It can be so hard to even think about how to let our T1D kids have more independence, but I really believe that it’s hardest for those of us who had kids diagnosed when they were really young. For that special category of T1D parent, we’ve been so closely knit into the diabetes management, so part of every T1D decision, that it’s harder for us to step back and let our kids fly.On today’s show, I talk to one of those moms. Her daughter, now 14, was diagnosed in kindergarten — and mom is struggling with the normal independence that her daughter wants to have. She talks about how diabetes reset (and raised) the level of her day-to-day anxiety, leaving her worrying about every number and every possibility. It’s a hard habit to break, especially as her daughter wants to walk out the door to the school dance carrying a teeny purse with no room for low supplies.So she and I brainstorm: We think through ways she can talk to her daughter about bringing those supplies without creating a fight. And we also talk about the ways that mom can to release the iron grip of her anxiety. As I always say, it doesn’t mean she should unclip her diabetes seatbelt — her daughter does need to have low supplies at the dance — and mom has some work to do to let some mistakes happen. After all, if our kids are out of range because they mis-dosed for a boba, it’s not the end of the world: In fact, it becomes a moment to have a conversation about how to this about it differently next time. Together, we think about the ways that our kids learn diabetes management (spoiler alert: step by small painful step) and how we can support that process. And we look at the importance of having faith in who our children will become, both as people, and as people with diabetes. Even if your child was diagnosed when they were older, so much of this is familiar to all of us with T1D kids: the anxiety and the letting go.Hope you enjoy the show!
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When you can’t stop being anxious about diabetes
When our kids are first diagnosed with T1D, our anxiety spikes. Normal for all of us — how could it not? But what happens when it stays so high that we can never get a break from it, when we’re feeling anxious all the time and aren’t able to step away from diabetes?That’s what I’m talking about on today’s podcast episode. Natalie, mom of four year old Amara who was diagnosed at eight months, came on the show to share the ways she’s having trouble turning down the volume on her own anxiety about diabetes. Even though this makes so much sense — her daughter was diagnosed at 8 months! and she’s still so young! — we look at the toll it’s taking on Natalie. The irony is that Natalie theoretically knows what she should be doing to help herself feel better— before she had Amara she was a meditation teacher. But now she’s having trouble leaving Amara with anyone else to make time for self care. Even though we spend a little time problem solving this — and noting the ways that Natalie has recently taken new steps to get some support — I challenge Natalie a lot in this episode. I emphasize all of the reasons that it’s essential for her to take better care of herself, not least of all because she wants to model a good relationship to diabetes for her daughter.Listen in to hear about other ways we T1D parents can think about shifting our narrative about diabetes so we can recharge ourselves.Hope you enjoy the show. Natalie's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/NatalieCalzadilla
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When Mom becomes a T1D activist
What is the anecdote to the terror we feel when our kids are diagnosed with diabetes? Today’s podcast guest, Brooke, has one compelling answer: Activism When Brooke’s six-year old daughter was diagnosed, she was in the ICU and had a 24-hour period when it was touch-and-go if she would live. Today, three years later, Brooke feels like the doctors should have seen some of the signs earlier. But her solution isn’t to complain and get angry; her answer is to get out and spread the word, being sure that everyone around her knows what the symptoms are of T1D, as a way to help prevent this same kind of trauma from happening to others in her community.While Brooke talks about how sharing her story helps her to heal the fear that she felt three years ago, we also look at the ways she’s still living in that fear, how it comes up with her two other children and her worries about them having T1D, how it shows up in her extreme expertise about diabetes. Through the conversation, we discuss ways that Brooke can go beyond activism to turn the volume down on her fears, and work through the trauma of her daughter’s diagnosis, from getting her other kids tested for antibodies regularly to the potential for therapy for herself. In listening, I think we all recognize pieces of our own diagnosis story and the ways we learned to cope with the new challenge of diabetes as it entered our lives. Hope you enjoy the show!
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When your T1D teen stakes their turf
Teens and T1D! I remember that before my son hit his teens, I swore that our lives wouldn't be as hard as what I was hearing from parents in the trenches. I was so sure that we were going to do better than all those other parents. And now I can humbly say that there is no easy path forward with teen kids: There are so many challenges as our kids grow up and transition to being independent with diabetes management.On today's podcast episode, we get one flavor of what it’s like when you’re in the teen trenches. Rob comes onto the show to think through what to do about ongoing conflict he and his wife are having with their almost-17-year-old T1D daughter. All the conflict centers on a new pump that they changed to a few months ago. The settings they are using for the new pump aren’t working — but their daughter is digging in her heels, insisting that she’s going to continue to do it her way. And her way means lots of LOW lows, massive number of juice boxes (Rob is buying them in bulk at Costco) and many-too-many sleepless nights for mom and dad. Basically, this teen has staked her turf, insisting that she be independent around the settings on this pump, even as it’s causing frustration and danger. There was some good news, though: Rob noted that at their last endo appointment, he heard his daughter repeating back to the doctor all the things that he had articulated to her about the reasons the pump didn’t work. She clearly just can’t talk to him about it yet, but she is integrating it. Bottom line is that sometimes with our teens, we have to lean into the village. One suggestion? Have more endo appointments. Let the endo direct this conversation with his daughter. After all, if our kids won’t listen to us, it’s important to find a proxy who we trust — and who they are wiling to listen to. We also looked at the way that this diabetes management issue is hijacking the relationship Rob and his wife have with their daughter. At this point, any time they try to talk to her about it, they end up in an explosive argument. I made a few key suggestions of how he can approach her so they can find a way to discuss it without a fight. Hope you come away with some additional tools to apply to the hard moments you have with your T1D kiddo, either now or when they finally it those rocky teen years.Enjoy the show!
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Is it the wiggles or a high blood sugar?
One dilemma I’ve heard from parents again and again: If my T1D kid is acting out because of a high blood sugar, how do I parent that? Do I give my kid a pass because I know that their high affects their mood? Or do I parent the behavior as though diabetes isn’t operating in the background? In this week's episode, Julie comes on the show to talk about how this issue is playing out for her 6 year old son, Ethan, when he’s at school. It sounds like Ethan has an amazing teacher: She’s paying attention to his diabetes and wondering if his high blood sugar might correlate to some disrespectful behaviors that she’s seen. The problem is that Julie and her husband haven’t seen that same correlation at home: Although they know that their son is very wiggly, has a lot of energy, and likely has a hard time sitting still — especially in the afternoons at school — they haven’t seen disrespectfulness when his blood sugar is out of range. At the same time, when he’s high — or has a big case of the wiggles — Julie will take him for a run to help him get his energy out or bring his blood sugar down, something teachers can’t do for him at school. Whether diabetes is driving Ethan’s behavior or not, we came to the conclusion that the teachers might be overly focused on Ethan’s diabetes, giving a reason for his not-so-stellar behavior when it would be better to just treat it as a behavioral issue.Truth be told, we really never can know how our kid’s blood sugars are affecting them. But in my experience working with T1D adults, I found that they often felt frustrated with their parents for attributing their behavior to highs when they were kids. And the reality is that we all need to strive to be our best selves, even under less than ideal circumstances. So in the show, we talk about different ways we can help our kids show up as their best, whether it’s the high blood sugar getting in their way, or just the wiggles.Hope you enjoy the show!
About Sweet Talk for Parents of Kids with Type One Diabetes
The answers you’ve been waiting for! We all know that raising a type 1 child is filled with stresses and uncertainties that go beyond regular parenting. In this podcast, host JoAnne Robb, a psychotherapist, diabetes coach and T1D mom herself, brings her expert knowledge and experience to give you practical and sane answers to the questions you have about the emotional side of living with a T1D child. She will tackle your real-life questions so you can get the help you deserve to manage the challenges of growing up diabetes.
Listen to Sweet Talk for Parents of Kids with Type One Diabetes, Begin Again with Davina McCall and many other podcasts from around the world with the radio.net app
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