Sexy Unique Podcast

Lara and Carey discuss hantavirus woes, the Ladies of London tragedy, Kris Jenner Ozempic “truth,” and more.

Back on The Valley, Brittany, Zack, Jinet and Jason meet Schwartz’s gorgeous and shockingly formidable new legitimate model gf during a cursed TomTom brunch. Lacy, Doute and Nia hunt for costumes as Lacy reveals her (unsurprising) nemesis in the group. Hint: it’s not Michelle and she’s rindom!

The group then catches a ride of the terror train down to San Diego for their big group trip; Zack and Jinet cozy up, much to the dismay of Doute, who takes to the floor of the train to guzzle vino and stew. The cast divides into different houses on the SD compound as Danny — temporarily deprived of glug-glug— begins to terrorize Nia over being asked to help her with the baby; everyone heads to an amusement park where Doute’s postpartum body hell continues and Nia disassociates from the hell of get marriage. Tom Schwartz revels in the joy of new love to the girls; Lala and Michelle share a tender trauma bond on the beach at sunset.
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Lara and Carey discuss Lisa Barlow’s genetic proof of gay icon and Gizelle from Real Housewives of Potomac and Angelina Jolie uniting over the power of sorority.

Back on SoHo, Joe Bradley continues his flop tour by throwing Maddi a surprise pirate-themed booze cruise for her birthday; her being 11 years sober, not liking surprises and wanting a private celebration be damned! Lily Grace returns from her ketamine fog to ask Leva for a second chance at Republic. Then the crew heads to the Dominican Republic for a DJ Maddi hotel gig. Michols, excited to share his heritage with his friends and visit with his grandmother, stonewalls Emmy, whose micro aggressions have turned macro. After yet another painful defense of her insane and dangerous behavior, lawyer wife psychosis pushes her enters into a place of truck stop comedy at the dinner table, frightening everyone else in the process.
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Lara and Carey discuss their legendary episode of The Ultimate Spend, Carey’s inner auctioneer, even newer Summer House reunion audio leaks, a terrifying development in West’s personal life, the unfortunate truth about dumb dick and how not even someone as formidable as Ciara is immune. Plus the real “Emily” from Devil Wears Prada breaks her silence and why Widow’s Bay is serving.

Back on The Valley, Larz and Carz brave the urge to jump ship after being torpedoed by the boringness of this show, but choose to go sink with the boat as all good captains must do. Hetero Hell is truly errands in The Valley. Michelle reveals her past as a gymnast and some sad things about her dad; Doute, Zack and Britt get waxed and bronzed in anticipation of their California Board of Tourism-sanctioned trip to San Diego. Lala checks in on Janet’s mental health at pilates, as nearly the entire group is currently in Rindom Psychosis about Mrs. Caperna. Lacy reveals her doomsday bunker without disclosing its location, Janet hosts a game night at a barcade with Ms. Lips, and Brittany invites the crew over for another cursed pool party at her place. Danny revels in Reign of Terror campaign against Jinet, who tries to mend things with Zack, who tries to mediate Luke about Doute, who then smokes a magnanimous bowl with Jinet, part of her diabolical plan to regain control over this snooze fest of a group.
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Lara and Carey discuss the Michael Jackson harrowing biopic’s grip over LA, Mia from SoHo dropping a West/Amanda bomb on WWHL, Elizabeth Smart’s bodybuilding turn, and more.

On Southern Hospitality, Joe Bradley’s 30th Emo Bash is finally here, and Charleston’s greatest fail-son comes crawling back to Maddi for forgiveness. TJ joins Michols for a whirlwind work trip in NYC, where Michols takes model meetings and becomes the face of Men’s Warehouse. Julia catches wind of a new lie Emmy is telling about Brad which ups “Unsafe Gate” into new levels of adderall-tinged racism. At Joe’s party, the crew has varying degrees of accurate with their emo representations; Lake debuts her lady friend and has one too many Four Lokos, prompting an ill-advised confrontation with Mia. Julia calls out Emmy — inexplicably channeling Britney Spears in “Hit Me Baby”— who, in turn, nearly self-combusts.
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Lara and Carey are back to discuss Mx. Sweeney’s cut from The Devil Wears Prada 2, the cosmic rindomness of Euphoria season 3, Snooki’s cancer diagnosis, Kendall Jenner and Elordi’s boring hot union and more.

Then on The Valley, Doute’s postpartum goes to DEFCON ONE on girls night with Brit and Jasmine. Brittany spills the beans about her newly minted relationship with Brandon and Danny slaps on a breastfeeding device for men, driving Nia further into psychosis. Schwartz, Jason and Jesse get pedicures and flirt with the receptionist at the salon. The boys gather at a cigar bar to broker peace between Danny and Jason. Schwartz, Lala, Michelle head to the infamous Belmont for a singles night; Michelle and Lala concoct a scheme to book Schwartz up with Michelle’s friend Natalie, but the receptionist from the pedicure place shows up with other plans for Mister Tilapia. Luke and Doute’s date night at the bar goes south fast when Kristen drags Luke for drunken couch sleeping and flopbeat dad territory.
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