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The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt

Carol Murphy
The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt
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  • Episode 41: Celebate Psychopath & A Million Rivets.
    I howl like the wolf because that is what I do and part of who I am. Animals shake trauma off after they’ve been attacked by a tiger or a lion or a sloth, whereas I howl like the wolf to SHAKE IT OFF mark out my territory, stay in position, I mean where else is there to go when you’re in limbo, with nothing but your memories of eating the colonizers back in the Irish Famine. Those were the days. I howl to prepare me for the PRIVILEGE of reading your letters, yes, the ones sent in by my horror and sci fi low life to see if I am help them out of their self-sabotaged to the death drama’s whilst at the same time, giving you all a laugh at their expense and for our pleasure. Welcome to Episode 41: Celebate Psychopath & A Million Rivets.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comJ G BALLARD - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._G._BallardRADIO 4 - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live/bbc_radio_fourfmIN OUR TIME - https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006qyklKING BILLY - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_III_of_England28 YEARS LATER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Years_Later
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  • Episode 40: Bitter Perfection & Precision Violence
    I howl like the wolf because I need. And no matter how I try, I can’t stop needing. I’m also worried that if I stop needing, I will lose my raison d’etre, and that’s a lot of raisons, reasons and raisons, and really saying something what with being stuck in limbo with only a fraction of a newt’s breath of a chance of getting into heaven, and even that perturbs me. What am I going to do there without need? No longing to both cripple and indulge my emotions. In fact, or so the story goes, I won’t have emotions, just peace, which to me sounds a lot like being a product without a soul. What will occupy my mind, ie the mind of the obsessed and the addicted? Speaking to all you horror and Sci Fi Fans out there. One genre crossing out the other out. Always in a dichotomy of tension and contradiction. We strive, don’t we, to fulfill the promise, the potential of the greatness our life could be. And in that promise, we think the future’ll be bright in its lack of want, when all our desires are satiated. But to be honest, we are addicted to not having. Whatever the original fissure, probably in childhood, it has left a big bucket of need, so big that when you look inside you cannot see the edges, the corners, or the rot. And we cling onto it, because if we don’t, if we put it down, we’ll be crippled by our pain and by what we think is the banal and the ordinary. In other words, no matter how dreadful all of your problems are, sweet listeners and horror and SCI FI miscreants, from across time and space, I’m telling you that you love them, indeed, what would you do without them? And what would we do without our reciprocal feed on them. So keep on keeping on, let’s spoil for a bit of a game of combinations and permutations of mutual self-torment and see how it all lands. What larks. Keep on sending in your tales of want, panic, fear, self-loathing, murder, torture, haunting, future dystopia and general misanthropy. Unzip your throat and pull out your most rancid of egos and slap it on the table like the random access memory you pretended to forget and as your friendly neighbourhood Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt I will see how I can help clean out your proverbial cobwebs, not with bleach, but with a feather duster that just redistributes filth rather that getting to the root cause. Welcome to Episode 40: Bitter Perfection & Precision Violence. REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comJ G BALLARD - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._G._BallardBOOTS by Rudyard Kipling https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_(poem)
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  • Episode 39: Mixed Messages & Royally Shanked
    I howl like the wolf because I am one-dimensional and I cling onto that formal, often traditional, sequence of actions or words performed in a specific order, often associated with religious or cultural significance for dear life, or death, seeing as I am in limbo which is like a desert island without the hope or sting ray jelly fish. You take the rough with the smooth. So take or leave the howling, hi. I ain’t stopping. But, seeing as I am bored out of my skull, I’m the perfect candidate to guide you through the perils and challenges of your life and horror misdemeanours as your very own Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt, speaking from my comedy horror podcast. I am ready. I am willing. And I am suitably stuffed to take on the emotional problems sent in by my horror and sci fi litter of listeners from across time and space so that I can salvage the un-heaven sent. Bring it on, throw something, anything at me and I’ll see what kind of explosive dart I can throw back. Welcome to Episode 39: Mixed Messages & Royally Shanked. REFERENCES CAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comBRING THE PAIN by Method Man - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0BlXy3Roj4SON OF SAM - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_BerkowitzROSEMARY WEST - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rose_WestJ G BAlLARD - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._G._BallardMOUNT ETNA - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Etna
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  • Episode 38: Embrace The Rage & Existential Piranha
    I howl like the wolf because things never happen quickly enough, do they? I’m waiting for the day when everything will speed up. And I don’t mean like the time when you were trapped in your mum’s car as a child with your brother whilst getting an automated industrial car wash. Everything was fast, suds n shit, whilst you were stuck and miraculously dry. And then your bro metamorphosed into a child of corn and that, ladies and gentlemen, was when the trouble began. No! I mean actual movement…life going from A to B and not via F U C K E D. That’s why I howl. Nothingness implodes in the soul. Longing for change internalizes into a fetid growth or desire that leads to self-abuse on a super scale or an inappropriate focus on the wrong thing….like your neighbour’s brilliant career in botany. Yeah…fuck her….and that is why you need me to punctuate the boredom so that you don’t end up poisoning the water and killing all of us. And who am I? Your very own Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt, speaking from her comedy horror podcast. I am READY and I am willing to take on the stupid fucking emotional problems sent in from my brood of listeners from across time and space so that I can salvage the unsalvageable. BRING THE PAIN, and I’ll see what crap I can come up with, hi. Welcome to Episode 38: Embrace The Rage & Existential Piranha.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comBRING THE PAIN by Method Man - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0BlXy3Roj4CHILDREN OF CORN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children_of_the_Corn_(1984_film)WU TANG-CLAN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu-Tang_ClanSON OF SAM - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_BerkowitzTAXI DRIVER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taxi_DriverMARTIN SCORSCESE - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_ScorseseRAGE VIRUS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Days_LaterIS THAT ALL THERE IS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Is_That_All_There_Is%3F
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  • Episode 37: Kill The Unconscious & Miracle Proof
    I howl like the wolf because I am in PAIN hi, as in Bring The Pain a la Method Man, but without the WU. I can give or take on that front, any which way is good for me with the voice and the schtick of Mr Man. Yes indeedy, I don’t think I be worrying about anything if I be watching him walking down the street, in heaven, hell, earth or limbo. Ho to the hum to the diddle dum, pleasure is all about that one. But PAIN - as in David Goggins making pain his friend and never finishing winning the war from within, unshackling his mind, hi, but I be done with the running, pain is in the pit of the stomach, connecting to the mind, everything a plateau, nothing changing for days and then low and behold, looky here, lying at my feet, the scavenged, stabbed half eaten, all the good parts you dig, of a colonizer circa 1845 Famine stricken Ireland, and yet in the head region, never ending trauma, like running in and out of the traumatic event, always coming back to the self, WHY HI? Like Florence Pugh in Thunderbolts but not in Lady Macbeth as that beeeaattttcccchhh ain’t got nothing and has nothing to lose, and indeed, takes it all. A whirlwind of appetite. That be me. But never fed. So, I’ll wallow on that for a century or so and then, PING, am back to my old self, here for the taking and the giving, as your rabid avenging angel, your very own Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt, speaking from her comedy horror podcast. And I am READY and willing to read the letters from my brood of listeners from across time and space who send me their tales of wretchedness, expecting me to salvage something from the detritus that they leave in the wake of their horrific nefarious deeds, to solve their emotional problems which have morphed into a Tsunami of rancid regret that will probably materialize into another hum dinger of a chronic act. So, BRING ON THE PAIN, YOU MO Fos, and I’ll see what I can salvage of the wreckage. Welcome to Episode 37: Kill The Unconscious & Miracle Proof.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comBRING THE PAIN by Method Man - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0BlXy3Roj4WU TANG-CLAN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu-Tang_ClanDAVID GOGGINS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_GogginsFLORENCE PUGH - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_PughTHUNDERBOLTS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thunderbolts*LADY MACBETH (FILM) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Macbeth_(film)MIRACLE WHIP - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_WhipNAPOLEON DYNAMITE - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_DynamiteDICK TURPIN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Turpin28 DAYS LATER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Days_Later28 WEEKS LATER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Weeks_Later28 YEARS LATER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Years_LaterSON OF SAM - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Berkowitz
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About The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt

The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt is a fictional comedy horror SCI FI podcast. Every Tuesday, your host, The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, the living dead, reads two letters from our emotionally ill-fettered listeners, salivates over their problems, and vomits up solutions, at their expense and for everyone else’s pleasure. The Vigilante Cannibal Nun is a sin eater, well equipped to solve a little emotional problem or two, with victims sending in their letters from across time and space, cutting through all categories of Horror and SCI FI genre. Each episode is roughly 10 minutes in length. Who is The Vigilante Cannibal Nun? Maggie Murtagh, otherwise known as The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, was born of the imagination of the artist Carol Murphy. Her story is told in a series of Murphy’s verse-driven performance films called The Body & Blood, launched here at the beginning of 2022 and performed in a UK and Irish theatre tour in 2023. In The Body & Blood, Maggie Murtagh is a young Irish Country Girl who transmogrifies into The Vigilante Cannibal Nun during the Irish Famine, after the death of her family. She steals from the rich to give to the starving poor, eats the colonisers, and destroys her soul. She is the living dead.
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