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‘Drop the Carmela Soprano act, Rosser,’ Ronan goes when I ask him if Sorcha’s ring was stolen
16/10/2026 | 6 mins.Ronan is smoking one of his famous rollies in the doorway of the Museum of the Irish Gangster when he sees me coming. “Rosser!” he goes. “The fook are you doing on Capel Street dressed like that? Did you take a wrong turden cubbing ourra Chapter One again?” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.Sorcha’s old dear singing sounds like a fox with its head trapped in a gate
09/10/2026 | 6 mins.It’s every parent’s worst nightmare. Sorcha goes, “You’re being ridiculous, Ross.” I’m there, “Oh, I’m being ridiculous, am I? My son gives up rugby to play the port of Sam Cormichael in Mamma Mia! and I’m the one being ridiculous!” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.‘So Westlife, huh? We’re all big fans in our gaff, aren’t we, Honor?’
02/10/2026 | 6 mins.I’m like, “Westlife?” And I say it like that as well. I’m there, “Why are you going to see Westlife? You always said–” Honor goes, “No, I didn’t. I actually like Westlife?” and she’s telling me to – yeah, no – shut the fock up with her eyes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.‘We’ve been trying to break them up, haven’t we? A year or two in the clink – he won’t wait for her’
25/09/2026 | 6 mins.The old man tells Hennessy that he has every faith in him. Hennessy’s like, “Wait a minute, what?” Yeah, no, we’re sitting in the District Court in Bray, waiting for Bernie’s case to be called. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.Four Feds step into the kitchen. One of them is like, ‘Well, Bernie?’
19/09/2026 | 6 mins.“So, anyway, I tee’d off,” the old man goes, loving the sound of his own voice, “and of course I managed to slice the bloody-well ball and, well, naturally enough, it ended up in the lake!” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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About Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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