The Modern Man Podcast

Joel Gandara fled Cuba on an overcrowded boat at age 4, grew up in poverty, and built and sold a multi-million-dollar men's apparel company — without ever having a master plan. He joins Ted Phaeton on The Modern Man Podcast to unpack the arc, the tactics, and the brotherhood he now runs for men who want more.
 
Joel is a Cuban refugee, a former apparel entrepreneur (he acquired 13 of 14 businesses that weren't publicly for sale — using handwritten notes as the opening move), and the founder of 31 Daily Challenges and The Brotherhood — an invitation-only community of 119 men across the country who meet the standard through his 31-day challenge process. His wife runs the equivalent for women.
 
In this conversation: the Garbage Pail Kids origin story (fourth-grade entrepreneur, out of necessity), why he never had a master plan and figured everything out along the way, the $160K cash-withdrawal moment that shifted his identity, why 100% of his risks got green-lit by his wife (and the exit-plan discipline that earned that trust), the organize-organize-organize principle that made his apparel company sale-ready without a scramble, the handwritten-note tactic that led to 13 acquisitions, the Brotherhood model (invitation-only, intentionally slow-growth, 2–5 new invites per class), why the lone wolf is losing more than he thinks, how to vet mentors ("how are they living, not what they show"), the anti-vanity discipline ($49 Timex, no mortgage, used truck bought cash — the more things you own, the more things break), and the line every married man should stitch on his wall: pick the damn place.
Chapters:
00:00 If It Was All You Knew
02:33 Growing Up in Poverty
04:50 The Garbage Pail Kids Hustle
07:21 Building a Multi-Million-Dollar Business
10:36 The $160K Identity Shift
12:57 The Midas-Touch Trap
13:22 Risk & Marriage
16:22 Organize Your Business
19:24 From Business to Brotherhood
22:40 Accountability & Brotherhood
27:31 The Lone Wolf
30:18 Choosing the Right Mentors
33:04 Success Without the Vanity
36:05 The 31-Day Challenge
39:05 The Handwritten Note
41:05 Face Your Fears
41:27 Be the Man
43:28 She's Not a Mind Reader
44:21 The Bigger Vision
46:53 Failure as a Gift
48:35 Ted's Recap
Community: The Brotherhood (invitation-only, after the 31-day challenge)
🤝 Connect with Joel Gandara: 
Web: 
               joelgandara.com
              31dailychallenges.com
YouTube: @JoelGandara
LinkedIn: joel_gandara
Facebook: joel_gandara.
Instagram: joelgandara
 
🤝 Connect with Jessica  Gandara.: 
Tiktok: @jessica.gandara3
X: @jessicagandara
YouTube: @jessicagandara24
 
👉🏿  About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.
 
Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
 
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
 
⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️
https://themodernmanpodcast.com/thenobleknights 
 
🫱🏿‍🫲🏾CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🫱🏿‍🫲🏾
Visit our website: themodernmanshow.com
Follow us on Twitter: TheModernMan8 
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessgandara/

Daryl Williams Jr. was called a "detriment to student safety" his first year teaching. Two years later he was Teacher of the Year. He did it twice. On The Modern Man Podcast, Daryl sits down with Ted Phaeton to break down the transformation, the ceiling moment that made him walk away from his dream job, and the 3 Drivers of New Teacher Retention that any leader (in any industry) can steal.
 
Daryl is an educator, speaker, author of 99% Human, 1% Amazing, and the founder of a teacher-retention consulting company he launched in 2021 after sitting in a principal's chair being told he couldn't earn more than $64K as a first-year assistant principal despite years of impact. His mission: guide a million students toward lives of choice, not circumstance.
 
In this conversation: the terrible-teacher-to-2x-Teacher-of-the-Year transition (and what actually changed on the inside), the 99% Human / 1% Amazing framework (the DNA thesis that reframes your superpower), non-cognitive skills as the real predictor of long-term success (backed by University of Chicago research), the difference between settling and being content, the runaway question every operator needs to ask themselves — are you running to something or running from something — the 3 Drivers of New Teacher Retention (relevant far beyond education), the parent-teacher engagement research that fathers especially need to hear, and Daryl's signature line — everything is figure-outable.
 
Chapters:
00:00 Detriment to student safety
01:28 Welcome brother — Ted's intro 
02:02 Terrible teacher (everybody said so) 
03:38 The transition — MVP over Rookie of the Year 
05:22 What authentic leadership actually is 
07:44 99% Human, 1% Amazing (the DNA thesis) 
10:14 Ikigai and the trap of working only on your weaknesses 
12:26 Who wrote the script? (Ted's reframe) 
14:17 Chart your own path — Thoreau's rule 
17:20 Non-cognitive skills as the real predictor of success 
20:06 Growth mindset — Carol Dweck research + Chicago data 
21:48 Settling vs. being content 
23:30 Ted's own apartment-in-Greenville revelation (28 years old)
25:34 Daryl's ceiling moment — the $64K conversation 
28:11 How to actually stop teacher turnover 
30:37 The salary question (and what it reveals) 
32:27 Change happens inside before outside 
32:48 THE 3 DRIVERS OF NEW TEACHER RETENTION 
33:57 Who needs to hear this most — teachers vs. leaders 
36:02 Leaving loud (Mick Unplugged's frame) 
37:17 Running to vs. running from 
39:48 Parents — the question nobody's asked 
42:49 The father-engagement research every dad should hear 
44:28 Master the subjects that matter (grit, resilience, tenacity) 
46:13 Ted on pledging a fraternity and "figure it out" 
47:31 Where to find Daryl 
48:58 The heaviest question — called for greater 
50:34 Ted's recap
 
🤝 Connect with Daryl Williams Jr.: 
Web: darylwilliamsjr.com
YouTube: h@DarylWilliamsJrOfficial
Libsyn: @darylwilliamsjr
Facebook: @darylwilliamsII
Instagram: @darylwilliams__
Everywhere: @DarylWilliamsJr (1R, 1L) 
Book: 99% Human, 1% Amazing Booking: 2026 & 2027 school partnerships — year-long teacher retention program
 
👉🏿  About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.
 
Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
 
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
 
⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️
https://themodernmanpodcast.com/thenobleknights 
 
🫱🏿‍🫲🏾CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🫱🏿‍🫲🏾
Visit our website: themodernmanshow.com
Follow us on Twitter: TheModernMan8 
Follow us on Instagram: @TheModernManShow 
Subscribe to our YouTube channel: The Modern Man
#modernmanpodcast #nobleknights #darylwilliams #teacherretention #mensleadership #fatherhood #growthmindset

I wasted 15 years of my sex life. Alex Grendi, former professional soccer player turned certified men's sex coach, joins Ted Phaeton on The Modern Man Podcast to talk about the silent battle 20 to 30 percent of men face — performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, ED — and the 4-step method he uses to fix it.
 
Alex spent 15 years battling this himself while competing at the elite athletic level, hiding it behind marijuana and locker-room bravado. This is the conversation that unpacks how sexual confidence directly shapes how a man shows up in business, leadership, and marriage — and the exact steps to reclaim it. Alex walks through the Superior Lovers 4-step method: nervous-system regulation (why porn/masturbation-free weeks reveal your real stress load), non-genital pleasure and sound expression (the shame most men carry), edging as exposure therapy for arousal, and separating orgasm from ejaculation. Plus: why Kegels are an emergency brake and not a solution, why sobriety was Alex's real turning point, and Ted's rule — you can't heal what you don't reveal.
 
Chapters:
00:00 15 Years Wasted
01:44 Welcome, Brother — Ted's Intro
02:22 "Sex Felt Like Something I Had to Get Through"
03:39 How Every Man Ends Up in the Loop
05:59 Elite Athlete on the Outside, Suffering on the Inside
08:16 The Whiskey Dick Problem (And What Research Actually Says)
09:28 The Turning Point — Sobriety & Self-Discovery
10:36 Sexual Health IS Health
13:52 What Semen Retention Actually Is (It's NOT NoFap)
16:30 How to Move Your Sexual Energy
19:00 Ted on Breaking His Own Porn Habit
21:17 The Layers Underneath "Boredom"
22:46 What "Superior Lover" Actually Means
24:25 Why the "Quick Tip" Won't Fix It
26:56 STEP 1 — Stress Regulation & Nervous System Awareness
28:57 Ted's Ice Bath Aha Moment (120 BPM → 68 BPM)
30:03 The Ice Bath Erection Challenge 😂
31:01 STEP 2 — Non-Genital Touch & Sound Expression
33:52 The *When Harry Met Sally* Reversal
37:19 STEP 3 — Edging & the Stop-Start Method
41:28 The Kegel Myth-Buster (Emergency Brake, Not a Solution)
43:33 STEP 4 — Separating Orgasm from Ejaculation
45:35 The Taboo That Keeps Men Stuck
47:28 30–50% of Men Have Experienced This
48:50 "You Can't Heal What You Don't Reveal"
49:18 The Ejaculation Replacement Technique
50:39 Where to Find Alex
51:56 What Changed How Alex Sees the World (Sobriety)
53:21 Ted's Final Takeaways & Closing Thoughts
 
🤝 Connect with Alex Grendi: 
 Website: alexgrendi.com 
YouTube Channels: 
Alex Grendi
Alex Grendi Coaching
Instagram:  @alex.grendi



Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: If you need emotional support, reach out to the national mental health hotline: Call, Text, or Chat 988 
 
👉🏿  About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.
 
Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
 
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
 
⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️
thenobleknights 
 
🫱🏿‍🫲🏾CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🫱🏿‍🫲🏾
Visit our website: themodernmanshow.com
Follow us on Twitter: TheModernMan8 
Follow us on Instagram: @TheModernManShow 
Subscribe to our YouTube channel: The Modern Man

Ex-Special Forces commando Tim Thomas on why elite soldiers break — and the 10 minutes a day that fix every exhausted man. From down under, Tim joins Ted Phaeton on The Modern Man Podcast to unpack the Performance Pyramid, the Two Golden 5-Minute Windows, and the warfare tactic he learned in Afghanistan that maps directly to how modern men are burning themselves out.
 
Tim served with Australian Special Forces in Afghanistan, competed as a pro MMA fighter, survived PTSD, and has spent the last decade in the veteran recovery space. He's the founder of Breathwork in Bed (an app, a method, and a movement), author of Fight, Flight, Feel, and has raised over $1M for veteran mental health research. His message is simple — most men are trying to fix their life while exhausted. Fix the sleep first, everything else follows.
 
In this conversation: the Performance Pyramid (outcomes → actions → rest/recovery/healing art forms — and why most men build only the top two), the bow-and-arrow reframe for rest days ("bow days"), self-worth as our real center of gravity, how pain transforms into loneliness and isolation and what breaks it, the "energetic millionaire" metaphor, Tim's own path through the crushing weight of defeat, and the tactical spine — the 5 minutes before sleep + 5 minutes upon waking that determine the shape of your entire day. Plus: why breath outranks thinking, why the presence of oxygen is the absence of disease, and Tim's invitation to Ted (and to you) — the Breathwork in Bed 28-day challenge.
 
Chapters:
00:00 Elite soldiers break — not from lack of strength, from lack of recovery
01:42 Welcome brother — Ted's intro
02:12 The performance question no training manual prepares you for 02:55 The 20s vs. the rest of your life 
03:15 The Performance Pyramid (outcomes → actions → rest) 
05:22 Warfare tactic — attack the enemy's sleep, better than a bullet 05:53 Our center of gravity is self-worth 
08:16 Ted on peace in the home 
10:36 The bow-and-arrow reframe — bow days over rest days 
14:02 Solitude vs. isolation 
16:38 The danger age for men — 38 to 42 
17:20 Tim's veteran suicide-prevention work — 40 lives in one year 
21:23 The Noble Knights + the isolation break 
23:14 The question that changes everything — how many other people? 26:04 The firefighter story — the problem wasn't my own 
27:33 The Energetic Millionaire metaphor 
30:37 The research on sleep + testosterone + performance 
32:51 Speaking to the stubborn version of yourself 
35:31 The pyramid vs. pyramid — the competitor's edge 
38:24 THE TWO GOLDEN 5-MINUTE WINDOWS 
40:41 Breath outranks thinking
42:30 What the breath work actually looks like 
45:22 Sleep is the soil from which everything grows
46:27 The Breathwork in Bed 28-day challenge 
49:13 The crushing weight of defeat — Tim's vision 
51:25 Ted's recap
 
Connect with Tim Thomas: Breathwork in Bed app: Search "Breathwork in Bed" in your app store — 28-day free trial Book: Fight, Flight, Feel Web: breathworkinbed.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathworkinbed
👉 About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.
 
Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
 
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
 
⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️
https://themodernmanpodcast.com/thenobleknights 
 
🤝CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🤝
Visit our website: themodernmanshow.com
Follow us on Twitter: TheModernMan8 
Follow us on Instagram: @TheModernManShow 
Subscribe to our YouTube channel: The Modern Man

Ted's testosterone was almost 200 — 198 to be exact — and he looked healthy on the outside. Muscle, working out, doing the podcast. On the inside his hormone floor was gone. Then he did the work Mark Holman coaches men through, and now he's at 800. No TRT. All natural.
 
Mark Holman is a mental/physical health and testosterone optimization coach. Creator of the Unchained program (formerly Revival) and the 5-Day High-T Leadership Challenge. He was on the Modern Man Podcast before — this is Round 2. He's since moved his own total T to 1,100, doubled his free testosterone, broke his own income barrier, and met the woman he's now marrying.
 
In this conversation, Mark and Ted go deep on why "normal" testosterone is a lie (74% of Americans are overweight — that's the population setting the normal range), Mark's named diagnostic concept — the Health Handbrakes — that a standard blood panel won't reveal, why TRT is like winning the lottery (no process, no struggle, and you're on it for life), the free-T-vs-SHBG conversation most doctors skip, the sniper-vs-shotgun reframe for supplements (and the Tongkat Ali standardization rule most brands hide), and the leadership-testosterone connection — why lower T makes you more risk-averse and quietly shrinks your ambition.
 
Plus: Ted's own before/after receipts (198 → 800 natural), the University of Chicago sleep study that showed a 5-hour night drops testosterone 10-15% in one week, the 2007 JCEM data showing modern men's T is generationally lower than their fathers' generation at the same age, and Mark's closer on the nice-guy generational curse he inherited from his father and broke.
 
If you're a high-performing man between 25 and 55 with a "normal" blood panel and a feeling something's off — this one's for you.
 
Key insights from this episode:
 
Testosterone as an on-demand hormone (not a fixed number)

Why "normal T ranges" are a lie (74% of Americans set that baseline)

The Health Handbrakes: the root causes of low T that a standard panel misses

The Unchained standard: 700 total testosterone is the floor, not the ceiling

Free T + SHBG: why total T alone lies to you

TRT is like winning the lottery: no process, no struggle, and you're on it for life

Sniper vs. Shotgun supplementation (and the Tongkat Ali 2% eurycomanone rule)

The testosterone-leadership connection: why low T makes you risk-averse

Ted's before/after receipts: 198 to 800 natural in 18 months

Mark's N=1 story: 1,100 total T, doubled free T, wife met, business broke through

 
Chapters:
00:00 The confession — my T was 198
02:04 What's Changed About Testosterone?
04:25 Can You Naturally Increase Testosterone?
05:47 Why "Normal" Blood Work Isn't Enough
08:36 The Testosterone Range Doctors Miss
10:00 Ted's Testosterone: 198 → 800 Naturally
11:57 What to Do If Your Doctor Says You're "Normal"
14:20 Can You Come Off TRT?
15:42 TRT vs. Fixing the Root Cause
17:58 Stress, Sleep & Free Testosterone
20:15 When Is TRT Actually Necessary?
23:04 Why Men's Testosterone Keeps Declining
25:42 The Truth About Testosterone Supplements
29:43 Zinc, Vitamin D & Deficiencies Explained
30:36 Why Most T Boosters Don't Work
33:22 The Hidden Cost of Low Testosterone
36:42 Testosterone, Leadership & Confidence
39:22 Does Sunlight on Your Balls Work?
40:23 Mark's Results: 1,100 Testosterone
45:14 Health, Wealth & Love
45:47 Free Blood Work Analysis
46:47 The Lesson That Changed Mark's Life
49:09 Ted's Biggest Takeaways
Connect with Mark Holman:
Instagram: @markholmanhealth/
Free Master Class: testosteronemasterclass
Linktree: Markholmanhealth
 
👉 About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life.
 
Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time
 
Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook
 
⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️
https://themodernmanpodcast.com/thenobleknights 
 
🤝CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🤝
Visit our website: themodernmanshow.com
Follow us on Twitter: TheModernMan8 
Follow us on Instagram: @TheModernManShow 
Subscribe to our YouTube channel: The Modern Man