy. This was a society where the elderly were viewed as the keepers of wisdom and the link to God’s promises given to ancestors like Abraham and Isaac.
Unlike our modern, individualistic culture that often prizes youth and independence above all else, the biblical culture saw the family as a permanent safety net. Families lived in close proximity, often in the same “bet ab” (father’s house). In this setting, honoring parents was a daily, practical reality. It meant contributing to the family’s survival and ensuring that as parents aged, they were cared for within the home they had built.
A Commandment with a Promise
The instruction to honor parents is the fifth of the Ten Commandments, and it holds a unique place in the Law. It serves as the bridge between our duties to God and our duties to our fellow human beings. While the first four commandments focus on our vertical relationship with God, the fifth commandment kicks off the horizontal requirements for how we treat others. This suggests that how we relate to our parents is a primary reflection of how we relate to God’s authority.
Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.This is often called the “first commandment with a promise.” The Bible links the health of a society directly to the honor given within the family. When we respect the generational link, we preserve the values and faith that sustain a community. In a hectic world that constantly pushes us to “move on” and “look forward,” this commandment calls us to look back with reverence and stay connected to our roots.
Honoring in a Modern, Hectic Context
Today, honoring your parents looks different than it did in ancient Israel, but the heart behind it remains the same. It requires intentionality to cut through the noise of our busy schedules. Honoring might mean picking up the phone when you’d rather be scrolling social media, or navigating the complexities of elder care with patience rather than resentment. It is about “weighting” their needs—giving them a place of significance in your life’s priorities.
Proverbs 23:22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.In a world that often views the elderly as a “burden” or an “inconvenience,” the Christian is called to a different standard. We honor our parents by listening to their stories, valuing their perspective, and providing for their needs. This doesn’t mean we agree with every choice they made or ignore toxic patterns, but it does mean we choose to treat them with the dignity that every human made in the image of God deserves.
Connecting Honor to the Heart of Jesus
Jesus took the command to honor parents very seriously. During his ministry, he rebuked the religious leaders who tried to use religious excuses to avoid financially supporting their aging parents. He pointed out that true devotion to God cannot exist alongside the neglect of one’s family. Even while hanging on the cross in agony, Jesus looked down at his mother, Mary, and ensured she would be cared for by his disciple John.
When we honor our parents, we are participating in the self-giving love of Jesus. We recognize that we did not bring ourselves into this world and we did not raise ourselves. By showing grace and care to our parents—even when they are difficult or failing in health—we mirror the way God shows grace to us. Honoring our parents is a tangible way to practice the “Jesus-centered” life in the most private and foundational area of our existence.
The Takeaway
To honor your father and mother is to give them the respect and care they deserve as your biological and spiritual precursors. In a fast-paced society, this means intentionally slowing down to value their presence and provide for their needs. By embracing the biblical view of the family unit, we honor God’s design and ensure that the wisdom of the past continues to bless the generations of the future.

In this episode, Tracy explains why condescension is such a "subtle poison" in marriage, acting as a defensive power play that inevitably makes your spouse feel belittled and insecure. We'll look to scripture to remind us of how God calls us to treat our spouse and hear practical takeaways to grow in this area.
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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
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Condescension is a subtle poison that erodes the foundation of a marriage by replacing equality with a hierarchy. It is a form of communication that signals, "I am above you, and your perspective is less valid than mine." While it often masquerades as "helpfulness" or "correcting the facts," it actually functions as a slow-release toxin that destroys intimacy, fuels resentment, and eventually silences the partner on the receiving end.
The Anatomy of a Put-Down
At its core, condescension is rarely about the topic being discussed—whether it’s the "right" way to load a dishwasher or a complex theological debate. Instead, it stems from the ego's need for security and control. When we "talk down" to a spouse, we are usually operating out of a superiority complex or, ironically, a deep-seated insecurity. By making a partner feel small, the perpetrator temporarily feels more powerful or "safe" in their own intellect.
This behavior creates a "Power Play" dynamic. By dismissing a spouse’s ideas or jumping straight to "fixing" their problems without listening, the condescending partner asserts themselves as the leader and relegates their spouse to the role of a follower. This shift fundamentally breaks the "one flesh" union described in the Bible, turning a partnership into a teacher-student relationship that neither person signed up for.
What Condescension Looks Like (The "Cringe" List)
Many people don't realize they are being patronizing because they wrap their words in "Christianese" or a tone of feigned concern. However, certain habits are clear red flags of a condescending heart:
The "Actually" Habit: Constant interruption to pivot a conversation into a lecture or a "correction."
The Slow-Mo Explain: Explaining basic concepts in excessive detail, also known as "mansplaining" or "wit-splaining."
Non-Verbal Cues: Smirking, heavy sighing, or looking over glasses to signal, "I can't believe I have to deal with this."
Patronizing Pet Names: Using "Honey" or "Sweetie" as a weapon to belittle during a disagreement rather than as a term of endearment.
Unsolicited Fixing: Offering advice before the other person has even finished speaking, sending the message that they aren't capable of handling their own life.

The High Cost of the "Superior" Spirit
When you act condescendingly, you aren't just trying to win an argument; you are actively losing a teammate. The hidden cost of this behavior is the emotional withdrawal of your spouse. Over time, the partner on the receiving end begins to feel belittled and insecure. They stop sharing their dreams and thoughts because they fear being "corrected" or mocked.
Ephesians 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.When equality leaves the building, respect follows. A marriage without mutual respect is a house built on sand. If one partner constantly feels like they are being "patted on the head," they will eventually look for validation elsewhere or shut down entirely, leading to a lonely, fragmented home.
The Example of Humility in Christ
If anyone had the right to be a "know-it-all," it was Jesus. He literally created the universe, yet He never used His brilliance to make others feel small. In fact, the only people He truly rebuked were the Pharisees—the religious elites who used their perceived superiority to look down on everyone else. Jesus modeled a different way: a posture of radical humility.
Philippians 2:3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.To "value others above yourself" in a marriage means assuming your spouse has something valuable to say, even if you disagree with their take. It means prioritizing the relationship over the need to be the "smartest person in the room." Real intelligence in a marriage isn't about having all the answers; it’s about having the wisdom to treat your partner with the dignity they deserve as a fellow image-bearer of God.
The Takeaway
Condescension is a toxic habit that trades marital intimacy for an ego boost. By treating your spouse as an inferior rather than an equal partner, you erode the respect necessary for a healthy union. Breaking this cycle requires a commitment to humility, active listening, and the realization that being "right" is never worth the cost of making your partner feel small.

In this episode, we conclude our series on Paul Tripp’s The 14 Gospel Principles of Parenting by exploring the importance of shepherding a worshiper's heart and finding rest in God's grace. We discuss how to identify the "little g" gods that compete for our children's hearts and how to lead our children toward a full life in Jesus.
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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
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Parenting is arguably the hardest job in the world, especially when you want to do it intentionally and well. Over this series, we have explored the core themes of Paul Tripp’s The 14 Gospel Principles of Parenting. The ultimate goal of parenting isn’t just behavior modification or being a "law-giver"; it is shepherding the heart and pointing our children to the Gospel.
As parents, we are ambassadors of Christ. We represent His grace and mercy while setting boundaries that are for our children's good. We must remember that our identity is not found in our kids; when we force them to perform to make us look good, we lose the focus of shepherding their hearts.
Parenting a Worshiper
Tripp emphasizes a crucial principle: you are parenting a worshiper. What rules your child's heart will control their behavior. Every human has an innate desire for meaning, purpose, and identity. If we don’t point our kids toward the Creator, they will chase "little g" gods. We must be vigilant about what we emphasize in our homes.
Common "false gods" that compete for our children’s hearts include:
Performance & Success: Measuring worth through grades, awards, or being the "best."
Sports: Elevating athletic prowess above all else.
Popularity & Acceptance: The desperate need to be liked by peers or social media circles.
Comfort & Entertainment: Using video games, streaming, or scrolling to avoid stress or discomfort.

When we see these behaviors, we shouldn't just punish the action. We need to have constant, intentional conversations that point back to Jesus. We must show our kids that their value isn't found in their stats or their friend groups, but in the fact that they were fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalm 139).
Finding Rest in God
Finally, we must embrace the principle of rest. It is only by resting in God's presence and grace that you will become a joyful and patient parent. When we forget who God is and what He has given us, we start shouldering burdens we were never meant to carry.
Matthew 11:28 reminds us: "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Parenting is a process—not a single conversation. Release the pressure to have all the answers. God has given you these children; trust Him to provide the wisdom, patience, and insight you need. Lead your children by fostering a personal relationship with Jesus in your own heart first.

In this episode, we explore how parents can model the protective beauty of authority and focus on character development rather than just behavior modification. We’ll discuss how shepherding a child’s heart through discipline serves as a bridge, ultimately leading them to hopefully recognize and submit to God’s authority in their own lives.
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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
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Authority and Character in Parenting
Parenting is a high calling that goes beyond mere behavior modification; it is about shepherding a child’s heart toward the gospel. In this lesson, we explore two essential principles from Paul Tripp’s parenting philosophy: authority and character. Every child is born into a world of authority, yet their natural sin nature convinces them that they should be the center of their own universe. This internal struggle makes submission feel unnatural, leading to a desire to set their own rules and go their own way.
As parents, our job is to model the “protective beauty” of authority. We aren’t just looking for “checked boxes” of obedience; we are training our children to understand that God’s rules—and by extension, our household rules—are for their good, their development, and their safety. When a child understands that authority is meant to protect them, like a parent keeping a toddler out of a busy street, it changes their perspective from seeing rules as restrictive to seeing them as loving.
This process requires us to look at the scriptures as our guide. We see in Psalm 86:15 that God is compassionate and slow to anger, which is the heart we must mirror. Ephesians 6:1-4 lays out the structure for the home: children are called to obey and honor their parents, while fathers are warned not to provoke their children to anger but to bring them up in the instruction of the Lord. Furthermore, Hebrews 12:5-11 reminds us that while discipline is painful in the moment, it is a sign of God’s love and produces a peaceful harvest of right living.
Ultimately, parental authority serves as a bridge to God. We represent His character to our children now so that, as they grow, they will learn to submit to Him personally once they leave our home. By parenting with compassion and mercy, we reflect the heart of a God who is patient for our sake, as seen in 2 Peter 3:9. When we address our children’s lack of character with the gospel, we move from being mere “rule-enforcers” to being “heart-shepherds” who point them to their need for a Savior.