Brown Bag Mornings

The squad hits the Homie Helpline to help Jesus decide if he should "rat out" his toxic sneaky link for giving him an STD after a secret cruise. They also investigate RFK Jr.’s "serial killer" roadkill journal and a woman who pretended to be blind for 28 years just to avoid small talk with her neighbors.

[Edited by @iamdyre 😷]

Chapters

(00:00) Don't You Know I'm Local: Baby owls are falling from the sky in Redondo Beach.

(4:00) Chisme: RFK Jr. fesses up to cutting up road-killed raccoons to "study" them.

(8:42) Petty Police: A woman in Spain fakes blindness for 28 years to avoid talking to people.

(12:37) Scrolling: The crew debates the "crunchy" lifestyle and using baking soda as toothpaste.

(18:02) The Weather W/ Concrete!

(19:13) Homie Helpline: Jesus debates exposing his "sneaky link" after a secret cruise and an STD.

(50:54) Snoop Dogg Tickets!

(53:26) Chisme: Cardi B responds to a fan crying to 'WAP' during funeral makeup prep.

(57:54) Rap Sheet: The secret Tupac lyrics for Mike Tyson's original walkout music.

(59:43) Money Moves: Tapatio’s massive buyout and why Ozempic users are buying more hot sauce.

(1:02:02) Studious Foo: The Earth is halfway through its life and having a midlife crisis.

(1:06:06) Play Ball: LeBron’s former teammate Damon Jones faces prison for an NBA betting scam.

 

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The crew is back to break down the disturbing roadkill journal entries of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. involving raccoons and baby bears. 🐻 We’re diving into a messy Homie Helpline where a caller named Jesus discovers his "sneaky link" Alejandro was hiding a main partner, a secret cruise, and a nasty STD. 🛳️💊 Plus, the squad debates the "crunchy" lifestyle—from baking soda toothpaste to organic sodas—and why being eco-friendly has become so annoying to everyone else. 🌿 We also investigate the $100K gambling betrayal of LeBron James’ former teammate and why the Earth is officially hitting its midlife crisis with only 5 billion years left to live. 🌎🔥 Don’t You Know I’m Local, so we are keeping you updated on why Ozempic users are single-handedly driving up the massive buyout price of Tapatio hot sauce! 🌶️💸

[Edited by @iamdyre 😶‍🌫️]

Chapters

(00:00) Chisme

(3:27) Petty Police

(7:20) Scrolling

(12:43) Homie Helpline

(22:52) Chisme

(27:20) Money Moves

(33:42) Play Ball

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The crew attempt to untangle a "Ponzi scheme" on the Homie Helpline after a dad asks for his baby mama’s tax return while hiding a secret history of child support delinquency. Between the family drama, the squad roasts Lamar Odom for admitting his marriage to Khloe Kardashian was a "power trip" and investigates why Gen Z is developing "balloon knots" from scrolling on the toilet for too long.

[Edited by @iamdyre 🍼]

Chapters

(00:00) Don't You Know I'm Local: California's potential ban on "fatal" artificial stone countertops.

(3:55) Chisme: Khloe Kardashian’s fury over Lamar Odom's "power trip" documentary reveal.

(7:06) Rap Sheet: Rick Ross claims fans are too "disgruntled" to sing Drake’s parts anymore.

(9:38) Petty Police: A dump truck driver returns trash to a client who refused to pay.

(13:58) Scrolling: The Virgin Mary makes a viral appearance on a stuffed chile in Mexico.

(17:55) The Weather W/ Concrete!

(19:12) Homie Helpline: Tax return battle and his "boiler room" child support situation.

(54:55) Snoop Dogg Tickets!

(56:29) Don't You Know I'm Local: Revealing the moonwalk and "the lean" were actually born in the streets of Los Angeles.

(59:23) Chisme: Selena’s brother A.B. Quintanilla’s public rant against impersonators.

(1:02:43) Rap Sheet: The "uncanny" casting of Jonathan Davis as Snoop Dogg for 2027.

(1:06:22) Money Moves: Live Nation and Ticketmaster’s billion-dollar jury verdict over hidden fees.

(1:10:23) Studious Foo: Why scrolling on the toilet is giving 18-to-30-year-olds "balloon knot" hemorrhoids.

(1:13:35) Play Ball: LaMelo Ball’s massive fine for injuring Bam Adebayo and punching Hugo the Mascot.

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Khloe Kardashian is officially "crashing out" after learning her ex Lamar Odom admitted to marrying her just for the fame and lifestyle in his new documentary. 📉 We’re diving deep into the mess after she did the whole project for free as a favor only to be called a "step to power"! 🐍 Then, in a high-stakes Homie Helpline, Munchies wants to know if he's entitled to $1,000 of his baby mama's tax return since he’s been volunteering child support and paying for daycare. 🍼💰 We also get petty with a dump truck driver who returned a literal pile of trash to a client’s driveway over an unpaid bill. 🚛💩 Plus, the "balloon knot" crisis is real—find out why scrolling on the toilet is giving Gen Z massive health issues! 📱🧻 Don’t You Know I’m Local, so we are keeping it raw with Snoop Dogg biopic casting and the war against Ticketmaster fees! 🎤🎟️

[Edited by @iamdyre 🧍‍♂️]

Chapters

(00:00) Chisme

(3:12) Petty Police

(7:30) Homie Helpline

(22:09) Rap Sheet

(25:51) Money Moves

(29:51) Studious Foo

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The squad mediates a high-stakes Homie Helpline for Liberty, whose Marine brother is speed-running into a marriage after two months for those "Wikiki Papy" housing benefits. Between the barracks drama, the crew roasts Alex Cooper's passive-aggressive Instagram war with Alex Earl and investigates why an LA medical examiner was caught pocketing gold chains from the deceased.

[Edited by @iamdyre 🔨]

Chapters

(00:00) Don't You Know I'm Local: Debunking the NASA "fake" splashdown and Victor Glover’s Pomona hero's welcome.

(4:10) Rap Sheet: Wu-Tang Clan and Sade finally get their flowers.

(6:15) Petty Police: The "white girl drama" between Alex Cooper and Alex Earl.

(10:18) Scrolling: Decoding the confusing "You are the Birthday" viral trend.

(13:54) The Weather W/ Concrete!

(15:38) Homie Helpline: Liberty’s 23-year-old Marine brother marrying a vacation hookup for benefits.

(41:58) Snoop Dogg Tickets!

(44:49) Don't You Know I'm Local: An LA medical examiner gets busted for stealing gold from the dead.

(47:26) Chisme: Shaq gets labeled a "creepy Theo" for flirting with a TMZ reporter.

(50:46) Rap Sheet: Cardi B plans to ditch English for a full Spanish album.

(54:35) Money Moves: How to trade your old "veiny" baseball bats for cash at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

(58:31) Studious Foo: Why women are evolutionarily obsessed with "fixing" bad boys.

(1:01:36) Play Ball: Roasting the LA Chargers for their "99-cent bolt" social media job salary

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