Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her w...
#181: The Demonisation of Avoidant Attachment (& Why It Has to Stop)
In today’s episode, I’m diving into a topic that’s both close to my heart and foundational to how I approach this work: the widespread demonisation of avoidant attachment — and why we need to stop doing it.It’s all too common, especially in online spaces, for people (often those with anxious attachment) to project blame, anger, and sweeping judgments onto those with avoidant attachment styles. But while that instinct may feel validating in the short term, it actually keeps us stuck.This episode is a call for compassion and nuance — not just for others, but for ourselves.Whether you’ve been hurt by someone with avoidant tendencies in the past or are currently struggling with anxious-avoidant dynamics, this conversation will invite you to take a broader, more honest look at the patterns playing out in your relationships and what healing really requires.In this episode, I cover:Why avoidant attachment is so often misunderstood and unfairly vilifiedHow our instinct to blame keeps us stuck in insecure patternsThe deeper origins of avoidant attachment — and how understanding this helps build compassionWhy anger, blame, and black-and-white thinking won’t help you healThe role of boundaries, discernment, and self-responsibility in moving forwardIf you're committed to growing into a more secure, grounded version of yourself, this episode is an invitation to pause and reflect on the narratives you’re holding — about others, and about yourself.Highlighted Resources Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only! Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Additional Resources Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Visit my website
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#180: 5 Hard Truths About Healing Anxious Attachment
Healing anxious attachment is a life-changing journey — but it’s not always easy. While moving toward secure attachment can bring more ease, confidence, and healthier relationships, it also requires confronting some uncomfortable truths along the way. In this episode, we’re unpacking five hard truths about healing that will help you set realistic expectations and stay committed to your growth.What We Cover in This Episode:Why healing isn’t always comfortable — and why grief is often part of the processThe myth of waking up one day as "fully secure" and what real progress looks likeHow healing might disrupt your relationships (and why not everyone will like the changes you make)Why you won’t stop getting triggered — but how you can gain more control over your reactionsThe surprising truth: sometimes you’ll miss your old patterns, even the unhealthy onesHealing doesn’t mean never struggling again. It means showing up differently, practicing new choices, and being compassionate with yourself along the way. If you're in the thick of it, know that you're not alone, and every step forward matters.Highlighted Resources Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only! Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Additional Resources Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Visit my website
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#179: Why You Struggle With Self-Trust
Self-trust is something we all want, but many of us struggle to build it. If you find yourself second-guessing your decisions, over-preparing for worst-case scenarios, or feeling like you can't rely on yourself, you're not alone. In this episode, we’re unpacking why self-trust is so challenging, especially for those with anxious attachment, and how to shift your focus to build a strong foundation of inner security.What We Cover in This Episode:Why anxiety craves control — and how this undermines self-trustThe inverse relationship between trust and controlHow trying to prevent bad things from happening leads to self-blameA powerful reframe: self-trust isn’t about making the "right" decision, but making decisions in alignment with your valuesThe biggest ways we unknowingly damage self-trustWhy building self-trust is essential for healing anxious attachmentSelf-trust isn’t about getting everything right or ensuring a perfect outcome, but about showing up with integrity and knowing you have your own back. 💌 Join the VIP List for Healing Anxious Attachment's Birthday Sale 💌Highlighted Resources Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only! Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Additional Resources Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Visit my website
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#178: When Your Partner Isn't Meeting Your Needs
It’s painful when you feel like your needs in a relationship aren’t being met. Whether it’s emotional intimacy, quality time, affection, or communication, this can lead to frustration, loneliness, and resentment — especially if you’ve voiced your needs and still don’t see change.In this episode, we’re exploring:Why anxiously attached people so often get stuck around needsWhat to focus on if you feel stuck in a cycle of unmet needsHow to know when it’s a compatibility issue vs. a communication issueIf you’ve ever wondered whether your needs are “too much” or felt torn between self-advocacy and keeping the peace, this episode will give you clarity on how to navigate these conversations with confidence and self-respect.Healing Anxious Attachment's 3rd Birthday Sale! Join the VIP list here.Highlighted Resources Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only! Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Additional Resources Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Visit my website
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#177: How Social Media Exacerbates Anxious Attachment
Social media can be a minefield at the best of times, but if you have an anxious attachment style, it can amplify relationship anxiety in ways that feel overwhelming. From overanalysing who your partner follows to spiralling over why they haven’t posted about you, social media can fuel insecurity, comparison, and even compulsive checking behaviours.In today’s episode, we’re exploring why social media is such a common trigger for people with anxious attachment, the unhealthy patterns it can create, and most importantly, how to navigate it in a way that supports your wellbeing and relationship security.What We Cover in This Episode:Why social media fuels anxiety for anxiously attached peopleThe biggest relationship triggers—who your partner follows, why they won't post about you, and moreThe comparison trap and how it distorts realityUnhealthy social media behaviours that reinforce insecurityPractical strategies to reduce social media anxiety and feel more secureLink to Episode #165: Why Validation is So Important for Anxiously Attached PeopleHighlighted Resources Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only! Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Additional Resources Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Visit my website
Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.
Ireland