The Modern Man Podcast

I wasted 15 years of my sex life. Alex Grendi, former professional soccer player turned certified men's sex coach, joins Ted Phaeton on The Modern Man Podcast to talk about the silent battle 20 to 30 percent of men face — performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, ED — and the 4-step method he uses to fix it.
 
Alex spent 15 years battling this himself while competing at the elite athletic level, hiding it behind marijuana and locker-room bravado. This is the conversation that unpacks how sexual confidence directly shapes how a man shows up in business, leadership, and marriage — and the exact steps to reclaim it. Alex walks through the Superior Lovers 4-step method: nervous-system regulation (why porn/masturbation-free weeks reveal your real stress load), non-genital pleasure and sound expression (the shame most men carry), edging as exposure therapy for arousal, and separating orgasm from ejaculation. Plus: why Kegels are an emergency brake and not a solution, why sobriety was Alex's real turning point, and Ted's rule — you can't heal what you don't reveal.
 
Chapters:
00:00 15 Years Wasted
01:44 Welcome, Brother — Ted's Intro
02:22 "Sex Felt Like Something I Had to Get Through"
03:39 How Every Man Ends Up in the Loop
05:59 Elite Athlete on the Outside, Suffering on the Inside
08:16 The Whiskey Dick Problem (And What Research Actually Says)
09:28 The Turning Point — Sobriety & Self-Discovery
10:36 Sexual Health IS Health
13:52 What Semen Retention Actually Is (It's NOT NoFap)
16:30 How to Move Your Sexual Energy
19:00 Ted on Breaking His Own Porn Habit
21:17 The Layers Underneath "Boredom"
22:46 What "Superior Lover" Actually Means
24:25 Why the "Quick Tip" Won't Fix It
26:56 STEP 1 — Stress Regulation & Nervous System Awareness
28:57 Ted's Ice Bath Aha Moment (120 BPM → 68 BPM)
30:03 The Ice Bath Erection Challenge 😂
31:01 STEP 2 — Non-Genital Touch & Sound Expression
33:52 The *When Harry Met Sally* Reversal
37:19 STEP 3 — Edging & the Stop-Start Method
41:28 The Kegel Myth-Buster (Emergency Brake, Not a Solution)
43:33 STEP 4 — Separating Orgasm from Ejaculation
45:35 The Taboo That Keeps Men Stuck
47:28 30–50% of Men Have Experienced This
48:50 "You Can't Heal What You Don't Reveal"
49:18 The Ejaculation Replacement Technique
50:39 Where to Find Alex
51:56 What Changed How Alex Sees the World (Sobriety)
53:21 Ted's Final Takeaways & Closing Thoughts
 
🤝 Connect with Alex Grendi: 
 Website: alexgrendi.com 
YouTube Channels: 
Alex Grendi
Alex Grendi Coaching
Instagram:  @alex.grendi



Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: If you need emotional support, reach out to the national mental health hotline: Call, Text, or Chat 988 
 
👉🏿  About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.
 
Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
 
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
 
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Ex-Special Forces commando Tim Thomas on why elite soldiers break — and the 10 minutes a day that fix every exhausted man. From down under, Tim joins Ted Phaeton on The Modern Man Podcast to unpack the Performance Pyramid, the Two Golden 5-Minute Windows, and the warfare tactic he learned in Afghanistan that maps directly to how modern men are burning themselves out.
 
Tim served with Australian Special Forces in Afghanistan, competed as a pro MMA fighter, survived PTSD, and has spent the last decade in the veteran recovery space. He's the founder of Breathwork in Bed (an app, a method, and a movement), author of Fight, Flight, Feel, and has raised over $1M for veteran mental health research. His message is simple — most men are trying to fix their life while exhausted. Fix the sleep first, everything else follows.
 
In this conversation: the Performance Pyramid (outcomes → actions → rest/recovery/healing art forms — and why most men build only the top two), the bow-and-arrow reframe for rest days ("bow days"), self-worth as our real center of gravity, how pain transforms into loneliness and isolation and what breaks it, the "energetic millionaire" metaphor, Tim's own path through the crushing weight of defeat, and the tactical spine — the 5 minutes before sleep + 5 minutes upon waking that determine the shape of your entire day. Plus: why breath outranks thinking, why the presence of oxygen is the absence of disease, and Tim's invitation to Ted (and to you) — the Breathwork in Bed 28-day challenge.
 
Chapters:
00:00 Elite soldiers break — not from lack of strength, from lack of recovery
01:42 Welcome brother — Ted's intro
02:12 The performance question no training manual prepares you for 02:55 The 20s vs. the rest of your life 
03:15 The Performance Pyramid (outcomes → actions → rest) 
05:22 Warfare tactic — attack the enemy's sleep, better than a bullet 05:53 Our center of gravity is self-worth 
08:16 Ted on peace in the home 
10:36 The bow-and-arrow reframe — bow days over rest days 
14:02 Solitude vs. isolation 
16:38 The danger age for men — 38 to 42 
17:20 Tim's veteran suicide-prevention work — 40 lives in one year 
21:23 The Noble Knights + the isolation break 
23:14 The question that changes everything — how many other people? 26:04 The firefighter story — the problem wasn't my own 
27:33 The Energetic Millionaire metaphor 
30:37 The research on sleep + testosterone + performance 
32:51 Speaking to the stubborn version of yourself 
35:31 The pyramid vs. pyramid — the competitor's edge 
38:24 THE TWO GOLDEN 5-MINUTE WINDOWS 
40:41 Breath outranks thinking
42:30 What the breath work actually looks like 
45:22 Sleep is the soil from which everything grows
46:27 The Breathwork in Bed 28-day challenge 
49:13 The crushing weight of defeat — Tim's vision 
51:25 Ted's recap
 
Connect with Tim Thomas: Breathwork in Bed app: Search "Breathwork in Bed" in your app store — 28-day free trial Book: Fight, Flight, Feel Web: breathworkinbed.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathworkinbed
👉 About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.
 
Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
 
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
 
⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️
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🤝CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🤝
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Ted's testosterone was almost 200 — 198 to be exact — and he looked healthy on the outside. Muscle, working out, doing the podcast. On the inside his hormone floor was gone. Then he did the work Mark Holman coaches men through, and now he's at 800. No TRT. All natural.
 
Mark Holman is a mental/physical health and testosterone optimization coach. Creator of the Unchained program (formerly Revival) and the 5-Day High-T Leadership Challenge. He was on the Modern Man Podcast before — this is Round 2. He's since moved his own total T to 1,100, doubled his free testosterone, broke his own income barrier, and met the woman he's now marrying.
 
In this conversation, Mark and Ted go deep on why "normal" testosterone is a lie (74% of Americans are overweight — that's the population setting the normal range), Mark's named diagnostic concept — the Health Handbrakes — that a standard blood panel won't reveal, why TRT is like winning the lottery (no process, no struggle, and you're on it for life), the free-T-vs-SHBG conversation most doctors skip, the sniper-vs-shotgun reframe for supplements (and the Tongkat Ali standardization rule most brands hide), and the leadership-testosterone connection — why lower T makes you more risk-averse and quietly shrinks your ambition.
 
Plus: Ted's own before/after receipts (198 → 800 natural), the University of Chicago sleep study that showed a 5-hour night drops testosterone 10-15% in one week, the 2007 JCEM data showing modern men's T is generationally lower than their fathers' generation at the same age, and Mark's closer on the nice-guy generational curse he inherited from his father and broke.
 
If you're a high-performing man between 25 and 55 with a "normal" blood panel and a feeling something's off — this one's for you.
 
Key insights from this episode:
 
Testosterone as an on-demand hormone (not a fixed number)

Why "normal T ranges" are a lie (74% of Americans set that baseline)

The Health Handbrakes: the root causes of low T that a standard panel misses

The Unchained standard: 700 total testosterone is the floor, not the ceiling

Free T + SHBG: why total T alone lies to you

TRT is like winning the lottery: no process, no struggle, and you're on it for life

Sniper vs. Shotgun supplementation (and the Tongkat Ali 2% eurycomanone rule)

The testosterone-leadership connection: why low T makes you risk-averse

Ted's before/after receipts: 198 to 800 natural in 18 months

Mark's N=1 story: 1,100 total T, doubled free T, wife met, business broke through

 
Chapters:
00:00 The confession — my T was 198
02:04 What's Changed About Testosterone?
04:25 Can You Naturally Increase Testosterone?
05:47 Why "Normal" Blood Work Isn't Enough
08:36 The Testosterone Range Doctors Miss
10:00 Ted's Testosterone: 198 → 800 Naturally
11:57 What to Do If Your Doctor Says You're "Normal"
14:20 Can You Come Off TRT?
15:42 TRT vs. Fixing the Root Cause
17:58 Stress, Sleep & Free Testosterone
20:15 When Is TRT Actually Necessary?
23:04 Why Men's Testosterone Keeps Declining
25:42 The Truth About Testosterone Supplements
29:43 Zinc, Vitamin D & Deficiencies Explained
30:36 Why Most T Boosters Don't Work
33:22 The Hidden Cost of Low Testosterone
36:42 Testosterone, Leadership & Confidence
39:22 Does Sunlight on Your Balls Work?
40:23 Mark's Results: 1,100 Testosterone
45:14 Health, Wealth & Love
45:47 Free Blood Work Analysis
46:47 The Lesson That Changed Mark's Life
49:09 Ted's Biggest Takeaways
Connect with Mark Holman:
Instagram: @markholmanhealth/
Free Master Class: testosteronemasterclass
Linktree: Markholmanhealth
 
👉 About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.
 
Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
 
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
 
⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️
https://themodernmanpodcast.com/thenobleknights 
 
🤝CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🤝
Visit our website: themodernmanshow.com
Follow us on Twitter: TheModernMan8 
Follow us on Instagram: @TheModernManShow 
Subscribe to our YouTube channel: The Modern Man

He was terminated twice. He filed for divorce. He gained 60 pounds and drank on the highs AND the lows. Then May 5, 2018, he walked out of an AA meeting and hasn't touched alcohol since.
 
Nick Jonsson is a licensed specialized counselor, best-selling author of Executive Loneliness (the book coined a term that now has its own dedicated Wikipedia page), leads one of Asia's largest networks of senior executives, is a TEDx speaker on sleep, and an Ironman triathlete who splits time between Sweden and Asia. He's also the father of a 17-year-old son and a working husband.
 
In this conversation, Nick and Ted go deep on the drift that destroys high-performing men — the anxious-overachiever wound that made them successful in the first place, the 68% of executives who have nobody to confide in (per Harvard Business Review), the corporate stigma that keeps men silent even when they know better, the KLM Tenerife disaster that shows what fear of speaking up actually costs, and Nick's 5-Step framework from Executive Loneliness for the man ready to come back.
 
Plus the through-line Nick applies to triathlon, executive coaching, marriage, sleep, and time — the "principles that work in this work in all areas of life" reframe that turned a mediocre triathlete into an Ironman PR-setter and a man 60 pounds lighter with 30 years of marriage ahead of him.
 
If you're a high-performing man between 25 and 55 with more contacts than you have people to actually call — this one's for you.
 
Key insights from this episode:
The anxious-overachiever wound that made you successful (and why healing it doesn't kill your edge)

Why 68% of senior executives have nobody to confide in — and why 84% won't even tell HR

Multiple purposes, not one — the "keep steady in the middle" reframe from 12-step recovery

The KLM Tenerife disaster — what fear of speaking up actually costs

Nick's 5-Step framework from Executive Loneliness

Take Stock. Who Can You Talk To. Get Healthy. (Plus what comes next.)

Sober since May 5, 2018 — the exposure sequence that changed everything

Sleep half an hour more, break your Ironman PR (Nick's TEDx origin)

Removing the TV from the bedroom — and other things Nick surrendered

Own your shit — Nick's final answer, the biggest transformation of his life

 
Chapters:
00:00 The confession — terminated twice, 60 pounds, drinking on emotions 
01:00 Welcome brother — Ted's intro 
01:26 What keeps high-performing men isolated? 
02:06 The anxious-overachiever wound 
03:04 The wound that made you successful (and the fear of healing it) 
05:44 Multiple purposes vs. one why 
07:20 Keep steady in the middle 
08:35 The Harvard 68% stat 
09:58 Nick's own survey (30% / 75% / 84%) 
11:00 If you break a leg you see a doctor. If you break your emotions, you hide. 
11:43 Therapy as maintenance, not crisis 
13:21 Stigma, the corporate ladder, and resilience 
15:22 Real-world consequences of vulnerability 
18:10 The KLM Tenerife disaster 
20:19 Chernobyl, night shift, and mistakes made from silence 
22:13 Step 1 — Take Stock 
23:31 Step 2 — Who Can You Talk To 
25:19 The May 5, 2018 exposure sequence (wife, doctor, friend) 
27:00 The tribe found — the urge lifted 
27:49 The primal fear of rejection 29:14 The three people you'd call at 2 a.m. 
30:30 Build safe spaces in the good times 
31:32 Being discerning with who you offload to 
32:56 The through-line — from recovery to triathlon 
34:23 Applying the same principles to everything 
35:00 Signing up for a triathlon tribe (coach, cycling club, swim academy, running club) 
36:14 The sleep experiment — 30 days of half an hour more 
37:00 The TEDx that came from sleeping more 
37:34 Ted on the sleep struggle 
39:48 Discipline, accountability, and "just keep going" 
41:19 The Ironman as a mini-life 
41:50 Ted on Hyrox 
44:06 How Nick manages time (paid to remove the bedroom TV) 
44:45 Say a lot of no. Hit many birds with one stone. 
45:30 Cycling with his 17-year-old son 
47:09 Where to find Nick and Executive Loneliness 
48:36 Own your shit — the biggest transformation 
49:53 Outro and Ted's recap



🤝 Connect with Nick Jonsson:
Website: www.nickjonsson.com
Facebook: @jonhannah.berryhill3
Instagram: @jonssonnick
LinkedIn:  @nick-jonsson
YouTube: @NickJonsson
Book: Executive Loneliness — Amazon (Kindle, paperback, Audible): 
https://www.amazon.com/Executive-Loneliness-Overcoming-Isolation-Depression-ebook/dp/B091B1Y3WZ
Wikipedia page: Executive Loneliness (dedicated page on the term Nick coined):  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_Loneliness
TEDx: "Nick Jonsson sleep on TEDx"



👉 About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.
Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
 
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
 
⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️
https://themodernmanpodcast.com/thenobleknights 
 
🤝CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🤝
Visit our website: themodernmanshow.com
Follow us on Twitter: TheModernMan8 
Follow us on Instagram: @TheModernManShow 
Subscribe to our YouTube channel: The Modern Man
 
#modernmanpodcast #nobleknights #executiveloneliness #nickjonsson #anxiousoverachiever #mensmentalhealth #sobriety #masculineleadership #ironmantriathlete #ownyourshit #highperformer #fatherhood

I was having affairs on my wife. We filed for divorce. I woke up one night and God was showing me what I was about to wreck.
 
Jonathan Berryhill left home at 15 with no foundation under him. He found structure in the Army infantry, adrenaline in law enforcement narcotics and undercover work, and then success across real estate, healthcare, and government contracting — multiple seven- and eight-figure businesses. He's been married 30 years to his high school sweetheart. He has seven children and three grandchildren. He's the author of Warrior to Wealth and leads three real estate brokerages with 50+ agents — having gone from first licensed at 43 to seven figures in commissions in five years.
 
But the story that defines him isn't any of those. It's the marriage he almost wrecked, the man he had to become, and the 5 Pillars he built every day after on — Identity, Discipline, Execution, Ownership, Legacy.
 
In this conversation, Jonathan and Ted go deep on the drift that destroys male veterans and operators, the question that exposes it (what are the top three things you want to be best at, and where's your time at?), the contrarian operator reframe Jonathan uses with his team (pick your hard — broke is hard, successful is hard, pick), the 5-Pillar playbook from the book, and the loss of his best friend at 45 that re-anchored everything.
 
If you're a man between 25 and 55 carrying a marriage, a business, a family — and you can feel the drift but can't name it — this one's for you.
 
Key insights from this episode: 
Why losing your military identity is a leading cause of post-service drift

The diagnostic question every drifting man needs to answer

Pick your hard: broke is hard, successful is hard, you don't get to skip both

The 5 Pillars: Identity, Discipline, Execution, Ownership, Legacy

"You cannot be a victim and a victor at the same time. Pick one."

Why visualization beat motivation for Jonathan's college football and real estate runs

The CrossFit-of-real-estate move: starting over at 43 (and what it built)

Why faith is uncomfortable (and that's the point)

The night his best friend died — and what changed in him

 
Chapters:
00:00 The 2 a.m. confession 
00:40 – Introduction: Meet Jonathan Barry Hill 
03:28 – Growing Up Without a Foundation
07:18 – The Army: Discipline, Structure & Purpose
11:40 – Law Enforcement and the Silent Drift
15:42 – Losing His Marriage & Finding God
20:35 – What Causes Men to Drift?
24:55 – The One Question Every Man Should Ask Himself
29:12 – Walking On to College Football at 25
35:18 – Becoming the Warrior Within
40:45 – From Premed to Entrepreneurship
46:20 – Building Multiple Successful Businesses
51:38 – Why Comfort Is the Enemy of Growth
57:04 – Starting Over at 43 in Real Estate
1:02:28 – Visualization & Identity-Based Success
1:07:44 – The Five Pillars of Warrior to Wealth
1:14:12 – Victim or Victor: Pick One
1:20:06 – Legacy: Building More Than Wealth
1:25:18 – Why the Last Man Standing Often Wins
1:30:05 – Seasons of Battle & Personal Loss
1:36:48 – Faith, Prayer & Living With Purpose
1:43:10 – The Wisdom of Proverbs
1:47:35 – Advice for Men Who Feel Stuck
1:53:22 – Everyone Is Fighting Something
1:56:10 – Final Lessons & Key Takeaways 
 
 Berryhill's Links:
Website: jonberryhill.com
Facebook:@jonhannah.berryhill3 
Instagram:  @jon.berryhill
LinkedIn:  jonathan-berryhill
Threads@jon.berryhill
Agent Blueprint Playbook: JonBerryhill: Agent Blueprint Playbook
 
👉 About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.  Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️
https://themodernmanpodcast.com/thenobleknights 
 
🤝CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🤝
Visit our website: themodernmanshow.com
Follow us on Twitter: TheModernMan8 
Follow us on Instagram: @TheModernManShow 
Subscribe to our YouTube channel: The Modern Man