Not Too Sensitive - Empowering Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) To Own Their Sensitivity

This week, Alissa sits down with social anxiety coach and author Claire Eastham to unpack where that fear really comes from and what it takes to stop performing your way through every interaction.
Claire shares how years of masking and people-pleasing led to a nervous breakdown, and how embracing the very traits she'd been told were "too much" became the turning point. Together they explore why sensitive, empathic people are especially prone to over-scripting social situations and why the goal was never to stop feeling uncomfortable.
This conversation is equal parts honest and light, full of personal stories, practical strategies, and the kind of permission-giving reframes that change how you show up. The real shift isn't becoming someone who doesn't get anxious. It's becoming someone who doesn't need to hide it.
In this episode:
Why social anxiety develops from early experiences of being told you're "not okay" the way you are, and how the brain starts treating social situations as threats
The two patterns people fall into: total avoidance or over-preparing and scripting every interaction, and why neither leads to real connection
How naming your anxiety out loud in the moment can cut it in half and why the shame of being "found out" is often worse than the anxiety itself
Claire's approach to gradual exposure with a specific goal, broken into small steps, paired with genuine rewards
The power of replacing small talk with real questions and why curiosity is a better social strategy than performance
Why the most magnetic version of you isn't a polished persona but the one who's actually comfortable being themselves

Connect with Claire:
Website: https://substack.com/@thatsocialanxietycoach?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5bv5ps
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/claireeasthamuk/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wereallmadhere00
My new book 'Party with Panic: How to Conquer Panix Attacks (for good)' Is available to pre-order now and will be published on 11th May. For every copy sold I will donate 50p to the charity MQ . https://amzn.eu/d/06xOHhPO

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this epsidoe, Alissa explores the post-social spiral that so many highly sensitive people get trapped in, and the surprisingly simple tool she uses to stop it in its tracks.
Alissa shares two recent experiences of her own, one at a casual social gathering where she felt quieter than usual, and one at a networking event that pushed her way outside her comfort zone. She also pulls from a live coaching call inside the Not Too Sensitive Club, where a member shared her own version of this breakthrough that stopped the spiral.
What you'll hear in this episode:
Why the post-social replay isn't a sign you did something wrong: it's a self-protective pattern rooted in past experiences of rejection or judgment
How Alissa mentally files a worry away and commits to not reopening it
The difference between recognizing something you'd do differently next time and punishing yourself for how you showed up
Why sensitive people often feel pressure to be "on" in every interaction, and what shifts when you stop trying to manage how others perceive you

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Drawing from a recent coaching conversation inside the Not Too Sensitive Club, Alissa walks through the pattern so many highly sensitive women fall into: outsourcing their sense of self to how others respond to them. When that source gets disrupted (e.g., a boundary gets pushback, a workplace stops reflecting your value) it can feel like an identity crisis.
Alissa explores what happens when the external validation you've relied on disappears, and why that unraveling is actually the beginning of something more solid.
Because the real work isn't getting people to see you differently. It's learning to source your steadiness from within so that outside opinions stop running your life.
What you'll hear in this episode:
How being the responsible, accommodating, always-available person becomes the thing you can't separate yourself from
Why life sometimes removes your external sources of worth, and what the growth opportunity actually looks like when it does
The inner critic that shows up when you try something new…what it sounds like and how to respond without crumbling
Being okay with someone having the wrong idea about you (the skill most sensitive people were never taught)
The difference between needing people to see you a certain way and deciding for yourself who you are

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this solo episode, Alissa explores the difference between people who tell you what you want to hear and the ones who love you enough to tell you the truth. Because validation feels good, but it can also keep you stuck.
Alissa makes the case for honest, loving challenge as one of the most underrated forms of care, and reflects on what changes when you finally have people in your corner who won't let you stay small.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why saying what someone wants to hear isn't kindness. It's just comfort in disguise.
How a blunt comment from her husband stung, landed, and lit a fire that changed everything.
Relating to your struggle and helping you actually move through it are two very different things.
What it looks like to hold space AND hold people to a higher standard at the same time.
The relationship audit: do you actually have people in your life who will lovingly call you out?

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this solo episode, Alissa unpacks what's actually happening when you measure yourself against someone else, and how to use those moments as information rather than evidence of your own inadequacy.
The reflex most of us have when comparison hits is either self-diminishment or quiet resentment. What Alissa offers instead is a way to get curious.
Alissa shares personal examples and client stories to show what it looks like to catch the comparison mid-spiral and redirect it. The more grounded you are in who you are and what you actually care about, the less comparison has to take you out.
In this episode:
Why the first instinct is often self-criticism or justifying why the other person "doesn't count,"and how that keeps you stuck
How to read what you're comparing yourself to as data pointing toward your desires and values
A simple question to ask when comparison hits:"Do I actually care about this?", and how it can dissolve the charge almost instantly
Why staying in frustration or victim energy doesn't just feel bad. It follows you into every conversation and relationship
How knowing yourself deeply changes the way comparison lands, and how fast you can move through it

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠