Not Too Sensitive - Empowering Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) To Own Their Sensitivity

In this episode, Alissa gets into why the instinct to smooth things over the second someone reacts to your boundary is actually a form of people pleasing, and why building your tolerance for that discomfort is the first step toward feeling unbotherable.
Alissa traces this back to the fear of abandonment underneath it, whether that shows up as a partner flipping the story back on you or a family member waving off a hurtful comment as a joke. She shows how the pattern gets reinforced every time it's smoothed over instead of named, and why noticing what's actually driving the rush to resolution is what starts to shift the pattern.
Alissa shares what it actually looks like to sit in the discomfort of a boundary instead of collapsing it, so you can source your safety and self-respect from within instead of from someone else's reaction.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why the urge to smooth things over the moment your boundary lands is people pleasing
How to recognize when you're rushing to resolution out of a fear of abandonment rather than genuine repair
Why letting someone avoid the consequences of their own behavior quietly teaches them how to treat you
How trusting what your body is telling you becomes more reliable than the story someone else is offering in the moment
Why pushback from someone who's benefited from your smallness is a sign you're doing this right, not a sign you did something wrong

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Alissa gets into why triggers land the way they do and why finding the root cause is the first step toward feeling steady, unshakable, and less at the mercy of what everyone around you is doing.
Most triggers trace back to one of two places, an old wound from the past or an unmet need in the present. Alissa shows how naming that root pulls the charge out of it, so emotional memory stops determining your responses.
Alissa walks through what it actually looks like to clean up your side of the street so you can confidently source your safety from within.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why a reaction that feels disproportionate to the moment is a clue you've been triggered
The two roots of most triggers, an old wound or an unmet need, and how to tell which one is showing up
How pulling the charge out of a past experience lets a familiar situation lose its grip
What "cleaning up your side of the street" looks like before you decide whether a conversation is even needed
Why working through a trigger once makes it quieter every single time it comes back
How sourcing your safety from within frees you from living at the mercy of other people's choices

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this week's episode, Alissa shares a quick hack that quietly rewrites how you see yourself: "I'm the type of person who..."
So often you pin your happiness on the outcome, the finished book, the dream partner, the number of followers. Alissa offers an alternative, letting the process itself become the proof and validation of who you're becoming.
Every time you act like the person you want to be, you teach yourself to expect that version of you to show up (even when you don't feel like it).
In this episode, you'll learn:
How the phrase "I'm the type of person who" shifts your self-concept in real time
Why tying your happiness to the outcome makes the whole journey feel worse
How to turn everyday hard moments into evidence of who you're becoming
What showing up to an almost empty room taught Alissa about building real confidence
How to use this practice with people pleasing, exercise, dating, and creative work
Why falling off track is its own chance to prove the kind of person you are

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

For most highly sensitive people, advocating for a physical need feels like being a burden. Jen Fitzpatrick, a celiac advocate and founder of the Confident Celiac Community, joins Alissa to talk about the years she spent staying quiet about her own needs and the shift that finally changed it.
The tension is one a lot of HSPs with a chronic condition know well. Speaking up is what keeps you safe, but every people pleasing instinct says stay quiet instead. Alissa and Jen unpack why that instinct runs so deep and how to move through it anyway.
Pulling from Jen's diagnosis story, a study abroad trip where she watched everyone else eat what she couldn't, and Alissa's own experience navigating her daughter's recent diagnosis, the conversation moves through shame, community and self worth.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why highly sensitive people are especially likely to stay quiet about a chronic health need
Jen's own story of cross contamination scares and learning to advocate for herself after years of people pleasing
The simple swap that changed everything for Jen, saying thank you instead of sorry
Why choosing ten seconds of social discomfort is almost always worth it over days of physical pain
How finding community turned a hard diagnosis into something less isolating for both Jen and Alissa

Follow Jen:
Website: https://www.thenomadicfitzpatricks.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenomadicfitz
Self-Love Toolkit: https://the-nomadic-fitzpatricks-gluten-free.teachable.com/p/celiac-self-love-toolkit-1059254

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Alissa breaks down why every hard season is building something in you that easy seasons never could, tracing the idea back to astrology, her own birth chart, and a realization that caught her off guard through her daughter Blaine's health diagnoses.
She walks you through how to see every uncomfortable, triggering situation as character development and opportunities for growth.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What your North Node and South Node reveal about your natural strengths versus the traits you're still growing into
How raising her daughter through celiac disease and Type 1 diabetes diagnoses is developing the structured, disciplined side of Alissa that used to feel completely foreign
Why a demanding boss, an unexplained health symptom, or another uncomfortable dynamic might be pointing to a part of your character that's ready to develop
The difference between staying in a toxic environment and choosing a challenge that's actually building you
What the growth gap is and why the space between your old identity and your new one feels so uncomfortable
Why letting fear of judgment, like worrying what old classmates will think, keep you from starting something is really just self-sabotage in disguise

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠