I'm Busy Being Awesome - Sustainable Productivity for ADHD

Did you know our relationships have a big impact on our productivity? When we're distracted by what's happening in our relationships, it's really hard to focus on our work.
In this special bonus episode, my dear friend Kristen Carder joins me on the day her book, You're Not in Trouble: The ADHD Guide to Building Healthy, Connected Relationships, comes out.
We talk about why she wrote a book about relationships, and we dig into her Relationship Tiers, a fresh way to apply prioritization to the people in our lives so we can stop giving all of ourselves to everyone.
In This Bonus Episode, You Will Discover:
Why Kristen chose relationships as the focus of her first book, and the story behind the title You're Not in Trouble
Ten Discernment Questions to help you decide how much of yourself to give each person in your life
Kristen's four Relationship Tiers, plus the gray rock method for the people who've been voted off the island
Where to start when you're stretched thin across a lot of relationships
Work With Me:
Learn more about private coaching here
Join We're Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
Enroll in Overwhelm to Action - step by step course for ADHD Brains
Resources From This Episode:
Get Kristen's book, You're Not in Trouble: The ADHD Guide to Building Healthy, Connected Relationships
Connect with Kristen at ihaveadhd.com
More ADHD Resources:
Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type - Free Quiz!
Get the I'm Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp
Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
Discover my favorite ADHD resources
Access the I'm Busy Being Awesome Planning System
Paula's Favorite Tools
Many of the items below are affiliate links with discounts and free trials available. They are all products I personally use and love. I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support! Disclosure info here.
Stay focused with brain.fm and get a 30-day free trial. Personalized music, backed by science, designed to help you get and stay in the zone.
Speechify: my go-to text-to-speech app. One-month free trial plus $60 off a premium subscription if you decide to keep it.
Todoist: my favorite task manager. Simple, easy to use, and incredible integration with other platforms. Get two months of premium free. No credit card required.
Wispr Flow: The best tool for talk-to-text. Awesome for verbal processing and saving time. Free trial, no credit card required.
Magnetic Tile System: My favorite tactile, visual planning approach for ADHD brains.
Leave IBBA A Rating & Review!
If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people.
Go to Apple Podcasts
Click on the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast
Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews.
Simply tap five stars; that's it!
Bonus points if you're willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!
Chapter Outline
00:00 Lunch Table Rejection
01:00 Why Relationships Matter
02:14 Meet Kristin Carter
04:43 Why Write About Relationships
07:25 Youre Not In Trouble
09:51 Hardest And Favorite Chapters
12:30 Prioritizing Friendships
16:58 Mean Girl To Middle Ground
20:55 Discernment Questions First
23:30 Relationship Tiers Explained
27:23 Tier Four And Boundaries
29:41 Gray Rock Explained
31:03 Real Life Gray Rock Examples
33:09 Let Conversations Fizzle
36:35 Tier Three Boundaries
39:56 Bandwidth Check And Data
43:39 Where To Start With Tiers
48:38 Tiers Are Not For Family Roles
52:23 Final Takeaways And Resources

If you're like me, there's probably something on your list that you'd love to check off. A project you want to finish, a goal you want to reach, a skill you want to develop. And somewhere in there, your ADHD brain offers a very confident opinion about it: that's just not possible for me.
In episode 378 of I'm Busy Being Awesome, I'm walking through the five-step process I use to move through that doubt and take action, and I'm using my own current growth edge as the live example. After 377 episodes of writing out every single word before I click record, I'm three months into an experiment to teach from an outline instead. I don't know how it ends yet, and that's kind of the point.
In Episode 378, You Will Discover:
A five-step process you can apply to any goal, skill, or project your ADHD brain has written off as impossible
Why finding real examples of what's possible does more to shift a limiting belief than motivation does
How to tell a full body yes goal from an intellectual should you've absorbed from somewhere else
Why an experiment that "fails" still counts as a win worth celebrating
Work With Me:
Learn more about private coaching here
Join We're Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
Enroll in Overwhelm to Action - step by step course for ADHD Brains
Resources From This Episode:
Simon Sinek's podcast, A Bit of Optimism: Season 6 Episode 29
#1 Powerful Question To Help Change Your Limiting Beliefs
Successful Goal Setting For ADHD
More ADHD Resources:
Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type - Free Quiz!
Get the I'm Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp
Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
Discover my favorite ADHD resources
Access the I'm Busy Being Awesome Planning System
Paula's Favorite Tools
Many of the items below are affiliate links with discounts and free trials available. They are all products I personally use and love. I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support! Disclosure info here.
Stay focused with brain.fm and get a 30-day free trial. Personalized music, backed by science, designed to help you get and stay in the zone.
Speechify: my go-to text-to-speech app. One-month free trial plus $60 off a premium subscription if you decide to keep it.
Todoist: my favorite task manager. Simple, easy to use, and incredible integration with other platforms. Get two months of premium free. No credit card required.
Wispr Flow: The best tool for talk-to-text. Awesome for verbal processing and saving time. Free trial, no credit card required.
Magnetic Tile System: My favorite tactile, visual planning approach for ADHD brains.
Leave IBBA A Rating & Review!
If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people.
Go to Apple Podcasts
Click on the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast
Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews.
Simply tap five stars; that's it!
Bonus points if you're willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!
Chapter Outline
00:00 ADHD Doubt to Action
01:27 Paula's Podcast Experiment
04:52 Simon Sinek Inspiration
08:37 Designing the Q4 Trial
12:08 Step 1 Choose Goal
13:03 Step 2 Spot Beliefs
13:51 Step 3 Find Proof
16:13 Step 4 Study Process
17:35 Step 5 Make It Yours
19:23 Weekly Challenge and Wrap
20:19 Final Thanks and Next Steps

✨ Get your free Executive Function Map here!
Two things can be true at the same time with ADHD brains. No two of us are alike, and also, the minute we start talking with another ADHDer, we're saying, "NO WAY, me too! I thought I was the only one."
In episode 377 of the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast, we look at one of the reasons behind both experiences while building your executive function map in the process. By the end, you'll have a clearer picture of which areas come more easily for you right now, which ones take the most effort, and where a little more support would make the biggest difference.
In Episode 377, You Will Discover:
What executive functions are, why they matter for the ADHD brain, and why access to them changes from day to day
The 10 executive function and self-regulation areas that shape our everyday functioning, and what each one looks like when it comes more easily
How to narrow all ten down to the one or two areas that would benefit most from support right now
The three questions that turn one area into a practical experiment you can actually run
Work With Me:
Learn more about private coaching here
Join We're Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
Enroll in Overwhelm to Action - step by step course for ADHD Brains
Resources From This Episode:
Your Executive Function Map - Free Download
Episode 325: ADHD Object Permanence & 3 Tips to Support Your Brain (working memory)
Episode 363: The ADHD To-Do List Strategy You're Missing (the breadcrumb strategy
More ADHD Resources:
Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type - Free Quiz!
Get the I'm Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp
Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
Discover my favorite ADHD resources
Access the I'm Busy Being Awesome Planning System
Paula's Favorite Tools
Many of the items below are affiliate links with discounts and free trials available. They are all products I personally use and love. I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support! Disclosure info here.
Stay focused with brain.fm and get a 30-day free trial. Personalized music, backed by science, designed to help you get and stay in the zone.
Speechify: my go-to text-to-speech app. One-month free trial plus $60 off a premium subscription if you decide to keep it.
Todoist: my favorite task manager. Simple, easy to use, and incredible integration with other platforms. Get two months of premium free. No credit card required.
Wispr Flow: The best tool for talk-to-text. Awesome for verbal processing and saving time. Free trial, no credit card required.
Magnetic Tile System: My favorite tactile, visual planning approach for ADHD brains.
Leave IBBA A Rating & Review!
If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people.
Go to Apple Podcasts
Click on the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast
Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews.
Simply tap five stars; that's it!
Bonus points if you're willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!
Chapter Outline
00:00 ADHD No Way Moment
01:03 Executive Function Paradox
02:52 What Executive Functions Do
06:38 ADHD And EF Variability
09:19 Core EF Frameworks
11:04 Build Your EF Map
13:20 EF 1-5 Quick Scan
20:24 EF 6-10 Deep Dive
26:32 Pick Your Friction Points
29:25 Ease Effort Support Questions
31:49 Email Example And Experiments
36:11 Wrap Up And Free Download

You did the thing everyone tells an ADHD brain to do with a big project: you broke it into steps. And instead of feeling calmer, your brain looked at the list and said, "There's no way I can get all of this done." If this experience sends you straight into avoidance, panic, or procrasti-working, episode 376 has one simple question that can shift you out of the spiral and into action.
In Episode 376, You Will Discover:
Why breaking a project into steps can trigger more ADHD overwhelm, not less
The hidden assumption inside the thought "there's no way I can get this all done"
One simple question that interrupts the spiral and how to use it throughout your life.
Work With Me:
Learn more about private coaching here
Join We're Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
Enroll in Overwhelm to Action - step by step course for ADHD Brains
More ADHD Resources:
Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type - Free Quiz!
Get the I'm Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp
Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
Discover my favorite ADHD resources
Access the I'm Busy Being Awesome Planning System
Paula's Favorite Tools
Many of the items below are affiliate links with discounts and free trials available. They are all products I personally use and love. I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support! Disclosure info here.
Stay focused with brain.fm and get a 30-day free trial. Personalized music, backed by science, designed to help you get and stay in the zone.
Speechify: my go-to text-to-speech app. One-month free trial plus $60 off a premium subscription if you decide to keep it.
Todoist: my favorite task manager. Simple, easy to use, and incredible integration with other platforms. Get two months of premium free. No credit card required.
Wispr Flow: The best tool for talk-to-text. Awesome for verbal processing and saving time. Free trial, no credit card required.
Magnetic Tile System: My favorite tactile, visual planning approach for ADHD brains.
Leave IBBA A Rating & Review!
If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people.
Go to Apple Podcasts
Click on the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast
Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews.
Simply tap five stars; that's it!
Bonus points if you're willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!
Chapter Outline
00:00 Overwhelm After Planning
02:07 Why ADHD Goes All or Nothing
03:38 How Avoidance Spirals Start
05:52 Check Your Full Body Yes
07:54 The One Grounding Question
09:24 Client Example SOPs
11:02 Home Declutter Example
12:16 When Deadlines Are Real
13:44 Nonnegotiables Versus Nice
17:59 Wrap Up & Next Steps

If you've ever set a goal at the start of a quarter and watched it fall apart by the end of week one, your ADHD brain has probably drawn some conclusions about you and goal setting. So when you sit down to plan something new, a thought might show up that sounds like "why even bother? I'll just feel disappointed anyway."
In episode 375, we're borrowing a practice from the business world called a pre-mortem, where you imagine the project already fell apart and work backward from there. I've adapted it for ADHD brains so the exercise helps you feel prepared and capable.
In Episode 375, You Will Discover:
Why the six to eight week stretch in quarter four is such a useful window for one focused goal
What a pre-mortem is, how it differs from a post-mortem, and a powerful modification for ADHD brains
The five questions that help you plan for obstacles while keeping the exercise contained and supportive
How to decide, ahead of time, what supporting yourself looks like on your lowest capacity days
Work With Me:
Learn more about private coaching here
Join We're Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
Enroll in Overwhelm to Action - step by step course for ADHD Brains
Resources From This Episode:
Episode 360: Personal Retreat Guide for ADHD Brains
Download the step-by-step quarterly retreat guide
Overwhelm to Action LIVE
More ADHD Resources:
Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type - Free Quiz!
Get the I'm Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp
Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
Discover my favorite ADHD resources
Access the I'm Busy Being Awesome Planning System
Paula's Favorite Tools
Many of the items below are affiliate links with discounts and free trials available. They are all products I personally use and love. I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support! Disclosure info here.
Stay focused with brain.fm and get a 30-day free trial. Personalized music, backed by science, designed to help you get and stay in the zone.
Speechify: my go-to text-to-speech app. One-month free trial plus $60 off a premium subscription if you decide to keep it.
Todoist: my favorite task manager. Simple, easy to use, and incredible integration with other platforms. Get two months of premium free. No credit card required.
Wispr Flow: The best tool for talk-to-text. Awesome for verbal processing and saving time. Free trial, no credit card required.
Magnetic Tile System: My favorite tactile, visual planning approach for ADHD brains.
Leave IBBA A Rating & Review!
If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people. Thanks for your support!
Go to Apple Podcasts
Click on the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast
Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews.
Simply tap five stars; that's it!
Bonus points if you're willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!
Chapter Outline
00:00 ADHD Premortem Intro
01:09 Q4 Sweet Spot Goals
03:38 Five Question Overview
04:22 Premortem Explained
05:29 Pick Your Project
06:02 Why ADHD Needs Tweaks
09:20 Question One Motivation
12:43 Question Two Obstacles
16:31 Question Three Plan Ahead
21:53 Question Four Low Capacity
24:12 Question Five Pride
25:33 Wrap Up Quick Start
26:34 Overwhelm To Action
27:22 Recap And Next Steps