Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘I hate my children too. Like, how could three kids of mine turn out to be such dicks?’
So it’s, like, Paddy’s Day and me and the goys have arranged to go for our usual walk on Killiney Hill with the kids. They’re already waiting for us in the cor pork – we’re talking JP with little Isa, we’re talking Fionn with Hillary, we’re talking Christian with Ross Junior and Oliver and we’re talking Oisinn with little Paavo. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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6:27
Most schools fear Hennessy Coghlan-O’Hara like they would a typhoid outbreak
Honor says she’s not worried. She says she couldn’t give two focks. But Sorcha’s like, “Well, you’d better give two focks. This is a serious matter. A head girl has never been expelled, Honor – not in the 170-year history of this school.” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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7:01
I’m there to Honor, ‘You’ve never been good at school. I always thought you took after me’
“The fock is this?” I go. Yeah, no, I’m doing the morning school run, crawling up Trees Road in a procession of all-terrain vehicles, like an invading ormy, when Honor hands me a piece of paper. She goes, “It’s, like, my results – from, like, my mocks? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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6:11
‘I haven’t come here today to listen to you badmouth my mother – the axe-faced old trout'
Conor Hession sits on the terrace, nursing a vodka lorge enough to put a grizzly bear to sleep. He’s like, “She was quite the most conniving, the most calculating, the most manipulative person I’ve ever met. And completely devoid of human feeling, of course.” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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6:25
‘My old dear said you had a kid together. Well, I’m its half-brother. Or half-sister if it’s a girl’
Sorcha rings me and there’s an air of, like, panic in her voice? She goes, “Ross, where are you?” Yeah, no, we’re in Portugal for midterm – along with the rest of south Dublin – and I’m on the road from Quinta do Lago to Vilamoura. Although I don’t tell her that. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ireland