communication mastery series part 3: stop people pleasing, start owning your space
In today’s episode, we’re peeling back the layers of the boundary-setting conversation, and doing it differently than you’ve heard before. We’ll explore the pitfalls of cut-off culture — this idea that you should sever ties with anyone who makes you uncomfortable or crosses a line. It’s easy to see why this is appealing, especially in today’s world of Instagram influencers and self-help rhetoric, but it’s a trap. If you’re someone who struggles with people-pleasing, you’ve probably found yourself gravitating toward boundary-related content, only to end up feeling like the solution is to cut everyone out. But that’s not the whole picture. In this episode, we’re offering a different path.We talk about becoming emotionally resilient. The kind of resilience that helps you identify what’s truly toxic in your life versus what’s just discomfort that you need to sit with and work through. We also dive into the real emotional work of learning how to state your needs, say no, and have those difficult conversations without feeling like you’re falling apart. And yes, some relationships might fall away as you start to assert yourself, but the ones that remain — or the ones that transform — will be healthier and more aligned with your true self. You might even begin attracting more balanced, emotionally mature people into your life because you’re showing up more grounded.We also get into the physical toll of people-pleasing. Emotional suppression doesn’t just affect your relationships. It starts to show up in your body. We’ll talk about resentment and how it manifests in your communication patterns, and why it’s so important to face these patterns head-on. To wrap up, I’ll share how you can use ChatGPT (or any language model) to practice setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and navigating difficult conversations, just as we’ve done in this episode.This is the work. It’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to build the life and relationships you actually want.GO DEEPER WITH HUNDREDS OF BONUS EPISODES + WEEKLY PATHWORK PROMPTS. Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.
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1:08:40
healing in a world that won't heal
You’ve been carrying someone else’s burden. The weight of their healing, their progress, their transformation. You’ve believed that if you just try hard enough, they’ll “get it” just like you did. If you could just push them, nudge them, make them see what you see, they would awaken too.But this weight isn’t yours to carry. Let go.The more you try to pull others along on your journey, the more you hold yourself back. There’s an untapped power within you when you stop managing someone else’s evolution. It’s not about being superior, and it’s certainly not about fixing anything. It’s about releasing control. That’s when you find peace. That’s when you can connect with people authentically, not because you need them to change, but because you’re no longer trying to change them.You can’t force anyone to grow. They’re not ready. They’re on their own timeline. And if you’re too focused on their journey, you’ll miss your own. By stepping back, by letting others fall apart, burn, or reshape themselves as they need to, you create space for your own evolution. The path you walk won’t be the same as theirs. And that’s how it’s meant to be.When you release the rope, you clear the energy you’ve been wasting on something you can’t control. That’s when the magic happens: you grow. Not because you’ve manipulated anyone’s healing, but because you’ve stepped into your own.True freedom lies in knowing that you don’t need everyone to be where you are. You don’t need them to catch up to you. Their healing isn’t your responsibility, and neither is the timeline of their progress. This is what true sovereignty looks like. Walking your own path, letting others walk theirs. And in that, you’ll find peace.🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.
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25:13
communication mastery series part 2: the stoic art of emotional control
Welcome to Part 2 of our Communication Mastery Series. In this episode, we’re diving into something powerful and timeless: Stoicism. This philosophy isn’t just for philosophers or ancient thinkers. It’s an emotional control blueprint for anyone who feels overpowered by their feelings, trapped in emotional reactivity, and has a hard time finding peace amidst life’s chaos.You’ll learn about the history of Stoicism, the philosophers who laid the foundation, and how their principles can serve as your secret weapon in the battle for emotional mastery. We’ll tackle the criticisms surrounding Stoicism. Yes, it’s been misunderstood, especially in today’s world. But I’ll show you how it’s the perfect antidote to the overwhelm, stress, and emotional hijacking we’re constantly facing in our hyper-connected world.In this episode, we’ll break down the most crucial Stoic tools. The ones that will help you stop being ruled by your emotions and start responding with clarity, purpose, and control. You’ll see how practicing Stoic principles can transform your communication, allowing you to speak with confidence and calm even in the most emotionally charged moments.The world today is an emotional battleground with news, social media, and algorithms all vying for your attention and emotions. But if you can master your emotional responses, if you can stay centered in the storm, you’ll stop being controlled by the noise. You’ll become the calm in the chaos, responding from your emotional center, not from a place of fear, reactivity, or overwhelm.If you’ve ever felt like your emotions are running the show. this episode is for you. It’s time to take back your power, regain control, and navigate your life and conversations with the clarity and strength that Stoicism offers.GO DEEPER WITH HUNDREDS OF BONUS EPISODES + WEEKLY PATHWORK PROMPTS. Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.
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1:13:13
i miss who i was before the internet knew me
The internet never felt exactly safe, but it did used to feel like freedom. A wild, unstructured frontier. A portal you stepped through to escape family, teachers, and society, diving headfirst into a chaotic unknown. This was before Silicon Valley had perfected the algorithms, before influencers commodified authenticity, before activism became a performance and your identity became data to harvest.Now the digital world feels heavy. Notifications pull you from your body, urging you to document life instead of living it. You scroll through a sanitized landscape, endlessly policing your own thoughts, shadowboxing with invisible algorithms. Celebrity culture metastasized, influencer campaigns turned your insecurities into profit, and now your inner life is just another marketplace.You don’t want to delete yourself. This is our reality now. But you can still feel the psychic toll every day of your life. Every moment online carries the weight of surveillance, commodification, and division. You miss the person you were before you started watching yourself through a screen, before freedom turned into a cage.There is a deeper ache beneath your exhaustion. It calls you back to yourself. Listen closely.🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive — plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.
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22:30
communication mastery series part 1: command your voice, command your life
The way you communicate will either open doors or shut them. It’s time you start mastering it. You’ve been talking your whole life, but what if your words are failing you? What if your communication is costing you relationships, opportunities, and peace of mind? We’re conditioned to think that just “saying what we feel” is enough, but deep down, we know there’s more to it than that.In this episode, we’ll start to unravel the truth about why communication is broken for so many of us. The things we haven’t been taught. How to get what we need from others, how to assert ourselves without guilt, and how to create connections that actually last. I’m not here to sugarcoat things. I’m here to show you how you’ve been holding yourself back. What you weren’t told growing up is that communication is power. If you don’t know how to wield it, you give that power away. You let others control the narrative, control your relationships, and control how they see you. We’ll take a look at why so many of us struggle to communicate effectively. Why we’re misunderstood, why we feel like we’re always fighting to be heard, and why poor emotional regulation plays a huge role in all of it. I’ll share some of my own painful lessons, too. Times when I let my emotions hijack me and ended up sabotaging the very connections I was trying to build. We won’t just dissect the problem. I’ll also give you tools to fix it. We’re going to explore the lost art of rhetoric. The ancient skill that the best communicators used to reshape their reality and influence everything around them. You’re not broken, but your communication could use some serious work. And that’s where we’ll start.We’ll also talk about the difference between manipulation and assertion. Many people get scared to speak with power because they fear they’ll be labeled manipulative, but learning how to communicate powerfully is not the same as trying to control or manipulate others. You’ll learn how to take back control of your own voice without crossing that line. I’ll show you exactly how your emotions have been controlling your interactions and how to break free from that. It’s time to stop reacting and start communicating from a place of strength. I’ll walk you through real examples. Where I messed up, and how you can do it differently. GO DEEPER WITH HUNDREDS OF BONUS EPISODES + WEEKLY PATHWORK PROMPTS. Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.
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I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of 'disorder' or 'dysfunction', but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast isn’t about psychiatric labels. It’s about coming back from the inner psychological brink we all experience. Everyone has found themselves on the edge, in that liminal space where the old self falls apart and the new Self emerges. Here, we explore what it means to undergo true emotional alchemy: that ancient and primordial process of falling apart, confronting the underworld of our psyche, and falling back together into someone stronger, wiser, and more whole.Many highly sensitive people who identify with the seemingly never-ending list of diagnostic mental health labels contained within ‘the bible of psychiatry’ (the DSM) share the same underlying sense of being irreparably broken, disconnected from their intuition, and paralyzed by life’s existential questions. I believe the resulting—and perfectly understandable—chronic feelings of emptiness and spiritual starvation are the TRUE causes of our current collective ‘mental health crisis.’ Together, we’ll dive into depth psychology, mythology, human consciousness, critical psychiatry, and the impact of trauma to help you begin the process of emotional alchemy. This exploration will help you get to the root cause of your suffering and free yourself from the toxic shame, limiting beliefs, and mental programming that have kept you locked in the chains of your past.In an era where mental health and spirituality are too often commercialized, I’m not here as a guru with a quick fix to sell you. I don’t believe anyone is ever truly ‘healed’ or ‘cured.’ There is no return to some mythical state of pre-trauma purity, but rather a continuous spiral of unbecoming, unlearning, and transformation. As a fellow seeker, I will be there in your ear, walking alongside you on your path toward wholeness as a sort of parasocial big sister. That, I can promise. By integrating the concepts we explore together, you’ll begin to see that anyone—even you—can come back from the borderline.CRAVING MORE? Visit backfromtheborderline.com to dive into my universe, connect with me, access my Patreon, and discover more about my journey and work. Don’t forget to follow Back from the Borderline so new episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays automatically drop into your podcast feed.
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Ireland