Stress Therapy with Cheri Flake: Meditation & Stress Relief for Real Life

Hey beautiful people. Last week I just threw it out there: if you’re tired, go to sleep. And I know for some of you that landed like a joke, because going to sleep is the whole problem. I get it. I was a chronic insomniac for years. Years. And it’s gone now. Completely cured. So today it’s sleep hygiene day on Stress Therapy, and I’m giving you the old faithfuls you’ve heard a million times, plus the stuff that actually worked for me and for my clients, which is not what everybody else is saying. Key Takeaways
You can’t force sleep. Outside of anesthesia, nothing puts you to sleep. Pills create an environment for it, but the more you chase it, the further it goes.
Your bed is for sleep and sex. That’s it. No TV, no phone, no meditating in it either.
When you wake up at 3 a.m., do not talk to yourself about it. Get out of your head and into your body. Once you get riled up and release cortisol, you’ve got about 90 minutes before it clears, and that’s your hour and a half of staring at the ceiling.
Episode Highlights
The old faithfuls you’ve heard forever and quietly stopped doing: napping, working out too late, eating right before bed
Why 68 degrees is the number, and what happens when it gets menopausal in your room
My eye cover obsession, and why the one the airline hands you is not getting the job done
Beditation, and why I almost never meditate in my own bed
Why alcohol has you wide awake and spiraling at 3 a.m., and why morning is technically the best time to drink it
How to move your bedtime without a fight: 20 minutes at a time over three to five days
The old iPod trick that cured my insomnia, with nothing on it but books, music and binaural beats
Why a pad of paper and a pen beside your bed beats reaching for your phone
Why you need to stop calling it my insomnia, and start talking about yourself like a good sleeper
A short nervous system reset you can do lying right there in bed
Mentions and References
Binaural beats apps: Brainwave for Apple, Brain Waves or Atmosphere for Android
My favorite eye covers, including the Bluetooth ones with the timer
My friend Ann Dupree, who teaches resilience, on why your prefrontal cortex is the wrong part of your brain to be chatting with at 3 a.m.
Libby, Kindle, Apple Books and Spotify, the only apps allowed on the little iPod
Magnesium, which I think is one of the most important supplements we can take. Melatonin I save for jet lag. Ask your doctor.
My Tom Petty Full Moon Fever t-shirt, because we’re not having night sweats around here
Try This Week
Pick one thing from the list and change it tonight. Turn the thermostat down. Put a pad of paper and a pen next to the bed and leave your phone in another room. Buy the paper book. And when you wake up in the middle of the night, don’t look at the clock and don’t do the math. Come into your body instead. How does your arm feel against the pillowcase? How does your knee feel under the sheets. That’s the whole trick, and it works. Connect With Me
Instagram: @thestresstherapist
Twitter: @stresstherapy
Meditation and yoga retreats and other offerings: ilovetherapy.com
Live in Georgia and ready to work together? Visit the website to set up a free face-to-face consultation.
Join my mailer so you don’t miss a thing. Edited and produced by Owen Flake

Hey beautiful people. I've got a little cold and my hair is not cooperating, but I showed up anyway, because I didn't want to procrastinate on talking to you about procrastination. My mom Lois has never put anything off a day in her life, and she genuinely doesn't understand why the rest of us do. This one's for everybody else. Here's the truth: procrastination has nothing to do with how badly you want something. It's an emotional problem, not a productivity problem. You're not avoiding the task. You're avoiding the feeling attached to the task. Once you understand what your brain is doing, you can get the upper hand, and I've seen this work over and over with my clients. Key Takeaways
Your brain can't tell the difference between thinking about something and doing it. Every time you think about that thing you're putting off, your brain believes you're working on it and getting nowhere, so it starts to feel huge.
Don't think about it unless you're working on it. Put it in your calendar in small chunks, set a reminder, and let it go until then.
Motivation comes after action, not before. Start small, and the good feelings follow.
Episode Highlights
A quick lemon exercise that proves your brain reacts to your thoughts like they're real
Why creative people are especially prone to procrastination, and the "perfect problem" that keeps them from starting
The five-minute timer trick I used with a painter client, who showed up with a canvas way bigger than I expected
Why it takes longer to complain about emptying the dishwasher than to actually empty it (about three minutes, kids)
Why your to-do list needs fun things on it too, even Halloween costumes in December
A guided meditation where you picture your task already done and feel what that's like, followed by silent repetition of the mantra Om
Mentions and References
My book, Honey Do to Honey DONE!, on using reminders and task lists so households can stop arguing about kitty litter and start actually talking to each other
The "little by little" technique from last season
My "It's All in Your Head" T-shirt
Pickleball players and CrossFit folks, who are proof that feeling good fuels follow-through
Try This Week Pick one thing you've been putting off. Instead of thinking about it all week, put it in your calendar as a short block, even five minutes. When the time comes, get yourself somewhere that feels good: your favorite spot, a candle, your favorite drink. Then just start. And add one fun thing to your to-do list while you're at it. Connect With Me Instagram: @thestresstherapist
Twitter: @stresstherapy
Meditation and yoga retreats and other offerings: ilovetherapy.com
Live in Georgia and ready to work together? Visit the website to set up a free face-to-face consultation.
Join my mailer so you don't miss a thing. Edited and produced by Owen Flake

Every August the same emails start rolling in. I can't believe it's back to school. I can't believe summer's over. I can't believe it's fall already. And I always think, why can't anybody believe it? Back to school comes after summer every single year.
What's not to believe? 
In this episode I talk about time delusion, which is real, and why it hits differently for people who meditate. When my kids were little, everyone told me it would fly by. It didn't. Now I've got a senior on my hands and everyone is telling me this year will be a blink, and I still don't think it will be. Not because I'm special, but because I've been practicing being here. You get better at what you practice. If you practice stillness, you get good at stillness. If you practice scrolling, well, you get good at that too, which is probably why everybody walking into my office lately is telling me they have attention problems. I believe them.
There's a rant about email in here. Fair warning. I stand by it.
We also meditate together, so find a comfortable seat before you press play if you can. It's a simple belly breath practice, nothing fancy, just you and your breath and the moment you're in. Your breath is always your way back.
The retreat sponsorship
Something happened this month that has never happened in nineteen retreats. A past retreat attendee put down a deposit for our September 2026 mountain retreat and then couldn't make it. Her deposit was fully refundable, and instead of taking it back she asked me to give it to someone who wants to come but is balking at the price. So there's a $250 sponsorship sitting here. And there's already a sale on the website, $100 or $150 off depending on which room you pick. Stack them and you're looking at up to $400 off. You don't have to prove anything. There's no application, no criteria, no explaining yourself to me. New roof, bad timing, tight month, whatever it is, I don't need to know. You just have to want to come. If you want it, you got it. Just let me know. 

Connect with me Instagram: @thestresstherapist

Twitter: @stresstherapy

Website: ilovetherapy.com for retreats, meditation, yoga, and everything else
 If you live in Georgia and you're thinking about becoming a client, head to the website to sign up for a free face to face consultation. And at the very least, get on the mailer so you don't miss a thing. Until next time, have a lovely, lovely day.

 Produced and edited by Owen Flake.

Hey beautiful people! What if you didn't have to lure anything into this moment — no worry, no anxiety, no "hurry up and get to the next thing" — and what if the good stuff started showing up on its own? In this mini meditation episode, I talk about taking custody of your own consciousness, getting out of the hurry-up cycle, and learning to just sit in right now. There's only one Now, baby, and it's right here. Stick around for the little guided meditation at the end. In this episode:
The "hurry up" trap — how we rush through every single moment to get to the next one, only to rush through that one too
Wherever you go, there you are: why nothing actually happens in the past or the future, only right now
Eckhart Tolle's simplest doorway into the present — just ask yourself, "Am I still breathing?"
Puppies versus politics — choosing what you let into your moment, being for peace instead of against war
Bliss blips: those little unprovoked blips of bliss that show up for no reason at all, and why they're tied straight to your meditation practice
A short guided meditation using a soft drishti, an environmental scan, and the Om Shanti mantra
Mentions and shoutouts:
Joe Dispenza and the retreat that stuck with me
Wherever You Go, There You Are (I'm pretty sure that's Jon Kabat-Zinn)
Eckhart Tolle, Yogananda, Dan Siegel's "flip your lid," and Mother Teresa's "I won't march against war, but I'll march for peace"
The Vedas on life as a show we get to watch
September retreat at ilovetherapy.com with Sonic Yogi and an amazing Atlanta cellist joining us
If you've ever had a bliss blip, I want to hear about it — email me at cheri@thestresstherapist.com (it's Cheri with a C — wasn't my idea). And come meditate with us at ilovetherapy.com. Connect with me @thestresstherapist on Instagram and @stresstherapy on Twitter. Georgia residents — book a free consultation at thestresstherapist.com. Produced and edited by Owen Flake

Graduation season is here, and Cheri has a message for every new grad that she wishes she'd heard at 22 instead of figuring out the hard way: nobody is coming to save you. Not your parents, not your therapist, not the perfect partner, not your followers. And once you really get that, it's not depressing — it's the most freeing thing in the world. In this quickie episode, Cheri unpacks what it actually looks like to show up for yourself. She talks about why obsessing over how you look to attract the "right" person is a losing game (spoiler: all the dudes look the same after 60 anyway), why disappointment is almost always a sign you were outsourcing your wellbeing, and how taking 100% responsibility for your life is where the magic actually starts. She also gets into the social media trap — how scrolling through someone else's feed means you're paying attention to their agenda instead of your own — and makes the case for being the master and commander of your own attention. You don't have to record your life. You don't have to report on it. The quietest lives can be the richest ones. The episode wraps with a short seated meditation on letting thoughts come and go without judgment, plus a homework assignment: next time you're standing in line at the grocery store or waiting at the dentist, leave the phone in your pocket. Just stand there. Notice what you're thinking. That's it. It used to be normal. We've lost it. Time to get it back. A few things Cheri wants you to walk away with:
You are the person you've been waiting for. Be her. Be him.
Pick the kindest partner. Looks fade, kindness compounds.
Walk away from people who aren't bringing out your best — no animosity, no diagnosis, just go.
Disappointment = you were relying on something outside yourself. Take that as data.
Sitting and doing nothing is not lazy. It's a skill, and it's becoming a rare one.
Connect with Cheri: Instagram: @thestresstherapist Twitter: @stresstherapy Retreats and offerings: ilovetherapy.com Georgia residents — book a free consultation at thestresstherapist.com Produced and edited by Owen Flake.