Abject Suffering

Some intellectual properties are like PFAS. Once introduced to the environment, they will never go away, just sitting and warping whatever they touch. The Hannah-Barbera archives are a superfund site of these, and no property has stuck around like Scooby-Doo. Night of 100 Frights has the distinction of being a very faithfully created 3D version of something that wasn’t great in the first place, attached to rote 3D platformer gameplay.
We also discuss exercise games, Scooby-Doo honoring the victims of 9/11, and mourning Dolly Parton and Tim Curry.

They made a fun Pong game for the PlayStation. ANYWAY, did you know that we both got Covid-19 in Las Vegas? Let’s rank the symptoms!

DJ Boy is a beat-em-up on roller skates. Roller blades? No, skates. The most hip-hop conveyance imaginable. That’s because this is a game steeped in a very removed Japanese understanding of US hip hop culture, which comes with some extremely uncomfortable racial depictions. Also, it’s time to hear about Kaye’s dental woes instead of Gary’s!

Balan Wonderworld is so infamous that sometimes you wonder if it could actually ever be that bad. Chat, it’s very bad. It ranks right behind chronically mistreating his workers on the list of worst things Yuji Naka has ever done. It’s so bad that we remain on topic for the whole episode.

Portal didn’t invent the story about the banal cruelty of corporate super science, but it sure did it better than Whiplash. You play a weasel who has a rabbit chained to you, hopping and bopping to try to escape from a laboratory. And while it promises sweet grappling hook action, all it delivers is disappointment. We also talk about Gary’s evolving battle with, and respect for, the Tree of Heaven.