Let’s Talk Memoir

• 158. Writing About a Past Where You Weren’t Present featuring Karen Kirsten

  Karen Kirsten joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about the messy complexity of family, asking the right questions, writing about a time in history when you weren’t present in that history, utilizing and incorporating primary research, recorded interviews, archived documents, diaries, film, and photographs into memoir, writing fact-based vivid scenes, working with historians to accurately depict world-altering events, being honest with the reader and grappling with conflicting information on the page, changing the central question of your memoir, being a detective and being dogged, having a care plan and a nurturing creative community, writing about transgenerational trauma, inserting yourself into the narrative as a character, and her new memoir Irina’s Gift.   Also in this episode: -structural changes late in the process -delaying reveals to add suspense -using image systems to address transgenerational trauma   Books mentioned in this episode:    The Fact of a Body by Alex Marzano-Lesnevich The Most Dangerous Book by Kevin Birmingham The Sinner and the Saint by Kevin Birmingham Fairyland by Alysia Abbott The Postcard by Anne Berest The Situation and the Story by Vivian Gornick Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel WIlkers The Neapolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante Leviathan by Paul Auster Question 7 by Richard Flanagan Swimming in Paris: A Life in Three Stories by Colombe Schneck Who I Always Was by Theresa Okokon Karen Kirsten is the author of Irena’s Gift, a National Jewish Book Award finalist for Autobiography & Memoir, winner of Zibby Awards for Best Family Drama & Best Story of Overcoming, and an Australian Jewish Book Award finalist. Irena’s Gift is also The Australian newspaper’s’notable book’, and described by Pulitzer prize winning author Geraldine Brooks as ”a disturbing investigation into the power of secrets to harm and to haunt.”   Karen is an Australian-American writer and Holocaust educator who speaks around the world on the topics of hate and reconciliation. Karen’s essay “Searching for the Nazi Who Saved My Mother’s Life” was selected by Narratively as one of their Best Ever stories and nominated for The Best American Essays. Karen’s writing has also appeared in Salon.com, The Week, The Jerusalem Post, Huffington Post*, Boston’s National Public Radio station, The Boston Herald, The Sydney Morning Herald, and more.    Connect with Karen: Website: https://www.karenkirsten.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/findingbabcie/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karen.kirsten Book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/747811/irenas-gift-by-karen-kirsten/   – Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, Poets & Writers, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories.  She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and teaches memoir through the University of Washington's Online Continuum Program and also independently. She launched Let's Talk Memoir in 2022, lives in Seattle with her family of people and dogs, and is at work on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com Subscribe to Ronit’s Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank https://bsky.app/profile/ronitplank.bsky.social   Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

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• 157. The Boundaries and Distance We Need to Tell Certain Stories featuring Paula Delgado-Kling

  Paula Delgado-Kling joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about how her research and reporting on child soldiers, drug trafficking, and the revolutionary armed forces of Columbia (FARC) led her to tell the story of one woman and her family, the relationships we forge with whom we write about, allowing memoir to answer our questions, negotiating language barriers and class differences, coming to truth and understanding, grounding ourselves, hitting upon the structure a book needs, searching for humanity amidst ongoing violence, and her new book Leonor: The Story of a Lost Childhood.   Also in this episode: -working as a journalist -becoming embedded in the story we’re covering  -negotiating dangerous environments to gather information   Books mentioned in this episode: Tastes Like War by Grace M. Cho It can take a really long time but that doesn’t mean it isn’t important or good.   Paula Delgado-Kling holds degrees in comparative literature/French civilizations, international affairs, and creative writing from Brown University, Columbia University, and The New School, respectively. Leonor, for which she received two grants from the Canadian Council for the Arts, is her first book. Excerpts of this book have appeared in Narrative, The Literary Review, Pacifica Literary Review, and Happano.org in Japan. Her work for the Mexican monthly news magazine Gatopardo was nominated for the Simon Bolivar Award, Colombia’s top journalism prize, and anthologized in Las Mejores Crónicas de Gatopardo (Random House Mondadori, 2006). Born in Bogota, Colombia and raised in Toronto, Canada, Delgado-Kling now splits her time between Boca Raton, FL and New York City. To learn more, please visit PaulaDelgadoKling.com or follow her on Instagram @PaulaDelgadoKling. Connect with Paula Website: http://pauladelgadokling.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091961238236 Twitter: https://twitter.com/ColombiaTalk Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pauladelgadokling/ Get the book: https://www.amazon.com/Leonor-Story-Childhood-Paula-Delgado-Kling/dp/1682194477?crid=1M4ML48WOEEV7&keywords=leonor&qid=1683308327&s=books&sprefix=leonor,stripbooks,97&sr=1-1&linkCode=sl1&tag=ongoicom-20&linkId=986106192c06afd126c43cfe6d22043d&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl   – Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, Poets & Writers, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories.  She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and teaches memoir through the University of Washington's Online Continuum Program and also independently. She launched Let's Talk Memoir in 2022, lives in Seattle with her family of people and dogs, and is at work on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com Subscribe to Ronit’s Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank https://bsky.app/profile/ronitplank.bsky.social   Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

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• 156. Taking Power Back with the Stories We Are Called to Tell featuring Diane Vonglis Parnell

  Diane Vonglis Parnell joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about growing up with 9 siblings on an isolated farm under the tyranny of her abusive father and living in constant fear, homing in on the story we are called to tell, steering clear of portraying ourselves as victim or hero, not having closure, yearning for a mother, emotional absence, self-nurturing, trusting readers, the toll of secrets, changing names of family members, sharing manuscripts with siblings, writing about abusers, taking power back, and her new memoir The Taste of Anger.   Also in this episode: -the importance of therapy to memoirists -opting for a child narrator -writing about emotional neglect and depression   Books mentioned in this episode: The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealey Creep by Myriam Gurba   Diane Vonglis Parnell grew up on a remote farm in Western New York with nine siblings. Her essay Blame the Milkman was a winner in the Fish Publishing short memoir contest, and included in the Fish Anthology 2022. Vonglis Parnell is a Scrabble enthusiast, and a lover of progressive rock music. She serves as a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) volunteer for abused children in her community, and lives a minimalist’s life in a 200-square-foot cottage in San Luis Obispo, California.  Connect with Diane: Facebook.com/dianevonglisparnell Instagram: @dianevonglisparnell – Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, Poets & Writers, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories.  She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and teaches memoir through the University of Washington's Online Continuum Program and also independently. She launched Let's Talk Memoir in 2022, lives in Seattle with her family of people and dogs, and is at work on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com Subscribe to Ronit’s Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank https://bsky.app/profile/ronitplank.bsky.social   Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

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• 155. Grappling with Contradictions and Leaving Readers Room to Decide featuring Martha S. Jones

  Martha S. Jones joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about being Black, white, and other in America, the origins of her family in slavery and sexual violence, anti-miscegenation laws, passing, who we call kin and why, taking up space, avoiding the Black-White binary, discovering family stories, writing in a full-throated way, leaving complexity in our work, being patient with our material, chasing threads, the duty we have to the people we write about, grappling with contradictions, leaving readers room to decide, writing and rewriting to get someplace new, the courage it takes to confront the past, and her new book The Trouble of Color: An American Family Memoir. Also mentioned in this episode: -false starts -feeling ready to be read -taking care of ourselves when writing   Books mentioned in this episode: Heavy by Kiese Laymon Memorial Drive by Natasha Tretheway Black is the Body by Emily Bernard Thick by Tracy McMillan Cotton Inventing the Truth by William Zissner    Martha S. Jones is the Society of Black Alumni Presidential Professor, professor of history, and a professor at the SNF Agora Institute at the Johns Hopkins University. A prizewinning author and editor of four books, her forthcoming The Trouble of Color: An American Family Memoir, confronts the limits of the historian’s craft in this powerful memoir of family, color, and being Black, white, and other in America. She is past copresident of the Berkshire Conference of Women Historians and has contributed to the New York Times, Atlantic, and many other publications. She lives in Baltimore, Maryland. Connect with Martha: Website: www.marthasjones.com X: https://x.com/marthasjones_ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marthasjones Book: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/martha-s-jones/the-trouble-of-color/9781541601000/?lens=basic-books – Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, Poets & Writers, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories.  She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and teaches memoir through the University of Washington's Online Continuum Program and also independently. She launched Let's Talk Memoir in 2022, lives in Seattle with her family of people and dogs, and is at work on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com Subscribe to Ronit’s Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank https://bsky.app/profile/ronitplank.bsky.social   Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

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• 154. Mothers and Other Fictional Characters: a Memoir in Essays featuring Nicole Graev Lipson

  Nicole Graev Lipson joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about our culture’s fascination with reducing women to readymade templates and archetypes, performing fictional versions of ourselves, finding our way back to who we are, the essay as a place where writers can grapple with confusion, working sentence by sentence, finding the most precise microscopic truth, embracing our particularities, focusing on we’re enthralled with, what it means to be a woman today, writing about children, attention as a loving act, drawing from the mess, writing as our own form of protest, how writing can be a shame eraser, and her new book Mothers and Other Fictional Characters. Also in this episode: -finding your genre -the architecture of the sentence -finding community with other writers   Books mentioned this episode:  The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland Any Person is the Only Self by Elisa Gabbert Spilt Milk by Courtney Zoffness The Leaving Season by Kelly McMasters “The Seam of the Snail” essay by Cynthia Ozick    NICOLE GRAEV LIPSON is the author of the memoir-in-essays Mothers and Other Fictional Characters (Chronicle Books, March 2025). Her writing has been awarded a Pushcart Prize, selected for The Best American Essays anthology, and nominated for a National Magazine Award. Her work has appeared publications such as The Sun, Virginia Quarterly Review, The Gettysburg Review, LA Review of Books, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, and more. Born and raised in New York City, she lives outside of Boston with her husband and children.  Connect with Nicole: Website: www.nicolegraevlipson.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nglipson X: http://x.com/@NicoleGLipson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nicole.g.lipson   – Ronit’s writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, Poets & Writers, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories.  She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and teaches memoir through the University of Washington's Online Continuum Program and also independently. She launched Let's Talk Memoir in 2022, lives in Seattle with her family of people and dogs, and is at work on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com Subscribe to Ronit’s Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank https://bsky.app/profile/ronitplank.bsky.social   Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

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