Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

‘There you go with the school rivalry thing again. You need to move on’

‘The woman is as C as M – as my old dear used to say. Common as muck’

‘How embarrassing is it for me to have three kids who are absolutely focking useless at rugby?’

The words every south Dublin rugby parent dreads: ‘Dad, I want to join the drama society’

‘I’ve never said a word about Bray that wasn’t 100% warranted’