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Trashy Royals

Hemlock Creatives
Trashy Royals
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  • Trashy Royals

    181. Grace O'Malley, Ireland's Pirate Queen

    30/04/2026 | 47 mins.
    A century and a half before the “Golden Age of Piracy,” an Irish woman of noble birth was conquering the inland seas and coastlines on the western edge of the island. Gráinne Ó Máille, anglicized to Grace O’Malley, hailed from the Umhaill line, a seafaring clan of Connacht, and while the family did conduct legitimate forms of trade, they also ran protection rackets on boats that tried to fish their waters, and sometimes plundered merchant vessels in the area, as well as settlements belonging to neighboring clans.

    Her life almost perfectly overlapped Queen Elizabeth I’s, and during Grace’s life, the English Crown was deeply invested in the conquest of Ireland, mostly by seducing its nobles into servitude with fancy English titles. Barons and Earls proliferated around Dublin for years, but English shenanigans finally reached the West of the country when Grace’s first husband was cut out from the line of succession to his family’s Chief of the Name. Then he was assassinated, leaving Grace ready and willing to enact violent revenge on his killers.

    The Crown continued eroding the alliances she was building. Her second husband was demoted from his role as regional king of Connacht while Grace was jailed on a plundering trip. When the Crown-supported king died, Grace and her husband teamed up to raise an army of 2,000 men to insure his succession. He not only got the title, but was named a Baron as well, in exchange for his promise of fealty to English law.

    But Crown agents had already set their sights on Grace O’Malley as the kind of noteworthy adversary whose arrest or death would send a message throughout the Emerald Isle, and Grace was eventually forced to sail to London to seek an audience with Queen Elizabeth herself, an effort in which she prevailed handily.

    Grace’s story is full of courage, vengeance, and daring-do, but it’s also a story rooted in specific moment in time, when the longstanding society of Ireland was changing and being changed. Ireland’s Pirate Queen Grace O’Malley saw it all up close, and as a most unconventional woman, charted her own course through.

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  • Trashy Royals

    180. Charles II in Midlife | Louise de Kérouaille Comes to Court

    23/04/2026 | 33 mins.
    Born into a noble French family in Brittany,
    Louise de Kérouaille's road to the English Court, and to Charles II's bed, passed through Charles's sister, Henrietta Anne Stuart, Duchess of Orleans. Her family, focusing on a well-worn path to prominence, originally tried to have Louise noticed by Louis XIV of France and become a royal mistress. Louis didn't bite, but the royal mistress thing worked out in the end - possibly as part of a spy plot to keep the French informed about the goings-on in England.

    In 1670, Louise accompanied Henrietta on a diplomatic mission to Dover, where Charles was trying to bypass Parliament and secure some funding from the French. Henrietta, unfortunately, died unexpectedly around this time, leaving Louise in a bit of a predicament. No worries: Charles II appointed the attractive 21-year-old as a lady-in-waiting to his wife, ensuring her presence at Court. In 1672, Louise joined the Charles II Baby Mama Club, and the following year was given the titles Baroness Petersfield, Countess of Fareham, and Duchess of Portsmouth for life.

    Whether Charles II knew or cared about the financial support and gifts that Louise was given by Louis XIV is not known, but the English people had a good sense of what was going on, and Louise was profoundly unpopular with the English public - a striking contrast to Nell Gwyn. 

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  • Trashy Royals

    179. Charles II About Town | Pretty, Witty Nell Gwyn

    16/04/2026 | 45 mins.
    One of the big changes Charles II made upon his return to his kingdom was to reopen the theaters that Cromwell and his zealots had shuttered 18 years earlier, at the start of the English Civil War. He also encouraged theaters to hire women, creating England's first class of actresses.

    And Charles being Charles, he also dated a few of those newly minted performers. Today, Alicia talks about Nell Gwyn, whose rags to riches story is an iconic part of Restoration England. Born to a (potentially unmarried) brothel owner with a serious alcohol addiction, she got her start in the theater not as an actress, but selling concessions. She was a beauty and a natural mimic, and soon enough, the manager of the King's Company, Thomas Killigrew, began training her for the stage.

    By 1665, her star was on the rise, and by the time she and Charles II were becoming a long-term couple in early 1668, Pretty, Witty Nell Gwyn was one of London's most notable people, beloved especially as a comedian.

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  • Trashy Royals

    178. Empress Anna of Russia

    09/04/2026 | 53 mins.
    It feels safe to say that when Russians recall a leader’s reign as a “dark era,” we’re into some deeply, deeply dark events. Empress Anna, a niece of Peter the (Not So) Great, had survived many humiliations before Russia’s Supreme Privy Council elevated her to Empress; they thought she would be easy to control, but instead, her decade-long reign was characterized by Anna’s cruelty and capriciousness. A career of personal vendettas was fueled by her limitless power and a secret police system she stood up to discover and end plots against her.

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  • Trashy Royals

    177. Ivan the Terrible

    02/04/2026 | 42 mins.
    You thought Henry the 8th was the worst. Welcome to his contemporary, Ivan The Terrible. Terrible might be too kind of a word. With eight wives and hundreds of thousands dead in his wake, Ivan was a master of cruelty and just might be the King of Trash for the 16th Century.

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About Trashy Royals

Whether it's the debauchery of ancient Roman emperors, the Tudor crime family, the shenanigans behind the Chair of St. Peter, or the Austrian elites’ attempts to save themselves by trading their daughters to other royal houses, it turns out that our betters have always been among our worst. Join Alicia and Stacie from Trashy Divorces as we turn our jaded eyes to a different kind of moral garbage fire: Trashy Royals! Thursdays. Brought to you by Hemlock Creatives.
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