The Family Podcast

The Bible teaches that you can guard against temptation in your marriage by intentionally building spiritual and emotional hedges around your relationship. While temptation is a common human experience, God provides a way of escape through prayer, transparency with your spouse, and a commitment to honoring your marriage vows. By prioritizing your connection with Jesus and each other, you can protect your covenant from the subtle drift that leads to infidelity.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
Understand the Reality of Temptation
Temptation is not a sign that your marriage is failing, but it is a signal that you are human. We live in a world that often celebrates the "new and exciting" over the "faithful and steady." Even the strongest couples face moments where their eyes or hearts might wander toward someone else. Recognizing that you are susceptible to temptation is actually your first line of defense. When we think we are above falling, we stop being careful.
The Bible warns us to stay alert because our spiritual enemy looks for cracks in our foundation. In marriage, those cracks often look like unresolved conflict, loneliness, or a lack of physical intimacy. If you feel a "spark" with someone at work or find yourself hiding text messages, don't ignore the warning lights. Acknowledge the temptation immediately so you can deal with it before it grows into something destructive.
1 Peter 5:8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.Build a Hedge of Protection
One of the most practical ways to guard against temptation is to create healthy boundaries. These aren't meant to be "rules" that feel like a cage, but rather "hedges" that keep your garden beautiful and safe. A hedge means deciding not to have private lunches with someone of the opposite sex or sharing your phone passwords with your spouse. These choices build trust and eliminate the secrecy that temptation needs to survive.
Building a hedge also means being proactive about your emotional health. Often, people fall into affairs because they are looking for emotional validation they feel is missing at home. Instead of looking outward, look inward and toward your spouse. Make it a priority to date your spouse, talk about your dreams, and stay curious about their life. When your "emotional tank" is full at home, you are far less likely to go looking for a "refill" elsewhere.
Lean on the Power of Jesus
We cannot win the battle against temptation through willpower alone. Real, lasting protection for your marriage comes from a shared spiritual life centered on Jesus Christ. When you and your spouse are both pursuing a relationship with God, you naturally grow closer to each other. This is often compared to a triangle: as both people move toward God at the top, they inevitably get closer to one another at the base.
Jesus understands the struggle of temptation because he faced it himself, yet he remained without sin. When you feel weak, you can go to him in prayer. Ask God to give you a "distaste" for things that would harm your marriage and a renewed passion for your spouse. Spiritual disciplines like praying together or reading the Bible as a couple create a spiritual bond that is difficult for temptation to break.
Hebrews 4:15-16 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.Practice Radical Transparency
Secrecy is the oxygen that keeps the fire of temptation alive. If you are struggling with an attraction or a "crush," the best thing you can do is bring it into the light. This sounds terrifying, but telling your spouse or a trusted mentor takes the power away from the temptation. When a secret is shared, the enemy loses his leverage over you.
Transparency also involves being honest about the state of your marriage. If you are unhappy or feeling neglected, talk about it. Don't let bitterness simmer under the surface. Healthy marriages are built on the "messy" work of honest communication. By choosing to be an open book, you create an environment where temptation finds no place to hide.
The Takeaway
Guarding against temptation in your marriage requires a combination of spiritual dependence on Jesus and practical boundaries in your daily life. It starts with acknowledging your vulnerability and ends with a commitment to total transparency. By keeping Christ at the center and intentionally investing in your spouse, you can build a resilient, joyful marriage that honors God and stands the test of time.

Using technology as a babysitter can be harmful to a child’s development when it replaces consistent human interaction and active play. While digital devices offer temporary relief for busy parents, over-reliance on screens often leads to behavioral issues, delayed social skills, and a lack of emotional regulation. The Bible encourages parents to intentionally shepherd their children’s hearts, suggesting that passive screen time should never substitute for active, Christ-centered parenting and engagement.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
The Science Of Developing Brains
The general consensus among developmental pediatricians, including experts at Cedars-Sinai, is that children under age 3 should have little to no screen exposure. This is because their brains are in a critical stage of development involving myelination—a biological process that coats nerve fibers to speed up brain signals. Research shows that excessive screen time is associated with lower integrity in the brain's white matter, which is essential for language, literacy, and cognitive processing. When a young brain is overexposed to screens, it can overstimulate the visual cortex at the expense of the auditory cortex. This is a major concern because the auditory cortex is vital for developing the social skills and language children need to navigate the world.
Ideally, early learning should be grounded in real-world, interactive, face-to-face experiences rather than passive viewing. Studies have shown that the more children engage with electronic screens, the more likely they were to develop socioemotional problems. A meta-analysis published by the APA, reviewing data from over 292,000 children, revealed that high screen use is linked to internalizing problems like anxiety and depression, as well as externalizing problems like aggression and hyperactivity. Interestingly, girls are often more susceptible to internalizing issues, while boys are more likely to increase screen use as a coping mechanism when they are already struggling.
The Trap Of The YouTube Algorithm
We live in a fast-paced world, and the temptation to hand a crying child a tablet is incredibly strong. It works instantly, providing a "digital pacifier." However, the platform matters significantly. Streaming services like YouTube are designed with algorithms specifically engineered to maximize "watch time." Unlike traditional television, which has a set duration and natural stopping points (like the end of an episode or a commercial break), YouTube utilizes auto-play and a "infinite scroll" of suggested videos to keep kids hooked.
These algorithms analyze every click and "re-watch," serving up "bite-sized hooks" and constant novelty that can overwhelm a child's underdeveloped self-regulation skills. This creates an addictive "just one more" loop. From a biblical perspective, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. We want our children to grow in their ability to regulate their impulses through the help of God and the guidance of their parents. If technology becomes the primary tool for emotional regulation, children miss out on developing the "inner muscle" of character required to navigate boredom and big emotions without a digital escape.
Practical Steps For Intentional Parents
Instead of turning to technology to give yourself a break, try creating a structured family schedule that fosters imagination and creativity. Parenting requires us to be the architects of our children’s environment. By setting clear boundaries, we provide a safe framework where they can flourish without the overstimulation of the digital world.
Proverbs 22:6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.Here are a few practical strategies to avoid using tech as a babysitter:
Create a Family Schedule: Designate specific times for chores, reading, and play to reduce "pester power."
Prioritize Outside Play: Aim for two hours of outdoor time to help kids burn energy and improve focus.
Implement Imagination Time: Encourage "quiet time" in their bedroom with blocks or books to build self-reliance.
Strict Tech Boundaries: Maintain a "no tech" rule at the dinner table and for at least an hour before bed.
Set Fixed Limits: If you use tech, allow for a specific 30-minute window or one single 30-minute show, then turn it off.

Reclaiming The Parent-Child Bond
The heart of this issue isn't that technology is "evil," but that it is an inadequate substitute for a parent. God gave your children to you, not to an algorithm. Every time we choose to engage with our kids instead of outsourcing that time to a screen, we are making an eternal investment. We are showing them that they are seen, known, and loved—which is exactly how God feels about us.
Jesus placed a high value on children and wanted them in His presence. When we prioritize being present with our kids, even when it’s exhausting, we follow Christ's example. We are building a foundation of trust that will eventually serve as a bridge to talking about deeper spiritual truths. Reclaiming this bond starts with putting the phone down and picking up the calling God has placed on your life as a parent.
Mark 10:14 When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, "Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children."The Takeaway
Using technology as a babysitter can be harmful because it replaces vital human interaction with passive consumption that can delay brain development and increase socioemotional problems. Biblical parenting requires intentionality and presence. By replacing excessive screen time with physical play, family schedules, and focused attention, we shepherd our children’s hearts and help them grow into the people God created them to be.

To honor your father and mother means to treat them with respect, value, and care, recognizing the God-given position they hold in your life. In today’s hectic world, this goes beyond simple childhood obedience; it involves a lifelong posture of gratitude and responsibility. Honoring your parents is a choice to prize their well-being and dignity, ensuring they are not forgotten or discarded even when life becomes overwhelmingly busy.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
The Cultural Weight of the Family Unit
In the Old Testament, the family was not just a social group; it was the essential building block of the entire nation. The Hebrew culture was deeply “collectivist,” meaning the identity of the individual was inextricably linked to the family line. To honor your parents was to protect the integrity of the family legacy. This was a society where the elderly were viewed as the keepers of wisdom and the link to God’s promises given to ancestors like Abraham and Isaac.
Unlike our modern, individualistic culture that often prizes youth and independence above all else, the biblical culture saw the family as a permanent safety net. Families lived in close proximity, often in the same “bet ab” (father’s house). In this setting, honoring parents was a daily, practical reality. It meant contributing to the family’s survival and ensuring that as parents aged, they were cared for within the home they had built.
A Commandment with a Promise
The instruction to honor parents is the fifth of the Ten Commandments, and it holds a unique place in the Law. It serves as the bridge between our duties to God and our duties to our fellow human beings. While the first four commandments focus on our vertical relationship with God, the fifth commandment kicks off the horizontal requirements for how we treat others. This suggests that how we relate to our parents is a primary reflection of how we relate to God’s authority.
Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.This is often called the “first commandment with a promise.” The Bible links the health of a society directly to the honor given within the family. When we respect the generational link, we preserve the values and faith that sustain a community. In a hectic world that constantly pushes us to “move on” and “look forward,” this commandment calls us to look back with reverence and stay connected to our roots.
Honoring in a Modern, Hectic Context
Today, honoring your parents looks different than it did in ancient Israel, but the heart behind it remains the same. It requires intentionality to cut through the noise of our busy schedules. Honoring might mean picking up the phone when you’d rather be scrolling social media, or navigating the complexities of elder care with patience rather than resentment. It is about “weighting” their needs—giving them a place of significance in your life’s priorities.
Proverbs 23:22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.In a world that often views the elderly as a “burden” or an “inconvenience,” the Christian is called to a different standard. We honor our parents by listening to their stories, valuing their perspective, and providing for their needs. This doesn’t mean we agree with every choice they made or ignore toxic patterns, but it does mean we choose to treat them with the dignity that every human made in the image of God deserves.
Connecting Honor to the Heart of Jesus
Jesus took the command to honor parents very seriously. During his ministry, he rebuked the religious leaders who tried to use religious excuses to avoid financially supporting their aging parents. He pointed out that true devotion to God cannot exist alongside the neglect of one’s family. Even while hanging on the cross in agony, Jesus looked down at his mother, Mary, and ensured she would be cared for by his disciple John.
When we honor our parents, we are participating in the self-giving love of Jesus. We recognize that we did not bring ourselves into this world and we did not raise ourselves. By showing grace and care to our parents—even when they are difficult or failing in health—we mirror the way God shows grace to us. Honoring our parents is a tangible way to practice the “Jesus-centered” life in the most private and foundational area of our existence.
The Takeaway
To honor your father and mother is to give them the respect and care they deserve as your biological and spiritual precursors. In a fast-paced society, this means intentionally slowing down to value their presence and provide for their needs. By embracing the biblical view of the family unit, we honor God’s design and ensure that the wisdom of the past continues to bless the generations of the future.

In this episode, Tracy explains why condescension is such a "subtle poison" in marriage, acting as a defensive power play that inevitably makes your spouse feel belittled and insecure. We'll look to scripture to remind us of how God calls us to treat our spouse and hear practical takeaways to grow in this area.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
Condescension is a subtle poison that erodes the foundation of a marriage by replacing equality with a hierarchy. It is a form of communication that signals, "I am above you, and your perspective is less valid than mine." While it often masquerades as "helpfulness" or "correcting the facts," it actually functions as a slow-release toxin that destroys intimacy, fuels resentment, and eventually silences the partner on the receiving end.
The Anatomy of a Put-Down
At its core, condescension is rarely about the topic being discussed—whether it’s the "right" way to load a dishwasher or a complex theological debate. Instead, it stems from the ego's need for security and control. When we "talk down" to a spouse, we are usually operating out of a superiority complex or, ironically, a deep-seated insecurity. By making a partner feel small, the perpetrator temporarily feels more powerful or "safe" in their own intellect.
This behavior creates a "Power Play" dynamic. By dismissing a spouse’s ideas or jumping straight to "fixing" their problems without listening, the condescending partner asserts themselves as the leader and relegates their spouse to the role of a follower. This shift fundamentally breaks the "one flesh" union described in the Bible, turning a partnership into a teacher-student relationship that neither person signed up for.
What Condescension Looks Like (The "Cringe" List)
Many people don't realize they are being patronizing because they wrap their words in "Christianese" or a tone of feigned concern. However, certain habits are clear red flags of a condescending heart:
The "Actually" Habit: Constant interruption to pivot a conversation into a lecture or a "correction."
The Slow-Mo Explain: Explaining basic concepts in excessive detail, also known as "mansplaining" or "wit-splaining."
Non-Verbal Cues: Smirking, heavy sighing, or looking over glasses to signal, "I can't believe I have to deal with this."
Patronizing Pet Names: Using "Honey" or "Sweetie" as a weapon to belittle during a disagreement rather than as a term of endearment.
Unsolicited Fixing: Offering advice before the other person has even finished speaking, sending the message that they aren't capable of handling their own life.

The High Cost of the "Superior" Spirit
When you act condescendingly, you aren't just trying to win an argument; you are actively losing a teammate. The hidden cost of this behavior is the emotional withdrawal of your spouse. Over time, the partner on the receiving end begins to feel belittled and insecure. They stop sharing their dreams and thoughts because they fear being "corrected" or mocked.
Ephesians 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.When equality leaves the building, respect follows. A marriage without mutual respect is a house built on sand. If one partner constantly feels like they are being "patted on the head," they will eventually look for validation elsewhere or shut down entirely, leading to a lonely, fragmented home.
The Example of Humility in Christ
If anyone had the right to be a "know-it-all," it was Jesus. He literally created the universe, yet He never used His brilliance to make others feel small. In fact, the only people He truly rebuked were the Pharisees—the religious elites who used their perceived superiority to look down on everyone else. Jesus modeled a different way: a posture of radical humility.
Philippians 2:3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.To "value others above yourself" in a marriage means assuming your spouse has something valuable to say, even if you disagree with their take. It means prioritizing the relationship over the need to be the "smartest person in the room." Real intelligence in a marriage isn't about having all the answers; it’s about having the wisdom to treat your partner with the dignity they deserve as a fellow image-bearer of God.
The Takeaway
Condescension is a toxic habit that trades marital intimacy for an ego boost. By treating your spouse as an inferior rather than an equal partner, you erode the respect necessary for a healthy union. Breaking this cycle requires a commitment to humility, active listening, and the realization that being "right" is never worth the cost of making your partner feel small.

In this episode, we conclude our series on Paul Tripp’s The 14 Gospel Principles of Parenting by exploring the importance of shepherding a worshiper's heart and finding rest in God's grace. We discuss how to identify the "little g" gods that compete for our children's hearts and how to lead our children toward a full life in Jesus.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
Parenting is arguably the hardest job in the world, especially when you want to do it intentionally and well. Over this series, we have explored the core themes of Paul Tripp’s The 14 Gospel Principles of Parenting. The ultimate goal of parenting isn’t just behavior modification or being a "law-giver"; it is shepherding the heart and pointing our children to the Gospel.
As parents, we are ambassadors of Christ. We represent His grace and mercy while setting boundaries that are for our children's good. We must remember that our identity is not found in our kids; when we force them to perform to make us look good, we lose the focus of shepherding their hearts.
Parenting a Worshiper
Tripp emphasizes a crucial principle: you are parenting a worshiper. What rules your child's heart will control their behavior. Every human has an innate desire for meaning, purpose, and identity. If we don’t point our kids toward the Creator, they will chase "little g" gods. We must be vigilant about what we emphasize in our homes.
Common "false gods" that compete for our children’s hearts include:
Performance & Success: Measuring worth through grades, awards, or being the "best."
Sports: Elevating athletic prowess above all else.
Popularity & Acceptance: The desperate need to be liked by peers or social media circles.
Comfort & Entertainment: Using video games, streaming, or scrolling to avoid stress or discomfort.

When we see these behaviors, we shouldn't just punish the action. We need to have constant, intentional conversations that point back to Jesus. We must show our kids that their value isn't found in their stats or their friend groups, but in the fact that they were fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalm 139).
Finding Rest in God
Finally, we must embrace the principle of rest. It is only by resting in God's presence and grace that you will become a joyful and patient parent. When we forget who God is and what He has given us, we start shouldering burdens we were never meant to carry.
Matthew 11:28 reminds us: "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Parenting is a process—not a single conversation. Release the pressure to have all the answers. God has given you these children; trust Him to provide the wisdom, patience, and insight you need. Lead your children by fostering a personal relationship with Jesus in your own heart first.