Mindful Poetic Stories Podcast

Reflections; on a Self Love Journey

The Power of the Pause on A Year of Self-Welcoming, Self-Love & Inner Wisdom

 

Episode 52 marks one full year of podcasting, and instead of rushing ahead, this episode was crafted from a mindful pause. A reflection on fear, self-sabotage, emotional intelligence, neuroscience, self-love, and the inner Sage that guides us home to ourselves.

This episode weaves poetry, personal storytelling, philosophy, neuroscience, coaching insights, and poetic reflection to explore how our inner voices shape our lives, and how learning self-compassion, emotional regulation, and mindful self-care builds the strongest foundation of all: self-preservation through self-love.

This is not a journey of “self-help,” but a self-welcoming journey, toward peace, resilience, meaning, and living in alignment with who you truly are.

 

Quotes from the Episode

“No one teaches us how to talk to ourselves — and yet it shapes our entire life.”

“Knowledge is only powerful when it’s applied.”

“Knowing is 20%. Action is 80%.”

“Labelling is disabling.”

“The secret to change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates

“Peace is priceless.”

“No one drives me crazy unless I hand them my keys.”

“Self-compassion softens the harsh edges inside you.”

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”

 

Key Themes Explored

The power of the pause and reflection

Self-sabotaging inner voices (Victim, Pleaser, Stickler, Avoider)

Emotional intelligence; EQ vs IQ

Fear as a system of control vs inner awareness as liberation

Ancient wisdom (Buddha, Confucius, Lao Tzu, Socrates)

Neuroscience, neuroplasticity, and nervous system balance

Fight-or-flight vs rest-and-digest

Gut health, hormones, and emotional wellbeing

Mirror work and healing unfelt pain

Writing, creativity, and finding meaning

Living in alignment with values

Self-love as self-preservation

 

Key Takeaways

Self-love is not indulgence, it is self-preservation

Fear keeps us stuck; awareness sets us free

Emotional intelligence is foundational to a fulfilling life

Our brains are malleable, what’s learned can be relearned

Healing happens through practice, not just knowledge

Peace comes from within, not from controlling circumstances

Self-compassion creates the safety needed for growth

When we stop fighting ourselves, transformation begins

Meaning and purpose make life bearable, and beautiful

 

Your time to Reflect & Journal

What if the voice sabotaging you isn’t the truth, but an outdated coping mechanism?

What happens when you stop fighting yourself and start listening to your inner Sage?

How would your life change if you met yourself with unconditional love instead of judgment?

 

Final Note

This episode is a celebration, of consistency, courage, healing, and a year of showing up. A huge thank you to everyone who has been involved, for their support and encouaragement, and a huge thank you to you my listeners for tuning in and turning up for you.

With a reminder that you matter, that your inner wisdom is real, and that choosing self-love is a revolutionary act in a fear-driven world.

If you’d like to explore positive intelligence coaching and mental fitness, you’re invited to reach out to me via email

 

As always, take care of you.

 

You matter. Today, tomorrow, and every day.

 

Email me [email protected] to find out more about positive intelligence coaching, mental fitness and the journey of self love, and to book a free no obligation discovery call

Your Home Song; Coming home to the unshakeable foundation of self-love

This episode is about you.

Your journey of coming home to yourself.

At the very heart of this podcast is the invitation to build a solid, unshakeable foundation of self-love, from the core of who you are.

 

Your Sage self. Your authentic essence.

 

In this deeply personal and reflective episode, Patricia shares her own journey from feeling unlovable, not good enough, and disconnected from herself to discovering the power of self-care, self-welcoming, and unconditional self-love. Through stories from childhood, school, comparison, shame, and healing, she explores how our private logic, early experiences, and internal saboteurs shape the way we see ourselves, and how we can rewrite those stories and heal.

 

This is an episode about mental fitness, emotional intelligence, Positive Intelligence coaching, and learning how to live from a place of inner peace, authenticity, and self-trust.

Because when we come home to ourselves, we can stop merely surviving, and start living, thriving, and shining.

 

Quotes from this Episode;

“The journey home to yourself with unconditional self-love is the strongest, most stable foundation you can live and grow from.”

“Comparison is the thief of contentment, and for years, I didn’t know what was stealing mine.”

“When I didn’t love myself, I was miserable. When I found self-love, I found the home within me, and I feel alive.”

“Our true responsibility in this life is to be true to ourselves and love the miracle that we are.”

“The distress is not the event, it’s what happens inside us as a result of the event. And that is always personal.”

“True lovability begins when you choose to welcome yourself home.”

 

Key Concepts Explained

Private Logic (Alfred Adler)

Our private logic is the unconscious belief system we form most of the time in childhood based on our experiences, environment, perceptions and interpretations. It shapes how we see ourselves, others, and the world, and can either empower us or limit us.

 

Saboteur vs Sage (Positive Intelligence)

Saboteurs: Fear-based survival patterns rooted in shame, comparison, and self-criticism

Sage: The wise, loving inner voice that helps us thrive through curiosity, empathy, creativity, and purpose

 

Mental fitness work helps weaken saboteurs and strengthen the Sage, creating emotional resilience and wellbeing.

 

References Mentioned

Alfred Adler – Individual Psychology & the concept of Private Logic

Positive Intelligence® – Mental Fitness framework (Saboteur vs Sage)

Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (1995)

Poem; Henry Van Dyke, A Home Song

Journal; I’m Lovable – discovered at Waterstones, Piccadilly (2017)

 

Poetic Inspiration

Henry Van Dyke – A Home Song

“Every house where love abides,

And friendship is a guest,

Is surely home, and home-sweet-home:

For there the heart can rest.”

 

Re-imagined for this episode:

The world needs your unique authentic light.

From the beautiful home within you.

Find it, claim it, and let it shine.

 

Key Takeaways

You are one of a kind; biologically, emotionally, neurologically

Self-love is not selfish; it is the foundation of authentic living

Childhood experiences shape beliefs, but they do not define your future

Comparison erodes self-worth; authenticity restores it

Emotional intelligence and mental fitness are essential life skills

Healing begins when we tell our stories with compassion

Your true home is within your body and being

When you live from your Sage, you serve yourself, and others more fully

 

Recommendations

Begin noticing your inner self sabotaging negative voices, without judgment

Practice self-welcoming instead of self-criticism

Book a discovery call with Patricia to explore Positive Intelligence mental fitness practices

Develop emotional intelligence skills: self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy

Write your own story; your words matter

Protect your energy, peace, and uniqueness

Choose yourself, again and again

 

Final Reflection

Home is not just a place.

Home is not something we earn.

Home is where the heart rests, and the soul is at peace.

And your truest home lives within you.

 

Come home to the one of a kind beautiful creation that is you.

 

Emails [email protected]

Website www.pacoaching.co.uk

Building Habits, Building You

In this episode, Patricia dives into the powerful connection between self-care, identity, and habit formation. You’ll learn why habits, not resolutions, shape your future, how to become the “anthropologist” of your own life, and how tiny, consistent actions create long-term transformation. With insights from coaching, behavioural science, and personal stories, this episode guides you toward building habits that support a more intentional, compassionate, and fulfilling life.

 

Key Takeaways

Habits shape your reality; Research suggests nearly half of our daily actions are habitual, often unconscious, and can steer us toward growth or self-sabotage.

Interference holds us back; Coaching helps uncover the internal patterns (beliefs, fears, conditioning) that block your potential.

Start small; Micro-habits bypass resistance and help your brain form new neural pathways with ease.

Identity matters; As James Clear notes, habits stick when anchored to who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve.

The RAS is always listening; Your brain filters information for whatever you focus on, so feed your intentions, not your fears.

Habit formation takes time; The “21-day rule” is a myth. Research shows habits can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to become automatic.

Consistency over perfection; Missing a day doesn’t break a habit, but quitting on yourself does.

Track, celebrate, repeat; Small wins activate dopamine and reinforce your identity as someone who follows through.

Gentleness is non-negotiable; Long-term sustainable change is built on self-love, patience, and awareness, not pressure.

 

Quote;

“People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits — and their habits decide their futures.” — F.M. Alexander

 

Referenced Research

Habit Formation Research

Phillippa Lally et al. (2009), University College London; Study finding an average of 66 days to reach habit automaticity (range 18–254 days).

 

Tiny Habits / Behaviour Design

BJ Fogg, Stanford University — Behaviour Model and the science behind tiny habits.

 

Identity-Based Habits

James Clear — Book, Atomic Habits

 

Coaching Foundations

Timothy Gallwey — “Performance - Interference = Potential – Interference”

Positive Intelligence - https://www.positiveintelligence.com/

 

Final Message

This year, choose habits that honour who you are becoming. Start small, stay curious, celebrate every win, and build a foundation of self-love that can support meaningful, lasting change.

You matter, today, this year, next year and every year.

 

Email me at [email protected]

Website www.pacoaching.co.uk

Reclaiming Your Power: Mental Fitness, Self-Love & the Sage Within

 

Episode Release: Christmas Eve Special

 

Episode Summary

In this heartfelt Christmas Eve episode, Patricia is closing out the year by revisiting the core themes that have shaped our journey together: emotional resilience, self-love, and the transformative power of mental fitness. You’ll hear why many of us stay stuck in self-sabotage, how our “Saboteur” autopilot loops keep us in survival mode, and, most importantly, how reconnecting with your inner Sage is the key to lasting positive change.

 

This episode also includes an exciting announcement: one listener will win a Positive Intelligence Coaching Programme with me in the New Year!

 

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, battling self-doubt, or longing to lead a more intentional, empowered life… this is the episode that ties it all together.

 

Key Takeaways

Self-Love Is a Revolutionary Act

Drawing on the insights of Tina Lifford and Abiola Abrams, we explore why knowing and accepting yourself is the foundation of emotional resilience, empowerment, and genuine transformation.

 

Mental Fitness = Thriving, Not Just Surviving

Mental fitness helps you shift from the self-neglect of Saboteur mode to the self-care and clarity of Sage mode. It allows you to recognise your internal programs, outdated beliefs, and survival-driven thought loops that hold you back.

 

The Autopilot Trap & Why Change Fails

Many attempts at positive change fail because we live on autopilot, constantly pulled back by ingrained habits, limiting assumptions, and emotional survival patterns formed long ago.

 

Performance = Potential – Interference

Based on Timothy Gallwey’s pioneering coaching work, we examine how your internal “interference patterns” drain your potential, and how Positive Intelligence coaching helps you dismantle them.

 

Your Inner Sage Is Always There

Your intuitive wisdom, the Sage, is quiet but powerful. Strengthening it requires daily mental fitness practice, awareness, and the ability to pause, choose, and respond intentionally.

 

You Can’t Thrive and Survive at the Same Time

Survival mode keeps you anxious, dysregulated, and limited. Sage mode opens the door to creativity, wellbeing, deeper relationships, and real happiness.

 

Happiness Leads to Success (Not the Other Way Around)

Positive psychology confirms that cultivating happiness first boosts motivation, resilience, productivity, and life satisfaction.

 

Emotional Intelligence Matters More Than IQ

Inspired by Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking work, we discuss why emotional intelligence, not cognitive intelligence, matters more and is what truly shapes our success, fulfilment, happiness and meaningful relationships.

 

Transformation Begins With Your Relationship With Yourself

To step into the future you desire, you must:

Understand your internal programs

Identify both strengths and sabotaging behaviours

Quiet the inner critic

Strengthen your intuitive Sage wisdom

These are the foundations of personal power and mental fitness.

 

Episode Recommendations

Practice the Power of the Pause

As Viktor Frankl said: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space.”

Use this space to reconnect with your Sage, regulate your emotions, and choose consciously instead of reacting from fear.

 

Begin a Simple Daily Mental Fitness Practice

Small, consistent exercises that engage your Sage build new neural pathways and strengthen your emotional resilience. Engage your senses regularly and you will start to reconnect with your Sage.

 

Start an Internal Dialogue Audit

Pay attention to your inner voices. Are they driven by fear, doubt, or outdated survival patterns, or by intuition, wisdom, and compassion?

 

Focus on Intentional Living

Shift from autopilot to awareness. Choose habits that support your future self, not your old protective patterns.

 

Own Your Story

Let go of self-doubt and reclaim your inner authority. Your personal power lies not in perfection, but in self-acceptance and alignment.

 

Listener Giveaway (Christmas Eve Special!)

To celebrate the year and this journey of emotional growth, I’m gifting one listener a Positive Intelligence Coaching Programme in the New Year.

Listen to the episode for details on how to enter!

 

Final Words

Your inner Sage is never lost, it’s waiting to be heard. When you reconnect with it, you reclaim your worth, your voice, and your power. You become the author of your life.

 

Know yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself.

Because when you do, you become invincible.

 

Email me at [email protected]

website www.pacoaching.co.uk

The Christmas Gift of Presence: Digital Detox, Family Connection & The Power of Gratitude

 

Episode Summary

In this heartfelt Christmas episode, Patricia shares two powerful personal stories from last year’s holiday season, one planned, one unplanned, that enhance her wellbeing over the festive holidays. From an intuitive two-week digital detox with her mum, to a family “Gratitude Attitude Jar,” she explores how unplugging, reconnecting, and receiving gratitude can profoundly impact mental health, emotional resilience, and joy.

 

Listeners will hear practical guidance for digital fasting, family connection, emotional awareness, and creative ways to build meaningful traditions that nurture peace, presence, and genuine human connection.

 

Key Takeaways

Unplanned pauses can become the greatest gifts. A spontaneous digital break led to deeper connection, peace, and presence.

Deadlines matter, but not more than people. What feels urgent often isn’t; what’s irreplaceable often is.

Technology is designed to keep our attention. Taking it back requires awareness, limits, and compassion.

Digital detoxing reduces stress and boosts creativity. Stepping back created space for workshops, games, and meaningful conversations.

Gratitude is most powerful when it’s received, not just expressed. Research shows witnessing gratitude strengthens emotional and physical wellbeing.

Small, consistent habits make digital boundaries easier. Start with 30 minutes, one room, or removing one app.

Family rituals deepen connection. A gratitude jar, creativity prompts, or shared offline time can become cherished traditions.

 

Memorable Quotes

“Sometimes the gift of switching off comes without being planned.”

“Is a problem a problem if you don’t think it’s a problem?”

“My mum won’t be here forever. I won’t be here forever. Deadlines can wait, making memories cannot.”

“The digital world promised connection, but we are becoming more disconnected in real life.”

“Start small. Half an hour. One hour. Build up. Reclaim your attention.”

“Gratitude isn’t only about giving thanks, its potent power is in receiving it.”

“The genuine exchange of gratitude costs nothing, but gives everything.”

“Presence is the best Christmas gift any family can share.”

 

Episode Highlights

Patricia’s intuitive choice to take a two-week tech-free Christmas with her mum

Letting go of deadlines and perfectionism

The reality of digital overwhelm and “nomophobia”

Creative family connection rituals during the holidays

Why tech leaders like Steve Jobs limited their own children’s device use

Get creative and start your own digital fast or digital detox

A deep dive into the “December Gratitude Attitude bottled”

Research on gratitude, emotional wellbeing, and the power of receiving thanks

Practical ways to nurture your attention, focus, and mental health

A Christmas challenge to reclaim presence, joy, and connection

 

Tips & Recommendations Mentioned

Digital Detox Ideas

Create a family digital lockbox

Synchronise “phone-off” times together

Start with 30 to 60 minutes of tech-free time

Limit use of one specific app

Choose tech-free rooms (especially the bedroom)

Make your phone not the first/last thing of the day

Remove social media apps temporarily

Take nature walks, visit friends, or plan creative games

 

Gratitude Practices

Make a Gratitude Attitude Jar for the holiday season

Read gratitude notes aloud as a family

Create a Christmas Gratitude Journal

o Morning: “10 things I’m grateful for”

o Evening: “3 people who made my day happier”

o Bedtime: “The best part of my day was…”

 

Research & Resources

Huberman Lab Podcast: The Science of Gratitude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVjfFN89qvQ

 

Message to Listeners

A gentle reminder to choose presence over pressure. Your wellbeing matters 365 days a year, and the greatest gifts of the season are compassion, togetherness, love, and real-life connection.

 

To find out more about mental fitness or book a discovery call email [email protected]