Overcoming Childhood Conditioning & The Pleaser Saboteur
In this episode, I explore how childhood programming may unconsciously fuel negative patterns in our adult lives, due to our perceptions. The focus is on the Pleaser Saboteur, a program that can manifest as people-pleasing tendencies, driven by a fear of rejection and a deep need for love, acceptance and validation. I delve into:
Understanding childhood conditioning and how early experiences shape our behaviours.
The empowering strength of empathy and sensitivity, which underpin the Pleaser Saboteur, and how overdoing these strengths can lead to debilitating patterns of behaviour and emotional depletion.
The impact of the Pleaser Saboteur on self-worth and the development of unhealthy relationship dynamics.
The importance of self-love and self-empathy in healing negative patterns and building emotional intelligence.
NLP and Timeline Therapy: Techniques that can help reconnect with the younger self and reprogram beliefs that are now hindering us in adult life.
The difference between conditional and unconditional love, and how to cultivate authentic self-love without expectations.
By the end of this episode, I hope listeners will be inspired to reconnect with their own childhood self, offering them compassion and unconditional love, while also gaining tools to break free from people-pleasing behaviours.
I’d also like to recommend a powerful video that can support you in your journey of healing. It’s a 1990 Oprah Winfrey episode where John Bradshaw, a pioneering counsellor, takes the audience through an exercise that opens the door to healing from childhood trauma link here: Watch the video.
I realised that it’s up to me to understand and love myself now. I accept myself and my 8-year-old self just the way I am. I know that I can now be the senior my younger self never had, embracing her humour, her playfulness, her creative side, so that I can go out and thrive, not just survive in saboteur mode, but I can thrive in Sage mode.
Phylicia Rashad once said, "Before a child speaks, they sing. Before they write, they paint. As soon as they stand, they dance. Art is the basis of human expression." I believe it’s never too late to reconnect with that childhood self and rediscover the joy of singing, painting, writing, dancing, or whatever it is that allows you to reconnect with your inner imaginative, creative being.
I now know I am a spiritual, creative being having a human experience, and my childhood self has played a key role in helping me learn this.
I invite you to consider being the senior you needed when you were younger. If and when you decide to reconnect with that younger self, I hope you can build a beautiful life together, just as I have done.
To practice building self-love:
Continue to build on what I mentioned last week, keep cultivating that foundational awareness, respect, and appreciation for you and now for your younger self. We were all created uniquely. Your childhood self has her unique fingerprint, her unique brain design. Celebrate that. Celebrate them.
In your journal, think of your childhood self at any age of your choosing. Write to them, what would you say?
Rumi, the Persian poet, said, “If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.”
My 8-year-old self is certainly now my light.
By embracing your younger self, you can rediscover what unconditional self-love truly feels like.
Remember look after yourself and look after your younger self, you are both worthy of love.
When you are ready to reconnect with your childhood self and grow together in self love, you can book in a 1 hour fee, no obligation, session to discuss how I can help facilitate this. To connect email me
[email protected]
www.pacoaching.co.uk
Ireland