The AfterMeth: Gay Men Recovering from Crystal Methamphetamine and Chemsex Addiction

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Study Guide: https://www.recoveryalchemy.org/newsletters/blog/posts/feelingishealing
In this powerful episode of The AfterMeth Podcast, Dallas welcomes Amanita Calderón-Cifuentes — a Colombian trans woman, PhD in molecular biomedicine, and HIV research and advocacy officer with Trans Europe Central Asia — as the podcast's first transgender guest. The two met at the International Chemsex Conference in Antwerp, and their conversation picks up with the same warmth and intellectual depth that marked their connection there. 

Amanita brings a perspective that challenges the conventional recovery narrative: as someone who has navigated 11 years of drug use, including periods of psychosis and problematic methamphetamine use, she speaks from lived experience rather than abstinence-based ideology. Drawing on the foundational framework of drug, set, and setting, she offers a nuanced account of why people use, how biological versus psychological addiction operate differently, and why a one-size-fits-all approach to recovery often sets people up to fail.
 What makes this conversation particularly resonant for Dallas's audience is Amanita's unflinching exploration of the deeper drivers of drug dependency — internalized shame, minority stress, and disconnection from self and community. She reframes recovery not as the act of stopping, but as the ongoing practice of compassion, curiosity, and radical self-love. 

For trans people, sex workers, and all those carrying compounded layers of stigma, she argues that the first act of healing is simply accepting that you are in pain — and letting yourself feel it. Dallas reflects on how this mirrors his own work with gay men trapped in cycles of self-hatred and relapse, affirming that true integration requires welcoming the wounded self rather than warring against it. Together, they land on a shared truth: what most people are searching for beneath their drug use is connection — to others, and to themselves.
Find Amanita on Instagram: @pbyamanita
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Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/newsletters/blog/posts/counting
The AfterMeth Podcast | Season 3 | Shame of Starting at Zero
In this video, Dallas Bragg breaks down why the traditional day-counting model in recovery was never designed for gay men navigating chemsex recovery from crystal methamphetamine, and why resetting to zero after a use episode may be doing more harm than good.
Drawing on neuroscience, relapse statistics, and his direct experience working with men in chemsex recovery, Bragg explains why chemsex is fundamentally different from general substance use disorder. When crystal meth becomes fused to sexual experience, the brain encodes the drug and sex as a single event, creating neural pathways that make sex itself a powerful relapse trigger. Generic recovery frameworks were not built to address this dual complexity, and the standard day counter was not built with queer men in mind.
Bragg examines the shame architecture embedded in the zero, the moment a man uses after building a streak and watches everything reset. For men in chemsex recovery already carrying significant psychological weight, that reset is not motivating. This is shame in a recovery costume, and shame is one of the strongest predictors of relapse.
Rather than discarding measurement altogether, Dallas introduces a window-based approach used inside his Recovery Alchemy coaching program. Instead of tracking consecutive sober days, men measure their progress across 90-day and 180-day windows, comparing use frequency over time rather than performance in a single streak. This method reflects the actual trajectory of recovery, which is rarely a straight line, and allows men to see real, measurable movement without the threat of losing everything at zero.
This episode is for gay men, queer men, and men who have sex with men who are tired of forcing their recovery into a framework that was never meant for them.
Topics covered in this episode include: why chemsex recovery requires a different understanding of addiction, the neuroscience behind meth and sex fusion, relapse statistics specific to crystal methamphetamine and chemsex recovery, how shame functions as a relapse trigger, and an alternative to day counting designed for men in queer recovery.
To apply for our Group Coaching Program, Recovery Alchemy, click here: https://calendly.com/d/cngd-ymw-cr3
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 https://www.drdallasbragg.com/newsletters/blog/posts/sexoffenders
The AfterMeth Podcast tackles one of the most heavily stigmatized intersections in chemsex recovery — the moral injury that can arise when men find themselves exposed to, or participants in, content and behavior during crystal meth use that violates their own values, including child pornography, non-consensual acts, and other taboo material. In this episode, Dallas is joined by Scott Stolarick, a licensed master's level clinician with over three decades of experience and the founder of Mosaic Pathway Counseling in Gurney, Illinois. Scott spent 26 years evaluating and treating sex offenders, and his rare combination of legal-system knowledge and deep clinical compassion makes him uniquely equipped to help listeners understand the landscape they may be navigating — whether they face charges, carry private shame, or both. Together, Scott and Dallas explore how the clinical and legal worlds often collide in painful ways, and why engagement, honesty, and building a history with a qualified therapist are essential first steps toward healing.
A central theme of this conversation is the distinction between acceptance and approval — a framework Scott introduces to help men make peace with parts of themselves without endorsing harmful behavior. Rather than fighting or suppressing urges born from chemically altered states, Scott encourages a concentric circle model of accountability: starting from what a person can own, and working gradually inward toward fuller self-reckoning. Dallas brings his own vulnerability to the episode, sharing a personal example of how meth-fueled conversations crossed his own boundaries in ways that took significant time to process in recovery. The message is clear and compassionately delivered — you are not alone in what you witnessed, said, or felt during active use, and the path forward requires not self-condemnation, but structured, shame-informed therapeutic work with a clinician who truly understands this population.
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Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/newsletters/blog/posts/fckit
The AfterMeth Podcast | Season 3 | Fuck-its
In this video, Dallas Bragg breaks down the "fuck-its" — the moment in chemsex recovery when everything you've built seems to disappear in an instant — and why it's never actually "out of nowhere."
If you're a gay man navigating crystal meth recovery or chemsex recovery, this episode is essential. Dallas explains the physiological truth behind the fuck-its: they are not a character flaw, but a nervous system event driven by accumulated emotional pressure. Using his pressure cooker model, he maps out the three stages of relapse — emotional relapse, mental relapse, and physical relapse — and shows you exactly where intervention works best.
You'll also learn four evidence-backed strategies to stop the relapse train before it ever leaves the station: Notice everything and tell somebody (the neuroscience of oxytocin and connection). Write it down (how journaling activates your prefrontal cortex and reduces cortisol). Deploy a restorative practice the same day (why timing matters for nervous system reset). Vagal breathing to regulate your dopamine and calm your fight-or-flight response.
This episode is for men who have sex with men in recovery, queer men navigating chemsex addiction, and anyone who has ever white-knuckled it through a hard stretch only to find themselves blindsided by a relapse. Crystal methamphetamine rewires your reward circuits — and this episode gives you the tools to rewire them back.
Don't forget to grab the supplemental study guide linked in the show notes!
Keywords: chemsex, chemsex recovery, crystal methamphetamine recovery, crystal meth, gay men recovery, queer recovery, recovery for men who have sex with men, meth relapse prevention, PNP recovery, emotional relapse, mental relapse, fuck-its in recovery, nervous system regulation, vagal breathing, euphoric recall
To apply for our Group Coaching Program, Recovery Alchemy, click here: https://calendly.com/d/cngd-ymw-cr3
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Study Guide: 
https://www.drdallasbragg.com/newsletters/blog/posts/sobercommunity
In this episode of The AfterMeth Podcast, host Dallas Bragg sits down with Jordan Hurt, New York City-based real estate agent and cast member of the Netflix reality series Owning Manhattan, who made headlines by publicly sharing his sobriety journey on the show's second season. Jordan opens up about a life shaped early by alcoholism, instability, and the challenges of coming out as a gay teenager in Toledo, Ohio with virtually no community or support. His story eventually led him into the sex party scene in New York City, where crystal meth entered the picture — a turning point he describes as instantly recognizable as a descent into hell. He and Dallas explore the nuanced, non-linear nature of recovery, pushing back against the all-or-nothing mindset that can cause men to spiral into shame after a relapse, and instead championing self-compassion, honest goal-setting, and the understanding that setbacks don't erase progress.
The conversation then pivots to Jordan's latest venture: Queerity, billed as the world's first sober LGBTQ+ social, dating, and hookup app. Born from the recognition that mainstream apps like Grindr can be deeply triggering — and in some cases algorithmically engineered to connect users within chemsex culture — Queerity offers a safer digital space where users can identify as sober, sober-curious, or in recovery, explore their sexuality freely, and connect with like-minded people without navigating loaded conversations about drug use. The app includes daily wellness check-ins, community event listings, and sober venue guides, and is intentionally inclusive beyond 12-step frameworks. Dallas encourages listeners in early recovery to download the app not just for connection, but as a way to practice sexual reintegration — rediscovering desire and identity in a space designed to protect their sobriety.
Find Jordan here:
Instagram: @queerityapp
3 months free subscription for anyone who signs up using promo code DRDALLAS
Instagram: @jordvnhurt
 
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