Love Life With Matthew Hussey

Have you ever had something happen in your love life that affected you far more than you thought it should?

Maybe someone pulled away. You got rejected. Or a relationship ended. And instead of simply feeling disappointed or hurt, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You replayed what happened, obsessed over what you could have done differently, and felt desperate to get back the person or connection you lost.

At what point does normal disappointment become something deeper?

In this episode, I sit down with Gabby Bernstein to talk about what’s really happening when someone pulling away, rejecting us, or becoming unavailable triggers a reaction that feels completely out of proportion to the relationship itself.

We talk about anxious attachment, obsessive thoughts and rumination, the difference between wanting love and needing a relationship to feel safe, and why certain people can become so difficult to let go of. We also explore how these patterns can influence who we’re attracted to in the first place.

Gabby shares a practical four-step exercise you can use when you feel emotionally hijacked, so that instead of immediately reaching for the other person, you can begin to understand what the reaction is actually asking for.

Because sometimes the person you’re desperately trying to get back isn’t the thing you need most in that moment.

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You’ve been ghosted. They’re gone. But somehow, the conversation with them is still happening in your head.

You reread the messages. You wonder what you did wrong. You search for the clue that will finally explain why they disappeared.

The problem is, our need for closure can become a desperate attempt to regain control in a situation where we have none. And every time we go looking for an answer, we risk reopening the wound.

In this episode, I’ll show you how to stop that cycle and create the closure you didn’t get from them, including a specific text you can send—not to get them back or force a response, but to help yourself finally move forward.

Because sometimes closure isn’t an answer someone else gives you. It’s deciding you no longer need their answer to move on.

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►► Ready to Stop Giving Other People So Much Power Over How You Feel? Join Me at the Matthew Hussey Retreat (Oct 24-25): MHRetreat.com
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What do people who are naturally good at flirting do differently?

It’s easy to assume they’re more confident, more attractive, or simply better at knowing what to say. But after nearly 20 years of studying attraction and watching hundreds of first dates, I’ve noticed something else going on.

In this week’s episode, I break down three great flirting scenes from movies that look completely different on the surface but all have one surprising thing in common.

And it’s something most flirting advice completely misses.

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What if the reason your heartbreak isn’t getting better isn’t because you haven’t tried hard enough to move on, but because there’s a part of it you still haven’t allowed yourself to feel?

I recently sat down with David Kessler, one of the world’s leading experts on grief, and something he said stopped me in my tracks: “You don’t have a broken mind. You have a broken heart.”

We spend so much time trying to think our way out of heartbreak. We compare our pain to other people’s. We distract ourselves. We turn sadness into anger. We tell ourselves we should be over it by now. But underneath all of that may be grief we’ve never really attended to.

And I know that because, during this conversation, David helped me recognize some of my own.

In this episode, we talk about why heartbreak is a form of grief, what anger may actually be protecting us from, and why avoiding painful emotions can sometimes keep us stuck in them for much longer.

Most importantly, we talk about what it looks like to actually show up for yourself in those moments with more compassion and a kinder internal voice.

You may not be able to change what broke your heart. But you can change how you meet yourself in the pain that follows.

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►► Want to Feel More in Control of How You Respond to Difficult Emotions? Join Me for The CALM Process, LIVE Online September 29–October 1: 3DayCalm.com
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Have you ever noticed that the moment someone starts pulling away, you suddenly want them more?

Maybe they’re taking longer to reply. Their texts are getting shorter. Or they haven’t made plans to see you again. Nothing has actually happened, but you can feel that something has changed.

And suddenly, someone you were still figuring out becomes the person you can’t stop thinking about.

Before you know it, the question has changed from “Do I actually want this person?” to “How do I get them to want me again?”

Why does that shift happen? And why can not knowing where you stand feel even more painful than being rejected?

In this week’s video, I break down what’s really happening in these moments, and I sit down with Gabby Bernstein to talk about why distance can trigger such an intense reaction in us, and how to stop it from taking over.

Because sometimes, the person pulling away isn’t the real reason it hurts this much.

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