In this episode, we explore how biblical parenting is about more than rules—it’s about helping your kids move from “renting” values to truly owning a faith that lasts.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at
[email protected] Now --The Principle of Ownership in Parenting: A Biblical ApproachOne of the greatest responsibilities a parent has is to raise children who are equipped to navigate the world with strong, biblically grounded values. A fundamental principle of parenting is the idea of “ownership”—that the ultimate goal is for our children to leave home with the values we have instilled in them firmly rooted in their hearts. This means moving from a phase where they "rent" these values—temporarily adopting them while under our guidance—to a place where they "own" them, making those values personal, enduring, and guiding their decisions as independent adults.The Biblical Foundation of OwnershipScripture provides a foundation for this principle, particularly in passages that emphasize training, teaching, and passing on faith to the next generation. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it." This well-known verse reflects the heart of biblical parenting—intentional training in godly ways. However, for this promise to hold true, children must internalize the faith and values taught to them. They must “own” these teachings so that they continue to live by them when parents are no longer watching.Moses also spoke about this principle in Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” The goal is not merely that children hear the commandments but that they become imprinted on their hearts. Moses was calling parents to make God’s truth a natural part of everyday life, ingraining it deeply in their children so that it would influence them long after they left their parents' homes.From Renters to OwnersA crucial distinction for parents to understand is the difference between children being "renters" of values versus being "owners." As long as children are under our care, there is a temptation to assume that because they obey the rules, they are fully committed to the values behind those rules. However, rented values are often temporary—children follow them when it’s convenient, but they haven’t necessarily embraced them as their own. The danger is that when parents are no longer present to enforce those values, the children may abandon them.Ownership, on the other hand, happens when children take personal responsibility for their beliefs and decisions. When children “own” the values you’ve taught them, they continue to live by those values even when no one is watching. In Luke 6:45, Jesus says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” The values in their hearts will naturally influence their words and actions. True ownership transforms these values...
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