Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

‘Ross,’ Sorcha goes, ‘we’re not going to Dubai. We cancelled because of the war.’ I’m there, ‘What war?’ and I genuinely mean it

‘We’re losing, like, 32-0. The Blackrock first years are taking us aport’

‘I’m so full of myself this morning that I’m actually making myself sick’

‘There you go with the school rivalry thing again. You need to move on’

‘The woman is as C as M – as my old dear used to say. Common as muck’