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  • E7 First Person Charlottesville - Pastor Michael Cheuk
    CL: Welcome to First Person Cville, the podcast. I'm your host, Charles Lewis. I’m also the co-host of In My Humble Opinion from 101 Jamz. Today we are joined by Pastor Michael Cheuck. He’s the author of an essay called, “In Charlottesville's Summer of Hate, a Chinese-American Pastor Found His Place in the Struggle for Civil Rights.”  Pastor Cheuk and his family immigrated to Shreveport, Louisiana from Hong Kong in the early 1970s. He was in elementary school at the time, in a town where hardly anyone looked like him.  MC: And that experience really shaped and formed my desire to really fit in, to assimilate. Having said that, though, the model was white America. I quickly picked up some of the assumptions of like what it means to be a “good American,” how one should speak, how one should act, how one should dress - in the context of Shreveport, right. And so I'll tell you one story. We lived in a neighborhood that was built right after World War Two. And it was a declining neighborhood. There were white folks, there were Black folks, you know, a handful, a couple of Asians, because my uncle and his family lived literally across the street, right. We were eating dinner and I heard a knock on the door. So I kind of made our way up to the front and kind of peeked out the window. And I saw this Black man. I didn't know who he was. And I looked a little bit further down and there was kind of a car and maybe the hood was up, you know. And I froze. All four of us just went quiet as a mouse. And we just did not respond. And then after a while, that person went across the street and knocked on the door and one of our Black neighbors opened the door. And a couple of minutes later, you know, they were trying to start his car.  CL: Right, right.  MC: And I came to the realization that, my goodness, I was probably... 10 or 12? I hadn't been in the States for that long. But there was this assumption that, “Oh, strange Black men are dangerous.” And somehow that message that was never explicitly told to us got embedded into my psyche.  CL: So where do you think that that internalization came from? And what part do you think that experiences like that play into your understanding of race relations now? MC: That's a very good question. because and i have to confess, right it was a long time ago, so there wasn't like a moment. or… But I do believe that it was kind of like in the air that I breathed. I went to First Baptist Shreveport, and that is a church that was quite affluent. There were no Black people. And so I think part of it was my own insecurity. A part of it was, you know, like wanting to kind of attain that level of respectability. And I think on the flip side of that then is like, “Well, maybe I either should not really relate to or have an openness to kind of have a relationship to some of the kids who are Black in my own street.” And those are some of the things that I think culturally, looking back, I can see how my path kind of diverged. And I took the path of, “Let's try and assimilate myself into the white kind of standard.” CL: Fast forward to 2015 and Pastor Cheuk was living and working in Charlottesville. He got a call from another pastor in town who wanted to bridge the he saw gaps between religious congregations — gaps in diversity and inclusion that Pastor Cheuk had grown up with.   MC: The Charlottesville Clergy Collective came together after the shooting at Mother Emanuel. Pastor Alvin Edwards, pastor of Mount Zion First African Baptist Church here in town — former mayor and school board chair — he asked himself the question, “If something like that, that happened at Mother Emanuel, were to happen at my church, what would I do and who would I call?” He started calling the pastors that he knew for a breakfast to come, and he asked that question. When he asked it, we looked around each other and then Alvin dropped the bomb, the mic, whatever, and said, “I would call none of you because I don't really know you. So: what do you think about us coming together regularly, monthly, to have conversations, to build relationships? So that at the very least we get to know one another and we learn to trust each other more. So that if and when, God forbid, something awful happens, we might have, we can support one another.” So that was in 2015, right? And then Trump got elected in 2016, and we began to like, “Oh, you know, there's just certain things that we need to do to be more public instead of just getting together for breakfast and talk.” And then we had the beginning of 2017. There was so much more activity and interest from other faith groups and other faith leaders saying, “Hey, this Unite the Right thing, right, or this KKK coming is not good. What are we going to do about it? What are you all thinking about doing?”  CL: Now you stated in your writing that that initially um you were not going to respond to the Unite the Right rally.  MC: Yeah! CL: why did you decide to respond the way that you did or that the collective decided to? MC: A big part of it was simply to hear about um both from our Black brothers and sisters and others, to say like, “No, this is, we cannot sit this one out. We cannot.” And so I had to lean into my discomfort. And so, yeah, maybe there's a little bit of peer pressure, just to be honest, right? But I think there are times when peer pressure can be good to know that like I don't have to do this all by myself, that there are others who are also doing it with me. And here, in this particular part of it, I really appreciated both in the Collective and in congregate to say, “Look, There is a whole menu of items or a menu of actions that you can take. We don't all have to do the same thing. As a matter of fact, we can't and we shouldn't do all the same things.” And so that gave me a vision of what invited me to ask of myself: what am I good at? How can I contribute in a way that is based on my gifts and my strengths? And let's just be very clear. I was in a church building. I was not out of the streets for hours on end. And yet even in the small corner of where I was, there's so many people that I did not know whose beliefs I did not share. And yet we all came together and say, “This moment is important and we're not going to stay at home. We're going to do our part.” And so kind of spiritually speaking, I think it's really the first time in my life that I experienced solidarity in such an embodied and concrete way. And I'm grateful for that. CL: So as your understanding has changed over the years, like whose fight, like, do you think that it is for for racial equality? Is it the Christian's place? Is it the politician's place? Or is it the fight, is it still just the fight of minorities in this country? MC: Well, it's all of our jobs. We have our own unique role in it. And like for somebody like me, I have to, like in my essay, acknowledge that even though I literally and my ancestors were literally not in the United States, right? For me to be a part of this job, this work, is this also once again acknowledging that in the short time that my family immigrated here, the short time that I was in the States, I quickly metabolized and assumed many of the assumptions and biases of this society. And then it came to the point where I was beginning to understand that even as I was feeling like this is a sanctuary, it implied also included the exclusion of others, right? And so, I want to continue to live a life of greater authenticity and wholeness. I can acknowledge that I am embedded in a society, in a system that has these assumptions about the worth, inherent worth of people based on how much melanin, how much pigment they have on their skin, right?  CL: Right.  MC: And so having clarity about that and then just say, “What is my now responsibility to live in such a way to begin to address that?” First in my own life and also in the lives of others. CL: The First Person Charlottesville essay and entitled In Charlottesville's Summer of Hate, a Chinese-American pastor found his place in the struggle for civil rights by Pastor Michael Chuck can be found at cvilleInclusiveMedia.com. We want to hear your story and tell the story of our community together. Share your perspective with First Person Cville at cvilleInclusiveMedia.com slash projects. The First Person Cville podcast is a production of Charlottesville Inclusive Media. It's hosted by me, Charles Lewis, and the In My Humble Opinion talk show. Like what you hear? Subscribe and follow us at imhotalkshow.org. This episode of First Person Cville was produced by Kelly Jones. Music for this episode came from Epidemic Sound. Theme music is from God Vibes by Miguel and Morris, produced by NYC Bangers.Episode Notes Notes go here Find out more at https://in-my-humble-opinion.pinecast.co This podcast is powered by Pinecast.
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  • First Person Cville | Michael Cheuk - Ep. 7 Audiogram
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  • E6 First Person Charlottesville - Marian Dixon
    Charles Lewis: Welcome to First Person Cville, the podcast. I'm Charles Lewis, your host, and also the co-host of In My Humble Opinion, from 101.3 FM. Marian Dixon was born in Charlottesville. At 80 years old, her wisdom and insights are an inspiration—even if her experiences haven’t always been uplifting. See, Marian knows about intense grief. Marian Dixon: Everybody has their own way of grieving. Some people can get over it faster than others and some of it takes a long time to do. It affects you both mentally and physically. It really does. Charles Lewis: When Marian was just 19 years old, her infant daughter Varinia suddenly died. Marian Dixon: It was just a shock, you know, to play with your baby, nurse her, and then go back to get her up and she's gone. I hadn't cried through our daughter's death. I hadn't cried through making arrangements, the funeral, the burial, none of it. I had not cried. I went from them telling me she was gone into this -- the best I can explain it -- it was like I was in this room inside of a room, and it was like I could see everything going on around me and what everybody was doing, but I was not a part of that. I was just in limbo. I was just there. I wasn't hurting anybody. I just wasn't functioning. I had been going through what they classified massive depression for a while it had been, I guess, a couple of months. And I was standing at the window in my glass box, my invisible glass box, looking out the window. And our oldest daughter, she came into the house and I was standing and she grabbed me by my dress. And she told me, “Mama, [daughter’s name?] is gone, but you still have us.” That was all she said. Which was really shocking to hear a six year old say that. And when she when she said that it was though someone just really hit me in my stomach and I start screaming and crying and I cried and cried. I don't know how long I cried A couple of hours. About two or 3 hours, I don't know. But I cried and cried and I could hear my mama say, “Just leave her alone. Let her get it out. Let her get it out.” And a couple of days after that, I was back to myself. Charles Lewis: So what do you believe is the lesson in all of it? You know, especially when you think about I'm going through grief and depression to that to that level. Like, do you feel like there was a lesson to learn? Marian Dixon: Not necessarily a lesson, but it's just something some time we have to go through. And it does make us stronger on the other side once you get through it. And it's been a lot of things that, as far as my family is concerned and the deaths in my family that I had to go through, but I was better equipped to accept them after going through what I did in the past. It makes it easier for you to deal with other things, especially if something else happens. That fear was there for a while, quite some time. And not realize that we don't have no control over how long a person lives or anything like that. Two years later, we had our middle son. And it was sort of like, we all spoiled him. We were thinking something was going to happen to him. So, we spoiled him. All of us did, is, you know, every time he went to sleep or anything like that is this is sisters and his brothers was looking at him to make sure he was all right, you know. But after that, after, you know, the fear left in that extra fear that was in the back of your mind and left after he began to grow and be with the rest of them. Charles Lewis: Baby Varinia’s death wasn’t the only time that Marian would wrestle with grief. She’s also buried two of adult daughters—and her husband of 60 years. Marian admits that, even though she’s a woman of strong faith, she used to be angry with God. Marian Dixon: I had to humble myself and ask for forgiveness. It was years later when our youngest daughter at that particular time died and I was angry with God. I mean, Rinia was a baby, you can kind of accept that that she was younger. But when your children grow up, you expect them to bury you, not you bury them. We've had to bury two of our daughters as they've been grown. I was more able to with Barbara, I guess, the way she was, she had just started pastoring and all and I really get angry, you know, and I didn't realize it at first. And I had to ask God's forgiveness. Who am that who he created to get mad with him? And then with my, our oldest daughter when she passed, I was more ready to accept it because of the fact she was a pastor, too. I was more able to accept the death of my husband after 60 some years. Yes, I miss him. You know someone about half your life and we were teens when we got married. But I just thank God for the experiences that I have been through. And still might have to go through. Because tomorrow's not promised to you. Next second isn’t. But I thank God for where he already brought me through and where he's taking me. Charles Lewis: One of the reasons the story is so pertinent is that clinical depression is at an all time high. And so what's your words of encouragement to those who are in the middle of it and don't see a way out? Marian Dixon: You know, if you feel yourself getting into a state where you would want to do your self harm or you worried about this one because they're gone. Be able to talk about it. Don't leave it in you. You know, because when things stay in you and you don't talk about them, it's like a cancer and it eats at you. If you need help and you're going through things and it's bothering you, seek help. Seek help. CL: You can find Marion’s story at vinegar hill magazine dot com. We want to hear your story and tell the story of our community together. Share your perspective with First Person Cville at cvilleinclusivemedia.com/projects. The First Person Cville podcast is a production of Charlottesville Inclusive Media. It's hosted by me, Charles Lewis, and the In My Humble Opinion Talk Show. Like what you hear? Subscribe and follow us at imhotalkshow.org. This episode was produced by Kelly Jones. Music for this episode came from Epidemic Sound. IMHO music was from God Vamps by Miguel and Morse with NYC bangers on production. Episode Notes Find out more at https://in-my-humble-opinion.pinecast.co
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  • First Person Cville | Marian Dixon - Ep. 6 Audiogram
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  • E5 First Person Charlottesville - Marley Nichelle
    Charles Lewis: Welcome to First Person Cville, the podcast. I'm Charles Lewis, your host, and also the co-host of In My Humble Opinion, from 101.3 FM. One night—while visiting a friend in New York City—photographer Marley Nichelle had a weird dream. Marley Nichelle: In the dream it was this woman telling me that I was a messenger. She said, You got to send out the message. And I was like, What message? Like? What is she talking about? CL: The next morning, Marley didn’t have much to do. So they started going through their harddrive, organizing old photos. Marley Nichelle: And as I was going through all my photos, I was like, while I. I really got some nice portraits of a lot of Black people like we are not opposed, like and that's when it hit me. I said, that's it. And I realized my whole career I have been creating work that surrounds things that are not oppressive. And that's the message. CL: Marley decided to put together a photo essay to capture that message—in Marley’s own words, they wanted to “create a narrative of liberation and healing for communities of blackness by showing them power through language and visual arts.” And they called the series: “No, We Are Not Oppressed.” Charles Lewis: How have you used your camera to self liberate as well as liberate others? Marley Nichelle: Through the stories I tell. As artists, it's our job to evoke emotions. I had to be taught that and not be afraid to. You know, tap to my emotions and how I'm feeling, because honestly, that is what helps me create the world. Liberating work is not just for people, it's for me too. And I feel like every artist should have a way to where they take their pain and trauma, their negatives, their bads, their pain, and make it something beautiful. It’s so important for me when I navigate through my emotions and my healing is like, how do I take these things and put it into art? And a lot of times when I have conversations with people just in Charlottesville, I hear, like I say, hearing people's stories is so heartbreaking and I'm so compassionate because I don't want people feeling that way. Like I don't want Black people here to feel like they can't thrive or they can't succeed because it's so oppressing. And it's like oppression is a mindset for real. It's really a mindset. Llike, when I realized that, I was like, okay, I feel like the easiest way to help people is through art. And I hate that my work only pertains, like a lot of people do tell me like, you only do work for Black people. I your work is just around like, so run around Black people only like why don't you, you know, have it diverse? And I'd be like, because this is a real life reality of my life. Like this is how I was raised, this is how I grew up. This is all I know. HBCU life, all of those things, like just being around blackness is all I know. I don't want to change that because I benefited from that. Like, I can go anywhere and know that I belong, especially with a camera, you know, and I want to just show other Black people, that too. And you can go anywhere and belong. And I get to tell those stories behind my lens, and that's why I create those liberating stories. And that to me is, is empowering because it's like, yes, figure it out. Charles Lewis: Now when you have you would people considered oppression In Charlottesville. How has it been different than what oppression may look like in the Gullah Geechee community? Marley Nichelle: You know, this is why I always encourage people to leave away from home, because you get to see a different perspective of oppression. And when you live in Gullah culture, we really are self-sufficient culture like, land is important to us. Surviving is like we don't depend on anybody. You know. To provide for us. We just do we have a do it ourselves mentality. And so being raised like that and coming here, like a lot of times I would look at Black people and be like, Well, why don't you just do it yourself? And some people will get offended by, you know, like, and I wasn't I, I wasn't meaning it in like a just like a negative way. I was really trying to say, like, you can do it yourself. You know? And I realized a lot of people around here don't hear that a lot. It's really a big thing and coming here. Seeing people being gentrified, like displaced and living in the standard that they live in and stuff in Charlottesville was really triggering for me because I'd never seen a thing like that. And so I had to be there here seeing like, okay, Black people here, they're losing their land here to just like they're losing their land in the Gullah Geechee corridor. But I also see how we continue to stick together, you know, because we look at it from a cultural perspective. We want to keep the culture going. My Gullah community raised me to be and to show Black people, No, we're not oppressed. Like we can do this if we want to. There's power within ourselves. So I feel like we have similar issues from a racial perspective, but it's still different culturally. It's just different culturally. I'm trying to connect Gullah culture, show the similarities in Gullah culture in a lot of way, but use my culture because it's a liberating and rebellious culture. I'm using that through the No We Are Not Oppressed series by documenting these different Black and brown people from different cultures of blackness to show diversity. Because a lot of Black people don't know that within blackness we're diverse. They think everybody Black, we all are the same. And it's not that's not what it is. And so, No We Are Not Oppressed shows the differences in our cultures within blackness, while also showing that we too still belong, although that we are culturally different. Charles Lewis: Now, speaking of which: culture, land. You recently took a trip to Ghana to take pictures of the experience and work to translate it back here in Charlottesville. So can you share more about that work, including like, what does oppression look and feel like in that space? Marley Nichelle: So the experience that was my second return to Ghana and the first time I went, it was…I had just gotten into photography and I was actually learning how to…I'm self-taught. So like I teach myself how to take pictures. Really for real. And I was just like, Well, I'm going practice. And when I did, I was like, okay, this is a different vibe. But the second time I went as an actual professional photographer, like mastering the knowledge of photography. And this time it was different because I actually had a different eye vision and I could like literally feel the oppressiveness within Ghana, not through not through race, but politically. I do feel like there's a big disconnect between Africans and African-Americans. Our realities are always displayed through the media in such dangerous ways to where a lot of Africans look at it like we're ungrateful and, you know, we are spoiled and we don’t…and I understand where they're coming from, from their circumstances and them not having the resources that we do. But then I also look at our reality, too, and I have to sometimes tell them it's the same because of politics. And once I started recognizing that deeply more going to Ghana, like my second return, I was able to like communicate with other Ghanaians by learning like I just haven't how I did here when I moved here just getting to know the community. I did the same thing when I went to Ghana. Like I'm not here to just vacation and have a good time. I'm here to learn. Like, what knowledge can I take back home to help? Or how can we reconnect to, like, just hear each other's stories? That trip really showed me the importance of connecting with Africans and Africans connecting with Black Americans and how we can just together figure out a way to like show each other and hear each other's stories. Because both perspectives, honestly, when it comes to the transatlantic slave trade, are valid. It's not just Black people in America. It's not just our trauma it’s Africans trauma too right, and we have to listen to each other. Charles Lewis [00:05:59]Like, what does it look like to to navigate, quote unquote, oppression for you as a Black person who's openly part of the LGBTQIA-plus community? [8.7s] Marley Nichelle: Oh, that's that is a really good question, because I have never felt oppression from a racial perspective, but I've always felt it from being queer within the community, though. And that's the community of blackness. And then for me, like I've been queer my whole life, so trying to even grow up and understand it was kind of hard. And so me now, though, in the space that I am, you know, through, I'm really big on healing, like that's why I created the No We Are Not Oppressed to be a narrative of healing, to show perfection in imperfection. A lot of people may not believe it because I don't carry it. But I do feel pressure sometimes in certain situations, especially being queer. But I never try to show it because it's I feel like I can overcome it. It's just navigating, trying to figure out how to overcome it, to be able to be like an example for the next person. Charles Lewis: What advice would you give a young person who wants to work at this intersection of photography and social justice? Marley Nichelle For real for real the best advice I could ever give a younger person is to never think too deep into it and to always stay true to yourself when it comes to your beliefs, what you feel, what you stand in, and always give yourself room to grow. [19.1s] [00:26:36]Everything is is…I tell people it's a process. And even though four years seems like a short amount of time to do a lot of things with my photography, for me, it feels longer because. I put in a lot of work. And when I say that, like I want people to really understand like that is the key to success and being able to like take risks and and believe in yourself and confident and not expect “Yes” every time. Know how to navigate when being told no, because it can be hard. Like I told people I would like. I get so upset when I get so No for a grant. It feels so sad. You know what I'm saying is like, oh my gosh, I really want to do this. But it's just, you know, a part of life you have to figure out and navigate, you know, your way to to get to where you want to go. And for people who are young, like if you're a young, give yourself some grace. You've got a lot of time to really grow and really grow and see your art have a purpose in everything you do and just be intentional in it like. Don't be afraid of what the world sees. And just like dream big. CL: You can find Marley’s “No, We Are Not Oppressed” photo essay at vinegar hill magazine dot com. Their portfolio is on Instagram at: marleys creative world We want to hear your story and tell the story of our community together. Share your perspective with First Person Cville at cvilleinclusivemedia.com/projects. The First Person Cville podcast is a production of Charlottesville Inclusive Media. It's hosted by me, Charles Lewis, and the In My Humble Opinion Talk Show. Like what you hear? Subscribe and follow us at imhotalkshow.org. This episode was produced by Kelly Jones. Music for this episode came from Epidemic Sound. IMHO music was from God Vibes by Miguel and Morse with NYC bangers on production.
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