The AfterMeth: Gay Men Recovering from Crystal Methamphetamine and Chemsex Addiction

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Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.recoveryalchemy.org/newsletters/blog/posts/chemsexaddict
In this solo episode of The AfterMeth Podcast, Dallas Bragg opens with a scene from his active use — sitting on a patio, scrolling Grindr, negotiating with himself about whether to lose a weekend to partying — and the question that surfaced in the middle of it: if part of him wanted to use and part of him didn't, then who was the one watching both? That moment became the seed of what he calls parts integration, a practice that reshaped his own recovery and now anchors the work he does with clients. Dallas makes a direct case against identity-level language, arguing that repeating "I am an addict" reinforces a program in the nervous system and turns a behavior into a life sentence. The soul self, he insists, was never an addict and never will be. The shift he asks for is small on paper and seismic in practice: not "I want to use," but "a part of me wants to use."
From there the episode becomes a practical walkthrough. Dallas offers three ways to open dialogue with the part that wants to use — personification (giving it a shape, age, essence, and a name that isn't cruel, since naming it evil means naming yourself evil), a written back-and-forth letter exchange, and a quiet meditative ask. He then maps the integration work itself using a real client example shared with permission, moving through four questions asked of both parts: core belief, method, fear, and wish. Euphoria and connection turn out to be pointing at the same thing; both parts fear a flat, gray life; both wish for an exciting, thriving one. The integrated statements that emerge — including the "when I feel, I find" method frame — put the listener back in the mediator's seat rather than at the mercy of an urge. Dallas is clear about the scope, noting he isn't trained in Internal Family Systems and isn't doing therapy here, but preparing listeners for it. A supplemental study guide and a two-page fillable worksheet accompany the episode, with links in the show notes.
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Dallas Bragg
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Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.recoveryalchemy.org/newsletters/blog/posts/relationships
In this episode, Dallas Bragg welcomes Aidan Wharton — a New York-based sex and relationships writer, educator, and columnist specializing in open relationships — for a candid conversation exploring non-monogamy through the lens of gay men's recovery from chemsex. Dallas is upfront about his own evolving bias, shaped by painful past experiences with a broken open relationship, and uses the conversation to interrogate his assumptions alongside Aidan's eight years of lived experience with his husband. Aidan reframes open relationships not as a rejection of monogamy's values but as an expansion rooted in living fully — acknowledging that no single partner can be "everything," while emphasizing that healthy non-monogamy depends on the same foundation as any relationship: trust, respect, and communication. The two dig into jealousy as a teacher rather than a flaw, unpacking how underlying wounds like fear of exclusion (which Dallas names as a particularly resonant theme for gay men) surface disguised as jealousy in open dynamics.
The conversation turns sharply practical when Dallas shares a vivid, in-the-moment story of nearly hooking up with a thruple he suspected was using — walking listeners through the subtle behavioral cues of active meth use (delayed responses, jitteriness, lowered standards, lack of due diligence) as both a cautionary tale and harm-reduction education. Aidan and Dallas then offer concrete guidance for men in recovery considering opening a relationship: minimizing complicating variables (familiar partners, safe locations, avoiding relapse-associated settings), practicing aftercare with oneself, one's hookup, and one's primary partner, and using tools like the "third entity" framework — treating the relationship itself as a stakeholder distinct from either individual — to navigate requests and boundaries without resentment. They close by distinguishing "balanced" from "equal" experiences within a relationship, and Aidan offers a broader reflection on self-compassion, cautioning listeners about how phone and dopamine culture quietly erodes the very communication and presence that healthy relationships — open or not — require.
Contact Aidan:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton/?hl=en
Substack: http://gaybuffet.substack.com/

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Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.recoveryalchemy.org/newsletters/blog/posts/love
In this solo episode of The AfterMeth Podcast, Dallas Bragg opens with two mirrors from his own early recovery: the morning-after wreckage of a bender, where he catalogued everything wrong with him, and the day-90 reflection glowing with gratitude and quiet superiority over men still using. His revelation is that both images were lying, because both showed only half of him—and, as he puts it, you cannot love half a man. Dallas maps the pendulum so many in chemsex recovery live on, swinging between self-flagellation and self-indulgence, inflating on the pedestal and collapsing into the pit, pushed by constant comparison to other men. Neither extreme, he argues, is the authentic self, and without that authentic self there is no way to be truly loved by a partner, by brothers in recovery, or by oneself.
From there Dallas reframes love itself, rejecting the idea that love is a feeling—because if love were the rush, then meth was love too—and offering instead a definition rooted in equanimity: the willingness to observe all aspects of a person, light and shadow, and accept what you see. He grounds this in research linking equanimity to fewer problematic addictive behaviors and reduced cravings, connecting it to the compassionate observer that recurs throughout his work, the consciousness that finally sets down the judge's gavel. Applied to relapse, this lens turns a using episode from a verdict into information, transforming the user from a failure back into a student. He closes with three practices—balancing the ledger on other men through shadow work, catching the swing between pride and shame in real time, and retiring the judge to hire the curious researcher—and a weekly Level Ledger exercise that ends with ten seconds of eye contact in the mirror, seeing the whole man at once. A supplemental study guide is linked in the show notes.
The AfterMeth:
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Free online course to End the Relapse Cycle: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/e7c2Eo22/checkout
Meth-Free Blueprint EBOOK: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/o8qFhK5i/checkout

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Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.recoveryalchemy.org/newsletters/blog/posts/homeless
In this special episode — the first ever recorded in person for The AfterMeth Podcast — Dallas Bragg travels to Los Angeles for a chemsex conference and sits down with Thiccums, the voice behind the Instagram page "How to Be Homeless in LA." What unfolds is a candid, deeply human conversation about loss, survival, and the slow work of reclaiming one's worth. Thiccums traces a life that once held two houses, two cars, and a marriage, and how the death of his mother, a divorce, and a childhood spent searching for belonging in the foster care system opened the door to meth. His story lands squarely on a theme familiar to so many in recovery: how the drug offered a counterfeit sense of acceptance, euphoria, and appreciation to a man who had spent a lifetime looking for love and a place to call home. Dallas and Thiccums move through the arc of addiction with unusual honesty — the progression from party spaces to isolated use, the paranoia and psychosis, the grief of watching a friend die, and the guilt that eventually led Thiccums into therapy.
Grounding the conversation in practical reality, Thiccums walks listeners through the systems he learned to navigate: contingency management programs through APLA's chemsex services, shelter intake and housing matrices, general relief and food stamps, and the everyday resources — showers, laundry, restrooms, a listening ear — that make survival on the street possible. He speaks openly about the role fentanyl test strips played in his decision to slow down, the impact of budget cuts on the recovery meetings that once sustained him, and his diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder as one window into why some are drawn to substances in the first place. Threaded throughout is Thiccums's hard-won message of self-love and self-acceptance — that recovery begins with knowing you are enough, exactly as you are. The episode closes with a gentle call to community care and a reminder that small acts of dignity can change a life.
Contact Thiccums:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_real_thiccums/
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Dallas Bragg
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YouTube: The Aftermeth Podcast
X: https://twitter.com/Drdallasbragg
Free online course to End the Relapse Cycle: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/e7c2Eo22/checkout
Meth-Free Blueprint EBOOK: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/o8qFhK5i/checkout

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Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.recoveryalchemy.org/newsletters/blog/posts/glitching
In this solo episode, Dallas Bragg explores what he calls "glitching" — the disorienting middle phase of chemsex recovery when old patterns have been stripped away but a new identity hasn't yet formed. He opens with a raw story from his own early recovery: riding the last light rail across Charlotte at 2am to a run-down motel room, sitting in deafening silence after a life that had been "full-time" chemsex, and feeling the disassociation of having his entire operating system — apps, contacts, predictable rituals — suddenly removed. Dallas frames this as liminal space, a concept borrowed from contemplative and research traditions, and explains why it feels less like relief and more like grief: chemsex wasn't just about drugs or sex, but a structure that told men who to be and what role to play, often as a way to feel safe, wanted, or approved of after complex trauma.
Dallas grounds the episode in research, citing a longitudinal study of men who have sex with men showing that lower identity continuity and higher internalized shame predict riskier cycling patterns, while a more stable sense of self predicts grounded, integrated outcomes — and a mindfulness-based pilot study with young MSM in recovery linking present-moment awareness to greater self-compassion and identity stability. He normalizes the typical three-to-six-month timeline for this transition, encourages meeting old-pattern impulses without judgment, and closes by returning to his motel story — describing how he used visualization to picture his future life with his children rather than relapsing — framing liminal space not as a void to fear but as an open, even joyful, opportunity to consciously imagine and build the life a man wants after chemsex.
The AfterMeth:
Join our Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theaftermeth/
Dallas Bragg
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drdallasbragg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdallasbragg/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drdallasbragg
YouTube: The Aftermeth Podcast
X: https://twitter.com/Drdallasbragg
Free online course to End the Relapse Cycle: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/e7c2Eo22/checkout
Meth-Free Blueprint EBOOK: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/o8qFhK5i/checkout