#AmWriting

It’s very rare for me to demand that the readers of my #AmReading substack pre-order something. And the bar to be my “Just One Book” is high. But here we go:

The book is The Fountain—debut speculative fiction from Casey Scieszka—and you’ll want to read it, but even more, you’ll want to hear us talk about what it took to pull this big, beautiful novel from her Tuck-Everlasting-loving soul.
And here’s the question her agent asked her that is now stuck on a post-it on my computer and may be my next tattoo:
How can you reveal these things in action?
Casey is reading:
Open Throat by Henry Hoke (“It’s funny and deeply tender and unlike anything I’ve ever read.”
Follow Casey on Instagram and Substack: Spruceton Inn.
Transcript Below!

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

KJ Dell’Antonia
This is the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast, the place where we help you play big in your writing life, love the process, and finish what matters. I am KJ Dell’Antonia, and today we’re talking with Casey Scieszka. And I meant to ask Casey how to pronounce her last name before we started. How’d I do?
Casey Scieszka
I think you did great. Especially over in Poland, we say “SHESH-kah” over here, but I’ve been corrected many times. I think it’s supposed to be more like what you said. So… bravo!
KJ Dell’Antonia
Okay… SHESH-skah… SHESH-kah… all right, off we go. Y’all, you’re going to want to know how to spell it, because you’re going to want to order Casey’s debut novel, The Fountain, and it is spelled S-C-I-E-S-Z-K-A. But to carry on with my introduction, Casey is a ridiculously well-traveled innkeeper in upstate New York, and we are just going to let that fantasy sit there for a minute without talking about the amount of snow she’s going to be shoveling tomorrow, because we’re recording this in January and are talking about the fact that I can see her and she is wearing a full-on puffer. So… romance, Hallmark, innkeeper, debut novel—all the things—and also a puffer and snow shovels and pipes and, yeah. You will hear this episode just as Casey’s first book, The Fountain,, comes out, and that is what we’re here to talk about, because I happened to have gotten an advanced copy of it, and I happen to actually have read it—which does not always happen—and even more relevantly, loved it. Therefore, here we are. And Casey, welcome to Hashtag AmWriting.
Casey Scieszka
Thank you so much. I am so thrilled. I’m like really just beyond that you enjoyed it so much.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Ah, I’m so—I’m, I really did. I will be encouraging everyone to pick it up. It’s mind-boggling that it’s not… and it is your debut. So I’m going to go ahead and—is it, is it really? Like, I mean, I know it’s your debut, but like, is it the first book you’ve written? Oh no, you’ve, you’ve got a kind of a memoirs situation out, right?
Casey Scieszka
I wrote like a young adult travelogue with my now husband that he illustrated about when we lived like in China and West Africa and wound up literally out in Timbuktu. So I had some experience that way, but that was nonfiction and for a totally different audience. All that said, this novel is my first published one, but you better believe I have a bin in the drawer.
KJ Dell’Antonia
That’s what I meant.
Casey Scieszka
Drawer. (laughing)
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah. Yeah. So, The Fountain, is—just as briefly as possible—it’s the story of an immortal woman who really would like to die, for excellent reasons, because immortality is a weight that is really, really heavy, and you convey that beautifully and wonderfully in this book. And so I want to just start right off—I maybe should let you describe the book—and then I’ll just warn you that my next question is going to be, “Man, how did you have the guts to swing for the fences like this?”
Casey Scieszka
Well, I think it probably began when I read Natalie Babbitt’s Tuck Everlasting as a fifth grader in English class, which is about a family that—or a little girl who comes across a magical spring that an immortal family is guarding, and then she has to decide, ultimately, throughout the book, what she’s going to do with this information and this knowledge while other people are hunting it down as well. And those questions just haunted and delighted me for decades, and I kept returning to them, and at some point I was working on a novel, had a whole manuscript going, was deeply frustrated, and I started a little something on the side where I was like, this will just be a short story. We’ll see where this goes. This is nothing, and I think, because… I don’t know, maybe you’ve experienced this before too, where if you’re not looking it directly in the eye, sometimes it can just take off, and it all of a sudden had a life of its own. Essentially, this grown-up version of Tuck Everlasting, where it’s about a woman who has come back to her small hometown in the Catskill Mountains, where she was born in the 1800s, 214 years later, to figure out what did this to her so she can reverse it and finally be released.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Wow, you really have the… the short pitch. What’s your book about? Down! Congratulations! That’s a tough one. Yeah, you, you nailed it. That is what it is about. And I will say that it took—one of the things that I loved about it, and that I like in a book—is that not only was I not sure at some points what the protagonist wanted for herself, I was not sure what I wanted for her. All I knew was that I wanted “something” for her. And that makes for a really interesting reading experience. Because normally, you know, you find yourself sitting there going, well, just, you know, just tell the person, or just, you know, kiss them or accept your reality, or you’d normally—you know what you want—like, take the ring, Frodo, or whatever. Or don’t take the ring, Frodo. And now there’s no book. But, and in this one, we didn’t. How hard was—was that for you to write—sort of, I don’t know… did you know what you wanted the protagonist—or what you wanted the reader to want for her? Or…?
Casey Scieszka
Yes and no.
KJ Dell’Antonia
How did you feel about that?
Casey Scieszka
Right. Yes and no, and yes and no. I think when you’re writing, ultimately, later on in draft, you have to be very clear about what your character wants. But in the early process, I had no idea. The whole thing, like I said, began as a short story, and that’s really just the first chapter or two, and then I was essentially hunting with her. When I was writing that first draft, I was like, what are we looking for? What has happened in the past 200 years in your life that would make you feel one way or another? And then every time I had a different little angel or devil on my shoulder, whatever you will, who was the—well, what about this point of view? What if? Wouldn’t this type of—wouldn’t someone say, well, living forever would be amazing, because you could share that type of science with other people, and you could, you know, have these wonderful medical advances or, you know, things like that? I could then have other characters essentially embody those, those other points of view as well. Although, I’m really glad that you say that in your reading experience, you still weren’t quite sure what she wanted, because I definitely didn’t want, you know—I mean, no, no author wants characters to just be symbols for points of view.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Oh yeah, no, absolutely not. And I should say that I know that she wants to reverse this. That’s never in question. But this sort of—there—you’re always aware of the question of what does she really want? Because that’s kind of only part of it to want…
Casey Scieszka
Right.
KJ Dell’Antonia
An end to this pain, but, but why and what other alternatives there are. And then, of course, I just—I did not know how you were going to end it. I could not imagine how you were going to land that plane. It must have been a tough one. Did you always know where you were going? We will not in any way spoil this.
Casey Scieszka
Right. No spoilers.
KJ Dell’Antonia
No, no spoilers.
Casey Scieszka
I’d say that about halfway through my first draft, I just saw the ending. I was like, “Oh, this is…”
KJ Dell’Antonia
That’s amazing.
Casey Scieszka
This is like that very last moment. I was like, this is where I need to get. And those handful of chapters before the penultimate one, whoa, boy, those were the ones that are like I wrote, like seven different books, you know?
KJ Dell’Antonia
Oh yeah.
Casey Scieszka
Completely different versions to actually get there.
KJ Dell’Antonia
So what was your… what’s your hope for the reader experience of this book? Besides, you know vast entertainment and pressing it into the hands of their friends.
Casey Scieszka
Right. Naturally.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah…
Casey Scieszka
Beyond that…
KJ Dell’Antonia
We love that.
Casey Scieszka
Um, I mean, I love books that essentially look at what it means to be human and what makes a life worth living. And those are the type of questions that I hope someone would then linger on in their own life after putting down the book. Even in between chapters, you know? That you would be able to reflect on the choices that each character is making and think, like, oh, I would do this. I wouldn’t do that. Or, you know, to kind of just bring that back into your own life that way. Because… I don’t know. Time is perspective, like ever—what is—what does it mean to live forever? What is a long life? Is it? You know, when you’re when you’re little, a summer lasts an eternity. I guess what I’m saying is like our perspective of time is always bendy, and that was an interesting challenge in trying to write a 214 year old woman, where it was very tempting to just turn her into a superhero, where I’d be like, “Oh, well, she’d know 10 language.”
KJ Dell’Antonia
She’d know things, yeah.
Casey Scieszka
And she’d be like, amazing at all these things. And I had to be like, Casey, you have a lot of time on your hands as well. Like, you’re, you know, you’re 40 years old. And do you know 10 languages? Do you know five languages? Like, what are, like what are we talking about here?
KJ Dell’Antonia
On that ratio you should at least know two. (laughing) Uh, maybe three. If we’re going to say 200 is 10… you know you got, yeah, you should have at least two.
Casey Scieszka
Exactly. So just kind of examining, like, why would I—why would I have expectation, different expectations for someone simply because they’ve lived longer, and, you know, those types of things?
KJ Dell’Antonia
So you mentioned that you had a bunch of books in a drawer. So what’s bigger about this project than maybe the thing that you put aside to focus on it? Is it bigger?
Casey Scieszka
I don’t know if it’s bigger. I think I just had, I had better tools in my toolbox at this point. Like I might return to that other one, but I didn’t have the full heart of the question I was getting at there. I think I had more of a premise, or something like that. Whereas this one, when I was writing, I felt like the problem was I had own—like in the writing was like I had too much meat, I had so many questions, I had so much I was wrestling with. And then it also really helped that, I mean, it’s, its set in a small town in the Catskills, and, spoiler alert, that’s the type of place that I now live.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Right.
Casey Scieszka
And knew. People always tell you like, write what you know. I am, I am not, secretly, 214 years old. I know you can’t see me on camera, guys.
Multiple Speakers
(both laughing)
Casey Scieszka
My skin’s not that great for a… you know? But, but I do know what small-town life is in the Catskills. I do—there are some characters who are opening up a business. I know what it’s like to open a business. Like, it was really fun for me. I felt like I had this endless well of inspiration to keep pulling from that way. And that was something I couldn’t have written 10 years before. You know?
KJ Dell’Antonia
You also handled the depth of the questions that you’re dealing with remarkably tightly. Did you have to clear away a lot of like… asking for a friend…(laughing). Did you have to clear away a lot of mulling over these questions by people or? I guess what I’m getting at is these are really deep and big questions, like you said, but I don’t feel—you did not Atlas Shrugged these. You know, there’s not like a 20-page dissertation by John Galt in the middle of it. How hard was it to keep that from happening? Or did it come a little more easily for you?
Casey Scieszka
I think, nothing, nothing, none of it comes easily. We know this.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah.
Casey Scieszka
I mean, sometimes you reach the flow state, you know? And it is funny to even think back on these things, because I have a, like, a willful blindness, almost in the same way that, like, I have given birth to two children, and, like, I can’t believe I did it a second time, you know? But it’s by, you know, it’s by design, some—perhaps similar with writing. Once you know how the sausage is made, sometimes it can be hard to do again. But anyway, all of this is to go back and actually answer your question. I was very wary of doing the… this is how I feel about something info dump. And one of the things that my agent as an editor has been helpful with from early drafts was, how can you reveal these things in action? So anytime I was tempted to just start explaining things, I was like, Casey, is this happening in action? Like, is this a character actually finding something out? Like from another character in a natural way. So that…
KJ Dell’Antonia
That’s a great question.Casey Scieszka
Right. That really, that really helped me. And then also sometimes with the writing I did, just let myself write a whole bunch, you know, because sometimes, especially if you know it’s the beginning of your writing day, maybe it’s, it’s that equivalent of the throat clearing—you’re just or the dog who’s doing circles before they sit down, like you’re, you’re getting around to the thing that you actually want to say. And then when you re read it, you’re like, “Oh, well, those first four paragraphs can go, and here’s where I actually start to say…”KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah, here’s what i meant to say.
Casey Scieszka
Yeah. Yeah.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Take this. Put it up at the front— delayed all this. Yeah. No. I get it. So how long did this take you?
Casey Scieszka
Well, I started the short story in 2021 and then it comes out now. I will say we had, like; everything was in the can, if you will, at least, like a year and a half ago, just kind of waiting for this springtime pub date. But, yeah, it’s a journey. That’s a—I feel, you know, like another thing you don’t want to hear when you’re like, 25 and are like, I’m going to write a book, and you hear an interview with someone who’s like, it took me 10 years, and I was like, my god. And I’m like, well, girl.
KJ Dell’Antonia
I can do it faster than that.
Casey Scieszka
This one is five years. But…
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah, yeah, no, it takes, it takes a long time, and it’s hard, and it takes a lot of painful thinking, and yeah, all of those things are true. So now, now that you can look back at this project with hopefully a little bit of distance, and you’re about to be talking about it a lot, I suspect. What do you love most about it?
Casey Scieszka
Ooh. I love most that these characters feel so real to me still that I sometimes catch myself wondering, like, what they’re doing. You know?
KJ Dell’Antonia
That’s amazing.
Casey Scieszka
Like I lived with them, and I just, I’m so excited that I actually, like made—was able to make that for, you know, not just myself, though, that I surely entertained myself in the process. But it is such a humbling dream that this story is now existing in other people’s brains, that these are characters who have felt real to other people as well.
KJ Dell’Antonia
What, as you look back, what would you say was the hardest part of the process?
Casey Scieszka
Aside from all of the waiting?!
KJ Dell’Antonia
All of it! Aside from all of it.
Casey Scieszka
Which felt like…
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah I was going to say aside from…
Casey Scieszka
It felt eternal.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah. Yeah.
Multiple Speakers
(both laughing)
Casey Scieszka
I think the very hardest part is early on, when you don’t know—well, the earliest, earliest is delightful, because you’re in just your little creative cocoon, and you’re having these wonderful ideas, and you don’t have to solve any of the plot problems yet, or things like that. You know, you’re just like being your own little creative genius for yourself. But then it’s I feel like that, that first real revision phase when you don’t know fully if this is actually going to become a book where you’re—and time, you know, to talk about time again, is precious, like I, you know, I run this other hotel. It’s open half the year. But when I began it, it was open seven days a week, all year long; I had two children under the age of four at the time. Like, time was precious. I was writing during nap time, like things were being sacrificed in order for me to do this. And it is. It just feels audacious and possibly insane to be doing it when you’re in it, and when you’re on the other side, you’re like, oh, but the road was always pointing here, and you just, you just don’t know that when you’re in it.
KJ Dell’Antonia
No.
Casey Scieszka
Yeah.
KJ Dell’Antonia
You could easily have, really think, you know, you could easily still be sitting on this going, well, I’m going to finish this…
Casey Scieszka
Exactly. And, you know…
KJ Dell’Antonia
When the kids are… you know… or whatever.
Casey Scieszka
Yeah, exactly I have these other, you know, unfinished or manuscripts that haven’t seen the light of day. But, at this point, I tell myself, and I 99.9999% believe it that those were necessary to write in order to write this.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah, I sure hope so.
Multiple Speakers
(both laughing)
Casey Scieszka
There’s just that other point 0.0001 that’s like—
KJ Dell’Antonia
What?!
Casey Scieszka
Yeah, it’s like, no, no, it really was necessary.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah, no, you have to. You have to do it. Well, I hate to be, you know, not trying to raise the bar here, but, but what is next after, you know, a topic like this and a big book like, like this? Do you know yet? Are you, are you thinking about it? Where are you in your process?
Casey Scieszka
I have been working on something else which is fun. And I definitely have, like, you know, while as much as I know how, how wild it is with how the sausage is made and what I’m, you know, the many revisions and things I’m looking down the barrel at, I also have another level of excitement, because I know, like, wow, I have an agent this time who’s actually excited to read it, and I have a working relationship with an editor. Like, I’m trying to appreciate that…
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah, because it’s what you wanted before.
Casey Scieszka
And it can be so easy to just, you know, slip back into the like; you know, I don’t know, the chaos feelings. But, I will say, I’m not going to say much about the project, other than historically, for everything I’ve ever been drawn to, and including stuff I love to read. I always love when character, when there’s a character who knows like way too much or way too little, like in their situation.
KJ Dell’Antonia
That’s a very like tempting pitch without having anything you’d like to put your fingers in.
Casey Scieszka
Without…
KJ Dell’Antonia
That’s good. That’s good, that’s clever.
Casey Scieszka
I told you nothing.
KJ Dell’Antonia
You told me nothing, and yet I’m like, ooh yeah, that does sound… that does sound interesting. Well, I as I’ve as I’ve said I wholeheartedly enjoyed this. It was twisty. You had me thinking things that were not what was so at many, many points of the book.
Casey Scieszka
I love to hear this. Love to hear.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah and when we are off, off recording, I’ll tell you some of them, because that is always kind of fun. I really feel like this book is such an achievement. For someone who’s just getting started, it’s great. I can’t wait to see what you do next. And I guess, on that note, what’s something you have read recently where you also felt like the writer was, was really big, really playing big. Is there anything that you would like to press on into people’s hands the way I want to press The Fountain, into their hands?
Casey Scieszka
I’ve loved this. Thank you again. One book I keep pressing into many people’s hands is Open Throat by Henry Hoke.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Okay.
Casey Scieszka
It’s very slim. You can read it in like a day, although I recommend taking a little bit longer, because you’ll want to enjoy it. It is told from the point of view of a mountain lion who lives under the Hollywood sign.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Oh, I—I think I’ve heard the description, even if I don’t remember the—okay.
Casey Scieszka
It’s so funny and so deeply tender, like and just unlike anything I’ve read recently, and I just really felt like, like he was swinging for the fences with this, like it’s from the point of view of an animal, which should be ridiculous, but after…
KJ Dell’Antonia
And not just an animal, but an animal that lives under the Hollywood sign.
Casey Scieszka
Yeah, like that’s a mountain lion who’s—it open up or he’s overhearing like you know hikers discussing therapist, you know? It’s just, it’s so silly, but it’s also so deep and kind of truly experimental, but still so accessible and I just feel like it’s the type of thing that I don’t know. Maybe when he sat down to write it, he was like, this, someone’s going to tell me, I’m nuts, but I just connected with it so much.
KJ Dell’Antonia
I…yeah. Alright I love that then, and that is a great response to the question, because that really is somebody else swinging for the fences, and that’s what we’re just trying to talk about here for everyone. So where? Well, listeners can find you, obviously they can, they can buy The Fountain,, and they should. You’re inn is called?
Casey Scieszka
The Spruceton Inn, a Catskills Bed & Bar. We’re a little nine-room hotel.
KJ Dell’Antonia
(laughing) Bed and bar. That’s awesome.
Casey Scieszka
Yeah. I mean, I don’t, I don’t really mess with breakfast. I mean, you get very nice coffee and some pop tarts. I love a good highbrow, lowbrow, and we are five miles down a seven mile dead end road in the middle of the mountains.KJ Dell’Antonia
Okay, I love this for everyone. And is there any particular social media where you are fun and joyful?
Casey Scieszka
Yeah, you can find us on Instagram at sprucetoninn. That’s also like some writing stuff and same with Substack. Only other thing I’ll say about the inn is we also run an artist residency program, an annual one. So every August we open it up to folks, writers, 2D artists. Basically, if you can make it in a motel room without disturbing your neighbors, come on and make it with us, and you get, you get, like, a week-long stay. No cost, in the month of November.
KJ Dell’Antonia
That is so fun and so cool. And I bet you’re going to get a lot more applications than you can handle this time around. Alright, well, thank you so much for spending this time with me.
Casey Scieszka
Thank you so much for chatting.
KJ Dell’Antonia
And amazing best of luck with the book, which I loved. All right, kids, I’m signing this off with our new sign off. Until next time, stop playing small and write like it matters.
Narrator
The Hashtag AmWriting Podcast is produced by Andrew Perrella. Our intro music, aptly titled, Unemployed Monday, was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for their work.



This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

In this Write Big episode, Jennie Nash is joined by AJ Harper, author of Write a Must-Read: Craft a Book That Changes Lives—Including Your Own, to talk about a more meaningful way to define success as a writer. AJ shares her concept of writing a “Top Three” book—one that becomes a reader’s personal favorite, the kind they keep forever, recommend constantly, and return to again and again. Together they explore why chasing external metrics like speed, bestseller lists, or book deals can distract from what really matters, and how focusing on writing something truly beloved often leads to those wins anyway. Links from the Pod:
Ep 416: The Art of Helping Writers Do Their Best Work, with AJ Harper
Write a Must-Read, AJ Harper
Love Medicine, Louise Erdrich
The War of Art, Steven Pressfield



This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

Hello and welcome to Nerd Corner with Sarina and Jess! I love these episodes because I will never, ever know as much about the publishing industry as Sarina Bowen, and I learn so much from her. This week, she answers a question she got from a listener, paraphrased thusly:
Dear Sarina, I want to support you and your work, so which format of your books do you profit from most?
The fact that we live in a world where any reader is interested in the answer to this question soothes my troubled soul.
So let’s break it down: hardcover, paperback, audio, ebook? What about borrowing from the library? What about subscription services such as Kindle Unlimited?
Here are a few helpful links that expand on the topics we discuss in this episode:
The Top Five Reasons Pre-Orders Matter


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

In this Write Big session, Jennie Nash talks with podcast co-host Sarina Bowen about what it really feels like to finish a book—especially the anxiety and pressure that can come with “finishing energy.” Sarina shares a powerful mindset shift: there is no summit in a writing career. You may reach the end of a draft (or even launch day), but the work doesn’t magically get easier—there’s always another book. The key, she says, is learning to love the hike itself and stay connected to your curiosity so you can keep showing up.


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

Our Goals for 2026:
Jess is gonna finish a novel.
Sarina is going to figure out what she wants a long haul writer career to looks like.
KJ is going to write this book as hard as she can and for as long as it takes.
Jennie is going to claim her authority in the writing space.
Our Words of the Year are …
Meanwhile: Fan of Heated Rivalry? You’ll want to read these books by Sarina Bowen!
Ready to talk about your own goals and words? COME ON IN. We are here for that!

Hey - if you’ve been curious about becoming a book coach, Jennie’d like to invite you to a live training she’s doing on February 4th, at 5pm PST / 8pm EST. She’s going to be talking about how to become the kind of book coach writers love to pay. You can sign up at bookcoaches.com/live
WOTYs … in the episode! If you want to know what was so funny, you’ll have to listen.
Transcript Below!
If you love us enough that you got this far…

SPONSORSHIP MESSAGE
Hey, it’s Jennie Nash, and if you’ve been curious about becoming a book coach, I’d like to invite you to a live training I’m going to be doing on February 4th, at 5pm PST, which is 8pm EST, and I’m going to be talking about how to become the kind of book coach writers love to pay. You can sign up for that at bookcoaches.com/live. That’s bookcoaches.com/live. (bookcoaches.com/live) I’d love to see you there.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Jennie Nash
Hey everyone, it’s Jennie, and this is the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast, the place where we help you play big in your writing life, love the process, and finish what matters. All four of us are here today to talk about our Word of the Year for 2026 and our goals. This is one of our favorite episodes to do, and we’ve all been kicking our words around, and we’re ready to share them with you. So Sarina, do you want to go first?
Sarina Bowen
Okay!
Jennie Nash
I just know you are kind of ready.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Right off the diving board. No throat clearing, no chit chat. Yeah, we’re just alrighty.
Sarina Bowen
All right, so I’m Sarina, and I write novels, and pretty much that is all I write. So my goals tend to look kind of the same from year to year, but my, but how I feel about them, changes. So in 2026 I plan to write two to three books, and when I do, I will be rolling off of two contracts with two different publishers. So that means that the other part of my 2026 is really asking myself what I want to do next. Because, you know, finishing energy is a really hard thing, but I’ll be like extra super finishing energy here, because I’m finishing a commitment. And, you know, I used to have goals, like, I’m going to write more books. I’m going to write all the books. And I don’t anymore, because there were, there was a while there where I only wrote books, and then last year, I did a really nice job of meeting my goals that I would also go and have more fun and take more vacations. And it worked. I did that. It turns out that planning fun takes a lot of energy and time. Oh my goodness, it was I, you know, I so I was either off having a wild time, or I was like, you know, nailed to my desk, and, yeah, so I need to do a slightly better job of that this year. Although looking at the schedule, it’s a little hard to see how, because I’m spending a big chunk of March and part of April in Australia and Hong Kong, and then...
Jennie Nash
Wait you can’t just throw that in and not say why. [laughing]
Sarina Bowen
Oh, well, I’m, I’m visiting. I’m doing four reader events in Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and Perth.
Jennie Nash
It’s so exciting, so exciting.
Sarina Bowen
And you know, time will tell if accepting this invitation was, in fact, a good idea. When I get home, I will be—it’ll be June, and I will be launching my second book of 2026, which is a romance and so, but, but then, you know, I will have turned in half of what I’m turning in this year, and I will be able to have big thoughts about what I do next. And that is the thing that is going to be hard about this year, not turning in files, but, you know, deciding what does it mean to me? And also a thing that I realized last year, while balancing my busy life is that in this job, there is no summit. It’s not like you climb that big hill and then you stand there and you hear an angel choir, and then you know that the only thing that greets you after writing a big novel is that you will pretty soon, eventually write another one. So you have to enjoy the hike itself. And I am really working on that.
Jess Lahey
I actually have just—I have just to address what you just mentioned Sarina, I have put in my calendar in June. Since we love to—I happen to love the mid-year check-ins on goals. I put a little note to self, to future Jess to revisit Sarina’s goals at mid-year so that we can talk about maybe what that second half of the year, what comes next, stuff is going to look like. So, expect that to come back around.
Sarina Bowen
Okay, I hope there’s some clarity by then, so I’ll get right on that.
Jess Lahey
Well, and I would also like to mention that you mentioned, you know, all the work you’re doing and doing fun and stuff like that. You also went back to skating this year, and you, I have loved watching you learn, relearn something fairly new, and gain skills and get determined to like, be able to do that. What’s it called, when you change the side of the blade you’re on? When you turn?
Sarina Bowen
Yeah, all that edge work...
Jess Lahey
It’s very exciting.
Sarina Bowen
And those three turns. Yeah. So that is part of my leave the house and have fun plan, and that has worked out really well. It—when you do something that’s so outside of your usual, like, we could just stipulate by now that I’m pretty good at writing a novel, because I have turned in a number of them and sold a number of them, but I am really not good at skating. So when you take yourself so far out of your element, and you do something that is so foreign to you, you learn, relearn all those weird little tricks about how you learned anything, and the fact that last year I could not do a three turn to save my life, which is where you turn around on one foot. And I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried to trick myself into it. And I’m like, okay, I’ll take off on two feet, but land on one. I just every single thing didn’t work. And then this year, now I can do it. And also, I woke up at four in the morning once and thought I could do a waltz jump tomorrow, and then the next day I did, in fact, just do a waltz jump. And I hadn’t even been thinking about it. It wasn’t even on my list of things I was going to try that week. So learning something really, really new is really just great for your brain and your attitude. And I don’t know what the next thing that I do like that will be, but, yeah, I’m a fan.
Jennie Nash
But I must reflect back to you that a few years ago, you were, I think the goals had to you were working so hard and just, you know, book to book to book to book and, like, look at you now .You’re going on all these trips, and you’re learning to ice skate, and I know you and KJ are learning Mahjong.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Mahjong, yes.
Jennie Nash
And you write in coffee shops like, you’ve kind of really changed that, that vibe. It’s cool.
Sarina Bowen
I have! I did it right? Like I said, I’m going to have more fun. I’m going to learn to write out of the house. Like I sat in a room and said to you that this was going to happen. And I did, right? But the, but then, but then, writing the actual books, it magically did not get easier. So I am having more fun, but it’s still hard, and that’s how I’m coming to this new realization that, like you know, I need to stop being surprised that the actual job is hard, but it’s just like a piece of the fun that I’m having, and if and I can only write books that I’m probably going to enjoy, because it’s still hard and it still takes a lot of hours.
Jennie Nash
That’s amazing. I feel compelled to ask you, what are you most enjoying about what you’re writing right now?
Sarina Bowen
Well we are at maximum finishing energy, because I am finishing a revision, which is scary, right? Because then you’re sending it off into the world of telling yourself that it’s done. And I have to say, I have not enjoyed it all that much. This has been one of the more one of the more stressful weeks. But, yeah, I—but there are moments as I look through this manuscript, because I’ve just reached that point where you hate every living word of it, right? Where I read a line and I laugh, and then that’s just a good sign.
Jennie Nash
Like I’m so clever, look at me.
Multiple Speakers
[all laughing]
Jess Lahey
I actually just, just for fun. I just dropped—I got to go—I traveled an hour and a half to go so that I could go sit in a coffee shop and work with these guys, because I miss them so much. And I took two pictures of Sarina while she was working there, and in one, she had this look on her face... I just dropped it in our group text just now, where she’s got this look on her face like this is the hardest, worst thing I’ve ever done. And then I also took one of her smiling and looking like her usual happy self. But it was—I love having those two pictures together on my phone, because it’s so representative of the slog. How there are these moments of really having fun and engaging with the book and loving it, and then there’s those moments of editing where you’re trying to just finish it and get all the words in the right order.
Sarina Bowen
Yep, it’s, it’s, you know that the push and pull and the trick to liking this job is that when you’re in that trench of I have to be finished with this. I have to love it, and I have to set it free. You have to remember that the other side is out there. That like the drafting happy, I haven’t made any big mistakes yet, I haven’t sealed off all the x’s yet, like that’s waiting for you on the other side of it. You know, if you get too deep in one place or the other, so that you can’t remember, the other one is out there for you. Then, then that’s a trap. It makes the job harder.
Jennie Nash
Well, thank you for that. Jess, do you want to go next?
Jess Lahey
Sure! Yeah, so last year, last year was weird. Last year, my, my, I’m going a little bit into what my word was last year; it was ‘amplified’ because it led, it sort of guided a lot of my goals last year, which had to do with just reaching more people, but during the year, during the course of the year, reaching and educating more people on the topics that I feel really strongly about, like mental health wellness, the specifically substance use prevention, as it relates to things like self-efficacy in kids and feelings of competence in kids. I realized sort of part way through the year how much more I was enjoying and feeling engaged when I was talking to the kids, and how much more impactful I felt when I was talking to the kids, and that shouldn’t be surprising. But, if you’re not a speaker, and if you don’t spend your time speaking to adults and kids and especially teens, you should know it takes, you know, maybe three to four times as much energy to talk to the kids as it does to the adults. In fact, yesterday, I was trying to explain to someone why a virtual event to a lot of kids, doesn’t work. I can’t project that much energy through a screen to captivate a big room of kids. It’s just it’s really hard to do. And anyway, so I realized about halfway through the year that I really wanted when I when I thought about the word amplify and expanding on the number of kids that I reach per year, and the depth to which I am able to reach some kids in particular, it comes it comes down to not just people, but just kids specifically. So I talked with my agents, and we’ve agreed that I’m going to try to incorporate more kids this year. That even if it’s more exhausting for me, it’s more fulfilling, and so that’s one of my big goals for this year, is to figure out how—yes, I still have to talk to adults, and I have to help them understand how to talk to their kids about substance use and mental health and how to see, know, love, support the kids you have, and not the kids you wish you had and all that stuff. But when it comes down to it, I have to figure out ways to get in the room with kids more and...
KJ Dell’Antonia
You’re a kid-travert!
Jess Lahey
[laughing] Apparently.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Which some people get their energy from being with people, and some people get, you know, it takes—that’s extroverts and introverts. So you’re a kid-travert, you get your energy from talking to kids. That’s delightful!
Jess Lahey
It’s in the moment. In the moment, it’s much more exhausting. But there was a—I spoke at a school in Los Angeles. It was one of the best days I had in front of kids. And the number of emails I got afterwards explaining why it was meaningful to them. You know, I love when the kids, anytime a kid reaches out, it’s this huge honor, because, you know, I’m, who am I? I’m some adult that comes into their school because their teachers say that, and now their teachers say they have to listen to this bozo. They don’t know who this person is. But over time, I’ve figured out ways to help them trust me a little bit more, even before I get there. Like creating these videos where I introduce myself ahead of time. So I’m trying to figure out all the ways in to getting being a trusted adult, becoming a trusted adult to more and more kids, is something that’s incredibly important to me, because that’s where the great education stuff lies. So that amplify word changed for me over last year, and it’s reflected in this year’s goals as well, which is, get in front of more kids. I track those numbers really carefully. Last year, I was in front of just shy of 10,000 people generally, and a couple of 1000 kids. And I just want to change that ratio a little bit so that it’s have more heavily in the kid direction and less heavily in the adult direction. Just because it’s fun and really interesting and challenging. That’s the other thing is, when you’ve been doing something for a long time, there are some talks I can do in my sleep, because I’ve done them so many times, and I don’t want to do that, like, why would you want to come and spend time with someone who’s asleep in front of you? But you know, they look good and it sounds good, but they’re not totally invested. And I think everybody can feel that. So I’ve had to find ways to change things up, to reevaluate my content from other angles, so that I’m not getting sick of myself, and so that I can be fresh and new and useful to people. So, and then, like, I have small goals, you know, Sarina was just talking about her skating and looking, you know, trying to do something completely new that makes you a little nervous. You know, the beekeeping thing still makes me super nervous. And as I mentioned in another episode, I think Tim saw me emotionally preparing to do something I needed to do with the bees and he said I have never seen you so nervous and so doubting yourself about your ability to do something, and I realized how good that is for me. And so we will see at the end of this winter if my bees actually made it through the winter, and if they did, I’ll have a hive of bees to deal with, and if they don’t, I’ll have to get a new hive. But that’s been really, really good for me. Sarina, did you want to add something?
Sarina Bowen
I have a question.
Jess Lahey
Yes, ma’am.
Sarina Bowen
Do we have a writing goal for this year?
Jess Lahey
Yes, we do. And that’s actually at the bottom of my list, because it’s new. So I’ve been attending this weekly, really interesting virtual Blueprint for a Book Fast Track. What is it? Jumpstart you guys? With Jennie Nash, this really great book coach and founder of Author Accelerator, and KJ Dell’Antonia and I have been actually writing—working on this novel that I’ve been working on for ages and ages and ages and thinking about at a minimum once a week, and I’m going to finish it this year. 100% I’m going to finish it this year. And I’m really grateful to Jennie and KJ, because being in that, in—being in there, is forcing me to ask me all kinds of questions about, why am I even bothering to stick with this thing that has stymied me for over a decade? Like, why bother if it’s been that hard and I haven’t ever gotten it done, why am I even doing it? And I love asking myself those questions. It’s been really fun. Plus, there’s like 100 other people in that virtual session asking themselves the same questions and coming up with really cool answers for why they’re even writing something in the first place. And it gets at all these fundamental questions of why we do what we do. So yes, I will be, I’m researching a nonfiction thing still. I have a—I’m looking at a stack of books behind me, and but I’m going to finish this YA novel this year period, full stop, it’s going to happen.
.
Multiple Speakers
[Unintelligible] [several speaking at once]
Jennie Nash
Well what’s cool is, is, I mean, YA is not children, but it’s young people. So that’s kind of cool. It goes with your other thing.
KJ Dell’Antonia
There’s a trend there.
Jess Lahey
Yeah. And it was funny, because when you were asking the why the other night, and one of my things was, oh, because these characters speak to me, blah, blah, blah. And KJ mentioned, oh, I do know what Jess is talking about. And maybe it’s, you know, she wants to write a coming of age story, and that’s 100% it. I think I have, I have. I very much love that coming of age space and the struggles that middle school and high school kids go through in that coming of age space. And I think I have an interesting insight into it, and an ability to, an ability to make it come alive on the page. And I, for me, really want to do that. I really want to see it on the page, and I’m really excited about it.
Jennie Nash
You do have such a compassion for that age and what people are going through and how hard it is and it’s...
Jess Lahey
And I love these characters. And I said I love these characters, and I want to do right by them. And that’s true too. I do love these characters, and I can’t stop thinking about them.
Sarina Bowen
That is the best reason to finish any piece of fiction. You know?
Jess Lahey
Yeah, no, I really it’s like they’re stuck until I help them get to the other side. And I would hate to leave them there. I would it would make me feel really bad.
Jennie Nash
I love it. Well you know, committing to something that you’ve been working on for that long, that’s a that’s a big deal.
Jess Lahey
Yeah, it’s also one of those. I know it’s going to feel really, really good when I finish it. It’ll be like, oh my gosh, I’ve been harping on that for whatever it is now 12 or 13 years, and I finally finished it. So I know it’s going to be one of those. I’m going to be very, very glad I did it when it’s done. And is it super hard? Yes, I’ve, you know, bitched and moaned about this in the past, that fiction is really hard for me and dialog is so hard for me, but that’s what I’m writing right now.
Jennie Nash
That’s another, another learning edge, right?
Jess Lahey
Yep. Yep.
Jennie Nash
Awesome. KJ, what about you?
KJ Dell’Antonia
My only goal this year with respect to writing is to write this book as hard as I can for as long as it takes. That’s all I got. I got a couple other goals. I’d like to get my Christmas tree down at some point during the year. It seems like a plan. I was pretty excited about the Valentine’s Day concept a few years ago, but I don’t know, people have been really negging on it. Easter also, apparently not tree material. I mean, come on the fourth? I’m seeing it. No one else is. So there’s that. No, my and my big life goal is to leave more white space for myself in my day and in my calendar, to do things, to not do things, and for the unexpected things, both good and bad things. I have a real tendency to be like from 11:30 to one I’m doing this, and from 1:30 to 2:30 there’s this, and hey, at three there’s this. And that is, in fact, an excellent description of my day. And sometimes I like it, but I just do it to myself constantly, and I need to stop.
Multiple Speakers
[all laughing]
Jennie Nash
That’s all? Okay. Mic drop. I’m just thinking about that white space. What? What happens when you have white space?
Sarina Bowen
You know what happens to me when I have white space, because I’m actually pretty good at keeping it in my calendar, is that I get an email that’s like, and today, we will be choosing among these eight narrator auditions. And then you will decide who is the narrator for this book that you haven’t been thinking about for four months since you last did the copy edits, and then my whole day just explodes in a little puff of admin, like trying to get out of my own inbox is killing me. So, yeah, I don’t, I don’t. It’s not even that I planned it. Other people are making this my, my problem, and I wish I had a 2026, goal for how to fix it.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Yeah, there’s that. I mean, to some extent, I think that’s my point. Is that I would like to stop doing it to myself, because I mean it through exactly the thing it is was not my was not my idea, nor was the thing, the unexpected event at eight o’clock this this morning, or the one when I walked in from the expected thing from nine to 10. I need to do a little less of it for myself, to allow for the fact that the other things in my life, I think, and I did this to some extent last year too. My final kids have actually all left for college this year, which is great, but there’s still a lot of trouble. And also I have a lot of pets, and also just, there’s a lot going on. So I sort of thought, and I really made this mistake in the Fall pretty hard. I thought, oh, I should probably fill like I should put some things on the calendar because I might feel sad. A, I still felt sad, and that was okay. And B, I put way too much on the calendar, given the number, amount of time I had to spend on... I’m just yeah, and here I am thinking I didn’t do it in the spring, and I didn’t, but I sort of am doing it on a daily basis, like, oh, look. And some of that is just that this was, what am I wrong? Was this the longest holiday season ever in the history of holiday season? Like it was still Christmas on January 17, I swear to God. And so a lot of it, I think, is I’m feeling a little dejected, because my days are really packed, because I had the sense not to put everything in the week of January 6, but I put a lot of things this week and last week. So hopefully I’ll, but, but having done that, and now feeling it, I think, I hope, will inspire me to block off more time that, no doubt, will get filled with things. But that’s better than it getting filled with things and my having already filled it.
Jennie Nash
Yep.
KJ Dell’Antonia
It’s not going so great.
Jennie Nash
I get that. Okay, so, so for me, I made some really big moves in my business in 2025 and they worked, and that was great. And I made a decision toward the end of the year to make even bigger moves, and did some thinking about, I wouldn’t say, an exit strategy or a succession plan, but I’m 62 this year, and I’m working really, really, really hard in my business day to day, running, you know, pretty big small business, and I really want more time to create. To create curriculum, to, I just like making things. You know, to work on the podcast, to work on my own book, and I’ll talk about that in a minute. And so I made a training plan to teach my team to take over the things that they are fully capable of taking over, if I just get it out of my head and onto a page to teach them how to do it. So it’s a really big move for me, and kind of a terrifying move. It means trusting people. It means handing over some things. It means there’s some ego-y things involved in that, the idea that nobody can do it as well as I can. And so, yeah, that’s, that’s big. It’s big mindset. It’s big actual shifting of duties. It’s, it’s kind of the white space idea writ large. What, what would it look like for me to have more white space? And it is, it is not retiring, it’s not stopping. It’s just, can I do more of what I want to do and less of the—of the day to day of this business? I am constantly surprised by the thing I have made. Author Accelerator has more than 375 certified book coaches now, and it’s this huge community, and they’re having a huge impact. And a lot of my coaches are becoming huge their own selves and doing really well, and just we’re becoming known. And all of that takes time to manage, like the, I don’t know, I wouldn’t call it the brand, it’s, it’s the community. It just takes a lot of time to manage and the kinds of inquiries that we get and that sort of thing. And I, it’s a thing that needs care, and I’m the one to give it that care. So just meeting the moment, I guess, is what my goal is for the year, and as part of that, the Write Big Sessions that I’ve been doing here at the podcast are my stepping into that space of thought leadership and creation, content creation in a different way. And haven’t talked about this a lot, but I am writing a Write Big book, and I went out and found myself a brand new agent. I did my search from scratch. I did it cold. I tried to find the perfect agent for this book, rather than somebody that I knew, because I know a lot of agents, and I don’t want to, I don’t want to talk about a lot of specifics at the moment about who that person is, or what’s happening really, but I will say that it’s taken a little minute to get it together, because that’s how it happens sometimes. But the book is out on submission, even as we speak, and I was telling KJ, this agent does something that I’ve never heard of and never seen, and I love it so much, which is that she shares a spreadsheet of the submissions and puts the responses right in there so I can log in, you know, 10, 12, 25 times a day and...
Multiple Speakers
[all laughing]
KJ Dell’Antonia
Just normal, healthy behavior, right?
Jennie Nash
Which is so fantastic. Rather than, like, why isn’t she telling me, or how come we haven’t heard or whatever? But it’s very, very early days, and so all that’s coming in are the no’s, because that’s, that’s what happens. But the no’s are so great. I love them so much. They’re totally boosting me up. Because, like, people know me. They know my work. They like my work. Like I, I don’t know. I’m just so delighted by the nature and quality of the no’s, which is just a funny place to be, but that is, that is where I am so...
Sarina Bowen
Jennie, it’s a fantastic place to be. Like I have never heard another author say the no’s make me happy. Like that is not a sentence I have heard in my life. And I know a lot of authors, so the fact that you know that that’s, I just have good, good feelings and good thoughts about this project, and you are amazing.
Jennie Nash
Well, thank you. And that is not by accident. That’s what Writing Big means, right? It’s like I own this idea. I’m not waiting to be picked; I’m not waiting to be anointed. I’m not waiting for somebody to say, you know, good job. But, when they do, and you know, these no’s are just indications, like I self-published the Blueprint Books and I sort of think of them as this little thing that I made. I made them for my coaches to use in their coaching, and I made them to, it’s a model that I teach. I didn’t ever think of it as a thing, but I’ve sold more than 20,000 copies of the Blueprint Books my own self, and, but I just didn’t think like editors would know what they are. They would use them with their own authors. They would know my company. They would know my coaches, and that’s what all the no’s are showing me. And that I’m just, I’m just like, when do you get a mirror into your impact? It feels like the no’s a mirror into my impact, and I feel, I feel like there’s no doubt that something great is going to happen with this book. I have no doubt. So bring on the no’s and have them be awesome, because I know good things, great things are coming, and whether, who knows what path that is going to be, but that, that is where I am, and that sharing of the spreadsheet that this agent has done is just feeding right into, I mean, for other people, it might be the biggest disaster in the world, but for me, I’m like, this is so fun. I love it. My goal is for the year to lean into this bigger vision of what I can be.
KJ Dell’Antonia
That’s a good goal.
Jennie Nash
Thank you. Well, I’m going to share my word first, because it just goes so well with what I’ve just been saying, and it’s so obvious, and it’s so great. And my word of the year is ‘play big’. Play big.
KJ Dell’Antonia
That’s two words.
Jess Lahey
That’s two words.
Sarina Bowen
I get two words.
KJ Dell’Antonia
She’s allowed to have two words because she’s playing big.
Multiple Speakers
[all laughing]
Jennie Nash
All right, we have to go in reverse order then so KJ, what’s your, what’s your word?
KJ Dell’Antonia
Oh, my word of the year is, is ‘alive’.
Jess Lahey
Oh, dear. Okay, that’s a... quite a goal you got there missy.
KJ Dell’Antonia
It’s a good word... laughing
Jennie Nash
Can you explain?!
Sarina Bowen
She can’t, because she’s laughing really hard right now.
KJ Dell’Antonia
Um, it was going to be enthusiast, because I wanted to be sort of a welcoming both the challenges and the excitements of my life. But I really just feel like, and then it was going to be relish, but, but that’s pickles, and I hate them. And then I’m just, I just feel really good about just letting it all come and, and being a part of it.
Jennie Nash
Okay, good word.
Jess Lahey
Oh, Sarina?
Sarina Bowen
I’ve used a lot of the words.
Jess Lahey
Oh, not yet. Sorry.
KJ Dell’Antonia
She said, reverse order.
Jennie Nash
I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying.
Jess Lahey
Oh, she said, reverse order. That’s right.
Sarina Bowen
We have done this so many times, and we have never laughed all the way through it. Okay, okay.
Jess Lahey
KJ is right though we have used all of the words, I actually considered reusing one of my words this year, but then I thought maybe that was a cop out. So I did come up with a new word.
Sarina Bowen
I considered it, and then I was too lazy to go look them up.
Jess Lahey
That’s quite a statement there, Bowen.
Sarina Bowen
I know!
Multiple Speakers
[all laughing uncontrollably]
KJ Dell’Antonia
I know I had savor before, that was kind of where I was going, but...
Jennie Nash
I can’t stop laughing.
KJ Dell’Antonia
I don’t know I feel very gritty about my... [unintelligible]
Jennie Nash
I’m like snort laughing over here at the idea of I’m never going to not hear relish and pickles. [laughing uncontrollably]
Jess Lahey
I know, I know, I like it so much. I love it.
Sarina Bowen
Well, she really doesn’t like pickles. KJ is that friend where if she is served a pickle with her lunch, you can take it.
Jess Lahey
Yeah. Absolutely.
KJ Dell’Antonia
And the bit of bread that it touched.
Sarina Bowen
Okay Jess? Jess, I don’t know how you’re going to follow this, but do you have a word?
Jess Lahey
I do have a word, and I’m really excited about this word, because years ago, when I did a really cool conference in Abu Dhabi, I met this woman that I was shocked I hadn’t met before. But her name is Elke Govertsen, Elke, and she has a Substack. Her Substack is just, it’s @ Elke, is her. She managed to snag @ Elke. She has a newsletter. She has something called Open Nesting. She’s got older kids. Anyway, I subscribed to her Substack. I love it. She’s one of those people that when she walked down on stage to give her talk, she just glowed from inside, like she was one of those people that you just, I felt really drawn to. So I started following her and her year, her word for this year I really liked, although I thought about it in a different way than she did. Her word for the year is ‘allow’—a, l, l, o, w—and so that is my word for the year, to allow myself to do some things. For example, finishing this book, and just realizing, allowing myself to be really bad at it and hoping that I can pull it off, allowing myself to look really dumb doing stuff like the beekeeping, allowing myself some grace about the fact that I’m probably killed my bees this winter because they’re not insulated enough, all of the things. But I just really liked her word allow. So that’s where I am. That’s my word. I was going to redo evaluate, because I really did like that one, because that the emphasis there was, like, figure out what’s valuable to you, but whatever, I’ve used that one before, so I’m going to give credit out to Elke and go with allow.
Jennie Nash
Okay, Sarina, what about you?
Sarina Bowen
Well, you know, I picked a word, and I usually really struggle with this, and I never feel quite comfortable with it, but I pick something, or it just picked me one day, and that word is ‘esteem’. And my little job, my little job is having a strange little moment of esteem, because there’s this show that’s at the tippy top of HBO right now called Heated Rivalry. And Heated Rivalry is a book that is a queer hockey romance, which is something that I have also written since 2014, and it has; strangely, some of my best performing books ever over the last decade fall into what I thought was a niche. So I write this niche thing, and people read it and they love it, but you know, it has always stayed in its corner until now. And Rachel Reid is the author of the book called Heated Rivalry, from which this TV show was made very faithfully. And Heated Rivalry is a fantastic novel, by the way. Fantastic conflict, and an interesting story structure. So it has been quite a revelation to watch her book and story reach an audience that I did not feel it was capable of. And there is something about that, that really spoke to all the parts about my, of my business, where, for example, sometimes I have to do research. And early on, I almost felt apologetic about asking an orthopedic surgeon to talk to me about something for a romance novel, because I just assumed that they would roll their eyes. I did it anyway. Thank you, Mark, Dr. Mark, for explaining knee surgery to me. But um, so esteem is a couple of different things. It is choosing projects that I esteem and that I care about, not because I think they’ll sell, but because I love them, and also just realizing that the esteem that comes to various things that we do is not always predictable or measurable or something to rely upon. So I have to esteem it all on my own before I commit the time to do that. And that is how I ended up picking this word that I that I really like. It’s kind of a quiet word. It doesn’t, it isn’t sexy, I guess is, is a word I would describe it, not really, but, um, but it is a, it’s like asks you to pause and measure how we feel about something before we commit. And that is how I ended up there.
Jess Lahey
I love that meaning to the word. I love it.
Jennie Nash
Something that also occurs to me is you spoke with such esteem about this other author and the work that that she’s done, and that’s something that you often do, and you lift up all the writers in lots of different ways. And that esteem you have for the process of writing and the publishing business and the hard work of it comes across as well. So I like that meaning too.
Sarina Bowen
Well thank you. I had an interesting conversation with my 22 year old son, who is quite a reader. Right now he’s trying to get to the end of Crime and Punishment before his semester really kicks in. And he asked me over drinks, on a trip to Boston that I was making time for, so go me, if I could write like anyone, like if I could suddenly have the skills of any author, dead or alive, who would I pick? And I instantly gave him a couple of names in contemporary fiction that he has never read and never will, because there are people who write books that are not for 22 year old nerds. And, um, and he, he sort of blanked and he’s like, no mama, like you could have, you could be Tolstoy, you know, like you could pick anything. And I’m like, no, I’m serious. I have esteem for the things these people are doing in contemporary fiction. And it’s like that, um, that George Michael quote, like, when are you going to make some serious music? And he says, you don’t understand, I’m very serious about pop music. And you know, it’s my right to esteem whatever I choose. And I really do choose this. It’s not; it’s not a runner up thing for me. This is my interest, and I’m going to value it.
Jess Lahey
Hell yeah,
Sarina Bowen
Yeah. Woohoo!
Jennie Nash
I feel like we should end on that.
Jess Lahey
Yeah. I think that’s a good place to stop.
Jennie Nash
That was some power, power language there. We would love our listeners to share in the chat your goals for the year, your words for the year, how you feel about pickles and their touching a bread. [laughing] We would love to hear all the things from you, and until next time, keep your butt in the chair and your head in the game.
Narrator
The Hashtag AmWriting Podcast is produced by Andrew Perrella. Our intro music, aptly titled, Unemployed Monday, was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for the


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