The Parenting Reframe

• The Power Pause with Neha Ruch

  In this episode, I have the absolute pleasure of talking with Neha Ruch, the founder of Mother Untitled, the leading platform for ambitious women leaning into family life. A thought leader, writer and speaker on parenting, women, work and identity, Neha established Mother Untitled in 2017 after working for a decade in digital and brand strategy and earning an MBA from Stanford. Her new book, The Power Pause, examines how to take a career pause after having kids and is available now. We discuss how taking a pause in many stages of life has incredible benefits and the different ways it can look for moms. Here’s what we talk about with Neha: How the question of “What do you do?” has become intertwined in the fabric of who we are as individuals. Ways to change the language surrounding each chapter of your life to a more expansive view.A career pause makes room to chart out other ways you want to grow personally.How “The Mommy Wars” started and the way the narrative has shifted and become more fluid over time. The ways the COVID pandemic caused an examination of work and family balance.Tools to consider for a career pause when there are concerns about finances, work/life balance, and household contributions.Shifting the view of taking a step down from a career to gaining a collection of experiences. Resources:The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Pause-Career-Kids-Stronger/dp/0593716183Overwhelmed by Brigid Schulte: https://www.brigidschulte.com/overwhelmedEllse Loehnen podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-40-on-our-best-behavior-with-elise-loehnen/For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.comAnd be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

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• The Three Pillars to Connected Parenting

  Happy 2025! The past year has been really transformative for me personally and professionally and I’m excited for what this new year might bring. I want to thank all of you who take the time to listen to my podcast, read my Substack, or even watch a video clip on TikTok. It’s really affirming to know I’m reaching all of you in some way. A few updates for 2025 that I’m excited to share with you:New model for one-on-one coaching: I’m moving to a 12-week model, where you get 12 weekly calls with me. You’ll have me create scripts and plans to use in your home and answer questions as they arise. Only 1 spot is available for January!Group coaching is returning in February! This more affordable option offers the added benefit of gaining support from others in your situation.I’m launching a membership! I’ve been working on a membership and I want to make it as interactive as possible. It will be a hybrid of courses and live video calls. Stay tuned for more information! The Three Pillars to Connected ParentingWhen we adopt a martyr parent mindframe, it doesn’t benefit your children in the way you think it does.We pride ourselves on being really busy, but when we burn out, what happens to your family? A Process to Help Interparent YourselfParenting is a process full of wisdom and transformation that we can apply to moments in our adult lives like loss and growth. Using PARR to help us understand what our triggers are and cause us to have big reactions towards our kids. There’s always something we can change instead of resigning to being too tired or too busy while having a reactionary response. The five pillars of parenting yourself: master pausing, practice stillness, honoring simplicity, honoring change, trusting your intuition.Create an Environment Conducive to ConnectionShowing our kids we are the ones in control of our lives and priorities. There are moments when we can create meaningful connections with our kids but we need to be present and intentional about it. It’s healthy for kids to spend time alone, and being mindful of the time we spend with them makes it more impactful. Honoring Your Ability to Process Complex EmotionsIt’s likely many of us learned to suppress or bypass complex emotions due to our upbringing. Our discomfort when our own kids are having a complex emotion is something very foreign to us so we need to learn how to sit with it instead of trying to change or cover it up. In moments of dysregulation you can say “I am safe and so are they.” Resources: Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call to see if 1:1 coaching is right for you: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qfThe Three Pillars to Connected Parenting article: https://albiona.substack.com/p/the-3-pillars-to-connected-parenting?r=dan8yThe Busyness Trap article: https://albiona.substack.com/p/spotting-the-busyness-trapSelf Regulation Workshop Free Download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-download-emotional-regulation-for-parentsPARR Workshop Free Download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-parr-workshop-downloadBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

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  26:23
• 3 Tips for Raising Strong-Willed Kids

  In today's solo minisode I’m talking all about strong-willed kids. I’ve been talking a lot about this in my emails and on my social media lately because I know it’s a topic that many parents struggle with. Strong-willed kids are the ones that I like to call fair fighters - they’re always keeping score and want to make sure everything is right in their world. But this can cause them to easily spiral out of control the second things don’t go their way. I want to share three key points that come up over and over again in one-on-one and group coaching in regards to strong willed kids.If this episode resonates with you, consider signing up for my group coaching program all about raising strong willed kids and emotional regulation for kids and parents starting November 21! The link to register is in the Resources. Does Your Kid Value Approval or Power? We set up an expectation and kids usually comply.Strong-willed kids don’t seek or value approval from authority or parents. It’s not important enough for them.Instead they value power but they don’t have the capacity to hold all of it. They try to find out how much power they can have until they start to lose control.Strong-willed kids will then look for an anchor to keep them in a safe state when they start to lose control.Explanations Don’t Work We try to give kids the tools and the choices to understand why things are happening. Explanations don’t deter a strong-willed kid from their actions.An explanation gives information but they are not lacking information. It may be a bigger issue of impulse control, tolerating frustration, sensory overload, or something else.If there is a lack of information, the next time they face something similar the outcome will be different. Get to the root of what skills they need to develop to reduce the behavior you don’t want to see. Self Regulate YourselfIt’s incredibly triggering for parents when a strong-willed kid is emotionally out of control. It’s important for the parent to self regulate themselves when the child is unable to.They are looking for someone to be calm in the storm.We have to create a really consistent, predictable structure through boundaries. This structuring takes time and will take a while to set the expectations and make changes where needed. Teaching them how to regulate their emotions is an important step to help your child foster their inner free spirit and communicate their needs and emotions.Resources: Sign up for my Group Coaching Program starting November 21: stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/group-coaching-raising-strong-willed-kids-51n42Joe Newman podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-49-a-raising-lions-q-a-with-joe-newman/ Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qfBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

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  19:52
• Parenting on the Same Page

  I’m back with another solo episode and I’m giving you a recap of what I discussed in my latest workshop, Parenting on the Same Page. Many people struggle with conflict between their partners inside their homes on a day-to-day basis regarding parenting decisions. While they love and respect each other at the core, the heightened moments of emotion and stress can cause friction between two parents. I’m going to share with you the three tools you can implement today to help get back to parenting as a team.All Feelings are Welcome. All Behaviors are NotWhat is the emotion or feeling your child is experiencing? What is the behavior you don’t want to see? What is the behavior you do want to see?As you are calm and steady as the parent, you set clear boundaries for behavioral expectations.You need a game plan to address these situations and avoid reacting in an escalated way toward your child and each other. How can you validate the feeling your child is experiencing while still holding your boundary? How can you lean on each other in these stressful moments to help each other out?When you parent consistently on the same team, you will see a reduction of your child’s challenging behaviors.Be Reflective of the Language You Use with Each OtherConnect, don’t correct.Connective language is focused on yourself, your emotions, and your feelings, and finding a way to connect on a similar level with your partner.Have these discussions in moments of calm so you can both approach the conversation from a regulated place.A Dysregulated Adult Cannot Help a Dysregulated ChildIf your immediate reaction is to become dysregulated when your child behaves a certain way, it will not help the situation. You need to work through what the triggers are that cause you to feel dysregulated in stressful moments. Using breathing and physical redirection can help you to calm down and pause. Use PARR to become a more responsive parent.Resources: - I have three one-on-one coaching spots left for 2024! If you sign up for coaching with me, I’m offering a free, 60 minute bonus session called “Optimizing Your Schedule” that helps you create a schedule that works for you and find your balance.- Dr. Aliza Pressman, The 5 Principles of Parenting: https://draliza.com/ - Free Self Regulation Workshop download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-download-emotional-regulation-for-parents Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qfBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

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  21:24
• Parenting Toddlers with Dr. Rebekah Diamond

  In this episode I have a conversation with my friend, Dr. Rebekah Diamond. She is a pediatrician and the author of two books: Eat, Sleep, Tantrum, Repeat and Parent Like a Pediatrician. Dr. Diamond bridges the worlds of being a pediatrician with being a parent. She adds a lot of great parental insight into many aspects of parenting from the rigid research to the wild west of the internet.  Here’s what we talk about with Dr. Diamond: Why the toddler phase is so challenging for so many parents on a daily basis in relation to the advice being given.Parenting advice can be helpful but you can take the pieces that feel good for your own parenting and leave the rest. Parental efficacy, or parental confidence, will directly translate to positive parenting for your child. Different parenting styles and how parents can create their own parenting philosophy to tune into what you and your child need.The reasons why toddlers have tantrums and how to navigate these emotional episodes using different strategies.Setting realistic and developmentally appropriate boundaries and consequences for toddlers. Balancing rewards and external motivators to help toddlers learn about life skills.The importance of a consistent bedtime routine with toddlers and how to implement it in your home.Viewing parenting issues from the stance from whether or not there is an actual problem and determining if you need to take action.Why separation anxiety is developmentally normal in kids and how parents can work through their emotions related to it. Resources:You can find Dr. Diamond on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentlikeapediatrician/?hl=enParent Like a Pediatrician: https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Like-Pediatrician-Facts-None/dp/0806541636Eat, Sleep, Tantrum, Repeat: https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Like-Pediatrician-Facts-None/dp/0806541636Dr. Shefali podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-54-conscious-parenting-with-dr-shefali/ For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.comAnd be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

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