Forrest and Dr. Rick discuss what's really wrong with the self-help industry, going beyond the obvious pseudoscience and snake oil to examine deeper structural issues. They explore the industry's mixed-bag focus on individual responsibility, the risks of turning healing into a never-ending project, performative personal growth, narcissism, social media and capitalism, and honest striving vs. hustle culture. They also talk about their personal experiences navigating our relationship to the industry. Throughout, Rick and Forrest emphasize finding the middle path: balancing agency with awareness, growth with acceptance, and sincerity with skepticism.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
4:32: Healthy striving vs. obsessive self-improvement
8:27: The role of motivation: growth, shame, and self-worth
12:13: Problems with placing all responsibility on the individual
20:46: Performative self-help and spiritual status-seeking
26:13: Excessive self-preoccupation and narcissistic drift
34:34: Buddhist insights on “selfing” and the illusion of identity
44:43: Self-help as hustle culture
50:57: The generational shift from grindset to bed rotting
54:09: The self-help industrial complex and its incentives
58:56: Commodifying the self and seeking validation
1:04:18: Creating ethical, transparent content
1:08:12: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
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1:29:38
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1:29:38
The Freeze Response, Gifted Kid Syndrome, and BPD: July Mailbag
Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions about perfectionism, performance anxiety, trauma, and relationships. They explore how early praise for being “gifted” can create a fear of failure and contribute to “failure to launch,” and share ways to shift from focusing on an idealized future to appreciating your actual self right now. They discuss learned helplessness, the freeze response, and practical ways to build agency and vitality to counter feelings of powerlessness. Other topics include the differences between borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, overcoming performance anxiety, and how to decide which friendships are worth investing in.
Key Topics:
02:30: Gifted kid syndrome and fear of failure
08:00: Moving from potential to presence
15:50: Performance anxiety and perfectionism
18:50: Redefining success through process goals
22:30: Learned helplessness and the freeze response
29:30: Reclaiming agency and vitality
38:00: Failure to launch in adulthood
45:00: BPD vs. Bipolar disorder
55:00: Rethinking modern friendship advice
1:03:34: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Try Daily30+, the 30+ plant prebiotic supplement from ZOE. Go to zoe.com/daily30 today, and you’ll get a free bright yellow ZOE tin and a magnetic scoop.
Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL.
For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60.
Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR.
Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:19:57
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1:19:57
How Real Change Happens with Elizabeth Ferreira
Forrest is joined by associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira to discuss parts work, psychological defenses, and how real change happens. They talk about the inner child work Forrest recently did during an episode with renowned therapist Terry Real, and how that led to meaningful changes in their relationship. Elizabeth and Forrest unpack the therapeutic process Terry led Forrest through, and discuss clinical technique, why small shifts can lead to big changes, the challenges of working with developmentally young material, and why insight alone is rarely enough.
The episode with Terry we refer to throughout this conversation is titled “Terry Real: Relationships, Trauma, and Inner Child Work.” Here’s the Spotify link.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:40: Elizabeth’s reaction to Forrest’s work with Terry
5:05: Avoidance vs. anxiety
7:21: Unpacking Terry Real’s therapeutic approach
14:37: Avoiding through “fixing”
20:54: What’s changed since then?
31:00: Elizabeth’s experience with inner child work
42:32: How does real change happen?
51:54: “You can’t make your partner change.”
55:15: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60.
Function is offering 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up
between July 7th and July 11th. To learn more and get started, visit www.functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL
Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you
Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:11:06
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1:11:06
Why Modern Life Doesn't Make Us Happy, and How to Fix It with Dr. William von Hippel
Life today is safer and more comfortable than ever before, so why do so many people feel unhappy, lonely, and anxious? Forrest talks with evolutionary psychologist Dr. William von Hippel about this paradox in light of our two core needs: autonomy and connection. He argues that modern life has pushed us too far in the direction of autonomy, and that we need to reclaim connection in order to find happiness.
They discuss how our evolutionary past shaped our needs for autonomy and connection, the tension between them, and why social connection matters so much for our well-being. They also touch on gender and cultural differences, common misunderstandings about evolutionary psychology, and what people can do to create more balanced and connected lives today.
About our Guest: Dr. William von Hippel is an evolutionary psychologist and former professor at the University of Queensland. He has authored over 150 scientific publications including his books The Social Leap and The Social Paradox.
Key Topics:
0:00: Why hasn’t modern life made us happier?
3:20: The evolution of autonomy and connection
10:15: How modern life favors autonomy over connection
18:10: “Sad success stories,” and the cost of competence
20:00: Competence vs warmth as social signals
26:00: Evolutionary mismatch, and its impact on well-being
29:00: How to understand evolutionary psychology
34:00: Evolved gender differences in autonomy and connection
42:00: Balancing sociocultural and evolutionary differences
49:00: What do those gender differences look like in practice?
55:50: Finding a healthy balance between autonomy and connection
1:08:55: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60.
Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.
Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you
Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:31:03
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1:31:03
Rethinking Masculinity: Strength and Connection w/ Terry and Justin Real
Forrest is joined by renowned therapist Terry Real and his son Justin for a frank exploration of modern masculinity. They talk about why so many men feel like they’re struggling these days, and how the traditional model of masculinity perpetuates this problem.
They discuss the appeal of red pill cultures, the cultural pushback against gender equality, and how to convince men that the answer is not more dominance but more connection. Other topics include emotional intelligence, creating fulfilling relationships, and how men can claim a healthier understanding of strength.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: Terry on patriarchy and male disconnection
7:56: Justin on being raised in an emotionally aware environment
11:34: The problem of male invulnerability
14:35: What do women actually want?
18:10: Strength, relationality, and loving power
27:50: Common patterns in therapy
35:20: The performance of masculinity
49:01: Parenting, gender literacy, and fatherhood
52:10: Selling this to men, and the need for new models
59:48: Recap
Rick’s Change Your Mind Course: Learn how to break old scripts, get some space around self-doubting thoughts, and act in a new way. Six-week course starts June 21, learn more about it at RickHanson.com/changing. Use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive 25% off.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60.
Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.
Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you
Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
About Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
Forrest Hanson is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and a world-class group of experts to explore the practical science of lasting well-being. Conversations focus on the key insights from psychology, science, and contemplative practice that you need to build reliable inner strengths, overcome your challenges, and get the most out of life. New episodes every Monday.
Listen to Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson, Begin Again with Davina McCall and many other podcasts from around the world with the radio.net app
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