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The Therapy Crouch

Tall or Nothing
The Therapy Crouch
Latest episode

301 episodes

  • The Therapy Crouch

    Hall Passes, Pregnancy Rows & Why Peter Threw Sausages Out The Window

    02/07/2026 | 25 mins.
    On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter and Abbey are back for another Ask Me Anything, still navigating long distance with Pete in LA and Abbey in Portugal, and the chaos starts almost immediately...

    The pair kick things off with a debate about breaking news alerts, why the news is always so depressing, and whether the world desperately needs a "good news" channel instead. They then dive into a listener dilemma about moving out to the countryside, discussing teenage independence, parenting guilt and why neither of them would let their own kids walk anywhere alone these days.

    Elsewhere, Peter and Abbey take a nostalgic trip back through their favourite childhood games, with Peter somehow admitting he left Abbey lying injured during a family game because he had to get back to the tree first!
    There's also a hilarious discussion about celebrity hall passes after one listener accidentally named Abbey as his, before Peter and Abbey reveal their own celebrity crushes and debate whether hall passes should even exist in a marriage.

    The couple also revisit one of their most infamous relationship rows involving wild boar sausages, pregnancy cravings and the "World's Best Prawn Sandwich", while another listener's dishwasher loading complaint sparks a surprisingly passionate debate about household chores and who actually knows the "correct" way to do them.

    Plus, Peter becomes obsessed with the idea of growing vegetables like David Beckham, the pair dream about making homemade soups and chimichurri from their future garden, and one listener's romantic evening is completely derailed by... a sourdough timer.

    There's also a heartfelt moment as Peter and Abbey send their love to listener Mark during his chemotherapy treatment, before ending the episode with a genuinely touching long-distance goodbye that reminds everyone just how much they miss being together.

    If you want to submit an Agony Ab or Ask Me Anything question to the podcast, hit the link below:

    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKD...

    00:00 - Intro and bizarre opening conversation
    00:28 - Ask Me Anything begins from LA and Portugal
    00:53 - Breaking news interrupts the podcast
    01:38 - Why the news is always so negative
    02:18 - Family dilemma: move house or stay rural?
    03:14 - Parenting guilt and giving teenagers independence
    04:14 - Would they let their own children walk alone?
    04:51 - Childhood games and playground nostalgia
    05:43 - Hide and Seek, Bulldog and forgotten classics
    06:15 - The new game everyone became obsessed with
    06:56 - Peter leaves Abbey injured to win the game
    07:20 - Celebrity hall pass dilemma from a listener
    08:09 - Abbey and Peter reveal their celebrity crushes
    09:12 - Hall pass rules and where the phrase comes from
    10:43 - Emotional message for listener Mark during chemotherapy
    12:18 - Pettiest reasons for ending relationships
    13:05 - The pregnancy sausage argument returns
    14:05 - The "World's Best Prawn Sandwich" disaster
    15:10 - Abbey admits she ghosted someone on a date
    16:18 - Peter's "dance van" pronunciation gets roasted
    17:42 - Dishwasher loading wars between couples
    18:40 - Peter's only official household chore
    19:18 - David Beckham's vegetable garden inspires Peter
    20:18 - Dreaming about home-grown food and batch cooking
    21:20 - Romance interrupted by sourdough bread
    22:10 - Parenting and trying to find time together
    23:20 - Peter's least sexy relationship moment
    24:18 - Bread making vs romance debate continues
    25:02 - Sweet long-distance goodbye and family appreciation

    To contact us:

    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com
    Instagram:

    / thetherapycrouchpodcast

    TikTok:

    / thetherapycrouch

    Website:https://thetherapycrouch.com/

    For more from Peter

    / petercrouch

    For more from Abbey

    / abbeyclancy

    Our clips channel

    / @thetherapycrouch-clipsch-om9dy
    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
  • The Therapy Crouch

    Peter & Abbey React to America's Wildest AITA Stories, Robot Deliveries and Dating Disasters…

    30/06/2026 | 43 mins.
    On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter is back in LA while Abbey holds down the fort in Portugal, and long-distance life is proving just as chaotic as ever.

    The pair kick things off by catching up across the time difference, with Pete walking into a house where everyone is ill while Abbey gives a dramatic update on her ever-growing cat family. What started as rescuing a few kittens has turned into full-blown Tiger King territory, complete with surprise attacks and daily battles just to clean their eyes.

    Elsewhere, Peter reveals his biggest long-distance frustration, why time zones should be abolished forever, and the couple laugh about the strange ways they've celebrated birthdays and even delayed Christmas together when life got in the way.

    There's also a brilliant listener debate about whether "I'm just going for one drink" has ever actually meant one drink, before the pair tackle some of the internet's most ridiculous ‘Am I The Asshole’ stories. From a man who demolished an entire four-foot party sandwich to a groom desperate to hide his brother's extremely graphic tattoo on his wedding day, the dilemmas only get more bizarre.

    Plus, Pete is fascinated by LA's driverless delivery robots, Abbey explains why self-checkouts are killing conversation, and an Agony Ab involving a supposedly "dead" ex leaves everyone questioning what they would do in the same situation.

    If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below:

    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKD...

    00:00 - Pete flirts before the podcast starts
    00:24 - Peter joins from LA as Abbey stays in Portugal
    01:05 - Pete arrives to a house full of ill crew members
    01:53 - Abbey's rescued kittens become complete chaos
    03:42 - Tiger King comparisons and life with five kittens
    04:28 - Pete misses Abbey but loves working in LA
    05:05 - Abbey's sunrise horse ride nearly sends Pete to sleep
    06:25 - Weekly whine: long distance and impossible time zones
    07:50 - Pete jokes Abbey is too happy without him
    09:00 - How they move anniversaries and even Christmas
    10:04 - "One drink with the lads" never ends well
    12:13 - Pete explains why men should stop promising one pint
    16:03 - Listener compliments, fashion chat and modern dating
    18:07 - Why the 90s were better than today
    20:00 - Relationship ick: talking to your partner through the dog
    22:24 - American AITA: the infamous 4-foot party sandwich
    26:24 - Was eating the entire sandwich actually selfish?
    29:53 - Dad tries forcing his 25-year-old girlfriend into every friendship group
    34:27 - Wedding drama over a giant vagina tattoo
    38:00 - Pete's mind is blown by LA delivery robots
    39:40 - Why self-checkouts are ruining human interaction
    41:25 - Agony Ab: is your girlfriend lying about her "dead" ex?
    43:25 - Doppelganger debate and emotional long-distance goodbye

    To contact us:

    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com
    Instagram:

    / thetherapycrouchpodcast

    TikTok:

    / thetherapycrouch

    Website:https://thetherapycrouch.com/

    For more from Peter

    / petercrouch

    For more from Abbey

    / abbeyclancy

    Our clips channel

    / @thetherapycrouch-clipsch-om9dy
    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
  • The Therapy Crouch

    Peter and Abbey Talk Long Distance Delusions, Comfort Knickers and The Return of Shabba!

    25/06/2026 | 23 mins.
    On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back for another Ask Me Anything from Portugal and there is absolutely no shortage of chaos!

    The pair kick things off by diving into the realities of being reunited after time apart, with Abbey admitting Peter has completely ruined the routine she’d finally managed to get in place while solo parenting. There’s also a fresh long-distance confession from producer Gaz, who reveals he took his girlfriend’s pants to LA for “comfort” only for them to be neatly folded by the housekeeper and left on full display in his room…

    Elsewhere, Abbey and Peter discuss one listener’s boyfriend who insists on calling a Leeds-to-Manchester relationship “long distance”, whether ugly animals are actually the cutest pets of all, and why Abbey can’t stop rescuing tiny kittens in Portugal. There’s also a truly bizarre internet confession involving a sex act, a shout of “Shabba!” and an Alexa request for Mr Bombastic that completely derails the pod.

    Plus, Abbey opens up about her Scouse identity, whether she’s become “too posh” for Liverpool, and the strange experience of sounding too Scouse in London but not Scouse enough back home!

    If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below
    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

    00:00 Introduction
    02:20 G’s Long Distance Comfort Knickers
    04:22 Abbey’s New Coconut Coffee Obsession
    07:22 The Boyfriend Who Calls Leeds to Manchester ‘Long Distance’
    09:28 Ugly Pets, Feral Cats and A Farm Podcast Invitation
    12:17 Abbey’s Portugal Animal Rescue Update
    15:17 The Shabba Bedroom Confession
    18:04 Laughing With A Straight Face
    19:01 Abbey on Being Scouse in London vs Liverpool
    22:20 Abbey Plans G’s Makeover

    To contact us:

    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

    Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

    For more from Peter
    https://twitter.com/petercrouch

    For more from Abbey
    https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

    Our clips channel
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg
    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
  • The Therapy Crouch

    Father’s Day Chaos! Abbey Fosters Five Kittens, Gaz Burns His BALLS and a Listener’s Lingerie Confession!

    23/06/2026 | 41 mins.
    On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are reunited in Portugal for a Father’s Day special… but as always, things go downhill fast!

    Abbey reveals she’s somehow ended up fostering a wild cat and five tiny kittens after they were found abandoned in a dumpster, while Peter returns from LA only to be struck down by jet lag & a family vomit bug. Oh, and Gaz suffers one of the most unfortunate sunburn injuries we’ve ever heard on the pod!

    The pair also tackle some of your Father’s Day dilemmas, from whether homemade cards are ever acceptable as an adult, to the horror of six-minute voice notes from dads who’ve discovered Facebook Marketplace.

    In the Agony Abs, one listener gets in touch after walking in on her boyfriend wearing her lingerie over a full work suit while performing what can only be described as an interpretive crab dance around the bedroom… and honestly, it might be one of the most chaotic emails we’ve ever had!

    Elsewhere, there’s more pelvic floor follow-up, Abbey and Peter debate slamming doors, wardrobe icks and car door etiquette, and Gaz admits what he’s missing most about football culture in the UK while out in the States.

    If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below
    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

    00:00 Introduction
    01:12 Abbey Fosters A Wild Cat and Five Kittens
    05:08 Father’s Day, Family Chaos and The Vomit Bug
    07:35 Gaz's Insane Sunburn Story
    11:48 Father’s Day Card Dilemmas
    14:10 Dad Voice Notes and Facebook Marketplace Addiction
    17:39 Pelvic Floor Follow-Up
    20:28 Cupboard Slamming, Door Icks and Household Annoyances
    24:05 Peter’s Ideal Father’s Day
    25:42 Reuniting In Portugal After Time Apart
    31:43 The Lingerie Crab Dance Email
    38:31 Gaz's Football Culture Rant In America
    40:28 Wrapping Up In Portugal

    To contact us:
    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch
    Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

    For more from Peter
    https://twitter.com/petercrouch

    For more from Abbey
    https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

    Our clips channel
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg
    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
  • The Therapy Crouch

    Long Distance Disasters! Abbey and Peter Struggle Apart, World Cup FOMO and Bedroom Dilemmas

    19/06/2026 | 44 mins.
    On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter attempt another long-distance podcast recording... and quickly realise just how difficult it is to be apart.

    After a chaotic start filled with technical disasters, Peter opens up about life at the World Cup, meeting internet superstar IShowSpeed, and why being away from home is proving tougher than expected. Meanwhile, Abbey has fully embraced life in Portugal, from horse riding on the beach to becoming the ultimate football mum.

    The couple discuss whether they’re any good at long distance, Peter’s frustrations with communication while he’s away, and why they both agree being apart simply doesn’t suit them.

    Plus, listener emails spark conversations about celebrity lookalikes, bizarre relationship situations, modern dating dilemmas and one particularly awkward bedroom problem that leaves Abbey and Peter struggling to keep a straight face.

    00:00 Long Distance Recording Chaos03:00 Abbey Offers Peter A Makeover06:15 Life In Portugal & World Cup Updates08:50 Peter Opens Up About Missing Home10:15 Meeting IShowSpeed At The World Cup11:50 Abbey's Horse Riding Adventure13:30 Are Abbey & Peter Bad At Long Distance?15:20 Listener Apology To Abbey18:00 Does Anyone Fancy Peter?20:50 Peter Crouch Love Island Lookalike22:00 Icks, Cycling Gear & Matcha Orders27:40 Long Distance Relationship Horror Story33:45 The Awkward Bedroom Dilemma41:20 Abbey & Peter's Advice42:45 Emotional Goodbye From Portugal

    To contact us:

    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com
    Instagram: / thetherapycrouchpodcast
    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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About The Therapy Crouch
Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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