Adult Child

Duane Osterlind is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist – and the host of The Addicted Mind. He specializes in helping individuals and couples impacted by sexual compulsion, porn addiction, and betrayal trauma. His Shame to Resilience group program helps men who've caused sexual betrayal learn to regulate their shame so they can finally show up with the accountability, empathy, and remorse their partners need to heal. 
✨ What this episode explores:
▪️Technology Created a New Kind of Addiction We Don't Know How to Treat Yet — Why early exposure to high-speed internet porn rewires developing brains differently than any generation before, and how phones and games use the same mechanisms to collapse the space between impulse and action.
▪️How Childhood Trauma Becomes Sexual Compulsion — The pipeline from hero/caretaker roles to dismissive attachment to using sexual arousal as the only escape from loneliness; why men especially learn to shrink their emotional lives and self-soothe through isolation.
▪️How Betrayal Is About Stolen Consent — How deception and gaslighting in relationships cause legitimate post-traumatic stress; why betrayed partners aren't "stupid for not seeing it," and what it means when someone destroys trust while still deeply loving you.
▪️Shame-Based Accountability Doesn't Work — Why the person who caused harm has to do their own shame work first before they can show up for their partner; how "compassionate accountability" is the only way through, and why shame can only heal when it's witnessed by others.
▪️The Four Phases of Healing Betrayal — The predictable 3-5 year journey from crisis to scaffolding to safety-building to repair, and why partners need to see consistent, trustworthy behavior over time before post-traumatic growth can begin
— — —
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dr. Tian Dayton is a clinical psychologist, Senior Fellow at The Meadows, and author of 15 books, including the upcoming Growing Up With Addiction: How Adult Children of Addicts Can Heal Family Trauma, CPTSD, and Codependency. In this conversation, Tian draws on her 40+ years as a professional in trauma and addiction, alongside her own lived experience growing up with alcoholism, to paint a deeply human portrait of breaking the cycle of generational trauma.
✨ What this episode explores:
▪️ Why ACA trauma is different from other childhood trauma — How growing up with alcoholic parents creates relational wounds that get passed down unless we interrupt the cycle
▪️ Healing complex trauma requires nervous system work, not just talk therapy — Why intellectual understanding keeps us stuck; how stored survival energy shows up in your body
▪️ Perfectionism is killing your recovery (and what to do instead) — Learning to live in the messy middle instead of crisis-to-crisis; why repair matters more than getting it right
▪️ Internal Family Systems (IFS) for adult children — Understanding your many "parts" (not just one inner child) and how they show up in relationships and healing
▪️ Process addictions and dissociation in ACAs — How phone addiction, food, and other behaviors help us check out; when coping crosses into something more serious
▪️ The difference between being victimized and staying in victimhood — How to honor what happened without getting stuck in victim identity that blocks your path forward
— — —
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Does narcissistic personality disorder always trace back to trauma? This episode explores what truly lies beneath personality disorders.
Dr. Peter Salerno is a psychologist specializing in personality disorders and the author of “The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism” and “Cruelty by Nature.” His work challenges mainstream assumptions, arguing that personality disorders can develop independently of childhood trauma, emphasizing biological and trait-based factors.
— — —
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy