213 episodes
E211 - John Wineland: Love, Safety & Desire - What Your Wounds Are Deciding for You
08/09/2026 | 1h 53 mins.John Wineland has spent nearly twenty years teaching people how to love more deeply, and in this conversation he lays out why intimacy has become one of the most demanding spiritual practices available to us. We talk about why relationships surface our oldest wounds, why the partner we choose so often mirrors the exact pattern we grew up in, and why that mirroring is not a mistake but an invitation to heal. John also opens up about his daughter Claire, who passed away eight years ago, and what her life and death taught him about grief, presence, and unconditional love.
What We Dive Into:
1. John explains that whatever part of you remains unhealed keeps transmitting into the world, and it draws a partner with the opposite wound so you can replay your childhood dynamic together. He frames this pattern as an opportunity rather than a flaw, since the relationship that triggers you most is often showing you exactly what needs attention.
2. Years of unspoken fear shape how we stand, breathe, and hold tension, so real change requires more than insight alone. John describes training the nervous system through practices like breathwork and qigong so the body can stay open in moments that would normally trigger defense, attack, or withdrawal, which is where lasting change actually happens.
3. Reflecting on his daughter Claire, John shares that there is no end to grief because there is no end to love. He describes honoring grief as an act of self love rather than something to rush past, and encourages anyone facing loss to give that grief real space instead of staying busy to avoid feeling it.
Know Thyself, but not by yourself. A guided space to return home to yourself.
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00:00 Intro
01:48 The Historical Evolution of Love
05:45 Why We Attract Our Reciprocal Wound
08:17 When Relationships Deepen the Wound
10:48 The ROI of Doing the Work
14:30 The Four Pillars of Divine Union
22:56 Safety, Belonging, and Being Loved
26:34 The Wound of Being a Man
31:47 Patterns in Men's Work
37:49 What the Manosphere Gets Right
40:03 Why Men Stay Silent
46:47 Masculine and Feminine as Universal Forces
55:12 Energetic Polarity and the Three Kinds of No
1:01:22 Liberation Through Relationship
1:03:23 Staying Connected Through Busy Seasons
1:10:14 John's Own Attachment Wound
1:15:51 What Claire Taught Him About Love
1:24:00 Should I Stay or Should I Go
1:33:41 Healing Generational Trauma
1:44:45 Preparing for Divine Partnership
1:49:02 The Practice of Incremental Improvement
1:52:01 Closing and Where to Find John
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✨MORE FROM JOHN WINELAND↳Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_wineland/↳YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnWineland↳Teacher Training: https://johnwineland.com/teacher-training/↳Men's Leadership Training: https://johnwineland.com/embodied-mens-leadership-training/https://johnwineland.com
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01/09/2026 | 1h 29 mins.Dr. David Spiegel is the Wilson Professor and Associate Chair of Psychiatry at Stanford, the co-founder of the hypnosis app Reveri, and one of the world's leading clinical researchers on hypnosis. He has worked with over 7,000 patients across 50 years, and in this conversation he opened with something I did not expect: he tested my hypnotizability live on camera. I scored a nine out of ten. What followed was one of the most genuinely surprising conversations about the mind I have had on this show.
What We Dive Into:
1. The self you walk around with is not a fixed structure. Dr. Spiegel calls it a convenient assumption, something the brain constructs to simplify experience. Hypnosis reveals this by demonstrating how quickly and completely a person can shift, often in a single session.
2. Memories are not neutral recordings. They are laid down and retrieved from brain regions that manage affect, which means the emotion and the memory are inseparable. Working with a memory hypnotically allows you to enter it, update its emotional meaning, and change how it lives in you.
3. The same capacity that lets a child survive abuse by mentally leaving their body can, in adulthood, become a habitual distance from experience. Understanding whether your detachment is a protective skill or an old survival pattern still running is one of the more honest questions this conversation surfaces.
Know Thyself, but not by yourself. A guided space to return home to yourself.
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___________
00:00 Intro
01:52 What Hypnosis Actually Is
05:34 The Malleability of Personality and Self
07:01 How Trauma Gets Stored in the Body and Memory
12:00 Hypnosis as the Oldest Western Psychotherapy
15:13 What Happens in the Brain During Hypnosis
18:36 The Default Mode Network and the "My Fault" Network
22:29 How Hypnotizability Is Measured
30:28 What High and Low Hypnotizability Looks Like in Life
33:58 Live Demo: Testing André's Hypnotizability
40:11 Dissociation: Adaptive Defense and Pathological Trap
45:50 How to Use Hypnosis for Stress and Performance
49:07 Hypnosis vs. Meditation: Being vs. Doing
54:41 Flow State, Golf, and the Art of Process Over Outcome
58:13 Believing Is Seeing: The Color Perception Experiment
1:01:00 Perception as a Generative, Interpretive Act
1:03:29 Emotions as Signals and Hypnosis as a Flashlight
1:07:01 Smoking, Self-Respect, and Reframing Addiction
1:09:08 Dr. Spiegel's Path: A Genetic Illness in the Family
1:15:44 Dissociative Identity Disorder and the Many Selves
1:19:54 If There's No Solid Self, Who Are We?
1:22:04 Collective Trance and Societal Hypnosis
1:26:50 Reverie and Empowering Innate Abilities
1:27:12 Closing Message: Learn More About Your Innate Abilities
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✨MORE FROM DR. DAVID SPIEGEL
↳Reveri: https://app.reveri.com/ Use code KNOWTHYSELF20 for 20% off membership
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↳Book recs: https://www.knowthyselfpodcast.com/book-listE209 – Rizwan Virk: Are We Living in a Simulation? (It's Deeper Than You Think)
25/08/2026 | 2h 34 mins.Rizwan Virk is an MIT-trained computer scientist, video game pioneer, and bestselling author of The Simulation Hypothesis. His work sits at a rare intersection: quantum physics, Eastern mysticism, and the architecture of video games, all pointing toward the same unsettling and strangely liberating conclusion. In this conversation, we explore not the nihilistic version of simulation theory, but the one that actually gives life more meaning rather than less.
What We Dive Into:
1. The simulation Rizwan describes is not one where you are code running on a server. You are the soul outside the game, choosing an avatar and entering by choice. The body is the character. The player is something more.
2. Synchronicities, hunches, recurring patterns, these are not coincidences. Rizwan frames them as messages from a deeper intelligence, perhaps a future self, a guide, or the part of you watching the game from outside. The practice is learning to read them rather than dismiss them.
3. In a well-designed game, difficulty scales to keep you engaged and growing. Rizwan applies the same logic to life: the quests that keep returning are the ones not yet completed, and completing them is what the game is actually for.
Know Thyself, but not by yourself. A guided space to return home to yourself.
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00:00 Intro
01:46 NPC vs. RPG: Two Flavors of Simulation Theory
07:44 The Universe as Information: It from Bit
13:07 The Second Assertion: Information Rendered as Real
18:06 Non-Locality, Quantum Entanglement, and the Speed of Light
22:32 The Simulation Point: When VR Becomes Indistinguishable
26:44 The Third Assertion: The World as Purposeful Illusion
35:23 Awakening as Becoming Lucid in the Dream
38:52 The Fourth Assertion: You Chose to Play the Game
43:42 Life Selection, Forgetfulness, and the Bardo
49:28 Savant Children and the Autism-as-Backdoor Hypothesis
57:28 The Literal vs. Metaphorical Axis of Simulation Theory
1:01:52 Yogananda and the Film Projector Metaphor
1:07:34 The Life Review, the Book of Life, and the Karmic Database
1:13:47 Samskaras, Vasanas, and Yoga as Cessation of Whirlpools
1:17:34 Clues on the Treasure Hunt: Synchronicity and the Quest Path
1:22:38 The Simulated Multiverse: Running the Simulation More Than Once
1:30:09 The Tiger Swami: External Tigers and Inner Ones
1:36:23 Rizwan's Heart Surgery and the Course Correction
1:44:14 Karma, Dream Palaces, and the Questing Engine
1:48:49 Living the Life Review Before You Die
1:57:01 Kindness Is Enforced by the Architecture
2:03:17 Epistemic Humility at the Edge of Mystical Claims
2:14:22 What Is Outside the Simulation?
2:22:54 UFOs: Interstellar, Interdimensional, or Rendered?
2:33:09 Closing Message: Challenges Are Integral to the Game
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✨MORE FROM RIZWAN VIRK
↳Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rizcambridge
↳YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rizwanvirksimulation
↳X: https://x.com/Rizstanford
↳Buy The Simulation Hypothesis Book: https://www.zenentrepreneur.com/simulationhypothesis
↳https://www.zenentrepreneur.com
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↳Book recs: https://www.knowthyselfpodcast.com/book-list- Dr. Robert Lustig is a neuroendocrinologist, pediatrician, and bestselling author who has spent 45 years watching children get sicker despite his best efforts to stop it. His work connects the dots between ultra-processed food, mitochondrial dysfunction, dopamine hijacking, and the chronic stress epidemic in a way that is impossible to dismiss. In this conversation, we explore what he calls the hostage brain, what happens to a nervous system under sustained biochemical assault, and why so much of what we call personal failure is actually a systems problem.
What We Dive Into:
1. When chronic pain, emotional or physical, goes unresolved, the brain reaches for anything that spikes dopamine to quiet it. Over time, tolerance builds and neurons die. Lustig's point is that this is not a personal weakness. The food, the screens, and the stress have conspired to put nearly all of us in some version of this state.
2. Dopamine drives wanting. Serotonin drives contentment. The loneliness epidemic is not simply a social problem but a neurochemical one. Cortisol reduces serotonin, dopamine antagonizes it, and ultra-processed food depletes the tryptophan needed to make it.
3. Lustig draws a clear line between primary needs, love, sleep, real food, and secondary desires, status, power, accumulation. Meeting the basics first is both the simplest and most radical act available.
Know Thyself, but not by yourself. A guided space to return home to yourself.
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___________
00:00 Intro
02:02 What Is Hostage Brain?
04:47 The Loss of Stress Resilience
09:15 Dopamine, Tolerance, and the Addicted Brain
11:26 The Five Causes of Hijacked Biology
13:08 The Amygdala: Fear Center, Air Traffic Controller, Buckshot
16:07 The Four Brakes on the Amygdala and Why They're Failing
22:13 From Real Food to Ultra-Processed Food: The Five Changes
23:51 Sugar: The Big Kahuna
29:57 Mitochondria, Body Temperature, and the Energy Crisis
32:33 The Corporate Machine: Big Food, Big Pharma, and the Atlas Network
36:26 Does Big Food Collude with Big Pharma?
40:51 Children Getting Sicker: The Systemic Failure
46:10 "Personal Responsibility" Is a Tobacco Industry Invention
51:44 Freedom of Choice Is Really Freedom to Blame
53:11 Loneliness vs. Solitude: The Serotonin Distinction
56:52 You Can't Love with an Inflamed Brain
57:25 The Gut-Brain Axis and the Light of Tryptophan
1:03:13 Orange vs. Orange Juice: Why Fiber Is the Point
1:07:44 BioLumen and Making Ultra-Processed Food Healthy
1:16:14 Insulin, the Three Fat Depots, and Thin Outside Fat Inside
1:25:10 How to Reduce Liver Fat
1:26:19 Sugar, ADHD, and the Prefrontal Cortex
1:26:41 Practical Steps: Phones, Plastics, and Environmental Toxins
1:33:18 The Four C's: Connect, Contribute, Cope, Cook
1:41:29 Community Questions: ATP, Cognition, and the Biological Basis of Consciousness
1:45:27 What Gives Dr. Lustig Hope
1:47:38 Closing Message: Tend to Yourself First
___________
✨MORE FROM DR. ROBERT LUSTIG
↳Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrRobertLustig/
↳Metabolical Book: https://metabolical.com
↳https://robertlustig.com
STUDIES MENTIONED:
↳https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41880620/
↳https://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/505/504/
↳https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306987726001544
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↳Book recs: https://www.knowthyselfpodcast.com/book-list - Jim George is a stillness coach, former animator, and one of the first guests ever to appear on this podcast. He has spent nearly 50 years developing what he calls practical spirituality, a way of working with the mind that requires no doctrine, no dogma, and no special belief system. What it does require is the willingness to get quiet enough to see what is actually there. In this conversation, we return to the most essential territory: the cost of mental noise, the nature of the ego, and what it genuinely means to be present for your own life.
What We Dive Into:
1. The noise in the mind is not neutral. Every moment spent in a self-generated narrative about the past or future is a moment you were not actually there. At the end of a life of that, Jim says, there is a strange vacuum.
2. The drive for status was not a character flaw. It was, quite literally, a matter of life and death for our ancestors. Understanding that gives you room to stop being run by it. When you see the mechanism clearly, competition can begin to evolve into something closer to cooperation, which Jim argues is the actual path forward for the species.
3. Gratitude is not a feeling you perform. It is focused attention on what already is, and it shifts your neurochemistry from dopamine-driven wanting toward something more stable.
Know Thyself, but not by yourself. A guided space to return home to yourself.
https://www.knowthyselfcollective.com
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___________
00:00 Intro
02:40 The Cost of Normalizing Internal Noise
06:07 What the Noise Is Made Of: Limbic Survival and Chatter
12:11 The Contrast Between Noise and Stillness
14:52 Status as an Evolutionary Artifact
24:16 Normalization and the Tiger in the Mind
29:18 Pure Stillness vs. Stillishness
32:37 The Ego Narrative and the Illusion of Separation
40:14 Everything We Want Is an End to Seeking
45:36 Simplicity, Dopamine, and the Holotropic Universe
49:27 What Happens When Subject and Object Dissolve
57:32 Stillness as Practice, Not Destination
59:24 Self-Love vs. Realizing Self as Love
1:02:08 How to Actually Do It: The Long, Short, and Micro Form
1:08:38 The Gifts of Headlessness: Harding's List
1:13:47 Physics, the Quantum Field, and the Non-Physical
1:25:15 How Far the Self Can Expand
1:37:08 Values Work: What's Actually Driving Your Behavior
1:47:18 Finding Your Me-Shaped Hole in the Universe
1:59:43 The Universe Conspires When You Commit
2:08:31 Closing Message: Quiet Down and Bring It
___________
✨MORE FROM JIM GEORGE
↳Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimgeorgeofficial/↳Contact: https://getstill.com/
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About Know Thyself
Know Thyself is a community supporting you to KNOW the true nature of yourself and the world around you, THRIVE in your health, wealth, and relationships – ultimately empowering you to CREATE and share your true self with the world.
Each week André Duqum interviews experts in their field; ranging from spiritual educators to cutting edge scientists, heart-led creatives & more on topics such as the true nature of ‘Self’, “what is reality?,” and exploring the fundamental pillars we all need to unlock our fullest potential.
Contributing to birthing a more beautiful world, one episode at a time.
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