Sweet Valley Hive

This week, we learn an eerily timely lesson in the dangers of what happens when we outsource empathy by having someone—or something—handle our communications for us. 
When Jess and Liz open an anonymous letter-writing service, they think it will be an easy way to make a quick buck. But they forget one important thing: as the eponymous Maria of the song “Take a Letter, Maria” knows all too well: proxies are never neutral—they are ALWAYS ALREADY invested in the interactions they purport to simply mediate!
The letters lead to an escalating series of misunderstandings, miscommunications, and machinations, culminating in a scene of staggering dramatic irony that leaves Liz—and us—wondering: was the juice (a new warm-up jacket) worth the squeeze? Join us for “Small Language Models” (Sweet Valley High 88, Love Letters for Sale).

This week, Todd is minding his business, shooting basketball….s, when a shadowy figure from his past returns and threatens everything Todd holds dear. Kevin (whom we DON’T need to talk about) charms Todd’s family and friends and frames him for a string of muggings, leaving Todd feeling gaslit and us wondering “Was this earned?” 
Meanwhile, we ponder how many good summers we have left, stumble upon an accidental celebrity encounter, and fantasize about Mrs. Wilkins’ fettuccine Alfredo, in “A Boy Stealer is a Boy Stealer” (Sweet Valley High Super Star 5, Todd’s Story).

This week, Liz resists fascist censorship to force a necessary discussion of sexual harassment at Sweet Valley High. The surprisingly rich text touches both our hosts, drawing tears and stories of our own high school free speech crusades. 
Join us for a discussion of plain-looking girls (they’re smarter than you think), zines (they’re like renegade newspapers!), and the power of feminine rage, in “We Need a Hotline!” (Sweet Valley High #87, My Best Friend’s Boyfriend).

This week, it’s a battle of the sexes in Sweet Valley when resident rich jerk Bruce—in a transparent bid for more screen time—creates a mysterious, exclusive, boys-only club that is wreaking havoc on the school with their pranks. Naturally Jessica challenges Bruce and his patent Title IX violation, starting a dangerous dare-war and a (devastatingly timely) conversation about sexual politics at Sweet Valley High.
Will Jessica smash the glass ceiling and prove a point about equality? Or will Bruce’s final prank smash Jessica flat on the train tracks??? 
Join us for a discussion of the incoherence of gender categories, the semiotics of menthols, and whether we’d rather be happy or right, in “Can Anything a Boy Can Do, Can a Girl Be Doing It?” (Sweet Valley High 86, Jessica Against Bruce).

This week, we have a departure from form as we attempt to recreate an episode we already recorded that was accidentally deleted by our very very very handsome main character figure.
Meanwhile, Jess and Liz have scored coveted roles on a soap opera! While Jess gets caught up in the Hollywood life and an inappropriately aged suitor, Liz is inspired to conduct an ethnography of television production (boring!) 
Join us for a discussion of meaty plots, blood sacrifice, and the inherent nobility of below-the-line workers, in “3-2-1 Zoop” (Sweet Valley High #85, Soap Star).